


The Elite Way School - Season 1: Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

by Clementines



Series: The Elite Way [2]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-03 01:59:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 127,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1726994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clementines/pseuds/Clementines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story is set in the Elite Way Academy; it is a boarding school somewhere in Europe. Reserved for an economic privileged group, the school is attended by children of VIP. A minority of poor –or belonging to the middle class- students is granted a scholarship because of some outstanding intellectual, sportive or artistic capacities. </p><p>Leo, Cristiano, Sergio, Andrés, Bastian, Marcelo, Neymar, Xabi, Robin and Villa rule the school. Others from poorer backgrounds like Wayne, Silva, Mesut, Gareth or Kaká try to survive. Iker and Álvaro have mysteriously begun a solitary life in the school. It’s September and a new scholar year is about to start; Fábio, Fernando and Cesc arrive at the school thanks to a scholarship. Will they survive?</p><p>Friendships, betrayals, love, sex, lies, choices, money, secrets... That’s high school for you my friends.</p><p>This is intended to be a long series; players will probably be add along the way, don’t hesitate to make special demands. I will let the pairs reveal themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome

**Author's Note:**

> None of this ever happened. Everything is pure fiction.

Leo sighed deeply in front of his most beloved building. The trip from Rosario had been exhausting; he thought it would never end. He had to endured that stupid taxi driver... ugh, how much he hated those proletarian persons. 

Luckily enough for him, he was back home. A whole year of parties and happiness waited for him behind the closed doors. Holydays were great but school, this one at least, was greater. 

“The king is back!” He shouted into the warm air of September. 

 

Gareth and Fábio

 

“Hello, how are you? My name is Gareth. Gareth Bale.”

Fábio looked up at the boy who was greeting him out of the blue. He hadn’t even fully gotten inside the room.

“Hmm, Fábio. Fábio Coentrao.”

“Well, nice to meet you Fábio. Do you mind if I call you Fáb? Nah! I’m sure you don’t mind. Welcome to the Elite Way School Fáb, I’ll be your roommate this year.”

This guy is weird, thought Fábio. He wasn’t complaining though; he was in a new place with no family and friends, he could use a weird friendly roommate.

“This room is huge.”

Gareth laughed at Fábio’s reaction. He had gone through that once; they all had.

“I know. Everything here is huge.”

“Yeah, it felt like Harry Potter’s castle when I came in.”

“You’ll get used to it, we all do. So, where are you from Fábio?”

“I’m from the North of Portugal.”

“How did you get the scholarship?” 

“How do you know I got a scholarship?”

Gareth laughed anew. His new roommate was going to be a funny guy to be with, he could already tell. 

“Only people with scholarships get shocked by the place. And your aspect... well, you’ll understand when you see the other guys.”

“What others guys?”

“The rich ones, the sons of very important people. I’m going to give you the first great piece of advice, you’ll thank me later for it.”

Fábio looked at Gareth expectantly. 

“Stay away from them. They’re trouble. Trust me.”

“Oh, Gareth!”

“Yeah?”

“Football, I got the grant because of how I play football.”

Gareth’s face illuminated itself in a second. He engulfed a scared Fábio in his arms.

“Man, you and I are going to be great friends!”

 

Leo and Cristiano

 

“What’s with the sad face? Cheer up man! Your best friend is back!”

Cristiano smiled genuinely at Leo and took him in his arms.

“Finally! I had been here for a fucking a week.”

“A week? What the hell where you doing?”

Cristiano sighed.

“My father ditched me, as usual, and he decided I was better off here.”

“Well, the bad is over now. Just the best lies ahead of us.”

“How were your holydays?” 

“Great! Capri, California then Rosario. Parties, girls, the usual. But I am truly happy to be back man.”

“Yeah, I’m happy to have you back too.”

“Great, then stop moping and let’s see if the others have arrived. They were all coming in today.”

Mesut and Silva

 

“Man, another year here.”

“You say it like it’s torture.”

Mesut smiles ironically at Silva.

“Well, it’s not exactly paradise. This place is the confirmation that material wealth does not make you happy.”

“Oh my god, you’re a philosopher now?”

“I’m just not looking forward to seeing the “kings of the school”. I’m pretty good without them.”

Silva sighs.

“We all are man but it is what it is. Maybe this year they’ll ignore us?”

Mesut snorted.

“We won’t be that lucky Silva.”

“Did you talk to Kaká?”

“Nope, why? Should I have?”

“Not specially. It’s just that after how everything ended last year...”

Mesut sighed.

“Look, I love Kaká to death, okay? But he got what was coming to him. He knew he shouldn’t have gotten involved with him, we told him everyday and he still did. He broke his heart! What a surprise!” 

Silva looks harshly at Mesut who is now rolling his eyes.

“Don’t be like that! We all make mistakes, you shouldn’t be so harsh.”

“I am not trying to be harsh but if he was old enough to get in that shit, he’ll be old enough to go on this year.”

 

With Fernando and Cesc

 

“So this is it.”

They are both looking at the grandiosity of the school.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have come.”

“Too late.”

Cesc looks at his childhood friend and starts walking. Fernando doesn’t follow.

“What are you waiting for?”

“I’m scared.”

Cesc sighed. 

“Me too man but remember why we’re here. It’s about football.”

Fernando smiles.

“Everything is always about football, isn’t it?”

Cesc tries to decipher the hidden meaning behind that sentence but before he can find an answer Fernando is already at the doors.

 

With Xabi and Álvaro

 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to room together this year.”

If looks could kill, Álvaro would be dead right now. Xabi had come storming into his new room demanding an explanation.

“We have roomed together forever. Why the hell not this year?”

Álvaro looks down and whispers:

“You know why.”

Xabi sighs exasperated.

“Look, it doesn’t matter what has happened with them. You are my best friend. I am not ditching you because of you not being with us anymore. Don’t ditch me because of it.”

“I am doing it for you! You know how they are Xabi. They could make it harder for you.”

“They won’t. Trust me. Now stop this nonsense, gather your things and come home.”

Álvaro reluctantly obeys while thinking that he has really got himself a great friend.

 

With Kaká and Rooney

 

“Ricardo! My favorite Brazilian!”

Kaká smiles his chewing-gum ad smile and goes to his noble friend.

“How was your summer?”

“Great! I spent the whole summer playing football with friends and family.”

“That’s amazing man. Mine was pretty relaxing too.”

Wayne looks at his friend almost scared before asking:

“How are you? I mean, after what happened...”

Kaká sighs and sits up on the bed.

“Don’t look at me as if I just found out Santa Claus doesn’t exist. You can say it, you know? It’s not taboo.”

“Do you regret it?”

“I regret letting him play me for so long. That’s the only thing I regret.”

“I don’t judge you, you know? Sometimes he seemed... sincere. I can see why you would have believed him.”

Kaká laughs loudly at that. 

“He wasn’t in love with me. If I had looked at him for more than two seconds without being so hypnotized, I would have known.”

“Don’t be like that. I’m sure he cared, he just didn’t have the courage it takes.”

Kaká smiles sadly at Wayne.

“That’s what I told myself every day but it wasn’t true Wayne. Did he care? Yeah, he just didn’t care enough.”

“How do you know?”

Kaká looks through the open door and see Gareth walking by with some new guy with a weird hair. 

“Because now I know that when it’s real, you can’t walk away.”

 

With Iker and Sergio

 

“Oh god, really! I thought by now you would have come back to your normal self.”

Iker sighed looking at his old friend.

“This is my normal self Sergio, just a more mature one.”

Sergio snorts.

“Mature? You didn’t have a problem with any of them until you had that big discussion with Álvaro! You two have not been able to solve it in months so don’t you come talking about maturity.”

“You can’t understand.”

Sergio shot up from his bed like a resort.

“Of course not! I never understand anything, right? I’m good to play PlayStation with and going to parties but to actually understand something? Sergio is the idiotic one! Everyone knows that.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me is that maybe, just maybe, I would understand if you ever told me anything but you don’t Iker.”

“Calm down. Look, it’s not a big deal. We don’t have the same group of friends anymore, so what? It doesn’t change a thing between us.”

Sergio chuckled sadly.

“You’re the one that doesn’t understand. It changes everything Iker! How the hell could it not change everything? I think it’s better if I room up with Leo and Cris. I’m sure they have a place for me.”

Iker looks at his childhood friend with incredulity.

“Are you ditching me?”

Sergio looks at his friend sadly before adding:

“No, you ditched me Iker.”

Then walks away. 

 

In one of the common rooms

 

“That’s it! The presentations are over.”

Gareth smiles and takes a place next to Fernando.

“I’m glad there are new people. I was getting tired of you!”

Says Mesut to Silva who smacks his arm lightly in response. 

“I am glad we have been received that well.”

Wayne snorts at that.

“Yeah? Then enjoy it because tomorrow you won’t be that welcomed here.”

“What is he talking about?” asks Cesc. 

“The so called “kings of the school”. They give us a hard time because we’re not rich like them. At best they’ll act as if you don’t exist; at worst, they’ll make your life a living hell.” Answers Silva. 

“As I said to Fábio, just stay clear of them.” Adds Gareth looking at Kaká who shifts in an uncomfortably.

 

With the rich guys in the private common room of their floor

 

“School is baaaaaaaaack bitches!”

Cristiano looks exasperated at Marcelo and Neymar who are dancing as five years old who got too much sugar. 

“Relax guys, are you already high or what?”

“You’ve been away for too long Leo. Don’t you remember it’s their natural being?”

“Robin! You look good man!”

“Holland does that to you. Where is Villa? I’ve missed my roommate!”

Cristiano smiles before answering.

“Say his name and the devil appears.”

“Have you missed me?”

Robin and Villa hug each other while Sergio, Neymar and Marcelo imitated them. Leo is smirking at the prospect of a new year while Cristiano seems lost in his thoughts. Xabi looks down wishing there could go back to a year ago when everything was still perfect. A similar wish saddens the heart of Iker and Álvaro while they wait for tomorrow. 

At the moment they can’t even begin to imagine the transformation they’ll suffer this year. The change starts tomorrow but, right now, tomorrow is still far away.


	2. Maybe it won't be so bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gareth and Kaká rekindle an old friendship. 
> 
> Cristiano, on the other hand, makes a new friend.

In Gareth and Fábio’s room 

 

“Do we really have to wear this?” Asks Fábio pointing at the suit carelessly thrown over his bed, a gesture that made Gareth laugh happily. 

“Yes, we do. You should be careful with that thing, here image is very important. It won’t give a good impression if you go around with a totally wrinkled suit.”

Fábio looks at Gareth as if he was a medieval elf. Who cared about image? He, for sure, didn’t. Not in the slightest bit. Life had taught him that what was on the outside wasn’t necessarily the reflection of what was in the inside. In fact, the image was often used to hide what was truly on the inside. 

Until that moment, Fábio hadn’t paid much attention to the way his roommate looked. Hair carefully cut and styled with gel, perfect suit, brilliant shoes; he obviously was careful about his appearance. Fábio had never found it in him to do so. 

“I should have known you wouldn’t care a lot about image just by looking at you.”

Fábio would have looked offended but Gareth was perfectly right. His hair, of a dubious color, was pointing in every direction possible; his suit –still on the bed- looked allergic to irons and his bracelet and ring –some very personal and meaningful objects- clashed a bit with everything else.

“Just put on your suit man, it’s a rule.”

“Why?”

Fábio didn’t really like rules; he was used to do whatever he wanted. That’s what you get when you grow up pretty much in the streets. 

“Establishment’s politics. They say the uniform is a way to make us all equal and not create a wedge between the rich students and the others.”

“But you told me yesterday it wouldn’t matter.”

Gareth laughed loudly at his friend’s innocence.

“Of course it won’t matter! Your economic condition doesn’t show only in your clothes; it shows in your behavior, in your holydays, in the way the teachers treat you, even in the way you eat!”

“In the way you eat?”

“They always let their plates almost full while us devour them like there is not tomorrow. You know how it is. It’s a reflex.”

Fábio nods at Gareth. He knew, deep inside, he’ll be poor all his life even if he ended up getting the jackpot and he was pride of it. He valued things. 

“But it looks good on the prospect to say shit about the uniforms. Just put it on Fábio; you’ll have enough problems without looking for them, believe me.   
A knock on the door interrupts the conversation. Black hair shines through. 

“Hey Fábio! Do you mind if I just talk to Gareth alone for a minute?”

Fábio looks at Gareth on instinct and see the strange expression in his friend’s face. He doesn’t look too happy about the idea but who is he to say so? He doesn’t know a thing about the dynamics between them so he nods then takes his wrinkled suit and leaves the two of them to do their little talking. 

Gareth sighs and sits on his bed waiting for Kaká to talk. 

“Are you going to behave like this for long?”

“To behave like what?”

“Passive aggressive.”

Gareth snorts at Kaká’s comment and kicks the rubbish bin in front of him. 

“I think I’m doing pretty well, thanks. Most of people wouldn’t even talk to you if they were me.”

Kaká sighs deeply and takes a place next to Gareth who doesn’t bulge. 

“I am sorry, okay? I was blinded and I didn’t think straightly. I fucked up, but can’t you forgive me?”

“You hurt me pretty bad.”

“Yes and I am apologizing Gareth. I can’t do anything more. I already got punished enough, didn’t I?”

Gareth looked at his friend with disbelief written all over his face. 

“Do you really think I was happy that you ended up with a broken heart? I wanted you happy moron! With my broken heart it was enough.”

Kaká looks down guiltily. 

“I know I realized it too late Gareth but I do care about you, a lot.”

Gareth turns his head and looks through the window.

“Then it’s a shame that while I cared about you a lot, all you cared about was him. You ditched me Kaká, you ditched me for a guy who didn’t even assume you in public.”

Kaká shuts his eyes tightly at the painful memory. 

“So you don’t care anymore?”

“We can be friends. I’d like for us to be friends again but don’t ask for more. You had it and you didn’t want it.”

Kaká nods and quickly draws a forced smile before extending his hand.

“Then friends it is. I’d love to have my friend back.”

Gareth looks at his hand before laughing and engulfing him in a giant hug. Well, thought Kaká, things were already looking better than last year.

 

Somewhere in the school... 

 

This place is too fucking huge, thought Fábio. He was looking for his classroom with hours in advance –classes didn’t begin until later- because he knew he wouldn’t find it. That stupid suit was the most uncomfortable thing ever and his new life was, already, getting on his nerves. 

“Are you lost?”

Fábio turned around in order to see a taller boy looking at him with a mixture of apprehension and pity. 

“Are you mute or something?”

Well, thought Fábio, not until five seconds ago. The creature in front of him was striking. He was damn beautiful.

“Sorry, yes I’m kind of lost. I’m new here.”

The other boy smiled at him with understanding written all over his face.

“I’m Cristiano.” He said while offering his hand.

“Nice too meet you Cristiano. My name’s Fábio.”

When they shook hands, Cristiano could feel some kind of electricity going through him. It was a weird and exciting sensation all at the same time. He didn’t know if it was an invitation or a warning. 

“What are you looking for Fábio?”

For a moment Fábio forgot about the classroom and took the question literally. He was ready to tell Cristiano his dream life on the spot until his brain, his lazy brain, took the control back.

“Hmm 407.”

“So you’re a year younger than I am. 407 is at the end of the second corridor on your left.”

Fábio seemed lost in his thoughts.

“What are you doing here all alone?”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, I know we’ve know each other for a minute and I just know your name and age but isn’t it a bit weird Cristiano? Classes don’t start for at least two hours and there is nobody here but you.”

Cristiano looked at Fábio without knowing how to respond. Normally he would have sent him to hell but he felt a certain kind of trust towards him. Maybe it was because he looked a bit like Sonic. Cristiano loved that game when he was little; it was his favorite. If you turned the blond into blue, this guy would totally look like Sonic. What the hell was he thinking?

“I’m not going through the best days of my life.”

“Why?”

“Are you always this forward with strangers?”

Fábio shrugged at Cristiano. He hadn’t really thought about it, he didn’t really care either. 

“You didn’t answer my question. Do you always avoid answering questions?”

Cristiano snorted at the question. That guy was unbelievable. Did he know whom he was talking to? No, of course he didn’t. He was such a fresh air in Cristiano’s day.

“Okay, I’ll answer your question. My parents just ignore me, my friends are idiots and my girlfriend and best friend don’t give a fuck as long as I’m still fun to be around.”

“You must have something good in your life, someone worthy.”

Cristiano smiles sadly at the memory.

“I did but I lost him.”

Fábio smiled sympathetically at Cristiano. 

“What? No more question? No judgments about it?”

Fábio shrugged once again, it seemed to be his favorite gesture. 

“We all fuck up sometimes. You’re not that special Cristiano.”

Cristiano smiles at the younger and crazy boy in front of him.

“What about you?”  
“My father is dead, my older brother is in prison, my best friend back home is a drug addict and my girlfriend ditched me because I was –and I quote- “a lazy ass who would never get anywhere.”

“Now I feel bad for venting my problems to you.”

Fábio smiled warmly.

“Don’t. I get by. It can always be worst so we should never complain too much but it could always be better so we shouldn’t be too conformist either.”

“Look at you, a true philosopher.

He shrugs again before looking at his vibrating phone.

“I have to go. Thanks for the indications.”

The boy started walking away leaving an astonished Cristiano behind when, suddenly, he turned around and added still walking:

“Oh, and Cristiano, sometimes we loose good things and it sucks but maybe something much better is waiting for us just around the corner. Keep that in mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, are you seeing any clearer now?
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, let me know!


	3. What the hell is wrong with this place?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people are very troubled in this story, aren't they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you begin to read, I'd like to ask you for patience. This story has a lot of characters and it's going to take sometime to put all the dynamics in place.

One hour more of peace, thought Mesut as he strolled down the corridors. One more hour before another school year begins. He had almost refused to come back. Almost. He had spent his whole summer gathering the courage to do so. It was his life after all and it was a happier life back home than here. He had convinced himself he would do it, but he didn’t. 

He still remembered that day. He had went to the living room in order to talk to his parents and he had been met with his father’s face. He was reading a letter from the school, a letter in which Mesut was depicted as a real promise of football; one of the stars of tomorrow. If you had seen his face, you would have stayed silent just like Mesut did. He was so proud; Mesut could read all the emotions over his face: the hope of a better life for his son, the love he felt at the moment, the relief... Mesut knew his future was one of the few reasons that made him bear a life of suffering and hard work. He couldn’t take that away form him. He wasn’t entitled to do so.

So he smiled at his father and acted as if this school was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Just three years ahead of him, he thought. If his father could go through hell all of his life, he could do this. 

A strong hand around his neck interrupted his train of thoughts in order to take him back to his own reality.

“Look whom we’ve got here! Have you missed me turkish boy?”

Sergio Ramos. Who else? He had spent last year making a living hell of Mesut’s life. Of course he would continue to do it.

“I am German.”

He fisted his hair and laughed hard before answering. 

“You’re a faggot. Doesn’t matter which country you’re from, faggot.”

The next thing he felt was a kick the ribs. He didn’t try to defend himself anymore. He knew, by experience, it was useless. 

“You don’t say anything? Oh, I knew you had missed me.”

Another kick. It would be over soon. Mesut repeated that mantra in his head over and over again in order to endure the torture he was going through. He thought it would last forever but a ball of energy just shot through the corridor and took Sergio to the floor with him. What the hell was going on, thought Mesut?

He could not really make sense of what was happening in front of his eyes but he could see two boys fighting harshly. A smaller boy, whose rage compensated its apparent lack of strength, was defying Sergio. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are?!”

“No, who do you think you are? You can’t go around hitting people!”

Sergio cleaned the blood of his nose with his shirt while breathing as a wounded bull.

Mesut’s perspective wasn’t the best since he was still on the floor but he knew he had never seen Sergio as angry. No one, ever, had dared defied Sergio Ramos. 

“I am Sergio Ramos!”

“So? I am Fábio Coentrao and I don’t go around kicking people if they don’t give me any reason to!”

Sergio drew on his face a smile of contained rage that scared Mesut to shit. He looked at him and added:

“Who is this? You’re new lover faggot? You don’t know what you just got yourself into Fábio. I am going to make sure that your life here is complete hell. You’ll be crying and asking for your mother before you know it.”

“Oh, really? I’m fucking waiting for it Sergio.”

Sergio threw a last menacing glance at Fábio before disappearing into the corridor. 

“Are you okay?”

Fábio asked as he helped Mesut to his feet. 

“Are you crazy? Why did you just do that?!”

The blond looked at the German is if he was the crazy one. Something was definitely off in this school.

“Excuse me? I just saved your ass!”

“I know, I know. I am very grateful for that Fábio but now they’ll do to you what he was doing to me every chance they get.”

“Who is “they”?

“Sergio and his friends.”

Fábio sighed loudly.

“Oh god, I haven’t been here for a day and I am already tired of those fucking mysterious guys. They are powerful, so what? You let them go around torturing you? What the hell is wrong with you? React man!”

“It’s the way it is.”

“My ass! What he was doing to you is not normal Mesut. Do you get that? It is not right and it won’t get right, doesn’t matter how many times he does it.”

“I though you were shy and laid back.”

Fábio smiled for the first time in the conversation.

“I am but I also have a very short temper. The streets do that to you.”

“Did you live in the streets?”

Mesut didn’t have a good situation but he had always had food and a roof to sleep under. He was grateful for it.

“It’s complicated.”

The German didn’t press further.

“Well Fábio, your life here isn’t going to be any less violent now. Trust me.”

Fábio shrugged at Mesut.

“Then I hope you’ll come to my defense as I came to yours.”

“How did you do it man? I tried last year but he’s so strong.”

Fábio turned around and looked at Mesut horrified.

“Last year? Are you implying he has been beating you up since last year?”

Mesut looked down ashamed.

“Don’t be too fast to judge. Here it’s complicated too.”

Fábio felt exasperated but didn’t ask more questions.

“You didn’t answer. How did you do it? You’re so much tinnier than him.”

“So? It’s not the strongest that wins the fight.”

“Oh yeah? And who is it then?”

“The one less afraid. The one ready to go farther. The one who believes the reason he’s fighting for is more important than his security.”

“And I am more important to you than your security?”

Fábio smiled at Mesut.

“Of course not, I haven’t even known you for a day! But the fight was unfair and I don’t like injustice.” 

Mesut stayed glued to his spot as he watched Fábio. He had just saved him. His own brand new superhero. 

“Let’s go to class before anything else can happen. I’ve had enough emotions for today.”

 

“What the hell, be careful man!”

A very stressed Silva yelled at the guy who had just crashed with him. He was late! He should have listened to Fábio when he offered to go looking for the room. He had thought he would know having been here for a year but this place was so damn big.

“Oh, it’s Bambi! How are you Bamby? Missed me?”

Silva would have recognized that voice anywhere. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you Mr Villa.”

“Good boy. I see you’ll be obedient this year Bambi.”

As he said so, Villa passed his hand through Siva’s hair carefully before pulling it tightly. 

“I’m sure we’ll have so much fun.”

His other hand sneaked around Silva’s waist when the bell rang.

“Oh, what a shame. We don’t want to be late on our first day now, do we?”

Silva shook his head vehemently.

“We will have plenty of time for... funnier business.” 

Saved by the bell, thought Silva.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what's up with this place? I'd say it's a real fucked up one.


	4. The Status Quo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are having a pretty intense first day of school. 
> 
> Mesut's crush…  
> Kaká's past lover…   
> Cris' father…  
> Fábio being Fábio  
> Xabi and Álvaro…   
> Silva and Villa…
> 
> Too many things going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is an extra long chapter. I hope you'll like to read it as much as I enjoyed writing it :) 
> 
> Things are speeding up!

THE LITTLE ONES

 

“What the hell happened to you?” Asked Gareth when Mesut approached the classroom. 

“Nothing important.”

Gareth disapproved shaking his head.

“It’s been only a day and you’re already in physical pain. Who was it?”

Mesut looked up and did something totally unexpected; he smiled. 

“It doesn’t matter because Fábio saved my sorry ass.”

Gareth felt his eyes growing bigger. He hadn’t identified his new roommate as the type to strike up a fight. 

“I didn’t think he had it in him.”

Mesut shrugged. 

“I guess we’ve still got a lot to discover about the new guys.”

“Am I late?”

Both turned around to see an exhausted Silva. The poor boy looked like he had just ran a marathon in order to make it in time.

“There are still five minutes left. Why were you running?”

“N-n-no reason. I took just too much time to eat.”

Mesut snorted at his friend’s words. 

“Yes, because we all know you eat so much. I mean, look at you! We’ll have to put you on a diet soon man.”

Gareth sighed. Something was off about their friend.

“You sure you’re alright? You look... scared.”

Silva smiled hoping to hide his nervousness. 

“You’re seeing things.”

Things were already so weird for a first day, thought Gareth as the trio made their way to their tables. 

Mesut took his place beside Silva while Gareth found Fábio on the last row of seats, next to a window.

“You’re allergic to front rows?”

Fábio smirked at his new friend.

“I have rules man. I always sit next to a window or a door and with enough distance to react.”

Gareth snorted as he sat next to the blond.

“This is school you know, not war.”

Fábio looked at Gareth with a threatening intensity before answering:

“Are you sure?”

The entrance of the school owner in the room cut short their conversation. Mr Florentino Pérez was a very rich and well known man, this school was one of the ways he used to establish contacts with the most powerful men on earth. All the students stood up in front of him, the new ones soon caught up with the procedure to follow.

“Gentlemen, I am very honored to receive you here at the Elite Way Academy for this new course. Some of you already know me; I shall still present myself to the new elements of the school. I am Florentino Pérez, owner of the institution and, as every year, I am very pleased to be here today. 

I will not bore you with a long speech; you already have a lot of things to do. I want to remind you that what we expect from you is great academic results as well as other skills. This reminds me that we start our sports clubs in two days, be ready for it as you know it’s very important for this Academy. 

I wish you good luck and hope we can achieve one more year in peace and excellence, as the family we are. I will now leave you to your principal teacher, Mr Mourinho. “

The crowd erupted in unnatural applauses and forced cheers. See? Thought Fábio, what you say and what you show may be a total different thing from what you indeed think and are. One big happy family? Some dysfunctional family they’ve got themselves there. 

“Oh shit, we got Mourinho. The special one.” Gareth whispered to Fábio who looked at him surprised.

“The special one?”

“The guy thinks he’s God on earth or something. He acts like this is some military Academy. Just don’t disapprove him man. Ever. On the good side, he treats everybody the same; at least when they let him do so.” 

Great, thought Fábio. The year ahead of him was looking better by the minute. 

A man with greyish hair and hard expression walked in.

“Fine. Let’s talk about serious matters now. To you I am Mr Mourinho. You will respect me, listen to me and strictly obey me. I won’t give you problems if you don’t ask for them. You’re fifteen already, sixteen in some cases –Mourinho paused to look at a very embarrassed Arbeloa who discreetly ducked his head under his arms-, it’s time you start behaving like men. History book, page 5 gentlemen.”

The class, thought Fábio, was a long and boring list of words he carefully chose to ignore. When the final bell rang, hours later, he felt the happiest he had been in a while. Without waiting for anyone, he just strolled out of the classroom. That’s when he realized a young German student was following him.

“What are you doing?”

Mesut looked at him as a kid caught eating candy between meals.

“I thought I could come with you.”

Mesut instantly felt himself reddening at the subtle implications of the sentence. 

“You don’t even know where I’m going.”

Mesut shrugged. Truth to be told, he didn’t really care where Fábio was going. 

“I’m sure you can use some company. You’re still new here after all.” 

Fábio didn’t really know how to respond to that. 

“Hey guys! Want to play some football?”

Fábio’s head instantly picked up at the mention of “football.” Gareth would really become a good friend of his. 

“Sure man! Football’s always first!”

Mesut looked a bit disappointed but he recovered easily. He got to play with Fábio after all; it was a start.

 

THE BIGGER ONES

 

“So, exercises 6, 7, 8 and 9 for tomorrow.”

Cristiano snorted while Leo made comical gestures to their teacher.

“Oh, come on Mr Ancelotti! That’s way too much! It’s our first day!”

“You’re not kids anymore. Get out of my hair. I have seen enough from you already.”

The boys reluctantly obeyed and left the classroom.

“Okay guys, let’s go beat the crap out of him.”

“Wow Sergio, relax man; it’s been a day!” Says Robin smirking.

“That little shit lacked of respect to me.”

Leo turned around and made a reverence in front of Sergio.

“And what do you want us to do about it, your majesty?” 

“He needs a lesson.”

Cristiano sighed exasperated.

“Who do you think we are Sergio? We don’t go around beating up people. We’re not the Lodge man.”

“You say it’s a new kid?” Asked Villa with his usual sibylline smirk. Sergio nodded energetically. 

“Maybe we should teach him his place now Cris. He could become uncontrollable if we don’t.”

Cristiano rolled his eyes.

“I am too tired for this.”

“What’s wrong with you man? You don’t like having fun anymore?”

“I’m not saying we shouldn’t make fun of people and prank them but I’m not beating up anyone.”

“Cristiano, have you got a moment?” Mr. Ancelotti asked appearing among the boys. 

“Your father wishes to talk to you, he is waiting on the phone.”

Cristiano followed his teacher to the office where he was left alone so he could have some privacy. 

 

Cristiano’s daddy issues

 

“Hello?”

“Son! How are you?”

Cristiano snorted.

“Now I’m your son? That’s fun. A week ago I was just a dead weight for you to carry around.”

“Cristiano! Respect me.”

“Yes father.” 

“How was your first day?”

His first day, thought Cristiano, since when did his father care?

“Normal. What do you want father?”

“Can’t I just show some interest about my son life?”

Without any hidden purpose? It would be nice, thought Cristiano, but highly unlikely. 

“Look, I am sorry about this summer. I was stressed and I didn’t want to pass my stress on you. Anyway, I’ll be paying you a visit next week.”

“Next week? Why?”

“I need a little favor Cris.”

Cristiano smirked. Of course his father wanted a little favor, why else would have he called? That was his father; he was reminded of others only when he needed something out of them.

“Go ahead.”

“I need to give a good family image to the press. The campaign has already begun. It’s important the press sees my beloved son. They’ll ask you some questions about our family life and your own experience at the school. I’ll tell you what to answer.”

“And if I don’t want to?”

He could hear the snort of his father on the other side of the phone. 

“I give you everything you want Cristiano. I pay your bills. I send you to one of the best schools instead of to a military Academy; I even let you waste your time on that stupid sport of yours. Show a little gratitude, will you?”

Any other person wouldn’t have perceived the subtle threat hidden in the sentence but, having known his father since he was born, Cristiano got perfectly what he really meant. 

He better obeyed because things could be much worse for him than they were. His comfortable life could become much harder. Cristiano had learned to not confront power directly; you always loose.

“I am grateful father. I’ll do whatever you ask.”

He could practically feel his progenitor smiling. 

“That’s my son. You know Cristiano, you and I are much more alike than you want to believe.”

“Really? How so father?”

“We stop at nothing to get what we want, do we? I’ll see you next week. Behave until then.”

Cristiano slowly put the phone back in place thinking about his father’s words. Was he like his father? The truth was he didn’t even know if that was a very good or very bad thing. 

 

The past always comes back to knock

 

Cristiano was still thinking about the conversation he just had with his father when he bumped into someone in the corridor. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking.”

When he looked up to see to whom he had offered his hand in order to get him up, his heart sped up. 

“No problem.” Answered shakily Kaká. 

It had been two months since the last time they had actually been face to face. Both had a very vivid memory of the occasion. It had been the last day of school and a big party had been thrown. 

 

“Are you kidding me? You didn’t even stand up for me!”

Cristiano had never seen Kaká yelling. The Brazilian was the calmest guy he had ever met. Tonight, however, he was on the verge of hysteria.

“What did you want me to do?”

Kaká looked at Cristiano with despair written all over his face.

“I wanted you to come to my rescue! I wanted you to stop them! I wanted you to say that I matter to you!”

“But you already know that. You know that you matter to me.”

“It’s not enough anymore.”

Kaká approached Cristiano and pointed his finger at his chest.

“You’ve done whatever you’ve wanted out of me and I’ve let you! I have lost my best friend because of you. I have distanced myself from my friends for you. Is it too much of me to ask for you to assume me in front of your friends?”

Cristiano looked down ashamed.

“I never forced you to do those things.”

Kaká smiled the saddest smile of his life.

“You’re right. You didn’t have to. I did it because I love you. That’s the problem Cris.”

“I do love you too.”

Kaká snorted.

“Really? Do you really, Cris? If you loved me, you would have done something about it.”

It was Cristiano’s turn to be angry now.

“Oh, come on! Then what Ricardo? We would have been happily ever after and all of our friends would go have a drink together? Sure! Then our parents would celebrate our relationship and become great friends. Who are you kidding?”

Kaká looked more pained by the minute.

“You know things don’t work like that. I didn’t make up the status quo Ricardo.”

“No, but you accept and respect it.”

“So do you! I wanted to come clean in the beginning and you stopped me! Don’t you remember that?”

A tear made its way on Kaká’s face. A tear because of the chances they had lost. A tear because of the friendships they had broken. A tear because of the sound his heart was making while breaking.

“It is true. We both have embraced the status quo for as long as we’ve been here. It’s the easy thing to do, isn’t it?”

“What are you talking about now?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over Cris.”

Cristiano took Kaká’s face between his hands and looked at him with pleading eyes.

“Don’t do this. Please, you’re everything I’ve got. Don’t do this.”

“I deserve better Cris. I am sure someone will come one day and give you what you really need. I really hope one day you’ll love someone enough to defy the status quo but, obviously, that person is not me.”

 

Walking away from Cristiano that day had been the hardest thing Kaká had ever done in his life. It had been hard to think about it and it was still hard to see the boy that broke his heart. 

Cristiano didn’t really know what to say. That day had also been very difficult on him. Kaká was the first person to really care about him, he could tell. They both held each other’s stare for a while before slowly parting ways. 

 

What’s wrong with you?

 

After the game Silva found himself being dragged apart by Gareth.

“Spill.” 

Silva looked at his friend with a pair of big and innocent eyes. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Gareth rolled his eyes.

“Look, this can go down two ways. You can tell me straight forward what’s the problem or I can get it out of you trough a long and painful interrogatory. Your choice; do you want to spare us some time or not?”

Silva sighed.

“It’s Villa.”

Gareth turned around and threw a fist into the wall.

“What has he done this time?”

“N-n-nothing, the usual.”

“You need to do something Silva. You should tell someone.”

“Who, Gareth? His father is one of the richest men in Europe and he works with Pérez. I don’t stand a chance.”

Gareth sighed.

“Mourinho or Ancelotti?”

“What can they do? In the end he’ll win. They always win.”

“Well, we can’t keep on doing anything for much longer!”

Silva shook his head. 

“He’s not dangerous anyways. He just likes to scare me and play around but he hasn’t actually ever done anything.”

“Until now! But what if he wants more, huh? What if he goes further?” 

“He won’t.”

 

YOU’RE TROUBLE

 

“You don’t play bad.”

Fábio, who was making his way back to the school after their little game, turned around in order to see the beautiful stranger he had encountered some hours ago.

“Not bad? I play great.”

Cristiano snorted in disbelief.

“And they say I am cocky. You’re a defender, that takes points off.”

Fábio smirked at Cristiano.

“I wanted to be a striker when I was younger.”

Oh, the irony of that, thought Cristiano. 

“What did go wrong?”

Fábio shrugged in his characteristic fashion.

“You don’t choose the cards life gives you. You just play them the best you can.”

“You’re very intense when you play. A ball’s not lost until it is, huh?”

“I am intense; it’s who I am, not the way I do things.”

Cristiano chuckled. The boy was unbelievable. 

“I can see that. There is already a guy wanting to beat you up. That was fast Fábio. One day, I must say you’ve exceeded all of our expectations.”

Fábio took a closer look at Cristiano. He should have known.

“Oh, so you are one of those rich guys who rule the school, huh?”

“I am not one of those guys who rule the school, I am the king of the school.”

Fábio snorted and sat next to Cristiano on the grass.

“Are you always that cocky?”

Cristiano turned his head towards Fábio’s.

“Are you always that impulsive?” 

“You tell me Cristiano. What I am supposed to do when I see a poor boy being beaten up by a stronger one without apparent reason?”

Cristiano frowned for a second, had Sergio been beating up that German guy again? He was obsessed. 

“He is powerful here. Maybe you should have saved your ass.”

Fábio snorted and looked towards the horizon. The sun was already setting itself. 

“So you’re that kind of guy.”

“What kind of guy? Look, do whatever you want man, I don’t give a shit. If you want to go around playing the rebel, that’s your choice.”

Fábio chuckled and moved to sit in front of Cristiano.

“It’s such a shame Cris. I believed you to be so much more but I see you’re just one of them.”

The tiny blond got up and started walking away leaving an angry Cristiano behind. Who the fuck did this kid believe he was? 

“By the way, thanks for the shout out Cris but I perfectly know how to take care of myself.”

Arrogant ass, thought Cristiano. That kid was jus asking for trouble. He shouldn’t have said a thing to him. He didn’t even really know why he had in the first place. 

 

TOO MANY THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW

 

Xabi had never been so nervous in his life. Was he doing the right thing? What if he ended up destroying the best thing in his life? 

He looked like his dog, walking in circles trying to reach his own tail. This wasn’t like him at all. He was a controlled, cold, self-assured guy. He was Xabi Alonso, for god’s sake. His mother was part of the Spanish royal family; his father a powerful industrial. He could ask a boy out. 

The problem was that this wasn’t just any boy. It was his best friend. The guy he shared a room with. It could all go really wrong. When had things become so complicated? It had been easy not that much ago; friends, fun and football. When had love entered the equation? Had he just said the “L” word? 

He stopped walking and sighed. He didn’t know when things changed but they had. What was enough before wasn’t enough anymore. He could get scared but he wouldn’t become the guy that walks away when things get hard, that’s not the man he wanted to become. He took a deep breath and opened the door to his room. 

“We need to talk.”

“More? We’ve been talking all day.”

Xabi strolled into the room and sat up next to Álvaro. 

“I think I am in love with you. I don’t think so, I know so and I’m sorry about it because I may be destroying the best thing that has ever happened to me but I needed to say it.”

Álvaro looks at him with a blank expression. 

“I want for us to be more than friends. I want for us to be more than friends who kiss when they’re drunk. I want a chance for us. It would be nice if you said something.”

Álvaro sighed. 

“I wish you would’ve told me this a few months ago. I’d have jumped in your arms.”

Past tense.

“But now you won’t.”

Álvaro shook his head and Xabi could feel his heart breaking. 

“What has changed?”

Álvaro sighed.

“We can’t be together Xabi.”

“Don’t you feel the same?”

Álvaro brought his hand to Xabi’s face with infinite tenderness and caressed it.

“Of course I do but, sometimes, that’s not enough.”

Xabi put his hand on Álvaro’s and gave him a squeeze. 

“I’ve told you already, I’d fight for you.”

“There are too many things you don’t know. It would break you and I’d never forgive myself if you got hurt because of me.”

Xabi got up and walked towards the door.

“You know, if you didn’t want me you could have just said it.” 

“Xabi, it’s not like that and you know it.”

“I think you were right. It’s better if you go room up with somebody else.”

Álvaro nods and Xabi knows it even if he doesn’t see him do so. He’d love to get up, pull his friend back in the room and kiss him senseless but he couldn’t. Maybe this was what growing up was about, thought Álvaro; maybe it was about doing what you had to do instead of what you wanted to do. 

 

COULD IT BE THE START OF SOMETHING NEW?

 

Would he get some peace finally? That was the question Fábio asked himself upon entering his room after an exhausting day. 

“Gareth man, are you there?” 

“Hi Fábio.”

Fábio almost had a heart attack when he flicked up the lights of his room. Mesut was there, sitting happily on his bed.  
“Hum, are you with Gareth?”

“No, I was looking for you. He told me I could wait for you here.”

Fábio nodded slowly. Mesut seemed like a nice guy but he was getting creepier by the minute.

“May I do something for you?”

Mesut smiled.

“I just wanted to thank you properly for what you did before about Sergio.” 

Fábio sighed and sat up on Gareth’s bed.

“It’s okay man. It was nothing.”

Mesut snorted.

“It was not nothing. You’re the first one to stand up to a guy like that.”

Fábio looked at Mesut and for the first time felt real pity for him and his friends. 

“You can’t keep on letting those guys do whatever they want Mesut.”

“What can we do? They have the power.”

Fábio snorted.

“Then take it back. You don’t ask for power, you fucking take it.”

“It’s not that easy Fábio.”

“Look, I know it’s not easy but what different option there is? You can fight back or just take the blows in silence. Your choice.”

Mesut looked at the new blond totally loved struck. He truly was his hero. 

“Maybe it’s time you start fighting back.”

Mesut and Fábio turn around to see Álvaro standing on their doorway. 

“We didn’t do anything to you man.”

Álvaro chuckled. He probably deserved the fear written all over Mesut’s face, he hadn’t been the nicest guy in the past. 

“Is this your room?” He asked looking at Fábio.

“Half of it, yeah. What do you want man?”

“I need a place to stay. Would you mind?”

Mesut couldn’t keep it together anymore. Was the world going crazy? What was Álvaro Arbeloa doing here?

“Are you kidding?”

“Please.” Insisted Álvaro looking at Fábio. 

“Sure man.”

“What?! Gareth is not going to like this one bit.”

Fábio sighed exasperated at the constant fear of his new fan.

“Then Gareth will say so once he comes.”

 

CONSCIOUSNESS AND SLEEP

 

Cristiano kept turning around in his bed that night. Leo and Sergio were fast asleep; he was still fighting with his covers but most of all, with his brain. The faces of his father, Ricardo and Fábio kept popping up in his mind. 

His father’s face was smiling triumphantly but hard and cold. 

Ricardo’s face was also smiling but the smile was full of tenderness and good intentions. 

That’s when it occurred to Cristiano that Ricardo was exactly the kind of person his father walked over everyday in order to achieve and maintain power. 

He really wanted to sleep. If he tried hard enough, the two faces would melt together and disappear in a strange fog. Fábio’s face, however, wouldn’t leave. 

He had only had two conversations with the boy but they seemed stuck in his brain. Who the hell did he think he was? Nobody had talked to him that way. His face was actually different than the two other faces. He wasn’t smiling. He was looking at him intensely, waiting for him to do something. He felt pressured. The dark eyes of the weird blond challenged his consciousness without rest. Was he the kind of guy the boy had assumed he was? Did he want to be? Oh gosh, why did he care what a poor and arrogant boy had to say about him? 

Cristiano kicked his bed sheets away convincing himself that everything would be back to normal soon enough. The status quo would prevail. He could go back to sleep. What Cristiano didn’t know yet is that his conscience would never go unchallenged anymore; the pair of dark eyes wouldn’t surrender that easily.

 

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”  
― Steve Jobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said in the summary, too many things going on…
> 
> Just so you know, your comments on this story make me so happy so pleas, comment on whatever you want. 
> 
> Next chapter we'll start exploring other dynamics and characters… Leo, we're coming for you!


	5. Do you want things to change? Change them!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An insight into Messi and Cris' "love" lives. 
> 
> The first step to a brand new start. 
> 
> People falling in love.

MESSI & NEYMAR

"What are you doing?"

Upon hearing those words, Neymar felt like a kid caught breaking his mom's favorite vase. 

"Going to sleep?"

Leo's face passed from surprised to hard in a few seconds. He could easily become a very scary person, thought Neymar. 

"Since when do you go to sleep in my bed? You've got your own bed, haven't you?"

Neymar could feel himself becoming red as a tomato. 

"I thought that since we've been seeing each other this summer and we just had sex, I could..."

He didn't dare to end the sentence. Leo's expression dissuaded him from it. Apparently he had thought wrongly. Then, suddenly, Leo started to laugh.

"You thought that we would cuddle and hold hands? Those kids are more stupid every year."

He shook his head and sat up in front of Neymar.

"You're an okay fuck and it's fun. That's it. Got it? We're not boyfriends or anything that could come near that category. Once I've fucked you, you gather your things and you get out of my hair. Am I clear?"

Neymar nodded automatically, his blood frozen. He slowly gathered his clothes up and got to the door. The only goodbye he got was a hard tap on his ass. 

MESSI & CRISTIANO

"What did you do the kid? He looked broken."

Leo laughed as Cris entered their room.

"We fucked. Can you believe he wanted to sleep in my bed?"

Cristiano looked at Leo and shook his head. Yes, he could believe it. Outside, in the real world, it wasn't that crazy to want to sleep with the person you had just fucked. In Leo's world, however, it was a totally different story and Cris knew so. 

"Don't be so hard on the kid. He's star struck. You're his idol."

"You mean like you do with Marcelo?"

"I don't do anything with Marcelo."

Leo laughed.

"Oh yes, you do. You know he is completely infatuated with you. You string him along."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do. You're nice to him and when you're really down, you go and fuck him because he's the easiest option."

"It happened one time."

"Once is enough when the other guy is in love with you."

Cristiano sighed. Leo could get on his nerves very easily some times. 

"Oh and fucking him all the time is better? I'm not stupid Leo, you've been hitting it with Neymar since the end of last year."

"It's different."

"Yeah, it's worse."

Leo went to Cristiano and looked at him in the eyes.

"I don't lie. He knows it is just sex. I've never promised him anything else. There isn't any tenderness that could misguide him about my feelings. He comes willingly knowing perfectly what's there for him."

Leo's eyes were hard on him; Cristiano recognized perfectly that stare, the stare of "I'm telling you the truth whether you like it or not." He hated that stare; you could never escape from it. 

"You, on the other hand, fucked things up. With your tenderness and affection you've convinced Marcelo that you feel something for him. So, who's worst Cris?"

"Marcelo was a mistake."

Leo chuckled. 

"Your mistake. Neymar isn't my mistake; in any case, I am his. Let's go to sleep, I am spent and tomorrow the real fun begins. Football man!"

 

NEYMAR & MARCELO

"What's with the sad face bro?"  
Neymar could hear the genuine worry in his friend's voice.

"Nothing important."

"Oh, come on. Everything that makes you sad is important."

Neymar almost smiled, almost. 

"I've been sleeping with Leo since the summer."

Marcelo chuckled.

"No, really?! Tell me something I don't know man."

Neymar sighed.

"He doesn't want to sleep with me. He doesn't want to hold my hand. He doesn't want to kiss me in public. The sex is always harsh and egoist. It's always about his pleasure, you know?"

Marcelo nodded; he loved Leo but he wasn't the best candidate for a love interest.

"I'm not asking for him to love me but I'd like a bit of appreciation sometimes."

"Maybe you should leave him, don't you think?"

Neymar snorted. 

"I should but I can't. I am totally hooked up on him. One hour in a closet with him is better than ten romantic dates with anybody else."

Neymar shook his head tiredly while Marcelo put his hand around his back in a comforting gesture. 

"I am crazy for a guy who treats me like shit. How that pathetic does that make me?"

"It doesn't make you pathetic, it makes you human. I feel you man, I do and I promise you I'll never judge you."

 

ARBELOA, GARETH & FÁBIO

"Why would we let you in?"

"I need a room, you've got one."

Gareth snorted at the detachment in Álvaro's voice. 

"Not even three months ago you hated us. What's changed? You need new friends now that you don't have the old ones anymore? Has your beloved Xabi let you down?"

Álvaro sighed and decided to drop the arrogant attitude.

"Look, I know it's hard to believe but I'm not very proud of how I've acted in the past. I was a fucked up and I know it. I want to start anew but, you know what? I get it man. If I was you, I would totally throw me out."

Álvaro was already exiting the room when Fábio's voice stopped him.

"Hey, could you wait outside the room for a second? I need to talk to my roommate in private."

Álvaro felt a bit of hope growing inside his belly. 

"Sure man, no problem."

Once their unexpected guest was outside the room and the door was closed, Fábio started to talk. 

"My best friend is a fuck up but he taught me something important."

"What was it?"

"People deserve second chances. It's not easy to change so you have to help them do so. Don't make it harder on them, make it easier." 

Gareth sighed and shook his head. 

"You're new here. That guy has been horrible. He is one spoiled brat who wouldn't even give a first chance to most of the people. Why would we give him two?"

"Do you want things to change?"

Gareth nodded.

"Then you can't keep on doing the same thing. It's stupid to do the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Changer yourself and it will change things."

"So I let the wolf into the sheepfold and hope he won't act as a wolf?"

Fábio laughed.

"Stop thinking as a sheep and the wolf will stop being a problem."

Some minutes later the door opened to reveal a very nervous Álvaro. He didn't really want to spend the whole year alone, waiting for it to be over. It was the blonde one who stepped out and stretched his arm towards him offering his hand. Álvaro was a bit surprised, it had been a while since the last time someone offered him a hand. He hesitantly shook it and was surprised at the warmness that spread of Fábio's hand.

"Welcome on board. I have put my trust in you in front of my friends. If you fuck us up I'll personally chase you down, got it?"

Álvaro nodded eagerly and the blonde's head turned immediately in a full smile. 

"Come into your new room man."

IKER & CESC

"Excuse me, do you know where the sport lockers are in this place?"

Iker turned around in order to assess the person who was asking the question. He didn't recognize him. 

"Are you new here?"

"Oh yeah. I'm sorry I forgot to present myself. I'm Francesc Fábregas but everybody calls me Cesc."

"Nice to meet you Cesc. My name is Iker, Iker Casillas."

"That's great Iker."

A long silence followed by. The two boys stood in front of each other looking into the other's eyes. 

"Hey man, have you found it?"

Fernando's voice interrupted the strange encounter and Iker looked like he had finally found his voice again. 

"The sport lockers are behind that building. Nice to meet you Cesc."

Cesc continued to stand in silence, looking the figure of the stranger disappearing in front of him. 

"Are you fine Cesc?"

The boy finally turned towards his best friend.

"Yeah, I'm great. Let's go to the lockers room."

 

Fábio & Kaká

 

"Could you stop it please?"

Kaká looked at Fábio confused. 

"Stop what?"

Fábio smiled and talked with his hands.

"Oh, come on! You're practically drooling over him. I am in the room too you know?"

Kaká blushed. Was he that obvious? He sighed and remembered a time where it was the other way around; everybody would tease Gareth for the way he looked at his roommate. 

Fábio, on the other hand, seemed to be having a lot of fun. 

"You're so smitten man. Why don't you make a move on him?"

Kaká shook his head.

"He only wants to be friends."

Fábio frowned. He had observed the way his roommate looked at the young Brazilian. It hadn't seemed exactly friendly. Those two were too complicated for his taste.

"Keep trying."

“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”  
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild


	6. Cristiano's tragic flaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The school is throwing a big party tonight. 
> 
> Here is the plan: we'll be following different characters through the moments prior to the party and the party itself. This means there will be more than one chapter going through the same day and that we may see the same situation from different points of view. I hope it will work in the end, bear with me during the process.
> 
> In this chapter it's Cristiano we're following. The poor boy didn't have a good day at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer-
> 
> I do know Cristiano never drinks and why he doesn't. This, however, is an alternate world where everything going on is pure fiction. 
> 
>  
> 
> Ps: I am French so "Allez les blues!" but I was so bummed about Portugal's game. My poor babies. A thought for our Fáb who's heading to Madrid tomorrow since he got injured and can't play any of what's left of the world championship. That was way so cruel!

“A story only matters, I suspect, to the extent that the people in the story change.”  
― Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane

 

***

 

Cristiano sighed. He really didn’t want to go through this day. Football was the only positive part of it. 

“You fucking kid!”

He sighed again. Yelling already? They had barely got out of the playfield. He turned his head in order to see an angry Villa pushing away Fábio. The blonde one was, once again, breaking havoc. Did that kid never rest? 

“What the hell is happening here?”

Cristiano had the look that said: don’t fuck with me today, I have enough shit to take anymore.

“The excuse for a human being here thinks we should leave them the playfield.”

Cristiano snorted. Couldn’t the kid respect any rules?

“And why the hell should we do that?”

“We have reserved the field. You’ve been playing for two hours now. It’s our turn. In fact, it’s been since half an hour according to the schedule.”

According to the schedule. He really didn’t understand where he was, did he? Cristiano took the schedule the other one was handing him and shred it to pieces looking into the blonde’s dark eyes with intensity.

“This is our fucking place. We play as long as we want to play. Got it?”

“Why the hell should it be like that?”

He had to chuckle at the boy’s insolence.

“Thinks are just the way they are.”  
“What kind of argument is that? Things are just the way they are until somebody changes them!”

“And it’s going to be you?”

“It may be me or it may be someone else. The fact is that someday you won’t get your way.”

Cristiano had to chuckle at that.

“I’ve got the power.”

“Your father has. You, for the moment, have not done a thing.” 

He was getting angrier by the minute.

“Some things you can’t buy.”

“You’ll learn the rules or I’ll personally chase you down.”

The conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Mourinho. 

“What the hell is going on?”

“We had reserved the field but they keep on playing.”

Mourinho looked back and forth between the two boys. This always happened but it was the first time somebody complained about it.

“Is it true?” He asked looking at Cristiano.

“We never follow the schedule.”

“Well, we do now since someone cares enough to ask us to respect it. Out of the play boys, it’s their turn.”

Cristiano couldn’t believe his ears, was he serious? He wished he could erase the smirk from the blonde’s face. He came so close to him that for anybody on the outside it could only look like two things: a kiss or a battle about to begin; in reality it was a snarl. 

“Watch out Fábio or someone will have to teach you a lesson.”

Everybody in Cristiano’s life would have stepped back at this point. The blonde, however, wasn’t everybody.

“Oh and is that going to be you? I am so scared. What are you going to do? Kill me with hair gel while I’m sleeping.

If Mourinho hadn’t been there, Cristiano didn’t know what he would have done to the blonde. He left the field with his friends; that was the only battle they had lost in a very long time. 

 

***

 

When Cristiano exited his room, his parents were awaiting for him outside. The boy smiled and tightly hugged his mom who gave back as much love; his father, however, watched the scene bored, important things were about to happen and they needed to be ready for it.

“Look at you, you’ve only been gone for a week and a half and you already seem older. You grow up way too fast.”

Cristiano smiled sheepishly at the look on his mother’s face; it was a look full of love. 

“Now that you’ve both gotten emotional, can we just go forward from here?”

Cristiano rolled his eyes in an exasperated way. His gather had barely said a sentence and he already wanted to run away. Sensing his son’s frustration, his mother asked to be left alone with him. She took him by the hand and sat on a nearly bench with him.

“What is the matter?”

Cristiano snorted. 

“What’s not the matter?”

“I know you’re angry that we send you back here a week sooner but your father’s schedule was crazy.”

“Yes, and of course I was the last thing on his schedule.”

His mother sighed.

“I know he’s not easy but he’s not a bad man Cristiano. The years of teenage hood are always hard for the relationship with your parents but, if you send everything to hell now, you’ll regret it one day. You only have a father.”

Thanks to god, thought Cris; one was more than enough.  
“What are you trying to say mom?”

“Be patient. He’s patient with you too sometimes, isn’t he? This is important to him. I know he doesn’t deserve it at the moment but do it for me, would you?”

Cristiano could have never refused. He couldn’t deny his mother; everyone else maybe, but not his mother so he nodded and set himself for the play that was about to happen. 

 

***

 

It had been a very boring afternoon. Photos, faked smiles, compliments about his father. 

“Do you want to be like him when you grow up?”

“Sure! Who else would I want to be?”

Probably anyone. Cristiano, however, couldn’t deny the sense of pride that ran through him seeing his father in front of the media. He had charisma, he had power and when he talked, he couldn’t help but believe him. He did love his father. He did, deep inside, admire him and, even though he wasn’t ready to find out, he was scarred of him. 

The party was finally approaching. He could have fun and forget all about this stupid week. At least that’s what he was hoping for until he saw his father waiting for him outside his bedroom. The day was ending just where it started. 

“Dad? I thought we had finished. The press is gone.”

His father smiled sadly at him.

“I know son but I have something important to tell you.”

Cristiano sat next to him on the very same bench he had shared with his mother earlier.  
“I have hesitated a lot to tell you. I don’t want to destabilize you but I feel you deserve the truth. It wouldn’t be fair to you otherwise.”

Cristiano frowned, what was his father talking about?

“There is a reason why I sent you here one week earlier and it’s not because of the schedule.”

“Then why?”

His father side and took him by the shoulders.

“You must have noticed how distant I have been with your mother lately.”

Had he noticed? His father seemed like a very distant person altogether. It was hard to notice those things.

“Your mother has been cheating Cristiano.”

For the first time of his life Cristiano felt his world crumbling on top of him. It couldn’t be true. Not her. Please let it not be true, he thought. 

“N-n-no.”

“She has been seeing her tennis teacher.”

Cristiano shook his head. It couldn’t be, his life couldn’t look so much like the worst of bad soap operas. 

“You’re lying.”

His father sighed. 

“I know it’s hard to hear but it’s the truth.”  
“Then why have you acted tenderly with her all day?”

“The media were here Cristiano. The elections are a few months ago. I can’t let a scandal explode. She has already taken so much from me, should I let her take this away from me too?”

Cristiano’s head was burning with thoughts. His mother had always be the one to care about this family. She wasn’t perfect, nobody was. She could be shallow at times; she could be weak but a cheater? If his mother, the only person he could truly trust in his life, had gone astray, what could he believe anymore? 

“That’s why she was so adamant to you about helping me. She feels guilty about you hating me for something I’m not responsible for. If I sent you here one week earlier it was to protect you Cristiano.”

So that was it, the boy thought. His mother had a reason to intervene like she had in the morning. 

“Look at me son. It doesn’t matter what happens, I’ll always protect you. I’ll always have your back.”

Cristiano nodded shaken by the news. He let his father hug him and thought that, at least, he did have one person on the planet. 

 

***

 

The party had finally come. He let Leo make the speeches. He didn’t really care. He took the bottle Robin presented in front of him and started drinking right away. His girlfriend was soon dancing tightly against him and the arousal was beginning to appear. He could hear the boys laughing. He could see from the corner of his eyes Neymar running behind Leo like a little lost puppy; he did feel sorry for the boy. 

Things were becoming blurrier by the minute. He never ran out of alcohol; every time his glass was getting empty, one of his friends would refill it. He shouldn’t drink; he knew he shouldn’t but nobody else seemed to care enough to stop him. He wasn’t doing any wrong anyways, was he? He was just having fun with his friends who, by the way, were pretty much as wasted as him. That wasn’t exactly the truth now, was it? His friends were drinking just because they felt like it; he, on the other hand, was trying to drunk away everything his parents had ever done to him. He was angry, he was pissed and he was sad. Alcohol, he hoped, would take it all away. 

His head was starting to spin. Had his girlfriend a double or was it just the liquid burning his throat? Leo smiled at him and handed him a little pill. A pill. For a moment Cristiano thought that it could be too much. He was taking it too far but a pill might work tonight. He slowly took it and put it in his mouth. The world could go to hell. Reality was disappearing in front of him but he still could catch glimpses of it. In one of those glimpses he saw a blonde head he could recognize. A boy with raven hair was kissing him. For a reason Cristiano couldn’t really explain, he felt something gripping his stomach. It was a sensation he couldn’t really place. The blonde made eye contact with him and Cristiano acted on impulse; action-reaction, he thought. At least that’s what his father had taught him. He gripped his girlfriend –was still his girlfriend the one grinding on him?- and started kissing her like there was no tomorrow. It didn’t do much for him anymore. When he pulled back, the blonde was nowhere to be seen. This party didn’t really make sense anymore. 

 

*** 

 

He was sweating so much; it wasn’t even funny anymore. Marcelo had tried to get him to stop drinking but Cristiano pushed him out of his way ignoring his pleas. There he was now; alone, in a corridor, drinking. He was about to fall when someone took him by the waist.

“Careful there. We don’t want daddy’s boy to end up on the floor now, do we?”

“G-g-g-o away! I c-c-an hand-d-le myse-e-elf.”

Cristiano could make out the other boy snorting. 

“Let’s see; you’re drunk out of your ass alone in the corridor. It’s obvious you handle yourself so well.” 

Cristiano was about to answer when he almost passed out. The other boy’s voice became terribly worried. He took him again and put him on the bench. It wasn’t an easy task; the boy was tinier and smaller than him. 

“What’s wrong? You’re so white. What the hell did you took Cristiano?”

He could barely hear anything anymore but the boy insisted. 

“Cristiano, did you just drink? Did you take something more? Answer me!”

He could feel the boy shaking him. He made the effort to articulate an answer.

“I t-o-o-ok a p-i-i-ll.”

“Fuck. You weren’t that stupid. You couldn’t be that stupid!”

The boy opened his mouth and put his fingers as far as he could in his throat. Cristiano vomited soon enough. It took a frustrating and extreme hour.

 

***

 

His head was hurting so much. How could your head hurt so much? The smell of the cafe in front of him disgusted him but the other boy wasn’t really giving him a choice. When he tasted it, he wanted to spit.

“There’s salt!”

The boy snorted.

“Of course there’s salt. You’ll thank me tomorrow when your hangover won’t be killing you.”  
Cristiano sighed. Everything ached and he wasn’t back to his normal self but he was breathing and he could, at least, make sense of things.

“Why did you make me vomit?”

“You had mixed drugs with alcohol. I didn’t know what drug you had taken. Making you vomit was my only solution.”

Cristiano looked down ashamed. The fucking pill.

“That was a fucking stupid thing to do you know! You could have killed yourself! Did you at least know what the hell you were taking?”

Cristiano sighed. Did he know? He barely remembered Leo handing it to him. The other boy shook his head.

“Fucking incredible. You all have a suicidal instinct in this place. A rich kid playing with drugs, you should be ashamed.”

“Hey! I was having fun!”

Cristiano was sure the boy was about to hit him but he controlled himself in the last second. 

“Fun? Drugs aren’t fun Cris! They hook people on and they kill him slowly and painfully. You haven’t seen it but I have, okay? I have seen what they do. Stop fucking around.”

The boy sighed.

“Why were you drinking that much?”

“Having fun.”

“Alone in a corridor? So much fun going on.”

“I have spent the night with my friends!”

The smaller boy had to laugh at that one.

“Yeah, the same who handed you the alcohol and the pills! Where were they when you almost passed out? Some friends you’ve got there man.”

Cristiano really wanted to answer back but he was too tired to find an argument.

“Fuck you. You go around judging everyone. Who are you? Nelson Mandela? You’re just a fucking poor kid who wouldn’t even be here if this school didn’t make charity.”

Cristiano knew, as he spoke, that he was being the dumbest of the dumbs. He wanted to take it all back the moment it came out of his mouth but he couldn’t. He was too pride to. He could sense the hurt in the boy’s eyes and when he got up to leave Cris’ world crumbled once more the same day. This time he was quick to react. He grabbed the boy’s hand and pleaded him to stay. 

“I’m sorry. Please, don’t leave. Please. I don’t want to be alone.”

He could see the pity in the boy’s eyes. It wasn’t really the emotion he wanted to see there but he wasn’t exactly in the position to choose. The boy slowly sat back and took Cris’ hand in his. 

“Why did you do it?”

“What?”

“I’ve been an ass to you today. Why did you save me? Why are you still here?”

Cristiano couldn’t grasp what was happening. Was what he was seeing in the boy’s eyes generosity? The emotion was so pure, so selfless, as powerful as the one he gave him through his speech in the morning. He wasn’t used to this. He could barely believe it. 

“Nobody should be alone.”

“I almost believed you this morning. I almost believed in the world you were talking about.”

The boy looked at him surprised.

“I drank because it turned out that the only person I could trust is a liar. Lately I feel as if my world is just destroying itself and I can’t do anything to stop it.”

Cristiano got nearer to the boy’s face before continuing. 

“I don’t want to change. I don’t want things to change. I’m scarred as shit. But, when I listen to you, I believe that change may be good. That it could be better instead of worst.”

“It can.”

Cristiano snorted.

“You’re stronger than me. I wish I could be more like you.”

"You could be. I'm nothing special."

Cristiano chuckled once again and lifted his head to look directly into the boy’s eyes. 

"Yes, you are. You say whatever you think; do whatever you feel like doing; you're so brave. What you did today was so brave."

"I just did what had to be done."

Cristiano smiled to himself. The guy was just unbelievable. 

"I wish you could see how amazing that is. Very few people do what has to be done."

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Being like this. You find me so amazing when you're drunk and we're alone. You just don't think the same sobered up."

Cristiano shook violently his head.

"That's not true. I find you amazing all the time. It's just I can't say it aloud when I'm sober."

"That's why this isn't a good idea."

"Why do you care then?"

"What?"

"You've already told me today how horrible I am. Why are you here taking care of me then?"

"Somebody has to."

"You care."

"I care about everybody."

Cristiano smiled. 

"You care more about me."

"God, you're so conceited. Even drunk you are!"

"Don't stop caring."

"What?"

"I know I can be a jerk but, please, don't stop caring.”

Cristiano knew it wasn’t fair but he needed that promise. 

"Promise me you won't give up on me?"

He could feel the boy fighting against himself. His logical side screaming to him to say no and his mouth being faster.

"Promise."

He didn’t know exactly what he was doing but he couldn’t fight it anymore. He had felt that pull towards the boy since their first meeting. There was just something around him he couldn’t ignore in this state. He slowly leaned in. 

“Don’t.”

“Why?”

“Because tomorrow nothing of this will remain.”

“Tomorrow may not come.”

Then he kissed him. It was slow. A discovery kiss. He wished he could lie and say it had been like any other kiss but what he felt was new to him. He could taste his childhood definitely washing away. He could taste tomorrow even if he wouldn’t believe it. He could taste the world that lies ahead of the one that just crumbled. 

He slowly pulled away and, at that moment, Leo came in looking for his so called best friend.

"Here you are! The party is not over man! Where were you? What the hell are you doing with him?"

"He was drunk off his ass, falling in the corridor. I just brought him here and got him a coffee. Try no to mess him up even more, okay?"

"I can't leave you alone for a minute buddy. Look the companies you get for yourself!"

 

***

 

Ancelotti couldn’t take it anymore. He was so tired of correcting writings.

“Write about your tragic flaw.”

Could they even understand the question? Thought Carletto. They were so young. He slowly took the next one in the pile; the faster, the better. It was Cristiano’s. 

 

“The more things change, the more they stay the same. I’m not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it’s the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw, my inability to change. I don’t think I’m alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it’s kind of everyone’s flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still… It feels safer somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected… Who knows what other pain might be out there, waiting for you. Chances are it could be even worse. So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn’t seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You’re not a drug addict. You’re not killing anyone… Except maybe yourself a little. When we finally do change, I don’t think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we’re like this different person. I think it’s smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn’t even notice unless they looked at us really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever… that you’ll never have to change again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cristiano's essay is not mine but has been picked off the TV show "Everwood" where it is written by one of the main characters, Ephram. (If you have never watched this, check it out! It's awesome!)
> 
>  
> 
> So, what do you think of Cristiano's day? 
> 
> Next chapter will be all about Fáb.


	7. Fábio's tragic flaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We follow Fábio through his long day and an interesting night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments :)
> 
> Excuse my spelling and grammatical mistakes, Word's corrector wouldn't work today! Ughhh.

 

Fábio didn’t really want to open his eyes this morning. He could feel in his stomach it would be a very long day. Since he arrived at the school he had not got a single moment of peace. Today wouldn’t be any different.

 

The laughs going on around him and the thought that today was football’s day got him finally up. When he opened his eyes, he was deeply surprised by what he saw. Gareth and Álvaro were joking. If you didn’t know them, you would have swore they had been best buddies for years. Things definitely could change fast.

 

“Good morning sleepyhead!”

 

Sleepyhead? It was six a.m., thought Fábio. He had a very different concept of what a sleepyhead was.

 

“What’s up with you two?”

 

Álvaro smiled at him; it was the first time he had seen the boy smiling.

 

“Today’s football and party!”

 

Fábio grunted. The football was more than enough to him.

  
“Álvaro’s first party on the poor side of the world!”

 

“Yeah, normally I’d be one of the ones throwing it but that’s all in the past. It wasn’t pretty anyway.”

  
“What do you mean?” Asked Fábio getting off the bed.

 

“There is always someone who gets out of control. Been there, done that. It really is not pretty.”

 

 

The pitch was amazing. Fábio wasn’t used to places like this. All his life he had played on gravel and bad pitches. This was like the ones you saw on TV: big, different shades of green and perfect straight lines. He could have had an orgasm just looking at it.

 

“Let’s play.”

  
“Not so fast my friend, they’re playing.” Wayne looked at Fábio as if he was crazy. Couldn’t he see the pitch was occupied?

 

The truth was that Fábio was so engrossed watching the field that he hadn’t paid attention to the figures running around until one of them caught his sight. He had never seen anyone play like that. He had seen very talented people but this? The guy was running as fast as the wind with the body held up straight; that had to be the definition of majesty. Kaká’s voice broke his trance but, truth to be told, he was already a bit in love by then.

 

“He’s beautiful to see, right?”

 

Fábio could hear something weird in Kaká’s voice. He decided to pay close attention to the guy he had been watching. He soon discovered it was Cristiano and he wondered how someone so stupid could be so incredible with a ball attached to his feet. He found it hard to breath when the older boy scored.

 

“He’s a gift of god on that field.”

 

Kaká smiled with a sense of understanding. Cristiano’s cockiness when celebrating the goal was what definitely ended the Fábio’s hypnosis. What an arrogant lad! He was still Cristiano Ronaldo after all.

 

“As nice as it is to watch, it’s our time. We reserved the field. I want to play!”

 

Mesut and Silva looked at him scared as if they knew something was about to happen.

  
“Just don’t.” Asked Mesut, slightly shaking.

 

Gareth rolled his eyes while Fábio shook his heads.

 

“This is enough guys. I’m going to do something about this right now and you’ll see I’ll survive, okay? They don’t rule our lives. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

 

Fábio turned towards the pitch and yelled at the first guy he could reach.

  
“Hey! Get out! It’s our turn man!”

 

He could see Silva hiding behind Gareth and he promised to himself he would have a talk with that poor boy later on.

 

Villa came towards him as a bull. Was he scared? Hell not! He had never backed away from a fight, ever.

  
“Who the hell do you think you are? You fucking kid!”

 

Just when he was about to answer to the kid, Cristiano came in between them. He had a tendency to do that, hadn’t he? To anyone looking from the outside, it would almost look as a covered up way to protect him from his wonderful friends. Fábio could already read the tiredness on Cristiano’s face.

 

“What the hell is going on here?”

The boy did look angry but Fábio didn’t care at all at the moment. That playfield belonged to them as much as to Cristiano’s and his friends; he wouldn’t let it go. He knew how it was with that kind of people; if you let them win once, you lose forever.

“The excuse for a human being here thinks we should leave them the playfield.” Said Villa looking now smoothly, as if Cristiano’s only presence was meant a sure victory. Well, thought Fábio, Cristiano may be good but he was better at this.

“And why the hell should we do that?”

“We have reserved the field. You’ve been playing for two hours now. It’s our turn. In fact, it’s been since half an hour according to the schedule.”

Cristiano took the schedule Fábio was handing to him and shredded it to pieces looking deeply into the blonde eyes. Right then Fábio had the urge to charge against the lean boy but he remained calm. This was so typical from people like Cristiano; they thought laws didn’t apply to them. Rules were just for anybody else.

 “This is our fucking place. We play as long as we want to play. Got it?”

“Why the hell should it be like that?”

Really Cristiano? Really? Give me something better, thought Fábio.

“Things are just the way they are.” 

“What kind of argument is that? Things are just the way they are until somebody changes them!”

“And it’s going to be you?”

“It may be me or it may be someone else. The fact is that someday you won’t get your way.”

He saw Cristiano chuckle at that sentence. He was so self assured. He really deserved to get that smiled wipped off his stupid little face.

“I’ve got the power.”

“Your father has. You, for the moment, have not done a thing.”

Bingo, thought Fábio. He could see Cristiano’s jaw thightning as his fists coming to his sides. Rich cute boy had daddy issues; it didn’t really surprised him that much. Had Cristiano ever done somthing by himself?

“Some things you can’t buy.”

“You’ll learn the rules or I’ll personally chase you down.”

Was that a threat or a promise? The conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Mourinho.

“What the hell is going on?”

“We had reserved the field but they keep on playing.”

Mourinho looked back and forth between the two boys. This always happened but it was the first time somebody complained about it.

“Is it true?” He asked looking at Cristiano.

“We never follow the schedule.”

“Well, we do now since someone cares enough to ask us to respect it. Out of the field boys, it’s their turn.”

 

Fábio could feel his smirk growing. Fábio 1- Cristiano 0. The tension was outstanding. The kid was so close to his face that his stomach was exploding with fireworks of anger and excitement. Nothing could topple the thrill of a good fight, thought Fábio.

 “Watch out Fábio or someone will have to teach you a lesson.”

Fábio knew that sentence by heart. He could tell how the screenplay would play out even if he had never seen the movie. Cristiano uttered the threat and the victim inmediately backed down. The problem was Fábio wasn’t a victim; in the place he came from it wasn’t an option, victims don’t survive.

 “Oh and is that going to be you? I am so scared. What are you going to do? Kill me with hair gel while I’m sleeping?”

It was a test. Fábio wanted to know what Cristiano would do. Would he go after him as he so clearly wanted it? Or would Mourinho’s presence stop him?

Cristiano sighed and backed down. He quietly walked away with his friends. Fábio snorted. He was right; Cristiano was too scared of power. He respected it. He feared it. He wanted it. He was then prisoneer of it.

Fábio turned back to look at his friends and smiled. He threw the ball at Gareth who took it and ran to the field. The expressions of admiration, fear and hapiness he saw were pretty telling. They hadn’t won a battle in so long. Fábio promised then, silently, it wouldn’t be their last victory.

 

            Fábio knocked on Silva and Wayne’s room two times before the English boy let him in.

“Hey Silva! Would you mind if I talk to you for a minute?”

The boy nodded and made a sign of approval towards his roommate. He followed Fábio outside and along the corridors. They finally came to a quiet spot and sat next to an inmense window that showed and outstanding paysage.

“I never liked school. I was too dreamy to like it. I spent all my time looking through the window, thinking about something else.”

Silva listened to each word Fábio said. He was very curious about this conversation.

“One of my bestfriends, however, loved it. His preferred subject was philosophy. Philosophy... can you believe it? What’s the point in philosophy anyway?!”

Fábio could sense Silva’s dumbfounded expression. He wasn’t making any sense.

  
“I didn’t understand it so one day I asked him to give me one single example of the value of philosophy. Show me what the hell it’s useful for man! I said. He told me something I’ll never forget: the tale of the Buddhist monk and his student. Did you know it?”

Silva shook his head.

“Do you want to hear it?”

The boy nodded eagerly. Fábio could tell Silva was totally different to him; he actually enjoyed learning.

“The Buddhist monkey was now an old man; he had spent all his life training students and this one whas his last and best one. He didn’t have much time left so he had to make sure the boy was ready. After years of intensive training, he decided to put the boy through the ultimate test.”

Fábio loved that story. He had learned so much from it and he felt delighted to pass it to Silva. He hoped it could also be useful to him.

“He showed up in front of the boy with a long stick and told him:

            _If you keep up, I’ll beat you with the stick._

_If you sit up, I’ll beat you with the stick.”_

  
“But that’s not fair!” Interrupted Silva. “Whatever he does, he’ll beat him!”

Fábio smiled at the boy’s innocence.

“That’s exactly what the student said to his mentor. The monkey, however, said that those were the rules.”

“What did the student do?”

“He got beaten up for a long while until he couldn’t take it anymore. Fed up, he took the stick from his master. “

“What did the master do then?”

“He told his student:

            Congratulations. You just passed up your last test. You’re ready.”

“I’m not sure I get it.”

“The student wasn’t either. He had spent all of his life learning to respect his master and he felt really bad about what he had just done so the master explained it to him.

_Sooner or later, the student has to overpass the teacher. If he doesn’t, it means the teacher didn’t do his work well._

_You know respect and I am proud of it but I had to see that you could think out of the box. If you can’t overcome a situation, you have to change the way you conceive it. Your mind is now free. It is not caged up by what anyone has ever thaught you and that was my only purpose; to free your mind. Now all the possibilities lie ahead of you.”_   
  


Fábio saw realization hit Silva’s face and took him by his shoulders.

“I don’t know what has gone on between you and Villa and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but you have to stop being scarred. It’s time you think outside the box.”

“What if I still end up beaten up?”

“Is it really worthy?”

“What is it?”

“A life where you’re afraid all the time, is it really worthy to protect that hard? I think it deserves a risk. I’ll be here when you’re willing to take it. We’re all going to be here Silva.”

Cristiano, who has a few steps behind them, had listened to the whole conversation and silently disappeared. He smiled to himself. He had liked that story. Maybe the outside of the box wasn’t so bad.

 

Fábio had seen people faking but what this was taking it to a whole new level.

Cristiano was in front of a bunch of paparazzi with his parents, acting as a little perfect family for some elections Fábio didn’t give a fuck about.

It was all so fake. You could smell it if you tried. For the first time, he felt real pity for the arrogant boy standing in front of him. He didn’t stayed for the show. He had already seen everything he needed to.

 

“Party! Party! Party!” Fernando and Cesc were jumping around the room as very excited kids on a Christmas morning. Spanish people, thought Fábio, always ready for a good party.

“Okay, everybody who doesn’t live here, out!”

The boys looked sadly at Fábio.

“We need to get ready! We’ll gather down and go to that damn party.”

That gave them their smile back and, since Álvaro was nowhere to see, leave him and Gareth alone in their room. Fábio didn’t miss the longing look Ricardo and Gareth excanged before the Brazilian left with the rest of the group.

“Would you two stop this nonsense?”

Gareth chuckled. “I don’t know what you’re talking about man.”

Fábio sighed.

“Cut the bullshit. There are butterflies flying around the room everytime you two are in it.”

Gareth sighed. “It’s not that easy. You know when you cherished something so much it’s just perfect to you? You would just do about anything to get it. You’d even wait for it forever. Then it’s not so perfect anymore and you just can’t have it.”

Fábio sat in front of his roommate and nodded.

“I do but people aren’t perfect Gareth. Nobody is. I’m sorry he fucked up but everyone will eventually.”

“I know but everything in my life has revolved around him for so long that I need time for me. I need to be the center of my world, get it?”

Fábio smiled. They could be soulmates really.

“Totally man:”

 

The party was a bore. Fábio couldn’t wait until it ended. The day had been so long and now it seemed as if it would never end. At least the other ones were having their fair part of fun. Fábio made a note in his head; if he ever wanted to party hard, he had to take Fernando and Cesc with him, those two just had the party running through their veins.

“May I talk to you for a second?”

Fábio turned back to see a smiling Mesut and nodded eagerly. Everything that could take him out of his boredom was welcomed.

“What you did today was awesome.”

Fábio rolled his eyes. The school was actually divided into two groups when it came to him: the ones who looked at him as if he was the evil and the ones who worshipped him as a hero. He was already tired of it. He wanted to be old plain Fábio. The fragile guy that cried once a month and liked the company of others. Here he was the strong one. He had to be for the others at least. He was their only chance and was very conscious of it.

“It wasn’t but we had fun on that field. By the way, you were great man! You’re so skilled. Very talented.”

It was true. Mesut was indeed very talented. Everything was slow and classy when it came to him and football. Fábio admired his technical skills and his calm on the field. He had never been able to stay calm on a field.

 

Mesut blushed. “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself. You seemed so passionate on that field.”

Fábio smirked. Passionate was a very complicated way to be. He turned his head to the side and saw a not so pretty picture. Cristiano was  dancing with some slut. Wait, could it be called dancing? It was too obscene to be dancing. Their stares met for a brief second and Fábio felt the same electrical thrill he had felt the first time they had shook hands. His stomach was growling once again.

Something on his lips interrupted his trail of thoughts. What the hell? It took some seconds for Fábio to realize it was indeed Mesut’s mouth moving on top of his. He couldn’t believe it. He knew the kid had a little crush on him but he seemed so shy that Fábio had hoped he wouldn’t act on it. It wasn’t a bad kiss. Fábio pulled away and looked shocked.

“What was that?”

“A kiss.”

Fábio snorted. A kiss? No shit!

“Look, think about it. I’m not asking you anything but to think about it. We could be good together. I could be good for you.”

Mesut kissed him again, on the cheek this time, and left to dance with the others leaving a stunned Fábio behind him.

 

 

Fábio could still feel it on his lips. He walked towards his room exhausted. This day had to end before anything else happened. He didn’t know what to think of that kiss. What was he going to do with Mesut? The German boy had needed a big dose of courage in order to take that step; he didn’t want to break the spirit that was growing inside the boy.

He needed to catch a good night of sleep then everything will be better. Tomorrow he’ll see clearer. His plans, however, didn’t make it to his room. He could see a figure stumbling in the corridor, it was about to fall when he run to catch it by the waist. He then recognized Cristiano surrounded by empty bottles on the floor and sighed. That boy would be the death of him.

“Careful there. We don’t want daddy’s boy to end up on the floor now, do we?”

“G-g-g-o away! I c-c-an hand-d-le myse-e-elf.”

Fábio snorted.

 “Let’s see; you’re drunk out of your ass alone in the corridor. It’s obvious you handle yourself so well.”

Then the boy almost passed out and Fábio began to panic. He took the boy in his arms and started yelling at him trying to get a response. He decided to bring him to the bench; it wasn’t an easy task, he was smaller and tinier than the drunk one.

“What’s wrong? You’re so white. What the hell did you took Cristiano?”

He needed answers and he needed them now.

“Cristiano, did you just drink? Did you take something more? Answer me!”

He shook the boy as hard as he could and finally got an answer.

“I t-o-o-ok a p-i-i-ll.”

“Fuck. You weren’t that stupid. You couldn’t be that stupid!”

He decided it would be a good idea to dwell on Cristiano’s stupidty later on. He opened his mouth and put his fingers as far as he could down the boy’s throat. Cristiano vomited soon enough. It took a frustrating and extreme hour.

 

Here he was, at 4 a.m. forcing Cristiano to drink a coffe with salt after one of the most frighteful moments of his life. He knew he should have stayed in bed that morning.

 “There’s salt!”

Fábio snorted. He couldn’t believe the kid.

“Of course there’s salt. You’ll thank me tomorrow when your hangover won’t be killing you.” 

 “Why did you make me vomit?”

“You had mixed drugs with alcohol. I didn’t know what kind of drug you had taken. Making you vomit was my only solution.”

Cristiano looked down ashamed and Fábio felt the urge to shake him up. What was he thinking?

“That was a fucking stupid thing to do you know! You could have killed yourself! Did you at least know what the hell you were taking?”

Cristiano shook his head and Fábio couldn’t believe it. He was really that stupid.

“Fucking incredible. You all have a suicidal instinct in this place. A rich kid playing with drugs, you should be ashamed.”

“Hey! I was having fun!”

He wanted to hit him. He wanted to hit him badly. Having fun? Fábio had seen the kind of fun drugs could produce. He had been there when his best friend had shortage crisis or when he had to steal in order to pay for his “fun”. He had seen kids gone mad because of it. He had seen people die. People he cared about. People who had all their life in front of him. Those people, however, didn’t have half the chance Cristiano enjoyed everyday. He couldn’t understand it.

 “Fun? Drugs aren’t fun Cris! They hook people on and they kill them slowly and painfully. You haven’t seen it but I have, okay? I have seen what they do. Stop fucking around.”

He wanted to understand. He wanted a reason.

“Why were you drinking that much?”

“Having fun.”

“Alone in a corridor? So much fun going on.”

“I have spent the night with my friends!”

Cristiano really had a wicked concept of friendship, thouht Fábio.

“Yeah, the same who handed you the alcohol and the pills! Where were they when you almost passed out? Some friends you’ve got there man.”

“Fuck you. You go around judging everyone. Who are you? Nelson Mandela? You’re just a fucking poor kid who wouldn’t even be here if this school didn’t make charity.”

That was it, thought Fábio. He had spent his night helping a guy who had been a total jerk to him and he was insulted? Cristiano’s words hurt. He wasn’t charity. He had won his place in that school fair and square. Of course there was a part of luck but he had achieved this, nobody had handed it to him on a silver plate. Cristiano couldn’t understand though, everything had been given to him on a silver plate. He stood up in order to leave and end that day full of nightmares. That’s when he felt Cristiano’s hand grabbing his and he felt, once more, that damn thing in his stomach.

“I’m sorry. Please, don’t leave. Please. I don’t want to be alone.”

He should have left. He knew he should have left but he felt pity and compassion. At the moment he didn’t see an arrogant jerk sitting in front of him; what he saw was a boy who felt lost, a boy whose childhood was disappearing, a boy who wasn’t ready. Fábio had always been a compassionate person. His father always told him that his generosity would be the death of him. So be it, thought Fábio. He sat back and took Cris’ hand in his in order to give him some kind of reassurance.

“Why did you do it?”

“What?”

“I’ve been an ass to you today. Why did you save me? Why are you still here?”

It was pretty simple, thought Fábio. You didn’t leave alone someone that needed you. Easy and simple, no ulterior motives.

“Nobody should be alone.”

“I almost believed you this morning. I almost believed in the world you were talking about.”

Fábio looked at him surprised.

“I drank because it turned out that the only person I could trust is a liar. Lately I feel as if my world is just destroying itself and I can’t do anything to stop it.”

Cristiano got nearer to his face and Fábio could feel himslf getting tense.

“I don’t want to change. I don’t want things to change. I’m scarred as shit. But, when I listen to you, I believe that change may be good. That it could be better instead of worst.”

“It can.”

Cristiano snorted and Fábio’s heart sunk.

“You’re stronger than me. I wish I could be more like you.”

"You could be. I'm nothing special."

Cristiano chuckled once again and lifted his head to look directly into the boy’s eyes. Fábio felt himself redden this time. He wasn’t strong at all, he thought. There, a few inches away of Cristiano’s face, he wasn’t strong at all. In fact, he was turning to jelly.

"Yes, you are. You say whatever you think; do whatever you feel like doing; you're so brave. What you did today was so brave."

"I just did what had to be done."

"I wish you could see how amazing that is. Very few people do what has to be done."

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Being like this. You find me so amazing when you're drunk and we're alone. You just don't think the same sobered up."

Cristiano shook violently his head. Fábio should have left right then but he didn’t. He listened to his damn stomach.

"That's not true. I find you amazing all the time. It's just I can't say it aloud when I'm sober."

"That's why this isn't a good idea."

"Why do you care then?"

"What?"

"You've already told me today how horrible I am. Why are you here taking care of me then?"

"Somebody has to."

"You care."

"I care about everybody."

Cristiano smiled.

"You care more about me."

"God, you're so conceited. Even drunk you are!"

"Don't stop caring."

"What?"

"I know I can be a jerk but, please, don't stop caring.”

Fábio could sense the despair in Cristiano’s voice. He was pleading, praying for something to hang on.

"Promise me you won't give up on me?"

He shouldn’t. You have to keep promises. The way to keep promises is to be very careful about what you promise. He shouldn’t but what if Cristiano could change? What is that promise could make a difference? He was willing to take the chance. He couldn’t deny him anyway when he was looking with that stupid intensity.

"Promise."

He was leaning in and Fábio could feel himself getting into full panic mode. What was he doing? What was it with people and kisses today? He wasn’t stupid, he had felt the pull the very first time they had talked in that corridor but things were different now.

“Don’t.”

“Why?”

“Because tomorrow nothing of this will remain.”

“Tomorrow may not come.”

Then he kissed him. It was slow. A discovery kiss. This was so much more than a not so bad kiss. He wished it wasn’t but who was he kidding? The thing going on in his stomach when Cristiano was around just exploded with full force. For a moment he let himself be and could taste the sweetness and the possibilities of that kiss. He knew, with that one kiss, that he would never feel that again and it scared him to death. Love wasn’t for him. Love had never been for him.

Cristiano slowly pulled away and, before anything could be said, Leo came in.

"Here you are! The party is not over man! Where were you? What the hell are you doing with him?"

"He was drunk off his ass, falling in the corridor. I just brought him here and got him a coffee. Try no to mess him up even more, okay?"

"I can't leave you alone for a minute buddy. Look the companies you get for yourself!"

The irony of that, thought Fábio.

 

 

Fábio didn’t get much sleep that night. Cristiano had an excuse; he was drunk. What could he said in his defense? He had kissed a jerk and he had loved every minute of it. It was a bad idea and he knew it. He couldn’t understand the attraction though, that little rich kid wasn’t his type at all; the hair gel, the diamond earrings... He would have made fun of him walking up a street. A part of his stomach yelled at him: remember, what it looks like isn’t what it is. Another part of him, a much rational one that sounded a lot like his mother answered: sometimes what it looks like is exactly what it is and you know it. Fábio was even more disturbed because, normally, he took every important decision listening to his stomach. He never understood why people were so worried about hearts; when you got nervous, when you got sick, when you got cold or butterflies... it was always in the stomach. Everything important for a human being happened in that part of the body so Fábio always listened to it. This time, however, he promised to himself he would anything to avoid his stomach’s feelings. His brain knew better; Cristiano meant bad news.

 

Mourinho couldn’t take it anymore. He blamed it on Ancelotti, who had such an idea as to give them that kind of subject to write on? He was so tired of correcting writings.

“Write about your tragic flaw.” Bullshit, he thought.

He was curious though when he saw Fábio’s essay was next. The boy’s behavior on the field that morning had intruigued him.

 

 

_“In order to find a new road, you have to leave the the trace of footprints. You have to leave the old road you know so well and take a chance. It’s a risk._

_A new road is full of doubts, fears and unanswered questions. A new road only tells us it would lead us to a new place. It could be a better place but it could also be worst. That, however, you won’t know._

_A new road could take you to a treasure or to an abyss, you never know. The possibility of the treasure attracts but the one of the abyss is terribly scary. What are you going to do? Are you willing to take the chance? Will you be brave enough to choose the new road? Or will you keep on travelling the old one?_

_That is my tragic flaw of the moment. To take it or not to take it, that is the question. We believe that we reach new roads but the truth is that it is the roads that reach us. What do we do then? Are we ready? Can you ever be ready for that kind of thing?_

_The bottom line is if you want something different to happen, you have to do something different. If you want to arrive at a new place, you have to take a new road._

_To progress without knowing where you will arrive, that’s what attracts and scares about the new roads._

_But that’s the whole point of it, isn’t it? It wouldn’t be fun otherwise.”_

 

 

 

 

 

  
           

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you enjoyed our little Fábio's time.


	8. Multiple tragic flaws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alvaro, Leo and Neymar are struggling.

ALVARO & MESUT

 

 

This party sucked. It wasn’t fair that Xabi was literally two feet away from him and he didn’t even dare to look at him. How could a person be so near to you and so out of reach?

 

Alvaro knew he had to concentrate on something else; the small talk his new acquaintances were making for example. In a few days he had learned to know them a bit better and was surprised to find how nice they actually were. Those kids he had insulted were generous people who had welcomed him forgiving and forgetting the past.

 

He had always been a good guy but, until recently, everything had been handed to him on a silver plate. He had been one of those few chosen who have the world at their feet before even been born. Feeling so powerful, Alvaro hadn’t been the kindest when it came to those who weren’t as lucky as him. He simply didn’t realize how cruel and stupid his behavior was.

 

At least the awful events of the last months had taught him something. He was much more aware of people and things now although those events had also distanced him from Xabi and that simply sucked.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Mesut’s voice disturbed him.

 

“Nothing is wrong!”

 

The boy just smiled at him and shook his head.

 

“I’ve used that sentence enough times to know that there is always something wrong behind it. Do you miss him?”

 

Was he that obvious? Thought Alvaro before sighing.

 

“Yeah, I do.”

  
“Did he ditch you after you not being friends with the others anymore?”

  
“Ditch me? Xabi would never do anything like that to me. Ever.”

 

“Then why are you here and not over there talking to him?”

 

“Sometimes you can’t have what you want. I’m trying not to be that egoist.”

 

“You can trust me, you know? Look, I don’t know what is going on but there is obviously something big going on. You ditch your friends, you come to us, you don’t speak to the guy you were glued to some months ago. If you don’t want to tell, that’s fine but if you ever need to, and you probably will at some point, you can trust me or any of the guys.”

 

Alvaro looked at the young boy amazed. He tried to find a memory in his mind; a memory about him and his old friends sharing a moment like that. They weren’t any because they never happened.

 

He smiled and nodded. No, he wasn’t ready to talk but one day he just may. He may tell Mesut about his father’s imminent imprisonment, his mother’s depression or the Logia’s threats. He just might tell him that him being away form Xabi is just what love is about. Until then, Alvaro thought, he could learn what friendship was truly about.

 

**ALVARO’S TRAGIC FLAW**

           

            Ancelotti took the next paper; it belonged to Alvaro’s. He was truly curious about it. A lot of things had changed about that boy in a few months, maybe the key to solve the mystery would be there.

 

 

 

_My Tragic Flaw_

_To choose between two shades of brown is a dilemma, but a real dilemma is when you have to choose between being the bad guy of the film in order to do good or be the good guy that does bad._

_A dilemma is choosing between what you want and what’s better for the person you care the most about. What should you do? A few months ago I wouldn’t have hesitated but things change and so do people._

_Choosing between a new video game or Eels’ new CD is a dilemma but a real dilemma is when you have as many reasons to do something as to not do it._

_It’s not about what you want to choose, it’s about what you prefer to loose. A choice is picking between two good things, a dilemma is picking between two bad options. What do you want to loose? What is more bearable to loose?_

_You know that you are the bad guy of the story but you also know that there are reasons for it. You’re conscious that it’s so horrible to do it and so horrible not to._

_To be or not to be the bad guy of the film has been my tragic flaw. I had to choose between having the dearest person to my heart or letting her go to secure her security and happiness._

_If a dilemma is to choose between two bad things then I choose what I can choose._

_I don’t think I’ll ever watch a film like I used to. It’s never clear who the bad guy of the movie is. Even he has his own dilemma; he does what he does because he can’t choose anything better._

_I’ve become a trusting person; I like to give opportunities to people because now I know that we all have our own dilemmas, even the bad guys do._

**MESSI & NEYMAR**

 

Leo couldn’t believe they were having this conversation for the hundredth time. What was wrong with that boy? Didn’t he understand the language?

 

“I am sure we could work out.”

 

“There is nothing to work out.”

 

“But... “

  
“But nothing! What is this really about?”

 

Neymar sighed.

 

“I want to help you.”

 

Leo almost chocked. Help him? Since when did he need help?

  
“Do I look like a damsel in distress to you?”

  
“Help to feel and express it.”  


Leo laughed tiredly. He had seen this many times.

 

“This is so damn typical.”

 

“That I care about you?”

  
“That you want to change me!”

 

“Oh, I’ve seen it before! First you were attracted to me in all my badass glory. I was the bad guy; the powerful guy, the one who didn’t give a fuck, the one who knows how to have fun. Then after sometime you just want to change me into something I’m not.”

“You don’t get it.”

 

“No, you’re the one who doesn’t get it! I am this way, got it? There is no hidden trauma here that explains why I am this way. I wasn’t beaten up when I was younger. I’ve never been in love therefore my heart has never been broken. There’s nothing wrong with me.”

 

“There’s something wrong with everyone.”

 

Leo shook his head.

 

“What do you want me to tell you Ney? That my dad works so much I have barely seen him for two days in my whole life? That my parents don’t care? Do you want to hear the whole crap about having all the money in the world but not love?”

 

Neymar looked at Leo almost scared of what was coming next.

 

“Well, guess what, it doesn’t matter. I am not unhappy. I am not suffering. I do not need to be saved. I’m pretty happy that I’ve got my money and I don’t miss any love. So, for the last time, if you’re looking for hugs and sweet words, go somewhere else!”

 

He approached the younger boy and looked deep into his eyes spitting each word as if he was digging into the boy’s heart with a knife.

 

“It’s not going to happen.”

 

**NEYMAR’S TRAGIC FLAW**

 

            Mourinho took the next paper; it was Neymar’s. He didn’t have much hope for this one, the kid didn’t seem specially smart. All the things Mourinho could be doing instead of correcting those papers... The teacher sighed and resumed his task; they paid him for it after all.

 

 

_My Tragic Flaw_

_When they ask you why and you don’t have an answer, there is no peace. You can feel yourself falling into the abyss of the unknown. There is no question more hurtful than “Why”. There is no worst lack of answer.  We need to understand the thing that we think the most about._

_To not understand mute us. We’ll have to accept some things don’t have any explanation behind them. Sometimes things happen and we don’t know why. Then our life just seems unreal because we lack the elements to control it._

_We all need urgent answers. Answers to questions that drive us crazy._

_When the absurd is that absurd, nothing matters anymore._

_My tragic flaw is about accepting that some things in life are what they are and there’s no reason for them to be the way they are... or is it?_

 

**LEO**

 

He just couldn’t take it anymore. Why did everybody wanted him to be someone he was not?

 

He knew he could be an asshole but he was always honest about it. Leo never lied. There weren’t any surprises with him. He did what he said he was going to do. People don’t value sincerity at all nowadays, thought Leo.

 

He needed to lose it. He needed less stress. No expectations, no pressure, no goals. The pills were perfect for it.

 

What he didn’t expect was Cristiano being so soft. If he had known how badly the pills would affect him, he wouldn’t have handed them to him.

 

People thought he didn’t care about anyone or anything but they were wrong. He did care about his sister, about football, about some of his friends and he definitely cared about Cristiano. He was his best friend after all, the only one who had an idea of what it was like to be Lionel Messi, heir of an empire.

 

He finally got his best friend to bed, not without efforts.

“You’re big man! You should look out for your weight. I think you might have gained some.”

 

No reaction. Leo was getting worried.

 

“Are you all right?”

 

“Just had a shitty day with a bittersweet finale.”

 

“Yeah well, don’t expect me to come to the rescue every shitty day you have.”

 

“You weren’t the one to rescue me.”  
  
“I brought you to bed! You try that with a guy of your size! I even tucked you in.”

 

Cristiano tried to hide it but Leo could see the small smile he had brought upon his friend’s face. He was pretty proud of it.

 

A loud noise broke the peace of the room. Both boys turned their heads around in order to see Sergio getting into the room with an unconscious Mesut.

 

“Guys, I think I fucked up.”

 

Leo and Cristiano looked at each other horrified and darted from the bed.

 

 

 

**LEO’S TRAGIC FLAW**

 

            Leo’s paper; that was one Ancelotti couldn’t wait to read and he wasn’t disappointed.

 

_My Tragic Flaw_

_When I was a little kid, I used to talk a lot and nobody would ever listen. I then learned that words are not always needed to communicate._

_Words can be manipulated, they can loose their value or increase it too much._

_Silence, on the contrary, is more noble. Silence is something you can truly share. Silence is being in control. Silence is power._

_So one day I just stopped talking and that’s exactly when they began to really listen. They say we are slaves of our words and owners of our silence._

_I am never going to be a slave. Not even my tragic’s flaw slave._


	9. Sergio's Tragic Flaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party Sergio lived and the consequences.
> 
> Be careful with the decisions you make, they always come back to bite you in the ass!

“Crying is all right in its way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.”  
― C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

 

Leo & Cristiano & Robin & Sergio & An unconscious Mesut

 

Years later, when Leo found himself telling the story of that eventful night, the only expression he could come up with was sheer panic. 

What had Sergio done? Was the weird big-eyed boy alive? If he wasn’t, not even their families could save them from that one. What the hell was Sergio thinking about? It was a party for god’s sake! Couldn’t he limit himself to get wasted as everyone else? The questions continued to drown Leo’s mind. He really had to find more intelligent friends. 

“Leo!”

Cristiano’s voice shook him out of his trance and he realized, relieved, that the German boy was breathing normally. Once assured he was alive, Leo could finally look at the scratches on his arms and the bruises forming on his face. Their roommate was a psychopath.

“Are you fucking crazy?”

Sergio looked at his friends being totally in shock. He couldn’t find it in him to articulate a word.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You’ll end up killing him, control yourself for god’s sake!” 

“Stop! We’ll deal with him later. We have to do something about Özil.”

Leo heard the plea in Cristiano’s tone and calmed him down. He breathed and shook his head. There was no room for panic anymore. The next time he opened his mouth, Leo the teenager had been replaced with Leo the leader. His tone was cold and assured. He wasn’t sharing thoughts; he was giving orders. 

“We are all going to calm ourselves. Sergio, call Robin. His father is one of the most prestigious doctors in the world, I’m sure he knows enough to check the boy and see if it’s more than a bad fight.”

Sergio stood paralyzed and he was getting on Leo’s nerves. They were in this shit because of him. He should have throw him and his victim out the moment he stepped into the room. 

“Sergio, run. Run or I’ll put you in worst shape than he is.”

Sergio finally took off while Cristiano carefully brought the boy to the bed. 

“We should call a real doctor.”

Leo sighed. 

“If he really needs it, we will.”

“He may have some kind of internal damage we can’t see.”

“Oh, come on Cris! He’ll survive. He may have some limb broken but that’s all.”

“Still. He needs a doctor.”

“He’ll get it one way or another.”

“What if Robin says he’s not in mortal danger? What then?”

Leo turned around and faced his friend. 

“We’ll drop him by his room, knock then sprint off.”

“You’re joking. We can’t do that!”

“Don’t take your frustration out on me, I didn’t fucking beat him Cris!”

Cristiano shook his head, almost shaking. Leo approached him and took him by his shoulders.  
“Do you think I’m that much of a bastard to be happy about this? I’d love to get him to a doctor Cris, I’d fucking love it.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Because if I do, if we do, first thing in the morning tomorrow our faces will be plastered all over the media.”

“But we didn’t do anything.”

“Didn’t we? They’ll start looking into the party and they’ll find out about the booze and the alcohol. We’ll be as suspected as Sergio. What are going to think our parents Cris? They’ll throw right at our face that we are dirt to their names. You know them. We can’t risk it.”

Cristiano looked locked deep in thought. Leo’s speech made sense and it was the most horrible thing possible. For something like that to make sense, they must have lost touch with any reality. For a split second a blond head appeared on his mind, he could almost hear what Fábio would say to him; he could already sense on him the look of absolute disapproval and disappointment. His father’s face, however, was stronger. His mother had let him down. His father was the only thing he had; the only human being that would save him from anything and he was in the middle of the most important campaign of his life. He couldn’t fuck that up so he finally nodded at Leo and he could swear that, in that moment, he could feel something breaking inside of him; something that would never been totally repaired. 

Robin’s arrival stopped the trail of thoughts. Leo and Cristiano exchanged a look that was a silent agreement. Sergio was as lost as before. Robin, by chance, had a true doctor’s impulses. He patiently checked the boy who didn’t stir in his sleep; the expression of concentration of his face scared the boys. Was it serious? Robin winced when coming to the Mesut’s stomach. He kept on exploring until he looked up and talked to Sergio.

“For how long did you kick him?”  
The boy kept silent. 

“Sergio, for god’s sake!”

Cristiano stopped Leo and approached Sergio slowly.

“Sergio, we need to know in order to help you. We’re on your side, okay? We don’t want anything else happening to the boy. Answer Robin, he’s your friend.”

Sergio nodded while bright tears shone through his eyes. 

“I can’t remember very well. He fought back. Normally he doesn’t but this time he did and it angered me more. I don’t know. 30 min maybe?”

Leo thought his stomach had just collapsed into his legs. 30 minutes? How can you kick someone for thirty minutes? Cristiano was having a difficult time trying not to vomit while Robin kept his cool; he would be an awesome doctor someday.

“Okay, for how much when he was unconscious?”

“Around ten minutes, I think. He was conscious for most of it.”

“Okay, did you insist on any body part in particular?”

Sergio nodded shakily. “The stomach.”

“What about the head?”

“Maybe one or two kicks but nothing serious.”

Robin sighed and looked at the boy for a last time before standing up. 

“So?” Asked Leo expectantly. 

“His middle area is pretty damaged and it worries me. The rest is fine; his pulse is okay, he breathes normally and the head shouldn’t be damaged. He has a lot of superficial defense wounds that are going to be pretty hurtful but not dangerous.”

“So he’s going to be okay?”

“I didn’t say that. 30 minutes of kicks is a very long time, 10 when he was already unconscious... He could have internal damage in the middle area. He could be bleeding. His spleen could be broken. He needs a hospital and he needs it right now.”

“Okay, this is what we are going to do. Robin, go to the main room and use the phone there. The cameras are off until tomorrow; it was one of the gifts we got to the party. Call an ambulance.”

As soon as the words had left Leo’s mouth, Robin was on his way showing the true athlete he really was.

“Cris and I are going to leave him in front of his room. Sergio, you go shower and destroy the clothes you have. I said destroy them, okay? We don’t want blood around here. Afterwards just go to bed and call it a day, all right?”

Sergio nodded and ran to the shower not without looking at an unconscious Mesut lingering on his bed. Leo nodded to Cristiano and they both accomplished their task hoping the young boy would be all right in the morning. 

 

Wayne & Silva & Kaká & Cesc & Fernando & Gareth & Fábio & Álvaro

“Guys! Guys, open the fucking door!”

Gareth stood up with difficulty while Fábio put on the lights. Álvaro, still asleep, tried without success to keep his relaxing activity going.  
Wayne’s voice, however, was more insistent every second until Gareth finally opened the door.

“What the hell is wrong with you? It’s six in the morning!”  
Gareth’s voice dropped when he saw what was in front of him. Kaká was hugging a crying Silva while Cesc and Fernando looked scared as hell. Fábio stepped out of the room with his hair sticking out in every possible direction.  
“What happened?”  
“We have to go to the hospital.”  
“Why?”  
Silva stepped away from Kaká and, still crying, tried to talk.  
“I heard a noise and I opened the door to my room. Mesut was there in a horrible shape. Blood and bruises and he wouldn’t wake up...”  
Silva couldn’t end the sentence, which made it clear to the boys how horrible the show must have been.  
“Somebody had already call an ambulance. They just took him. We need to go.”  
Gareth and Fábio nodded while putting on the first thing they could grab. Álvaro followed them suit while the rest of the boys kept walking towards the exit.   
“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to man.”  
Álvaro looked at Gareth and shook violently his head. Mesut had put up with him for half of the night; of course he would go.   
“Let’s go. We’re loosing our time here.”  
Fábio’s voice took Gareth and Álvaro out from their silent conversation and they all sprinted down the corridor. 

SERGIO

The water was as hot as he could manage; almost burning. Sergio scrubbed his skin furiously hoping to erase any mark of what had happened that night. Of course he would never succeed; some invisible scars run deeper than big and ugly bruises. His tears soon mixed with the water that was cascading down his body and the memories of that awful night started to come back clearly into his mind.

The party was awesome. It was pretty much the same than any other year but Sergio thought it just got better and better. Hot chicks, great friends and lots of booze surrounded him without any adult around. Could it get better? Life’s Nirvana must be something like this, he thought. Later on they’d have jobs and families, commitments. The only good thing you get being an adult is money and the freedom it gives you but they already had that, didn’t they? They had the best without any counterpart. 

Of course, some people would say they weren’t that lucky. Where were their families? Kids their age shouldn’t be totally left alone. Maybe they shouldn’t but they sure as hell didn’t mind. No family meant freedom; it meant no expectations, no judgments, no control whatsoever. He was so grateful for the life he had. He was so glad his father was lucky enough to become a new rich. Yeah, Nirvana had to be something like this. 

It was going so well, thought Sergio while crying in the shower. It was being an amazing night. Why did he have to crash it? Why did that stupid kid have to make an apparition? 

He turned his head to the side and saw Cristiano looking confused. What was he looking at? What had caught his attention? Sergio expected an exotic beauty to appear before his eyes but the sight he got was totally different. The Turkish boy was kissing the new one, the blond that liked so much to break havoc. It was the second time he took his toy boy from him. Cristiano was soon devouring a girl’s mouth and Sergio wondered for a brief moment if it was some kind of reaction to what he had just seen. In any case, he stopped looking too soon in order to realize the kiss had been so short and innocent. The Turkish had left a confused blond behind him who didn’t look as thrilled as him. Maybe it had been the booze or maybe not; but Sergio exited discreetly the party following the brunette until they were left alone in a corridor. The younger boy hadn’t noticed the stronger one following him until he heard his voice. 

“You’ve got a new master, whore?”  
He could remember Mesut’s back tensing but the boy kept going.  
“Where do you think you’re going?”  
He sighed.  
“It’s a party Sergio. Could you leave me alone for a day? Tomorrow you can go back to abuse me as much as you like.”  
Something had shifted. Sure the boy still shook upon hearing Sergio’s voice but he would have never answered like that before. What the hell was wrong?  
“We’re so brave tonight Mesut, aren’t we? It’s your new lover that gives you so much courage?”  
In any normal day, Mesut would have kept going but it hadn’t been a normal day. He turned around and faced Sergio.  
“What if it’s the case? What the hell do you want from me Sergio?”  
He had been taken aback by the boy’s attitude. The alcohol he could smell on him probably fuelled the new rebellious spirit of the boy.  
“Tell me! We’ve been playing this game for years. What the hell is it that you want from me? What should I do? Take it in silence? Don’t you have something better to do than to be with me here?”

He wished he could make sense of what happened next. He wished he could explain why did what he did but he wasn’t able to; he wasn’t ready for it.

He had took the younger boy by the shoulders and kissed him deeply and forcedly. The boy hadn’t responded. Sergio had finally detached himself from Mesut to discover that the boy was openly laughing at his face.  
“So this was it? All this time, it was about this?”  
The laugh was louder each time and it pierced Sergio’s heart like a hundred of knives would.  
“It’s not going to happen. You can hit me but a kiss? It’s never going to happen.”

So he could kiss that stupid poor blond boy but not him? Sergio couldn’t take it. There were too many emotions at the same time and he didn’t know how to deal with emotions. He simply didn’t. Everything from then on had been a mix of blood, cries and tears. Everything had gone to hell.   
He fought back. For the first time ever he had fought back. Of course it wasn’t enough; Sergio was much stronger than him and the anger and hurt he felt multiplied his violence to an extent Mesut was unable of. The kicks intensified until Mesut’s screams and words became less and less audible. He still had the time to say one thing before everything went blank for him.  
“You can’t break me. Not anymore.” He whispered slowly with a raw voice and blood streaming from it.   
That had been it for Sergio. He threw the hardest kick and Mesut went unconscious. For the next ten minutes, it was Sergio’s frustration that expressed itself on the boy’s body.

The trail of memories finally came to and end while Sergio, free of blood by then, kept on crying in a broken fetal position. Mesut had been right; he hadn’t broken him, it was himself he had broken. 

 

At the hospital

Gareth couldn’t stand it any longer. He kept walking around hoping to evacuate some of the stress that was going on. They had been in the waiting room for two hours now without any answer from the doctors. At first they didn’t even want to talk to them, saying they weren’t family. It had taken a long time to convince them that they were the closes things to a family Mesut had in the area. It wasn’t like his family could afford a flight to the hospital; they had jobs to show up to if they wanted to keep eating. Kaká had been the one to tell Mesut’s family. They all agreed he would be the most delicate about it, if that were even possible. 

“Would you stop?”  
Gareth turned to Fábio who was the only one still awake aside from him.   
“I can’t stand the waiting.”  
“Neither can I but you’re making me more nervous with all that movement.”  
Gareth sighed and sat next to his roommate.  
“Do you think he’s going to be okay?”  
“I hope so. They let Kaká break the news to Mesut’s family so I guess he’ll be alive and functional by the end of this nightmare.”  
Gareth nodded.  
“Why would someone do that to him?”  
Fábio sighed loudly.  
“I don’t know and I don’t want to. I don’t want to believe there are reasons for that kind of behavior.”  
“Do you think it’s been someone from the school?”  
Fábio snorted.  
“There were people who weren’t from the school at the party but mostly girls; a girl didn’t do that to him.”  
“Do you think that maybe Ramos...”  
“I don’t know. I don’t want to speculate about it. Mesut will wake up and tell us what happened and who did that to him.”  
Gareth nodded and felt grateful for Fábio’s calm.   
“This school really sucks man. We can’t even go a party without shit happening.”  
The taller boy cracked the first smile of the night and nodded. That school was a very messed up place.

 

Leo & Iker

 

Iker couldn’t believe someone was knocking on his door at that time. Lately nobody talked to him at all; why bother him at such an hour? His surprise grew bigger when the door revealed a tired looking Leo in front of him. Iker could still remember the last time they had talked to each other; it hadn’t gone exactly well.

“I am so tired of your moral judgments. Who do you think you are?”  
“Who do YOU think YOU are!”  
“You go around acting as if you were god on earth. You think you’re better than any of us but you’re worst Iker. At least I don’t go around pretending to be a saint!”  
Iker shook his head. He was too tired of that whole thing called “group of friends.”  
“Did you leak it to the press or not?”  
“Excuse me?”  
“You heard me! Did you?”  
Iker’s silence told Leo everything he needed to know.  
“Since you’re so better than us, why don’t you go find new fucking friends?”  
That was it, thought Iker.  
“Gladly!”  
No one said a thing. No one said ever a thing against Leo’s wishes. 

That had been the end of many relationships; the end of the biggest chapter in Iker’s life.   
“Sorry to bother you but this is an emergency.”  
“What do you want?”  
“Sergio is out of control. I don’t know what’s happening but he’s going crazy.”  
“What happened?”  
“He almost kicked to death the German boy he likes abuse.”  
“What?”  
“You should have seen him. It was scary.”  
Iker shook his head. Sergio was a very passionate and reactive guy so he could be violent but to kick someone to death? That wasn’t like his ex best friend.  
“Why do you tell me this?”  
“He has been your so called best friend for years. I thought you’d like to know. Maybe you can do something for him. We won’t be able to do much more.”  
Iker knew Leo well enough to receive the message implied in that sentence. Iker nodded and Leo left without another word.   
This year had jus got more complicated, thought Iker.

 

Back at the hospital

By the time the doctors came to talk to them, the sun of a new day was already shining outside. The doctor motioned to Gareth and Fábio to come to a corner in order not to wake everyone else.   
“I’ll put you out of your misery right now. Your friend is going to be fine.”  
Gareth and Fábio released a sigh of relief they had been keeping in for way too long.   
“He’s got broken ribs, a broken arm and a lot of bruises and scratches but nothing that can harm him further. He was lucky; his spleen was very close to break. It’s a chance he got to the hospital; if he hadn’t, things would be much uglier.”  
Gareth and Fábio nodded feeling all the tiredness the adrenaline had calmed down for the last hours. The image of their beds began to be especially desirable for them.  
“He’s going to spend a few weeks here. Anyway, he won’t wake up until later so I suggest guys you all go home, sleep a bit, freshen up then you can come back and talk to him.”

 

Leo & Cristiano

 

Cristiano couldn’t understand how Sergio could be sleeping right now. He didn’t grasp that it was simply from exhaustion. He listened how Leo entered the room back and slipped into his bed. Where had he been?

“Where do you come from?”  
“Nowhere important. Let’s sleep Cris, I can’t stand anymore.”  
“Leo.”  
Leo sighed. He really wanted to sleep.  
“Yes?”  
“What are we going to do when he wakes up?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“When he wakes up, he’s going to tell it’s been Sergio.”  
Although Cristiano couldn’t see him, Leo nodded in the darkness.   
“That’s Sergio’s problem. The boy had not seen us in all night; we’re out of trouble.”  
Cristiano nodded reluctantly. He had already thrown his moral out of the window that day; his conscience could sleep for a little much longer. Moreover, Sergio had brought this up on himself. He was old enough to put himself into it then he was old enough to solve it. 

*** 

Ancelotti took the next paper; it was Ramos’. He didn’t expect much from him but he had to correct it, hadn’t he? It was his job after all; he was paid for it. He’d be able to go have lunch afterwards. His stomach was grumbling. 

Of course... We’d kill for love, wouldn’t we? Those images that we see everyday of people dying and getting killed or hurt are the consequence of love’s strength, aren’t they? It’s never about hate but about love; “I loved her too much”; “For the love of God” whoever the God is, the love for an idea, etc. 

Hope and love are very strong emotions; they can take you higher or as down as hell is. The best and the worst if what love has to offer; the best and the worst is what we have to offer. 

I, for love, did horrible things. Love can transform you into someone you’re not. The most innocent and good can become sadistic, revengeful and bad. Bitter love is worst than hate; bitter love is more powerful than hate. Bitter love could relive a dead person; dark magic is what it is. 

People always think about the good road but what about the bad one? From love to resentment, from resentment to hate and from hate to revenge; that’s love’s journey too.   
Sting used to say love can put back your life or break it for good and he was right. Love transforms us; into someone better or worst but it transforms us. That’s why we have to respect it. 

Don’t misunderstand me. I am not blaming what I’ve done on love. It was my responsibility. The first responsibility I have ever had and it has transformed me. 

I don’t know who I am anymore. The only thing I know is that I can’t go back and it scares the shit out of me. What if this monster I see in the mirror is the only future? What if karma does exist? What if I don’t like the answer? What if there are not answers but my reflection?

How’s that for a tragic flaw?

 

“Eventually we all have to accept full and total responsibility for our actions, everything we have done, and have not done. ”  
― Hubert Selby Jr., Requiem for a Dream


	10. Start with a lie and truth will end you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the wonderful support this story is getting. 
> 
> The main plots have now been launched so if you want to see more about someone who's not appearing too much, please let me know.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”   
― Lao Tzu

 

FÁBIO & MESUT

Fábio entered the room trying to be silent and not bother anyone else. When he saw Mesut was awake, he nodded at him and was welcomed with a bright smile.  
“Hey! I thought you weren’t going to come.”  
“Of course I’d come. I just thought you needed some rest since the guys came by this morning.”  
Mesut nodded. He was delighted by the visit. Fábio took a seat next to Mesut’s bed.  
“How are you?”  
Mesut snorted.  
“Actually in horrible pain but, apparently, it’s a good sign. Everything aches man, if it wasn’t for the pills... I thank god for painkillers everyday now.”  
Fábio smiled, he was glad to see his friend had kept his humor.   
“Wait for rehabilitation’s pain. It’s the worst.”  
“You sound like you’re an expert.”  
Fábio snorted and flashes of memories he wanted to forget kept coming back in his head.  
“Kind of. Mesut, I know it’s been two days and you may not want to talk about it but what the hell happened? One minute you were at the party and the next thing I know is Silva crying hysterically because you’ve be taken to the hospital.”  
Mesut sighed. His silence seemed enough of a hint to Fábio.  
“Fine, we don’t have to talk about it.”  
Mesut looked at Fábio and felt the same rush of adrenaline he had felt while his encounter with Sergio’s. It was called inspiration, he thought.   
“No, I want to.”  
Fábio looked up surprised; this wasn’t the same boy he had met not so much ago.  
“I’ve been on the silence’s side for way too long. Silence is for victims and I don’t want to be one any longer.”  
Fábio nodded encouraging Mesut’s to keep going.  
“It was Ramos. He beat me up.”  
Fábio could feel his fists clenching and his heart rate speeding up. He should kill that bastard.   
“Why?”  
Mesut hesitated for a second. Should he tell the entire story?   
“I don’t know. Bullies don’t need reasons, do they?”  
Fábio shook his head. He was right; Ramos’ behavior didn’t deserve any reasons.   
“But this time he beat you so bad...”  
Mesut nodded.  
“That was because of you.”  
Fábio’s head shot up; what was he saying?  
“Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that. What I wanted to say is that this time I stood up to him. He got angrier because of it, that’s why he beat me up so hard this time.”  
Fábio looked at Mesut dumbfounded. He must have missed something.  
“You were right. I couldn’t let him do whatever he wanted to me without reacting. I would never have done it without you. You’ve already changed my life.”  
Fábio snorted.  
“Yes, I have put you in a hospital bed with a multitude of broken things. That’s great.”  
Mesut was unable to see the seriousness and guilt hanging on Fábio’s words and laughed it off as a joke.   
“You have to report what he did.”  
“I know.”

 

LEO & CRISTIANO

 

“Have you heard about Özil? Sergio went really crazy on him.”  
Leo sighed and nodded at Cristiano.  
“I know. He is lucky the guy just got a few broken things out of it.”  
“He’s so going to talk. There’s no way someone would do that to you and not talk about it.  
“Like I said to you, it’s not our problem. Cris, we need to shut the hell up about this, okay? That night didn’t exist. We weren’t there. We didn’t see a thing.”  
Cristiano nodded urgently.  
“What if Sergio says we were?”  
“I’ll talk to him but even if he did, who would believe him?”  
Cristiano sighed and stood flat against his locker.  
“Why do you think he did it?”  
Leo kept taking in and putting off books.  
“I don’t care. There’s no reason for that kind of behavior. I am not a saint whatsoever but what he did is off limits.”  
“I’m not saying there is a justification for what he did but there has to be an explanation. You don’t go around abusing people like that for no reason.”  
Leo snorted. He had always found Cristiano’s innocence very cute but it never ceased to amaze him how candid his best friend could be.  
“Yes you can; it’s called being a psychopath.”  
Cristiano smiled at Leo’s black humor.   
“Let’s forget about it, okay? The boy is alive and fine which is good news.”  
“We’re not doing another party anytime soon, right?”  
“Of course we are, we just won’t be inviting Sergio over.”

 

GARETH & FÁBIO

“What’s up man? You’ve been moody since you’ve been to the hospital.”  
Fábio sighed and lay on his bed.  
“Mesut told me it was Ramos.”  
Gareth sighed and punched his pillow.  
“Fucking piece of shit! I knew it!”  
“Mesut stood up to him. He fought back. That’s why he is in such a poor condition.”  
Gareth shook his head.   
“He said it was because of me. He stood up because of me.”  
Fábio’s roommate turned to look at him and sat on the bed he was laying on.   
“You feel guilty.”  
“Maybe I was wrong. Maybe things were better the way they were. If Mesut had just taken it, like always, he would be fine right now.”  
Gareth sighed and asked Fábio to sit up as well.   
“I’ve known Mesut for as long as he’s been here. Not once have I seen him as great as I’ve seen him this morning. Yes, he was lying on a hospital bed with broken bones but he was proud. He has spent the last two years hiding in the corners and avoiding Ramos. He has been ashamed. He has felt worthless but not today Fáb. Today I saw a boy whose self-confidence was coming back.”  
Fábio sighed.  
“Is it worthy? He could at least have waited and train a bit in order to have a chance at the fight.”  
Gareth laughed at Fábio’s remark.   
“Mesut is way happier since you’re here. You’ve gave him back proud Fábio, I believe it is worth a few broken ribs.”  
Gareth hugged his friend tightly in order to show his support when the door to the room opened itself. Kaká, who hadn’t listened to the conversation, was shocked at the image that welcomed him; Gareth and Fábio locked in a tight embrace on a bed.   
“Oh, hey Ricardo. Do you want something?”  
“It can wait. Sorry to interrupt.”

 

LEO & SERGIO & THE BOYS

 

“Sergio, we need to talk.”  
Sergio followed Leo in silence while Neymar and Marcelo looked at each other surprised. Cristiano coughed slightly and looked aside. Marcelo then turned to a cold looking Robin.  
“Is there something we need to know? Looks like there’s been a funeral and we haven’t been invited!”  
Although Neymar did laugh at his best friend’s joke, Cristiano and Robin’s stared stopped them both.   
“Nothing important. Why don’t we go to play for a little while? I could use an extra training session.”  
Neymar and Marcelo nodded excitedly and followed suit while Cristiano thanked Robin with his eyes for his fast reaction. On the other side of the school, an important conversation was now happening.  
“Sergio, you know we have your back. Don’t you?”  
Sergio nodded.  
“Last year, with the whole logia thing, we took your side. Didn’t we?”  
Sergio kept on nodding.  
“The other night we were there for you. Weren’t we?”  
“Absolutely and I am so grateful for that. You all are great friends.”  
“It’s only normal that you have our backs as well, isn’t it?”  
Sergio nodded energetically. The last thing he need was to lose his friends.  
“You’re lucky the boy is fine but he may talk about what you did.”  
Sergio looked down. He had thought about the possibility. He knew he had it coming.   
“If he does, we’d like for you to keep silence about our... involvement in the whole issue. We can’t risk our family reputations now, can we? You know how our parents can be.”  
Sergio nodded and sighed.  
“I do Leo and you don’t need to worry about it. I’ll never say anything. I promise.”  
Leo smiled and put an arm around Sergio.  
“Good, I knew we could count on you.”

 

KAKÁ & FÁBIO

Kaká was eating his lunch peacefully when someone popped up to his side. He turned around and didn’t hide his disappointment upon seeing who it was.  
“Oh, it’s you.”  
“Well, sorry for being just my old self. Who were you expecting Ricardo? You majesty the queen maybe?”  
Kaká would have smiled at Fábio’s joke if his day hadn’t been so horrible.  
“Or maybe just a certain Gareth...”  
If looks could kill, Fábio suspected he would have die on the spot.  
“Do you think it’s funny?”  
He looked at Kaká as if he was crazy; what was wrong with him?  
“Hmmm actually yes, I find myself pretty funny most of the time.”  
Kaká dropped his fork on the table and Fábio thanked god it wasn’t a knife. He had never seen Kaká mad before. So it could happen; it wasn’t only one of Wayne’s myths.   
“Look, I deserve that Gareth doesn’t want to be with me and I have to respect it but that’s it! I’m glad if you make him happy but knowing how I feel for him, could you please have at least the decency of being discreet about it?”  
Fábio knew it wasn’t a good idea to explode in laughter in front of a person who looked so angry but it was a physiological reaction; he couldn’t avoid it. He and Gareth together as a couple? Apparently Messi and Cristiano weren’t the only ones on drugs in that school.   
“I’m sorry but that’s just so ridiculous!”   
Those were the only words Fábio was able to utter between his fits of hysterical laughter.   
“You... You’re not together?”  
He laughed harder.  
“Of course not! Why the hell do you think so?”  
Kaká’s anger was evaporating and being replaced by shame and insecurity.  
“Well, lately you spend a lot of time together and I saw you so close today that I thought...”  
Fábio could finally stop laughing and took Kaká by the shoulders.  
“I love Gareth; he’s my best mate here but that’s it. I’d never look at him that way and neither would he look at me as a love interest. And even if the world collapsed down and we did, I’d never do that to you.”  
Kaká nodded and was flooded with relief.  
“I was pretty stupid, huh?”  
“Pretty much yeah but we all are when it comes to that kind of things.”  
Kaká looked down ashamed and smiled at his friend.  
“So who is it then?”  
“Huh?”  
“I’ve been looking at you. There’s something in your eyes. There has to be somebody.”  
Fábio shook his head.  
“Nonsense.”  
His eyes, however, caught onto someone as he denied Kaká’s claim. When the Brazilian followed Fábio’s stare, he couldn’t believe what he saw. He didn’t say a thing but he hope deep inside to be wrong; otherwise his friend would suffer a lot that year. 

 

SERGIO & IKER

“Before you go and kick someone almost to death, come and talk to me okay?”  
Sergio’s head shot up and he was truly surprised when he saw Iker standing by the door. They hadn’t talked since their last discussion, when Sergio had left the room they shared.   
“What are you doing here?”  
“A little bird told me you had some issues.”  
Sergio sighed.  
“I don’t want you here.”  
“Yeah, I don’t think you have much of a choice right now.”  
Iker entered the room and sat next to Sergio on the bed.  
“What happened? What the hell happened for you to lose your head like that?”  
“Nothing happened!”  
Iker sighed.  
“Sergio, you are not like this.”  
“Maybe I picked it up upon you last year, huh?”  
Iker winced at Sergio’s words.  
“I know my choices weren’t the smartest last year but I’m not the one who beat a boy at a party.”  
Iker took Sergio’s chin and forced him to look at him.  
“I may not be your favorite person at the moment but I am still your best friend. Nobody knows you like I do. You can talk to me Sergio. What’s going on?”  
Maybe it was the sheer sincerity in Iker’s eyes or just the truth of his actions weighing down onto him but at that moment something broke in Sergio. The rest of the conversation was made of tears and dark confessions. Iker kept hugging him and whispering in his ear that everything would be fine. As he rocked him down and forth, he promised he wouldn’t let him down.   
“You need help man but that’s okay, we’ll get you help.”

 

CRISTIANO & FÁBIO

He couldn’t resist it. Cristiano approached Fábio slowly. How would he react after what happened between them at the party? Although he was ready for a plethora of reactions, he didn’t see coming the blondes’ one. 

“Happy about what your friend did?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ramos was the one who hurt Mesut but you already know that, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what happened. Leo took me to bed and I slept the whole night.”

Fábio looked at Cristiano trying to decipher his expression. Was he saying the truth? Then he realized it wasn’t his place to know. His father used to say to him: the best way to find out if you can trust people is to trust them. Fábio understood now that it wasn’t the best way but the only one. Was Cristiano lying? He didn’t know but it wasn’t his problem; it was Cristiano’s problem. It was about Cristiano and himself; his honesty and the value of his word. 

“Don’t you believe me?”

Fábio sighed before answering. If he was totally sincere, his rational side was having a hard time believing Cristiano. Sergio was not only his friend but his roommate; he must have gone back to his room at some point. On another hand, Cristiano was still a bit wasted when Fábio had last seen him. Cristiano’s version was not impossible at all. His heart was guided by the strong desire to believe him. The boy he had seen last night couldn’t lie about something like that. He couldn’t leave Mesut in front of a door without taking him to the hospital. He just couldn’t. 

“I don’t like liars.”

“Are you saying I’m lying, then?”

Fábio shook his head.

“If you say you don’t know anything about the matter; then you don’t know anything. I promised you to not let you down, remember? Maybe you were too wasted to remember that.”

Fábio’s smile broke Cristiano’s heart. Of course he remembered; he remembered every word. Sooner or later he’ll know; that’s what a little voice repeated over and over again in Cristiano’s head. He knew it wasn’t a good idea to lie but what could he do? If he said everything that had happened that night, Fábio wouldn’t look at him twice. He’d loose him before having him; he’d loose the possibility of him before having been able to explore it. He didn’t want to loose the chance so he did something that could only backfire at him. 

“Thank you.”

Fábio nodded and they soon fell into light chat about everything and nothing at all; everything felt so easy between them when the outside world and its inhabitants disappeared.

 

LEO & MESSI

 

“What the hell were you doing with that guy? First at the party and now this?”  
Cristiano looked at Leo dumbfounded. He hadn’t an answer to that.  
“I though you said he was a crazy revolutionary kid and you couldn’t stand him. Actually you said so like two days ago.”  
Quick, thought Cristiano. Recompose yourself.  
“I still do! He is so stubborn!”  
Leo ogled him curiously.   
“Then why do you hang out with him?”  
Cristiano sighed and sat next to Leo.  
“He knows about Sergio.”  
“What?! How?”  
“Özil told him.”  
“Wow.”  
“Yeah, and he also knows about the drugs.”  
“What?”  
“He was the one to help me at the party, remember?”  
Leo nodded. “That’s why you were with him.”  
“He could be dangerous to us. I thought that maybe I could make sure he doesn’t look into our things further.”  
“And how exactly do you intend to do that?”  
“Seducing him.”  
Leo looked at Cristiano and exploded in laughter.  
“What’s so funny about it?”  
“I’m sorry Cris but you don’t stand a chance. They guy hates your guts! He wouldn’t look at you twice in that aspect.”  
Cristiano’s ego felt slightly bruised.  
“May I remind you that I am the king of hearts of this school? I am handsome, witty and charming.”  
“Humble, don’t forget to say how humble you are too.”  
Cristiano’s death glare stopped Leo’s smile.  
“I am not doubting you seduction potential but he’s not a normal guy; he’s crazy.”  
“Wanna bet?”  
Leo couldn’t refuse. It wasn’t his style.  
“If you get him to date, I’ll give you the football ball.”  
“The one with Maradonna’s signature on it?”  
“That one. If I win, which I will, I get Pelé’s signed shirt.”  
“Deal.”

“People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I’ve learned is that a lie is an act of self-abdication, because one surrenders one’s reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one’s master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person’s view requires to be faked…The man who lies to the world, is the world’s slave from then on…There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction, and a white lie is the blackest of all.”   
― Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll just say one thing: Cris may be hot, witty and charming but he's definitely not very bright. Is he?


	11. Secrets, trust and a bit of… love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silva and Villa have another… "encounter".  
> Cristiano gets news from his dad and finds consolation in Fábio's arms.   
> Neymar and Marcelo think they're genius (yes, that's very dangerous).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so grateful for the loads of love this story is receiving.
> 
> You all really make me want to update so fast and keep going :)
> 
> Thank you very much.

“I thought about how there are two types of secrets: the kind you want to keep in, and the kind you don't dare to let out.”   
― Ally Carter, Don't Judge a Girl by Her Cover

SILVA & VILLA

“Long time not to see.”  
Silva’s heart speeded up. He could recognize that voice anywhere. The chills were already running through his body.   
“Did you think I had forgotten about you?”  
Silva knew he should turn around. He didn’t have much of a choice anyway.  
“Come on Bambi, turn around and come see me. Although you can always just come.”  
The way Villa said that last word didn’t leave much to the imagination. Silva slowly turned around and was as impressed as always. The older boy was smirking at him as a cat contemplating his dinner. He was a true predator; subtle, manipulative and charismatic. If he were a literary character, thought Silva, Villa would be Shakespeare’s Tybalt.   
“Have you missed me? I am sorry I couldn’t pay you a visit during the party but I was kind of busy. You’re not my only entertainment, you know?”  
Silva swallowed and felt his muscles being frozen to the spot. He couldn’t have been able to move if his life has depended on it. Villa slowly approached him, knowing very well his pray was trapped. It honestly looked like a National Geographic’s scene; a big spider was walking towards the poor butterfly glued in its cobweb.   
“I’ve heard about what happened to your little friend.” Villa sighed feigning being truthfully moved by the situation. “You should have learned from it; pretty boys like you shouldn’t stroll down the corridors alone.” His hand slowly caress Silva’s ear while smiling like a Cheshire cat. “You’re so lucky I’m not a bad as others or maybe you like it more brutal?”  
He should do something, thought Silva. If Mesut could, why couldn’t he?  
“Cat got your tongue?”  
Villa’s penetrating gaze was stifling. Silva simply couldn’t act.   
“Oh wait, I am the cat! I should be the one getting your tongue.”  
Within a second Villa’s tongue was shoved down Silva’s throat no giving him a choice. His lips were demanding and forceful. Silva was completely dominated for the few minutes the kiss lasted. When it ended, Villa’s arms sneaked around Silva’s waist.  
“It had been way too long, don’t you think? We need to finish what we started at the end of last year someday, huh? Don’t you remember that party?”  
Silva could feel himself blushing. Actually blushing was the understatement of the century; he was literally as red as Rudolph’s nose. He had tried everything to forget about that night but Villa didn’t let him to.   
“Oh, it looks like I really got your tongue, didn’t I?”  
Villa could feel Silva almost hyperventilating and let him go.   
“Are you going to keep standing there?”  
Silva’s brain came back to work at that exact moment and gave him a clear order: to get away as fucking fast as possible. He finally obeyed and missed Villa laughing lightly whispering about how utterly stupid he was; stupid but cute nonetheless.

LEO

“You again?”  
“Our leader wants to talk to you.”  
Leo sighed tiredly. Would this week never end?  
“I have nothing to say to your leader.”  
“He wants you and your friends in.”  
“I’ve already told him I don’t want to be in his fucking club.”  
The other man took Leo by the throat and threw him to the floor.  
“Show a bit of respect. It’s not a club. It’s the logia. We’re powerful.”  
Leo got up from the floor and stood up to his attacker.   
“So am I. I don’t bother you; stop bothering me. I’m not interested.”  
“Sooner or later, you will be.”  
Leo snorted.  
“Yeah, keep on dreaming.”

SERGIO & CRISTIANO

The two boys were in their room chilling out. The day had been very long; in their case the whole week had been unbearable.   
“I’ve been thinking about everything, you know?”  
Cristiano felt scared right away. Sergio thinking was against nature, nothing good could come of it.   
“Huh, really? And what conclusions have you reached?”  
“Everything is that stupid boy’s fault. Since the blond arrived here, everything has gone to hell.”  
Cristiano’s heart didn’t jump out of his chest. No, really, he didn’t instantly imagine Sergio taking his anger out on Fábio. He didn’t feel the rush to go and punch his friend just for thinking about hurting Fábio. Not at all; Cristiano stayed perfectly calm. At least that’s what he desperately tried to convince himself of.   
“Why would you say that?”  
“Come on! He’s always putting his nose where it’s not demanded. We were better off without him.”  
“Just don’t create problems man. You have enough on your plate as it is.”  
“I could ask the guys to scare him off a bit. Nothing big but enough for him to learn his place.”  
Cristiano really didn’t care but he had to protect his bet, hadn’t he? He couldn’t seduce Fábio if Sergio put him on a bed in the hospital next to Özil.   
“Leave him alone, would you?”  
“Why do you care?”  
Cristiano sighed and walked to Sergio.  
“I don’t care about him, I care about you. You must remain as discreet as you can. Remember what Leo told you. Just don’t do anything for a while.”  
Cristiano prayed this approach would work because he would have to find something more drastic otherwise.  
Sergio sighed and hugged his friend. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t go around fucking people up everyday. I am lucky to have friends like you.”

ÁLVARO & IKER

“What the fuck are you doing here?”  
Álvaro was glad he was alone in his room, just in case the urge to punch Casillas overcomes him in the last minute.  
“May I come in?”  
“Are you going to try and beat me up like last time?”  
“I didn’t do such a thing.”  
Álvaro snorted.  
“No, you just commanded it which was so much better.”  
Iker sighed.  
“It’s about Sergio.”  
“Oh great, another fucker I don’t care about! Get out.”  
As the door was closing on itself, Iker kept it open with a hard kick on it.  
“Come on man.”  
“You betrayed us! I don’t stand betrayal.”  
“Sergio didn’t do such a thing but he may end up doing just that.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I’m afraid man. I need Raúl’s number.”  
Álvaro turned around and stared hard at Iker. Saying that name was just like saying Voldemort. 

KAKÁ & FÁBIO

“You’re spending a lot of time with him.”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
Kaká laughed and sat next to Fábio.  
“Come on, you can tell me. I am the understanding one of the band after all.”  
“I really don’t know what you’re talking about man.”  
“You like Cristiano.”  
Fábio turned around and looked at Kaká.  
“Of course I don’t.”  
“Yes, you do.”  
“No, I don’t. He’s just a stupid daddy’s boy who thinks he’s so pretty.”  
“Yeah but he’s not the only one who thinks he’s so pretty, is he?”  
Kaká poked Fábio’s side lightly and smiled at him.  
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. He’s not even my type.”  
Kaká laughed at the expression of distress on Fábio’s face.  
“I won’t judge you.”  
“I know he’s a jerk but he’s kinda sweet too.”  
Kaká put his arm around Fábio’s shoulders.  
“Just be careful, okay? I wouldn’t like seeing you hurt.”  
Fábio nodded at his friend and hugged him. He needed a bit of support. 

SILVA & MESUT

“Thanks for visiting man, without all of you I would be going crazy here.”  
Silva nodded without really listening to what his friend had to say. His head was somewhere else.   
“... Then I’ll go to Mexico, buy some drug and a gun and just go being a cowboy to the USA.”  
“Huh, huh. That sounds great man.  
Mesut had to laugh before throwing his Marca to his friend’s head.  
“What was that for?”  
“You’re not listening to a thing I say! Why don’t you tell me what’s actually bothering you so we can have a real conversation here?”  
Silva sighed.   
“I don’t know where to begin.”  
“Well, skip to the end; that will make it more original.”  
“What would you if something was obsessing you? Like you can’t eat, study or play anymore.”  
“Like a secret?”  
Silva felt himself turning white.  
“Exactly, like a secret.”  
Mesut nodded.  
“You know, if I’ve learned something with all of this is that you can’t keep things bottled up forever. Do you remember how I would have eczema and nightmares?”  
Silva nodded.  
“They’re gone now. I think the things I was keeping inside manifested through those things. They were like: we’re going to get out either way.”  
“Care to elaborate?”  
Mesut laughed and nodded.  
“I stood up to fucking Sergio Ramos man! I laughed at him, I called him on his shit and I kicked back. That had to be somewhere inside me for all this time. Look, the longer you hold the secret, the most spectacular will be its revelation. It’s like shaking up a bottle of Coke.”  
Silva nodded, not being at all reassured by his friend’s words.   
“Silva, everyone is noticing you know?”  
Silva nodded once again, unable to find the words.  
“When everybody starts to notice that you have a secret, it usually means the secret has not much time left. Don’t worry though; once the cat is out of the box, you’ll be asking yourself why the hell you kept it locked for so long.”  
“You’re not going to ask me what it is?”  
“I wanted to but I’ve been thinking that you have the right to keep secrets. Just know that whenever you’re ready, I’m here so you can share it. I’ll understand.”  
“What if you don’t?”  
“I’m your friend; I understand even when I don’t understand.”  
Silva smiled for the first time of the day. 

 

CRISTIANO & DAD

If something could surprise Cristiano, it was his father waiting for him in the director’s office. He had seen more of his father in the last month than in the last two years and it scared him. It was never good, was it?  
“Come here son, give me a hug!”  
Cristiano doubtfully obeyed before sitting next to his father.  
“What are you doing here?”  
“Is that a way to greet your old good father?”  
“Sorry, it’s just that I’m surprised. Shouldn’t you be campaigning?”   
His father sighed.  
“I should; sadly, I need to talk to you about something.”  
Cristiano nodded and listened carefully.  
“Your mom has abandoned our home son. She has left and has filled for divorce.”  
Cristiano couldn’t believe his ears. His mother had left?  
“She didn’t tell me anything.”  
His father approached him and took him by his shoulders.  
“She left for Madrid a few days ago. I told her she should, at least, have the decency to talk to you but I see she didn’t listen. I am sorry son.”  
“A few days?”  
“I should have told you sooner but I needed to think how to break it off to you.”  
Cristiano couldn’t talk or move, for that matter. He simply couldn’t believe it.   
“There’s something more son.”  
Cristiano’s head shot up. There was more? He couldn’t take anymore.   
“She wants our money. She has asked for half our money and the house. The only thing she’s ready to give up is your custody.”  
Cristiano’s mind went blank. Was he that worthless that even his own mom didn’t want him?  
“She’s threatened to feed a lot of lies to the media if I don’t give her what she asks for.”  
“How could she?”  
“There’s a way to stop her though.”   
“Which one?”  
“Well... if we proved she’s mentally unstable, which she clearly is anyway, we wouldn’t have any problem. If you confirmed my version, it would work.”  
“What do I have to say?”  
“That she wasn’t the best of mothers.”  
“But she was. Maybe there are reasons to explain her behavior.”  
“Like me being the devil?”  
Cristiano looked away, not wanting to confirm his father question. He had seen how his parents’ relationship worked; it wasn’t pretty.   
“I haven’t always been the best husband, it’s true but if I am the devil and she’s willing to leave you with me without a fight, what does that make her?”  
Point taken, thought Cristiano.  
“Look, I know this whole thing is overwhelming and I don’t want you to feel pressured. It doesn’t matter what you do; unlike her, I’ll always be there for you. I just want you to think about it. Take your time, would you?”  
Cristiano nodded and said goodbye to his dad before leaving the director’s office and crumble down somewhere on the fresh grass. 

NEYMAR & MARCELO

“Stop it already! You’re not paying attention to FIFA man! Something is very wrong when you don’t pay attention to Play station.”  
Neymar sighed.  
“I am sorry man. I’m a bit out of it.”  
Marcelo sighed, through the command and sat next to his best friend.  
“Messi again?”  
“Who else? Are there more persons on the earth?”  
“I’m afraid you wouldn’t like the answer to the question.”  
“He doesn’t take me seriously. I need him to take me seriously.”  
Marcelo snorted.  
“Good luck with that. Leo doesn’t take anybody seriously.”  
“That’s not true. He respects the rest of the guys but he thinks I am just a baby clown who doesn’t play bad football but not that good yet either.”  
“Well, you are younger than him.”  
Neymar glared at his friend.  
“Marcelo, this is exactly why no one takes us seriously!”  
Marcelo sighed and made a sad face.  
“Sorry for trying to be funny.”  
“I need him to see me as a tougher guy, more manly, more powerful and impressive.”  
“Well I suggest you put on a few pounds to start with and I’m not even kidding.”  
“There must be a way for him to look at me as an equal.”  
Marcelo sighed and scratched his head thinking hard.  
“Well, there is this kind of secret society going on in the school. They never talk about it but I’ve always believed the guys are involved. It only admits special people and you have to go through initiation and everything. The best of the best.”  
Neymar shot up from his spot and looked at Marcelo as if he was genius.   
“That’s it! That could impress him! If I entered in that thing all by myself I wouldn’t look like a such a kid, huh?”  
Marcelo nodded.  
“It could be; you never really know with Leo. He isn’t the most talkative of persons.”  
“It could help you too...”  
“Pardon me?”  
“With Cristiano! If you want him to ever look at you as something more than the funny friend, you should do something.”  
Marcelo nodded.  
“You may be right. I have nothing to lose anyway.”  
“How do we do it?”  
“I don’t know. I think there’s a guy in my class that may be in. He could help us.”  
“Perfect. First thing in the morning tomorrow, you go talk to him.”

FÁBIO & CRISTIANO

He should have passed his way but, when he saw Cristiano sitting on the grass, Cristiano could simply not avoid it. He was like a magnet to him; especially when he looked down. He carefully sat down next him without saying a word. If Cristiano wanted to talk, he would.  
“Today I’ve been betrayed for the first time of my life. A real betrayal.”  
Fábio looked at Cristiano whose yes were fixated on the full moon starring in the sky that night.  
“Welcome to the real world then.”  
“I just don’t get it. I would have happily put my legs on the line to show how sure of her I was.”  
“Oh, we’re talking about a girl then?”  
Fábio couldn’t hide the bit of disappointment running through him in his voice while the ghost of a smile grazed Cristiano’s face upon hearing those words.  
“Worst, a mother. I was so sure of her love for me.”  
Fábio nodded in silence.  
“She has left home and filled for a divorce not even asking for my custody.”  
“Have talked to her?”  
“She hasn’t talked to me.”  
“How do you know then?”  
“My father told me.”  
“Does it sound like her? I don’t know your mother but the other day, from afar, she looked to care about you very much.”  
Cristiano snorted.  
“That’s what I thought.”  
Fábio sighed.  
“Look, I’m not saying your father is lying or anything like it but there’s always two versions about a story of two. You should try and check it with your mother. Has she been good to you until now?”  
“Yes, she has. She’s been the best.”  
“Then she deserves a little credit, don’t you think? When people do things right for a long time, they deserve a little credit.”  
Cristiano looked at Fábio and, after analyzing his face for a few seconds, nodded.  
“It’s just, if you can’t trust your parents, who can you trust?”  
It was Fábio’s turn to snort.  
“I don’t know man. In my world you get betrayed way faster than in yours. I don’t think I trust anybody anymore. I think it’s already been a long time since I’ve trust somebody.”  
Cristiano turned around to look at Fábio.  
“But you’re barely fifteen.”  
“So? It’s not about how many years there are in your life but about how much life there is in your years. It’s like you’re discovering ugly things; they’ve been in my background for a long time now.”  
Cristiano looked down and sighed. He felt some kind of pain hearing those words; he also felt the urge to hug the blond and never let go, to be that person he could trust.   
“It’s just, I feel so unworthy. Nobody cares. I feel I’ve just lost the person who loved me the most. Nobody cares anymore. I know I’m not perfect but am I that horrible?”  
Fábio swallowed; it was now or never. There are moments like that in life; you either take the chance or let it slip through your fingers and kiss it goodbye. That night he felt a rush of adrenaline through his veins; his rational side didn’t agree but his stomach kept telling him the boy next to him was something special, something he couldn’t just let go.  
“That’s not true.”  
“What?”  
“That nobody cares, that’s not true. I do. I care.”  
Those weren’t the most poetic words someone had ever said to Cristiano; they were so much better than that. They weren’t made to be beautiful; they were made to be true. They felt raw and utterly true so he let the other boy approach him, take his face between his long fingers and slowly kiss him. The kiss was unlike anything else he had experienced and Cristiano was beginning to think that it was a Fábio’s thing to make everything unique. People had shared a multitude of feelings with Cristiano: lust, jealousy, interest, desire but this was something new. It tasted like unaltered tenderness. It tasted like the kiss of somebody who genuinely cared. No further interests hidden. No false promises underneath; just tenderness, tenderness for him. It could be possible, thought Cristiano, that the boy who didn’t seem to believe in the world much could become his own very selfish reason to believe in it for a bit longer. 

“Falling in love is very real, but I used to shake my head when people talked about soul mates, poor deluded individuals grasping at some supernatural ideal not intended for mortals but sounded pretty in a poetry book. Then, we met, and everything changed, the cynic has become the converted, the sceptic, an ardent zealot.”   
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was cute, wasn't it?


	12. Dirty, dirty secrets…

“I don’t believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking like something, like it. That’s what’s wrong with our generation: that residual punk rock guilt, like, “You’re not supposed to like that. That’s not fucking cool.” Don’t fucking think it’s not cool to like Britney Spears’ “Toxic.” It is cool to like Britney Spears’ “Toxic”! Why the fuck not? Fuck you! That’s who I am, goddamn it! That whole guilty pleasure thing is full of fucking shit.”  
― Dave Grohl

 

LEO & CRISTIANO

 

When Leo entered the room he thought he would puke instantly.  
“What the hell Cris? Has Julia Roberts a film to make in our room?”  
Petals of roses were scattered all over the beds and the floor, candles were lighted up and the table was laid. Cristiano was all pimped up –you could tell because of the amount of hair gel on his head- and smiling cheekily at Leo.  
“You know darling, we’ve been married for so long that you really don’t need to do these things anymore!”  
Cristiano exploded in laughter at Leo’s joke but he could not hide certain nervousness.  
“Do you think it’s too much?”  
“It depends. Are you trying to get into Barbie’s panties? If not, there may be too much pink all around.”  
Cristiano blushed and shook his head.  
“You’re right. What the hell was I thinking?”  
Leo watched amused how his best friend started to run all around the place changing the decoration as if his life depended on it.  
“Cris.”  
More movement.  
“Cris!”  
Not much calmer.  
“Cristiano! Stop it!”  
Cristiano dropped the candle he was holding and almost lighted up the room. Great, thought Leo, a fire was what they needed.  
“What’s going on?”  
Cristiano blushed again and looked to the floor.  
“It’s part of my operation of seduction. You know, about our bet.”  
Leo shook his head. Cristiano was able, when he wanted, to be very romantic and by romantic he meant sappy. This, however, was taking it to a whole new level.  
“Do you remember that you don’t really want to date him, right?”  
Cristiano nodded furiously.  
If he hadn’t known Cristiano so well, Leo would have swore he really was interested in the kid but that was impossible anyway.  
“You can always try and get him into your bed. Double win at the bet!”  
Cristiano blushed and kept on rearranging the table.  
“I would. He’s a stupid brat but a weirdly attractive one.”  
Leo’s best friend tried hard to ignore the rush of possessiveness that got hold of his tummy; he smiled at his friend’s remark making a mental note to not let Leo approach Fábio too much, just in case. 

 

SILVA & FÁBIO 

 

“May I talk to you?”  
Fábio’s head shot up in direction of Silva’s voice. He nodded and the boy entered the room in order to sit in front of him.  
“Álvaro and Gareth are not there?”  
“Nope, they are punished because they didn’t do their math homework. How pathetic is that man?”  
Silva smiled nervously and Fábio noticed the shaking of his hands.  
“What’s going on?”  
“I don’t know if I should tell you this.”  
Fábio dropped the guitar he was trying to play and left it aside. This seemed like a serious conversation.  
“You don’t know if you should but do you want to?”  
Silva hesitated for a moment before nodding.  
“Whatever it is, I’m not going to judge you.”  
Silva knew that; it was exactly the reason he had gone to Fábio in the first place.  
“Is it Villa?”  
“Yes and no.”  
Fábio looked at Silva puzzled; if he wanted help, he’ll need to elaborate a tad more.  
“It’s about Villa but it’s more than that. It’s about me; about who I am and who I don’t want to be.”  
“Who are you then?”  
“Not a victim. I am the opposite of a victim. I deserve everything that has been happening to me.”  
Fábio frowned; there was something he wasn’t grasping.  
“It all began two years ago. Villa kept playing me since the first day; approaching me, insinuating things, making dirty talk. He always made me uncomfortable and, at first, I was scared.”  
“Only at first?”  
“I discovered soon enough he wouldn’t do a thing to me. He doesn’t want to force his preys; he wants to make them surrender all by themselves.”  
Fábio was shocked by Silva’s speech; not as much as by what he was saying but at what it showed. He had thought Silva was a little fragile and scarred thing; the boy he had in front of him was scarred, but only of himself.  
“He makes me feel as his personal slut, you know? Only dirty desire where I’m just an object.”  
Fábio wanted to deny it; no, he didn’t know but he thought it would be better to acquiesce if he wanted to get to the bottom line of all of it.  
“I felt dirty whenever he came to me then one night everything changed.”  
Fábio nudged Silva’s hand encouraging him to continue.  
“It was last year’s final party. I was drunk out of my ass. I had never drink before and I didn’t know how to handle it.”  
“What happened then?”  
“I was scrolling down the corridor when Villa came up to me. We were alone. He behaved as usual. The alcohol made it all so blurred and fuzzy. It was ridiculously unreal.”  
Silva looked Fábio directly in the eye and, at that moment, the blond understood. He understood everything; of course Silva and Mesut had different stories, they had never behaved the same way.  
“You started it.”  
Silva nodded.  
“I don’t know what came over me but I kissed him. I’m not proud of it. It was the sloppiest kiss ever and it was my first; not the first kiss I would have liked.”  
“Did it go further?”  
Silva released a laugh he didn’t know he was holding back.  
“I don’t know. He responded to the kiss and we began to touch but I don’t remember anything else. I was too drunk for it. I woke up the next day in his bed, naked. I gathered my things and ran out as fast as possible.”  
Fábio nodded, understanding everything so much better.  
“He’s always talking about that night, insinuating things and I don’t even know if it’s true! I kiss a guy who treats me like shit and I don’t even remember if I fucking lost my virginity to him drunk out of my ass. I am way more disgusted by me than I am by him.”  
Silva starting crying and Fábio was fast to hug him.  
“Attraction is a very strange thing and alcohol disturbs it. Silva, you’re not a slut, okay? You just got too drunk and had a very bad first experience. It has happened to every one of us at some point.”  
“Aren’t you disgusted by me?”  
“Why should I? You didn’t do anything illegal. Villa, on the other hand, is another issue.”  
“He didn’t do anything I didn’t want to.”  
“We don’t know that. We don’t even know if you actually fucked him that night.”  
“The things he always says...”  
“Villa doesn’t have enough honor for his word to count for something. He may have been playing you all this time.”

 

THE LOGY

 

“Dear brothers, we are reunited here tonight to welcome two new members.”  
Marcelo and Neymar wanted to laugh; no, really, you would have wanted to laugh to. They were surrounded by a group of strange guys all dressed in black, gathered in a circle. Candles illuminated their shadows and the ambiance was, to say the least, pretty gothic.  
“Are you ready to enter the logy?”  
They both nodded. The boy who was talking left his place to a taller one who started his speech.  
“As the president of our antic organization, I am honored to receive these two new valuable members. The logy has, since the foundation of this school, protected it. This place is one of excellence; the elite’s sons gather here in order to create the links that will rule the world of tomorrow. Our mission is to protect this place from the poor, slag of the earth! Those granted boys have nothing to do here. If they can’t afford it, they should go somewhere else!”  
The assistance erupted into applauses while Marcelo and Neymar looked at each other, worried. It was true that they weren’t the nicest persons to the granted boys but they didn’t chase them down neither. A little sacrifice for the loves of their life, they thought.  
“Now, brothers, repeat with me the oath of the Logy.”  
“I promise to look out for my brothers in arms. I promise to protect the school of all the enemies that want to destroy it. I promise to extend my lineage above every other.”  
The boys repeated the oath and were proclaimed new members; almost, anyway.  
“Now you are part of the order but one thing has yet to be done. Your ritual process of initiation.”  
The perverse smile should have make the boys run away as fast as they could but they stayed there, expecting their new mission as Logy members. 

 

KAKÁ & MESUT

 

“What’s up? You seem to be far away.”  
Kaká looked at his friend and smiled.  
“I am here, by your side. I was just thinking of something I did.”  
Mesut looked at Kaká surprised.  
“You, saint of all saints, have done something?”  
“Do you think people change?”  
“I lack data here.”  
Kaká sighed.  
“Imagine you know something about somebody; another person comes in and you think she could use the information but should you give it to her?”  
“Why shouldn’t you?”  
“Because what if that person has changed?”  
Mesut nodded.  
“Is the person’s life in danger?”  
Kaká looked at Mesut as if he was a crazy person.  
“Of course not! I would never do that!”  
Mesut laughed. He knew that much.  
“Then let the person take the chance. Some things you have to do by yourself.”  
“What if the person has not changed?”  
Mesut shrugged.  
“When I got the grant to attend our school I was scared beyond belief. I asked my mother: “Mom, what if I fall?””  
Mesut laughed remembering those moments. So much has happened since them.  
“Do you know what she answered to me?”  
Kaká waited, expectant.  
“Oh my darling, but what if you fly?”  
Mesut smiled at Kaká and the boy nodded, understanding everything there was to understand. 

 

FERNANDO & CESC

 

“Do you think it’s too late to run away?”  
Cesc smiled at his best friend; Fernando’s humor, always better than last time!  
“I told you so.”  
Fernando smiled; he had to admit it, Cesc did tell him so.  
“I’m afraid it’s too late now.”  
“Everyone is so damn weird here. I don’t get it. They all hate each other but they all date each other; hospitals, mysteries... Can’t they be normal teenagers?”  
Cesc laughed.  
“I’m afraid this is what normal teenagers are. Let’s just keep ourselves out of it, okay? I’d like to keep being normal.  
Fernando nodded eagerly although deep down he knew that, sooner or later, everything would catch up to them. You either live like you think or you end up thinking as you live.

 

ÁLVARO & IKER

 

“I’ve called him. He says he’s coming this weekend.”  
Iker nodded thankfully.  
“There was no choice left.”  
Álvaro nodded and laughed.  
“What are you laughing about?”  
“I was just thinking how disappointed he’d be at what we’ve become.”  
Iker nodded sadly. He would be very disappointed.  
“Xabi is still sad, you know?”  
That caught Álvaro’s attention.  
“I didn’t think you talked to him.”  
“I don’t but I am in the same class as he is. He misses you. It’s pretty obvious.”  
Álvaro nodded. He missed him too.  
“I am sorry. I know you don’t want to hear it but, as much as there are some hate between us, I really am sorry about that. It is partly my fault.”  
Álvaro was grateful at Iker’s confession even if it didn’t change a thing.  
“It is partly mine too.”  
“You must really love him to stay away but maybe you’re underestimating him.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Xabi is grown up. You should give him the choice; tell him the truth and see where he stands.”  
“That would be an egoist thing to do but it doesn’t surprise me coming from you; you’ve always been the egoist one, haven’t you?”  
Iker snorted. A lot of hard feelings there.  
“I am but you’ve always be the mistrusting one, haven’t you? You may think what you’re doing is a proof of love, but it’s a proof of mistrust I much. I don’t think Xabi deserves it coming from you.”  
Iker left Álvaro thinking deeply; the weekend was going to be very interesting. 

 

Cristiano & Fábio

 

“Come on! Where are you taking me?”  
Cris smiled at Fábio’s impatience; he was being good enough seeing how Cris’ hands were blinding him.  
“Trust me.”  
They finally reached the room and Cristiano closed the door behind them. He slowly retired his hands and Fábio gasped in surprise.  
“What the hell?”  
“I thought that, instead of kissing on the grass, we could have an inside date for a change.”  
There, he had said it. The “D” world was out and the world had not yet come to an end.  
Fábio watched around confusedly and finally sat down. The dinner went well; their complicity as clear as ever.  
“You’re telling me you’re father had a conscience?”  
“Stop laughing at me! He did. When he was younger he was a true idealist; he wanted to change the world through politics.”  
Fábio couldn’t stop laughing; for some reason, the image of Cristiano’s father as a hippie came up in his mind and it was too much for him.  
“What about yours? I mean, I remember you telling me he was dead but...”  
“He was a fisherman; he got up at around three in the morning everyday of his life. He didn’t talk much but he was a hard worker. I never heard him complain; not once. He was rude and noble, as most of the men are around there. One day he sailed out, like every other day, but he didn’t come back. The sea had engulfed him and his crew.”  
Cristiano felt sadness creeping up.  
“It’s something pretty usual where I come from; sea port’s life.”  
“I shouldn’t complain as much as I do about everything.”  
Fábio looked at Cristiano in a way the other boy recognized immediately. He had studied the blond well enough during the past weeks to know that look; when he was truly passionate about something, his pupils dilated and the intensity of his eyes grew stronger. They weren’t brown eyes anymore; they were pools of brown faith.  
“You should complain! Complaining is what makes us better. Acceptance is good, conformism is to avoid.”  
Cristiano nodded, enhanced by the other’s words.  
“Things don’t seem to easy where you come from.”  
Fábio closed his eyes and remembered for a little while. There was the smell of the Atlantic, a smell so powerful that you could taste them; the loud and inappropriate words of the men going to work in the mornings; the courage mothers that would fight against anyone and the drugs, the urban battles, the police you knew were not there to protect you... but there was also Luz going to college every day without giving up, Mati being a doctor against all odds, the laughs and football games in the streets... It wasn’t a bad place; it was a complicated one. A place where you have to grow up fast; a place where you couldn’t be protected for long; a place where you needed to be able to count on yourself because, sooner or later, you were the only thing left to count on. He knew Cristiano would never wholly grasp it as he would never grasp Cristiano’s world; they were too far away from each other but it didn’t bother him that much.  
“I survived, didn’t I?”  
“And I’m glad you did.”  
Fábio blushed at the meaning of Cristiano’s smile. He was a tough boy but, for some reason, that boy got through his defenses so easily.  
“I’d like us to date.”  
The blond almost spilled his drink at the impromptu of Cristiano’s words.  
“I mean, don’t feel pressured but I like you. I like you quit a lot.”  
When he was saying those words, the bet was the farthest thing on his mind.  
“Don’t you feel the same?”  
Fábio smiled; was the question serious?  
“That’s not the problem.”  
“Then what it is?”  
“I have a hard time trusting people. Can I trust you?”  
Cristiano was taking aback by the fragility he suddenly could grasp in the boy’s eyes. He must already know what betrayal feels like, he thought. He took the boy’s hand and held it into his own.  
“I promise.”  
Cristiano was right; they didn’t kiss on the grass for once, his bed was much more comfy. 

 

“Love is giving someone the power to destroy you and trust they won’t.” Unknown.


	13. Breaking the status quo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mesut goes back to hell… I meant, school 
> 
> We learn more about Iker and Álvaro's past…
> 
> Cristiano and Fábio go public and not everybody is happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes a pretty long chapter, let me know what you think!

“Integrity is not a conditional word. It doesn't blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won't cheat, then you know he never will. Integrity is not a search for the rewards of integrity. Maybe all you ever get for it is the largest kick in the ass the world can provide. It is not supposed to be a productive asset.” 

― John D. MacDonald

 

MESUT AT THE HOSPITAL 

 

“No mom, I don’t need to go home.”

Mesut smiled to himself while hearing his mother’s rant. A few weeks ago he would have jumped into a plane back home and now, he wouldn’t leave if they forced him. 

“I am ok. I am not cured yet but I will be ok. It was just an accident.”

He hadn’t told his family the truth, why bother? They were far away and they couldn’t come see him; he would only have added to their sorrow. Moreover, it wasn’t as if he was alone. He had great friends; hospital had taught him that. 

“Yes, I’ll call everyday. Promise. Bye mom. I love you too.”

Fábio, who had waited patiently for the phone call to end by the door, entered the room. 

“Ready to go? The guys are outside, waiting for you.”

Mesut nodded at Fábio and sighed.

“Sure but will you give me a few minutes alone? I know it sounds weird but I think I need some kind of closure with this place.”

Fábio nodded and left the room without a word. 

Mesut closed his suitcase and sat on his bed. What an experience it had been! He was not the same boy who had entered that hospital room. No, he wouldn’t go back home now; he wouldn’t because he knew that there always be more Sergios around the world. He had understood that, in fact, the whole thing about Sergio had not been about him at all; it was about Mesut. If he didn’t change, bullies would keep coming his way and he couldn’t call mummy and daddy to the rescue. He was no child no more. He threw a last look around and promised himself that, whatever the future holds, he would never go back to the place he was before all of this happened. 

 

MEANWHILE, AT SCHOOL...

 

“It’s crazy. The years go by and this place hasn’t changed at all. I mean, I already have children and I still can see me here being fifteen.”

Álvaro smiled silently at Raúl’s remark. He could still remember being a kid and being a fan of him; hearing the legends about him that circulated through the halls of the school.

“Unfortunately, the dorms aren’t the only thing that have not changed.”

Rául turned around at the sound of Iker’s voice; he went to the man and engulfed him in a hug.

“Iker! How have you been man? God, I still remember you being barely a kid. I always believed you’d do great when growing up.”

Iker and Álvaro exchanged a silent conversation with their eyes. During an eternal instant, their childhood was the only remaining thing in their minds. They could see each other playing football outside; they could remember going to each other’s house for holydays and how their mothers would treat them both as sons; they could still share that first Real Madrid game they had attended. They could still relive the infinite afternoons under Madrid’s sun; the longest Sundays on earth and the most intense feeling of being carefree. 

Unfortunately, this kind of memories brought other less positive things; the reproaches, the mistakes, the distance they would never be able to fully close, the nostalgia of everything that could have been but never was and, now, never would be. When you are children, you live with the feeling that nothing is permanent until something permanent happens and your whole world changes. Once you’ve crossed the line, there’s no turning back; ever. 

“I guess you haven’t called me only to remember old days. What’s the matter?”

Álvaro sighed and motioned for Raúl to take a sit.

“The Logia is the matter.”

The face of the older darkened instantly. If that name evoked memories, they weren’t any good.

“After what happened I thought...” 

“It did, for some time. They started rearticulating two years ago although they weren’t really powerful.”

“Then what happened?”

Álvaro looked at Iker; the message was clear. It was time for him to assume his shit because he wouldn’t do it for him, not in front of the man they had both idolatrized so much when they were younger. 

“I was having problems. I was at a really bad place in my life. I was dating a guy who was into it. They wanted the popular kids in school to take part in The Logia but they wouldn’t do it.”

“Most of the people nowadays follow what Leo and Cristiano say; Leo is way too smart to get involved with something like that and Cris, deep down, is way to sweet. So everybody stayed clear of it. As long as we didn’t join them, they weren’t powerful enough.”

Iker nodded. “They had some important names in it but not as important as ours. They needed us.”

Raúl acquiesced. 

“Who fucked up?”

He already knew the answer; Iker had insinuated it not a few sentences earlier but he didn’t want to believe it. It couldn’t be Iker; not Iker, not the kid he had taught so much before leaving this place.

“I was mad. I was in Mourinho’s class and he wouldn’t let me play. I felt the guys weren’t helping me enough. My boyfriend convinced me they could help me, it would be good for all of us.”

Álvaro snorted. 

“Yeah, who cares about the less fortunate, huh?”

Iker scoffed.

“Excuse me but it’s not as if we were too fucking nice to them anyway.”

Rául sighed.

“What did you do Iker?”

“I told them secrets. Secrets about the guys so they could blackmailing into joining the Logia.”

Rául shook his head.

“But it didn’t work like it, did it?”

Iker nodded, swallowing hard. 

“They leaked them to the press in order to create a scandal. They didn’t want to blackmail them; they wanted to make them weaker so they would happily join.” 

Rául laughed.  
“The first rule to manipulate and create a dependency; create a problem for a person and make her believe you’re the solution to it; she could never have solved it without you.”

“What kind of things did you leak?”

Iker could feel himself reddening. 

“Sexual orientations; familiar relationships; dirty secrets about their parents.”

“Leo stopped it; he managed to stop the publications just in time but he had to give them a lot of money. He still didn’t join but he promised to not mess with them.” Continued Álvaro. “The money made them stronger; everyone got scared after what they showed they could do.”

“Sergio sent a guy to the hospital.”

“Excuse me?”

“He took of one of the poor and hit him hard. We think he’s involved with The Logia.”

Raúl couldn’t believe it. This couldn’t be happening again. 

“So they’re already using violence again?”

Álvaro nodded. “We think so.”

Rául stood up from his seat. “Are you all stupid?”

Iker was taken aback and couldn’t hold his tongue back.

“If I remember correctly, you were the leader of The Logia once. The last time they used violence to be exact.”

Rául’s eyes darkened. The sentence hit him like a million of knives thrown directly at his heart.

“Then remember to the end. I was the one to reduce it to ashes compromising my future and confronting my family because I understood it was wrong. Don’t you understand it? It’s not because you can do something that you should do it. You are privileged; be worth of it. 

I have some phone calls to make. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

 

MARCELO & NEYMAR

 

“I don’t want to do this.”

“Me neither.”

“Then why are we here?”

“Because we want in, remember?”

“Maybe we shouldn’t. Asking us to burn a guy’s personal belongings is not a good beginning.”

Neymar elbowed Marcelo on the ribs.

“Should I remind you that the guy you’re in love with is dating the boy whose things we are going to burn? Should I remind you he has paid more attention to him in a few weeks than to you in years?”

“Then let’s burn Cristiano’s things because it’s more his fault than anyone elses.”

Neymar shook his head. The truth was that he wanted to do this as much as Marcelo but Leo was worth it; so worth it. 

“Do it for me? I’m your best friend.”

Then Neymar did something extremely unfair; something he knew Marcelo could not refuse; he offered his pinky. You see, Marcelo didn’t believe in many things in life. He wasn’t a reliable person. He wasn’t a responsible kid. He was the troublesome kind but there was one thing in which he was a diehard believer: the honor code of friendship. If your best friend is having a bad day, you call his bullshit out but you don’t leave him alone with it; you don’t rat him out, even if he deserves it and, above all, you don’t leave him alone in front of an abyss. So if your best friend is doing something wrong and extremely stupid, you try to talk him out of it. If you don’t succeed, you accompany him through hell to make it to the other side safe. He extended his pinky confirming his promise and shook his head. 

“This thing is going to come back and bite us in the ass.”

In a few minutes, Fábio’s things were ashes. 

 

MESUT IN FRONT OF MOURINHO’S DOOR

 

“You don’t have to do this.”

Gareth was right, he thought. He didn’t have to do this; he could walk away right now and keep going with his life. He indeed wanted to do just that; better yet, he should run away from that door as fast as possible and never look like. He had learned lately that you should always take a deep breath when you’re about doing something important. Just to be sure if you want to do it or no. If you breath in and wait for a few seconds, the anxiety calms down enough to discover if it’s just anxiety stopping you from doing something you should do or just a plain refusal. 

When you’re a kid you want things and it’s as easy as that. Desire. It gets fulfilled or it doesn’t. Now, the story was more complicated; what you needed and what you wanted could be different things. He told himself this is what self-control must be like; doing something that’s going to hurt you now but that can be great for you in the long run. When he was a kid, what he wanted was the only thing that mattered. Now, he knew that there was what is right and what is easy and that, sometimes, they aren’t the same thing. Did he want to escape now that he could? Definitely. Did he want to be able to look at himself in a mirror the next day and the day afterwards? Absolutely. Mesut didn’t know it yet but his childhood was ending in that exact moment. Alone, without support or pressure of anyone else, he was taking the first decision of his life for which he would be totally accountable for and it was scary. 

“Yes, I do.”

He took that step without over thinking it one more second. On the other side, for the better or the worst, his life was awaiting for him. 

 

CRISTIANO & FÁBIO & THE REST OF THE WORLD

 

“We’re dating.”

Leo almost spit his drink. It couldn’t be true. 

“You’re kidding.”

Cristiano shook his head smiling. 

“Prepare my reward and kiss it goodbye.”

“Prove it.”

There, in the middle of the common room during breakfast, Cristiano left his table a smirk on his face and he went to Fábio’s table. The common room as a whole kept on staring; what was he doing there? It wasn’t his zone to be. Cristiano’s behavior was breaking the status quo. 

When he arrive at the table, he was met with all type of shocked looks; he waited patiently for Wayne to leave him room next to Fábio but when the chubby guy wouldn’t move, he asked:  
“Excuse me, care to make a little room? I’d like to talk to my boyfriend.”

Then the world stopped. The status quo was shattered and the world’s shaping transformed. Suddenly, a million of different possibilities appeared in a reality that was one-dimensional seconds ago. 

Wayne, not understanding what the hell was happening, left room in a confused manner. Cristiano sat and smiled at Fábio who couldn’t be redder without getting admitted into the hospital. He took his face and kissed him; it was short, sweet but marking. It wasn’t a kiss for the pleasure of it, Fábio realized; it was a message. Cristiano looked slightly at Leo who was shaking his head; Cristiano smirked thinking about having won that bet. 

Meanwhile, Gareth had left the table revolted by the show while Kaká followed him suit. The rest of the guys, whether it was Fábio or Cristiano’s friends, stood there, speechless. Marcelo could feel his heart shattering. Mesut thought he couldn’t have pick a better day to come back and looked in another direction; the absent are always wrong. 

 

MESUT & MOURINHO

 

“It wasn’t an accident.”

Mourinho dropped his pen and looked at Mesut straightforward in the eyes.

“It was Ramos. He cornered me in a corridor and kicked me until I lost consciousness.”

Mourinho dropped his head down and sighed. 

“Shit. Is it true?”

Mesut stayed silent.

“Don’t fucking play with me kid. Is it true?”

“Yes it is. He has been harassing me for two years now. Everybody knows it. That night... That night I stood up for him and he took it too far.”

“Are you ready to state this in front of Perez?”

Mesut swallowed hard but nodded.

“Look, I believe you kid but I want you to know what you’re doing. You’re going to be facing a lot of people who won’t want to acknowledge it. I can’t assure you Ramos will be punished.”

“I know all of that but I need to do this. If someone asks me in ten years from now, I want to be able to say that I did everything to stop this; that, if it keeps going, it wasn’t because of me.”

Mourinho nodded.

“You have my support. I’ll call up a meeting with direction so you can explain what happened.”  
Mesut sighed and got up with difficulty.

“One last thing”, he dropped his assignment on the teacher’s desk. 

“I know I’m late but I was kind of busy.”

Özil had done a paper he was dispensed of? Man, thought Mourinho, the world was really changing faster than he knew. 

 

MESUT’S TRAGIC FLAW

 

“As long as I can remember, I have lived conditioned by fear. For a long time, I have wanted to get rid of it but now I realize how stupid I’ve been to believe you can get ride of fear. We all live with fear; it’s part of who we are as human beings and, whether we want it or not, fear is going to be with us every step of the way. 

The answer, then, has never been getting rid of it. I now know that fear is part of who are but it doesn’t have to be all you are. It’s like being smart, slow, tall, tiny, beautiful or not. It’s there but it’s not everything there is. The real question then is, do you want the fear to define you or not?

That was my tragic flaw, sir. My fear defined me; it had ended up swallowing everything else I was. In the end, I was my fear. The worst part is that I really think I didn’t have a choice about it. My fear was way more powerful than I have ever been; I did not stand a chance. 

Then someone fresh came and changed everything. He gave me perspective; all of a sudden there was life outside my box of fear. He simply taught me that there were others perspective than mine. There was fear, yes, but it hadn’t to win every time. It didn’t need to be that important if you didn’t want to.

That’s when I realized all the times I have fought fear in the face and have won. I was scared of riding a bicycle, but I still learned. I was terrified about my first kiss, but I still gave it. I’m always a mess before my final exams but I go through them all the same. I was terrorized of going away from my family to an unknown place but yet I am still here. I shit my pants each time I go on a plane but I still fly. I’ll probably always shit my pants when on a plane but I am still going to keep on flying. 

Suddenly I realized that I wasn’t as weak as I thought. I realized that the only times fear wins are when you let her, when you don’t show up to the fight. I thought maybe, just maybe, fear doesn’t have to define me. Maybe I can redefine myself. So this is the last day of my tragic flaw. 

Do not get me wrong; I am still going to be scared lots of times and there will be moments of tragedy but they won’t define me anymore. Never again will I not do something I want to or need to because of fear. The consequences be damned. 

A long time ago, a teacher told us about Eleanor Roosevelt; a brave lady. She had said once: “Everyday, do something you’re scared of.” For years I couldn’t understand it. Why would you do that? You had to be a masochist... Now I know; it’s about getting a little stronger every day. It may not be the safest way of life but boats aren’t made to be in harbor, doesn’t matter how safe they feel there. From now on, I am loosing sight of the shore.

 

Mesut Özil.

 

GARETH & KAKÁ

 

“Gareth, wait up!”

The athletic boy finally stopped and Kaká tried to regain his breath.

“What’s wrong?”

Gareth looked at Kaká as if he had gone mad. What was wrong? I don’t know, thought Gareth, what was wrong with wars, famine and global contamination? What was wrong with evil itself? 

“Are you kidding me?”

Kaká sighed and looked at his friend.

“Don’t start.”

“Don’t start? Don’t Start? He’s the one to start it! You were the one with the broken heart, you certainly know what’s wrong with this.”

“People change. He wouldn’t admit to date me but he has kissed Fábio in front of the whole school. It’s obviously different.”

Gareth bit his lip and Kaká forgot everything for a moment; the things he would do to those lips... 

“You’re right, he may have become worst since last year. May I remind you the nights you spent crying yourself to sleep? The humiliations? What about the sadness who followed you every second of your day?”  
“I remember very well but it doesn’t have to happen to Fábio.”

Gareth snorted.

“I though he was a smart lad. I would have never believed, in a million years, he would fall for that fake Ken after what he did to you.”

Kaká could feel himself sweating; he wished at the moment to be one of those persons who could simply fake but he had never been and realization hit Gareth soon enough.

“Oh my god, you haven’t told him.”

Kaká looked down and shook his head.

“Did you know about them?”

“I had guessed.”

“And you haven’t told him? Are you stupid? Is he not your friend?”

“Of course he is!”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

“I won’t tell him and if you respect me a little bit yet, you won’t either.”

“Why the hell would you not tell him?”

“Because I believe Cristiano’s feelings are legit. Don’t ask me how but I can feel it.”

“This is fucking unbelievable! He’s a fragile guy, you know? He may look super strong but he is not so when that stupid Ken breaks his heart, you’ll be the one gathering the pieces and explaining to him that you could have saved him but you chose not to.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No, what isn’t fair is that you’re thinking of helping Cristiano before thinking about helping Fábio.”

“So this is about you being jealous?”

Gareth kicked hard the bench to his right.

“For a selfless guy, you sure can be egocentric! This isn’t about you, Cristiano or me. This is about Fábio; he’s my fucking friend and I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“But people get hurt all the time. It’s life.”

Gareth shook his head.

“Since he came here, he has tried to help everyone who needed it and you’re letting him down. Just bear that in mind when your precious Cristiano fucks it up again.”

Kaká tried to stop Gareth from leaving like that; he really did.

“Gareth! Come back here, let’s be adults!”

“I am done with this conversation and with you too at the moment!”

But if Gareth Bale was something, it was stubborn. 

 

FÁBIO & CRISTIANO

 

“Hey, you all right?”

Fábio turned around and sighed seeing his boyfriend.

“Peachy; I just got a lecture of Gareth and Álvaro about how stupid I am.”

Cristiano sighed and tried to hug Fábio but the blonde stayed out of his grasp.

“I get it. You don’t think I’m good enough for you to have problems with your friends.”

Fábio looked up surprised to see a very sad looking Cristiano. He took his chin and said:

“If I didn’t think you were worth it, I wouldn’t have stood up for you putting a strain on my friendships almost everyone I knew here.”

Cristiano smiled tenderly at Fábio’s words. He felt so worthy by his side. 

“But I didn’t like the show you put on.”

“What show?”

“I’m not stupid Cris. What were you doing? Marking your territory?”

Well, there certainly was a bit of that, thought Cris.

“I just wanted to get it over with. The rumors would have gone on forever otherwise.”

“Just don’t do it again, okay? I’m not your thing.”

Cristiano nodded and pulled his boyfriend into a kiss forgetting everything about a bet he had already won. 

 

IKER & ÁLVARO

 

“Do you think Raúl hates me?”

“He’s disappointed about you. He doesn’t hate you. You’re like a little brother to him.”

Iker nodded.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“About being responsible for putting you under The Logia’s scrutiny.”

It was the first time Álvaro had heard the words actually get out of Iker’s mouth and, although it wouldn’t solve a thing, he felt some kind of warm spread inside him. 

“I guess you family situation was hard enough without that. I didn’t need to betray you by telling him about it.”

Álvaro snorted.

“What, you mean my father being in prison because of financial crimes, us losing all of our money and my mother and sister living on Prozac? Yeah, reality hit hard.”

Iker sighed. 

“Talk to Xabi man.”

“For what? To put him in the same danger I am in? The Logia was pretty clear; I am not welcomed in the school anymore. Any kind of accidents could happen to you or to those you care about; their words man, not mine.”

“They wouldn’t touch Xabi.”

“We can’t be sure about that and I am not taking the risk. He’s the last thing I care about I can protect. Let me protect him.”

“Tell him the truth at least; don’t let him believe you didn’t care enough.”

Álvaro shook his head.

“If I told him about my family’s situation and The Logia, he would stick with me. He’s awesome like that.”

Iker smiled; he definitively would. 

“If you told them all, they could help you. They’re still powerful, even after what I did.”

“They’re still powerful but not enough. I’m lucky I could come back to the school without being able pay it; Perez’ s personal favor to the family.”

“I know it’s useless but if I could come back, I’d never do the same again. Every time I dream about it, I refuse.”

Álvaro nodded. It felt nice to hear those words coming from Iker. It felt nice that he recognized his wrongs but life was a street that only allowed one direction.

“I’d stop you myself if we could come back but we can’t. That’s the deal with life, isn’t it? You only get one chance at each day.”

Álvaro smiled sadly and walked away from his enemy, his childhood friend, one of the biggest parts of his childhood memory. 

He couldn’t go back, thought Iker, but he maybe could make it better. 

 

FÁBIO & MESUT

 

Fábio saw his friend standing on the balcony on the way to his room. He silently made his way to him. He seemed lost gazing into the stars. Fábio wondered what were the stars telling him, he wished he could be let into the secret.

“Are you mad?”

Mesut smiled without abandoning his stargazing. He knew it had been a tough day for Fábio; not everyone had taken the news in a good way.

“It’s not my place to be.”

The blond snorted. He hated that kind of pre-fabricated answer. Their friendship was worth more than this; it was worth the truth, as hard and selfish as it was. 

“That’s not a real answer and you know it.”

Mesut laughed.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. You deserve better. Am I angry? No, but I am shocked.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t get it. Why him? He doesn’t have any of the qualities you seem to value so much.”

Fábio sighed; he was getting tired of everyone judging everything they didn’t know about. 

“You don’t know him.”

Mesut shook his head.

“I’ve known him for longer than you.”

“Look at you; you’re so much more than you seemed to be or that others made you to be. I gave you the chance to be the true you, didn’t I? Why can’t you all give it to him?”  
Mesut looked at Fábio for the first time in the conversation and felt really sad for his friend. He was truly smitten; it wasn’t just a stupid crush because of hormones. 

“I hope to be wrong. I really do so but I can’t control what I believe. Do you prefer me to lie?”

Fábio shook his head vigorously. 

“That’s the last thing I’d want.”

“He’s going to break your heart. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy Fáb but you have the tendency to see the persons as what they could be instead of as what they really are. You’re hoping for the best version of Cristiano but it may not come.”

Fábio nodded; he was too tired to try and discuss that. 

“I’ll wait for you.”

Fábio’s head shot up; he was surprised to see a very smiling Mesut in front of him.

“I know you don’t see me like that. I know I’m not the guy you need but I can be, I am on my way there. So when he breaks your heart, you should really give me a chance because I deserve it and we could be great Fábio.”

After kissing the blonde’s cheek, Mesut left the balcony leaving a confused Fábio behind. If only love was about deserving; that would make it so much easier, thought the blonde. 

 

 

“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?”

― Mary Manin Morrissey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up… We're getting there, my friends. We're getting there.
> 
> Dot, dot, dot.


	14. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things we learn in this chapter:
> 
> -Mesut, Sergio, the aggression and the school.
> 
> -More about Fábio's past…
> 
> -The Logia real and complete story. Finally!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your comments and love for this story.
> 
> It warms my heart :)

“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.” 

Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

 

FÁBIO & ÁLVARO & GARETH

 

“What the fuck?!”

Gareth and Álvaro stopped their joking about the majestic bore that had been today’s class hearing Fábio’s tone. There was nothing humorous about this tone. They looked at each other and shrugged before entering the room they shared with the blonde. The sight they were met with froze them.

There were used to be Fábio’s things were nothing but ashes anymore; only the bed, that suddenly seemed the loneliest piece of garniture on the planet, remained. No clothes; no photos; no objects; no memories, they thought. Their own parts of the bedroom, however, were intact. They almost had hoped it wouldn’t be the case; that way they could believe it had been an accidental fire. That possibility was ruled out; it had been a personal attack and Fábio was the victim of this one. 

The blonde was on his knees, trying to rescue any rest of his burned life. The boys stayed still, waiting for their friend to say something, anything; a shriek of anger, a cry of sadness, even a laughter of despair would have done the job but nothing came out of the blonde’s mouth, not a single sound, not even a silent whimper. He slowly got up, gave to Gareth a tiny piece of paper that was resting on his bed and left the room ignoring Álvaro’s pleas for him to come back and talk. 

Alone, Álvaro looked expectantly at Gareth who seemed to have the answer of the enigma into his hands. His new friend looked at him with anger, sadness and a bit of fear in his eyes. He then gave the paper to him. Álvaro needed to read it out loud in order to really process the meaning of it. He thought that, maybe, if he read it, it would become more real. 

“Stop messing things up. You’ve been now warned. If you don’t change, the next thing burning will be you.”

Álvaro’s stomach flipped down when he saw the symbol that signed the letter, a black hand. 

“The Logia.”

“What?”

Álvaro sighed. This was already getting too far. 

“I have to go get someone. I’ll explain everything to you later. Look out for Fábio.” 

“I don’t even know where he went!”

“Then look for him!”

 

FLORENTINO & MOURINHO 

 

The Elite Way school director shook his head. This could not be happening to him; too much stress for a school full of horny teenagers. 

“What if the boy lies?”

“The boy doesn’t lie; everybody in the school knows Sergio is been messing him up since he arrived.”

Mourinho was starting to get annoyed; he had been sitting in Florentino’s bureau for two hours now trying to convince him of the truth of Mesut’s accusation as well as the need to do something about it. 

“I don’t know. This is a big thing.”

“It is. We’re not talking bad jokes or even bulling anymore; we’re talking about the danger of physical integrity. Those boys are under our legal responsibility between these walls; if something serious happens, we’ll be guilty of it.”

Florentino thought for a few seconds and finally nodded. Mourinho was right; physical serious injuries were something the institution couldn’t risk. 

“Call the two boys here. I want to have a chat with them and see how they react to one another.”

Mourinho wasn’t exactly pleased with Florentino’s resolution but it was better than nothing so he did as he was asked. 

 

GARETH & CRISTIANO

 

Something was seriously going wrong when he had to knock on Ken’s door, thought Gareth. He was starting to regret the good old days; yes, there were humiliations but no broken bones or burnt bedrooms and certainly not him coming to Ken of all people for help.

He was greeting by Leo’s face that instantly eyed him from head to toe as if he was a cockroach lost in a palace. 

“I need to talk to Ronaldo.”

Leo smirked before answering; “Yeah, and I’d love to have a chat with The Pope but I’m not sure it’s a good enough reason to be granted access into his private chambers.”

While the door was being closed in his face, Gareth was once again surprised by the gigantic ego of those guys. The fucking Pope, really? What a comparison! He took a deep breath and remembered that this wasn’t about him; he needed to make an effort. Everyone has spent the last hour looking for Fábio without success; Cristiano was his only chance. 

“It’s about Fábio!”

Gareth could hear the steps on the other side of the door; this time Cristiano pushed Leo and stopped the door from being closed.

“What about Fábio?”

Gareth gave him the piece of paper and explained what had happened. “They burnt all of his things; we’ve been looking for him like crazy but haven’t found him yet. I’m worried about what he could do.”

Cristiano clenched his fists, dropped the paper to the ground and mumbled a fast “Thanks” to Gareth before running out of the door. Alone in his room Leo picked up the paper and his eyes became almost black with venom. He didn’t like where all of this was going; The Logia was way too confident to do this, which meant that either they were egocentric idiots, either they had much more power than last year. 

 

MESUT & SERGIO & FLORENTINO

 

Sergio couldn’t believe what was happening to him. Not in a million years would have he thought that the boy would denounce him. Well, he wouldn’t have thought he would fight back either and he did. He sighed as a bull imprisoned in a cell. He hated the situation he was in.

Mesut, on the other hand, found his mind wandering towards Fábio; at the moment he was more worried about his friend’s whereabouts than his confrontation with Sergio. He tried to imagine how he would react if someone burnt his belongings but he couldn’t quit pin it. He would probably feel violated, angry and sad; most of all he would feel really sad. The incident had only reassured Mesut he was doing the correct thing; if they didn’t fight back, they would end them. 

“Mr. Mourinho says you told him Mr. Ramos attacked you the night you got injured. Is that right?”

“Yes, it is.”

“What happened?”

“He usually used to mess up with me. This time I fought back and he wasn’t too happy about it. I guess he got out of control.”

Sergio looked up at Mesut surprised; although he wouldn’t admit it, he felt grateful at the moment. Grateful the German hadn’t talked about the alcohol or that stupid kiss.

“Why have you never complained before?”

Mesut shrugged. 

“I guess I believed no one would do anything.”

“Why are you talking this time?”

Mesut snorted.

“I ended up in hospital. It could have been much worse. A friend of mine got his things burned today. I think things are going too far.”

Florentino’s felt his heart doing flip-flops at the mention of the burning; another case to look into when he was over with this one.

“Ramos, is he saying the truth?”

Years later, when high school was well behind him, Sergio was finally able to explain why he answered what he answered. He wished it was because of deep regret or courage but it wasn’t. In his world everything was a capitalist exchange; you wanted something, you did something for someone else. Someone did something for you; they were waiting for something on your part. It was simply how it worked. Morality was just not a part of it. The German had silenced the most humiliating part of what happened that night; Sergio figured that, if he wanted it to keep being that way, he better not deny his version.

“It is. I don’t know what took over me. I did loose control.”

If he was totally truthful to himself, something he had learned to be with the years, the conviction he wouldn’t be truly punished for what he did played a part in his confession. He was a coward like that. Mesut, unable to grasp those hidden motivations, was glued to the spot. He had been ready for a tough match and his opponent was retiring before it began. 

Florentino sighed.

“Do you know how serious this is Mr. Ramos? This isn’t some childhood prank; you sent him to the hospital.”

Sergio nodded although, at that point, he wasn’t ready to assess the extent of what he had done. 

“Both of you may leave. I’ll take the necessary measures about this. Mr. Ramos, I’m assured that from now on, you’ll leave Mr. Özil alone. Am I right?”

Sergio nodded and waited for Mesut to exit. Florentino looked at him and said: “I’ll talk to your father and we’ll see how we can arrange this.”

 

CRISTIANO & FÁBIO

 

Thank god! Though Cristiano. After looking through every damn place he could think of, he finally found Fábio sitting on the bench they had met, looking through the window. 

He silently sat opposite his boyfriend and waited for him to speak. He wondered how he felt about this; he knew how he, himself, felt about it. He’d love to catch the responsible and hit him until he was pleading for forgiveness. His fists clenched and his neck vein got bigger just thinking about it. What the hell was wrong with people? Why would someone want to hurt the beautiful being sitting in front of him?

“You found me.”

“We have a special ability to find each other since the day we met, I think.”

“How did you know where to look?”

“I looked in hundred of places then, when I had almost gave up, I had a flash of this place. I don’t know why. I just felt it.”

I just felt you; Cristiano wanted to add but it felt too cheesy for the moment, even for him. 

“Your friends had been looking out for you like crazy.”

“I just wanted to be left alone.”

That’s when the thought that maybe Fábio didn’t want him there crossed Cristiano’s mind for the first time.

“I’m sorry about that but I’m not leaving. You may want to be alone, but you need some company.”

Fábio smiled at the reference; he could remember him saying something along those lines to a drunk and moody Cristiano. 

“I’d really like some time to think, alone.”

“I won’t leave. Stop wasting words.”

Fábio looked up at Cristiano and saw something he didn’t think he had seen before in anyone’s eyes when looking at him; he saw the determination to stay. He wasn’t there out of obligation; he was there because he wanted to be there. The blonde’s heart got warmer and he could feel how his walls slowly and dangerously were crumbling more and more every day with Cristiano around. 

“How do you feel?”

“Like shit.”

“If it’s about the material things...”

“It’s not. I have a bed to sleep in, food to eat and a roof over my head. Nothing material there.”

“Then what is it?”

“Memories. They burned my memories.”

Fábio thought Cristiano couldn’t really understand. If he wanted to see his family or a friend, he had only to catch a plane. Fábio couldn’t dream about it. Two passages a year, one to go to school and one to come back in summer, were already bordering on the impossible for him. As long as he was there, the things they had burned were the only ones linking him with home.

“Anything in particular?”

Fábio was finally speaking, thought Cristiano; he had to keep him going. The more venom he got out, the less it would hurt later. The blonde nodded.

“A bracelet.”

“A bracelet?”

“My best friend and I used to wear the same bracelet.”

Cristiano smiled. “How cute.” Fábio snorted; “cute” was the last word coming to his mind when thinking about him and his best friend.

“How was it?”

Fábio shrugged. “Nothing special. He bought them with his first salary; I think they must coast about eight pounds each.”

“But it’s not about the coast.”

“No, it’s not. We grew up together; I found him on the streets one day and we became instant friends.”

Cristiano swallowed. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer but it felt like the moment to ask such a question. 

“Have you lived on the streets Fábio?”

The blond turned his look back to the window. Should he tell? He wasn’t a trusty person; he had learned to confide only in himself. At first it had been out of necessity but then, at some point, it had become a natural reflex. Even when he wanted to open up, he couldn’t. It was too risky; his survival instinct was against it. After what had happened, he was especially vulnerable and he felt tired of bearing so much on his shoulders all the time. He wanted to have someone too; he wanted to be able to talk to someone and trust the person wouldn’t throw what he said back at him. For once in a very long time, Fábio trust the deep of his stomach and he let go. Letting go; that was probably the most difficult thing he had ever done.

“I have four brothers. In my house lived my parents, them, my grandmothers and my uncles and aunts. There were too many people; too many mouths and not enough food. I was the last one and my mother decided I would be better off in the orphanage.” 

Cristiano’s stomach dropped instantly. He could feel his insides breaking into tiny pieces imagining a younger Fábio put in an orphanage.

“She told me that, at least, I’d have three meals every day and if I was lucky enough, I’d get adopted.”

Although he suspected the answer to the question, he still tried.

“Were you adopted?” Fábio laughed and shook his head.

“You don’t get adopted unless you’re a baby. Nobody wants a boy above five years.”

“What happened?”

“I hated that place. I hated it to death. One day I decided to escape; I figured out I would be better off on my own than in that shitty place where you got beaten on a daily basis.”

Cristiano could feel tears welling up in his eyes; he tried hard not to cry though, the last thing he wanted was to give Fábio the impression he felt pity for him. Pity was the last thing on his list. 

“I was a disaster. I think I wouldn’t have last a day without him. He found me on my first night out, freezing to death in a corner, being threatened by scary people. He took me with him, feed me and learned me every trick in the book to survive.”

Cristiano was surprised when he heard Fábio’s laugh.

“I know it may seem crazy but those were good times. Then one day, playing in the street, we got picked up by the local football team.”

“Sounds like a pretty nice story.”

Fábio snorted. “Yeah, too much to be true. Although we were provided with everything we needed to survive, it wasn’t that easy. You don’t rip people apart from their entourage so easily.”

Cristiano frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“Surviving can get ugly sometimes Cris. A bit of pick pocket and a lot of picaresque were required. By the time we were teenagers, we had some good friends and a lot of shitty ones. Dangerous ones even. He got hooked up to drugs. I couldn’t do anything about it. I didn’t know how to.”

Cristiano swallowed. “What happened?”

Fábio shrugged. “He ended up being spelled of the team. I still found him some work but the drugs kept dragging him in. I got him into rehab twice but it didn’t work. Every time I thought he was fine, he went back into it right away.”

Cristiano shook his head. He felt bad about the guy and even worst about Fábio.

“I concentrated on football to get out of the shitty situation I was in. Our worlds got more and more different; we drifted apart. He was pulling me in; I could feel it. When I got the scholarship to come here, I didn’t even tell him. I just ran away. I fucking abandoned my best friend. The person who had rescued me from a certain death.”

“No, don’t say that. You did everything you could. You tried to save him but; Fábio, you can’t save somebody who doesn’t want to be saved. It was him or you and you chose yourself for once; there’s nothing wrong about that.” 

Fábio shook his head. “He wouldn’t have done the same to me.”

“He did. Every time he chose drug over you, he did.”

Fábio wiped his tears away. You don’t cry where he comes from. Crying is showing weakness and weaknesses are simply not allowed.

“Anyway, the bracelet is the only thing I had from him. I stopped wearing it because I felt too ashamed of what I had done but I kept it as a treasure and now it’s gone. It’s burnt just as I burnt our friendship when he needed it the most.”

“Would you stop being so hard on you all the freaking time? You have showed in a few years more qualities than most of people show in their whole life. You need to learn how to relax, Fáb. You’re not in that place anymore.”

Cristiano got up and took Fábio’s hands in his; he ushered him to get up and hugged him. The blonde nudged Cristiano’s face with his neck; he had already let his walls down, he could go to the end now. Cristiano whispers into his ear:

“You need to learn how to have fun and I am the perfect person to teach you.”

 

ÁLVARO & THE GUYS

 

Álvaro had reunited the boys in one of the common rooms. They needed to know what was going on. It was urgent. He waited for Rául to come in.

“Guys, thanks for coming. I have reunited you here to tell you a very important thing. You all know what happened to Fábio; a note was left on his bed, the signature was a black hand. It belongs to a thing called La Logia.”

Wayne and Kaká looked at each other; they had heard about it but they had never known what it meant exactly. 

“My friend Raúl studied here and I do believe he is the best one to tell this story.”

Iker and Leo had stopped by the door, curious about what was going down. Iker was awaiting his opportunity to redeem himself; Leo was trying to stop the downfall he could feel coming. Raúl began his speech.

“This school was conceived as an elite establishment. The kids of the powerful would come here and grow together, befriend each other and assure the survival of the elites they belong to.

The Logia was then founded when the school was created. It was intended as an organization for the elite of the elite. The best of us would integrate it and assured its running. The aim of the organization was simple: to protect the school of anyone who didn’t belong to the elite.

For years, The Logia didn’t need to act. You couldn’t get into this school without money and power. Then things started changing. Sport became a big thing and scholarships started to be granted to outstanding individuals. The Logia awaked from its long sleep.

At first they boys were easily scared and there was few of them. Then their number grew and The Logia got nervous. Equality was a value promoted by the school and The Logia, once so powerful, had to go secret. Things got out of hands.”

Raúl’s voice started shaking slightly and everybody feared for the worse. Álvaro, Iker and Leo, who already knew that part of the story, looked down. 

“A boy died. A prank turned wrong. The authors were denounced and The Logia’s activities revealed. The school couldn’t close its eyes on it anymore; they made sure The Logia was dissolved.”

Álvaro, who could see how much Rául was affected by the story he had just told, picked up from then.

“The school was careful about it for years. The lives of the scholar shipped ones weren’t easy because of it as you well now but at least no one’s life was in danger. but, at some point, it was created anew. They have recovered much of their power. They are the ones who burnt Fábio’s things and they are dangerous. It’s getting out of control, once again.”  
Álvaro looked down; he knew that, to some extent, he was responsible. He could have learned about The Logia’s thing but, instead of that, he preferred to mistreat the poor kids of school and made their lives miserable. He and the rest of the gang had contributed to the clime of hate in which La Logia had reborn. 

“Who is he?” Gareth’s voice interrupted everyone’s silent thoughts. 

Raúl turned around to answer the question.

“My father and two of my brothers had attended the school. They had been involved with The Logia. My turn came. I was the president of the organization when the kid was killed. 

I am not proud of it. I wasn’t really conscious of what I was doing. It was just a family tradition. When they killed the kid, I denounce them and all of the activities we had undertaken. I made sure The Logia was dissolved but it was too late; nothing could erase the kid’s death.”

“Why haven’t we heard about that death?” Kaká’s voice was as even as ever.

“The school couldn’t allow the truth to come out. It would have destroyed its reputation. They said it had been a fatal accident and gave the boy’s family a succulent quantity of money to compensate them. The body was brought back to the boy’s country; the family never came to the school. Nobody questioned the official truth.”

Rául sighed. He had debated for long in his head about the silence he kept. He had always uneasy about it. His father had convinced him at the time; the truth out would end his brilliant future. The boy was already dead; dissolving The Logia was the best thing that could be done for him. Now that the organization had come back, Rául he knew silence had not been a good idea. 

Álvaro left the room with Rául, leaving everybody else to think about what they had just learnt. Iker and Leo followed them suit.

“Hey, wait up!”

They both stopped at Leo’s voice and turned around. 

“What do you want?”

“Do you think Sergio is involved?”

Of course they did, thought Álvaro, but he wanted to know more.

“Why would you say that?”

“He has been going on and on about how much he hate Coentrao since he came; how everything bad that has happened to him is his fault.”

Raúl swallowed hard; they needed to talk to Sergio urgently. 

 

“A person may cause evil to others not only by his actions but by his inaction, and in either case he is justly accountable to them for the injury.” 

John Stuart Mill, On Liberty


	15. Then their world shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first part of our story comes to an end. Lot of things are happening.
> 
> Lot of things are yet to happen :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear readers!
> 
> I'm going on holidays next week so this may be the last chapter you get for the next two weeks or so. 
> 
> It is really a long one and I am pretty proud of it. It took me some time so I'd love for you to especially comment on this one. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

“In the end, people should be judged by their actions, since in the end, it was actions that defined everyone.” 

Nicholas Sparks

 

FÁBIO & CRISTIANO; There is so much about me you don’t know yet. 

Fábio was carefully observing how Cristiano walked towards the door. Looking at his sides, his boyfriend behaved as some teenage version of James Bond, alias 007. It was late afternoon and the day had been exhausting; having found his things burnt, his confession to Cris... He needed a good night of sleep in the only belonging he still got, his bed. His recent boyfriend, however, had a very different opinion; he sustained that what Fábio needed was some time of relax, some time to behave as the person he really was, a fifteen years old. 

“What are you doing?”

Cristiano put a finger on his lips and motioned the blonde to stay silent. Cris was a pro at getting out of the school without permission; years of training had elevated his success rate to almost 100%. The task, however, was proving especially difficult with a blonde boy questioning his every move. Cris was battling inside; he didn’t know if he wanted to kill his boyfriend or kiss him senseless. It didn’t matter though, what he really needed to do was get them outside this school without people noticing. He could almost taste freedom on his tongue already; he really was. His first time out with Fábio was going to be wonderful; he had planned everything and was on the verge of savoring it, the fresh air was literally on his fingertips when a voice stopped him. So close, he thought; so damn close. 

“Mr. Ronaldo, what the hell are you doing?”

Cristiano turned around in order to meet Martha, the school’s old secretary, staring at him with her arms crossed in front of her. He offered her his trademark megawatt smile confiding in warming his way through her heart. 

“Martha! What a lovely surprise! I haven’t seen you enough this year so far. How is everything going in direction?”

“Cristiano.”

Martha’s face was a mix of affection and reproach. 

“Has someone told you how lucky we are to have you here? The years pass but they only have wonderful effects on you.”

Martha chuckled loudly and shook her head.

“Nice try Ronaldo but it’s been too many years. I am immune to your charm.”

Immune to his charm? Did that mean that Fábio would get immune too with time? The thought was stupid but is scared Cristiano deeply. 

“Have you got an authorization to get out? I haven’t seen it on my desk.”

“Actually, we have.”

Fábio took a step towards Martha and put on a show of his adorableness. Yes, thought Cristiano; Fábio wasn’t dashing or breathtaking but he was as adorable as those kitties playing on the YouTube videos. Who didn’t like adorableness? 

“You see, all of my things got burnt today. I don’t have anything anymore but a bed. Cristiano was kind enough to come with me in order to purchase some things. The director said yes.”

Cristiano could see how Martha’s laughter died on her tongue. Fábio’s tone had been sad and resigned; Martha obviously wanted to give him a hug, so did Cristiano hearing the tone of his voice. 

“I need some clothes at least. I’ve really got nothing left.”

Cristiano found it very hard to describe the expression of Fábio’s face as he looked deeply into Martha’s eyes. It was, once again, adorable. You wanted to pet him; hug him tightly and promise him that never again would he get hurt. He looked so vulnerable; so hopeless. It was funny, thought Cristiano, since Fábio was anything but weak. The boy was getting lost into Fábio’s eyes when he suddenly had a flash; a scene of the Shrek movies came to his mind, Fábio was the living version of the puss in boots. Nobody could pull it like him. Martha may have been immune to Cristiano’s charm but she certainly wasn’t to Fábio’s adorableness. 

“Oh, you poor thing. Go and get everything you need. Don’t come back too late boys, all right? And if you ever need something, please do come and ask me.”

Fábio smiled gratefully at Martha, opened the door and stepped out. Cristiano, dumbfounded, followed him suit. He approached his boyfriend feeling extremely worried; he hoped he wouldn’t cry, he wasn’t sure he could handle him crying.

“Are you alright Fábio?”

Fábio, whose back was in front of Cris, nodded.

“I’m glad we’re out but we’ll be dead by tomorrow morning. The moment she verifies this with Pérez, we’re caught. If you had let me get us out in silence...”

Although Cristiano couldn’t see it, Fábio smiled. 

“She won’t verify anything.”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

Fábio turned around and approached his boyfriend. Cristiano was shocked at the change in his expression; suddenly it wasn’t adorable anymore, it was more playful.

“See, my story had one advantage; it doesn’t matter if she believes it or not.”

Cristiano looked at the blond confused. “I’m not sure I’m getting it.”

“If she believed that Pérez has gave us permission, she won’t ask. If she believed I was lying, she won’t ask either.”

“Why?”

“Because that would get me into trouble.”

Cristiano was trying really hard but was totally missing the point. “So?”

“So nobody wants to get a poor boy who had his things burned by an evil logia some hours ago into trouble.”

Realization hit Cristiano as a broad grin set on Fábio’s face.

“It was all an act?”

The blonde chuckled. “What? You thought you were the only one who could get us out of here?”

Fábio took his boyfriend by the waist and pressed their bodies together. “Now, I like you very much Cris but you’ve still a long way to go until you know half of the tricks I do.”

The boy standing in front of him was no longer poor and admirable orphan Fábio; nor was he Fábio the rebel causing havoc. This was Fábio the little rogue showing some skills; he was playful, he was daring and not trustable at all. Suddenly, new feelings were developing in the pit of Cristiano’s stomach and those had nothing to do with tenderness and protection anymore. It was more like passion, fun and arousal. Before he could do anything about it, though, Fábio’s voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

“So, did I get us out for something or are you going to just stand there and devour me with your eyes all night long?”

Oh, he could devour him with other body parts, thought Cristiano. It would have to wait however; he had planned something out after all. He smacked his boyfriend’s lips before taking his hand and dragging him away from that stupid school. 

 

ÁLVARO & LEO & IKER & RAÚL & SERGIO; you need help. 

 

“What are you doing here?”

Sergio was looking at Raúl, confused as hell. 

“We need to talk. We all need to talk to you.”

Looking at the men around him, Sergio felt suddenly trapped. What the hell was going on?

Rául came forward and sat next to him on the bed.   
“I am not here to judge you Sergio. We all make mistakes; I’ve made bigger mistakes than you. I just want to help you.”

Sergio looked at Raúl furrowing his eyebrows; what was this about?

“I don’t get you.”

In the background, Leo shook his head; he couldn’t bear bullshit. If everyone came out and say what they had to say, humanity would gain plenty of time. Instead, the human race loved to beat stupidly around the bush. People liked to say it was to save heartbreak; to lessen the pain; to make things easier. Bullshit, had always thought Leo; a fucking stab-wound hurt just the same whether it comes straight or with a ribbon tied to it. Scratch that; in fact, it could hurt much worse with a ribbon tied to it.

“Stop with the denial Sergio. Things are getting out of control. Do you want a bad accident to happen? Do you imagine the headlines about it?”

Álvaro looked at Leo extremely annoyed. The headlines were the thing worrying him? He had to be kidding him. 

“I do not know what you are all talking about.”

“We know you belong to The Logia, Sergio.”

Rául’s voice echoed in the room charged with something incredibly heavy. 

 

PÉREZ & SERGIO’S FATHER & MOURINHO; I didn’t imagine the rules. I just play by them. 

 

“Yes, I do understand Rafael but you have to understand me. This was not some stupid prank; he put a boy into hospital. He recognized it himself.”

The phone conversation had been going on for half an hour now and Pérez was getting restless. Mourinho, sat in front of him, knew too well the direction everything was headed. 

“Florentino, we have been his age as well. It’s all right. It will pass. He won’t do it again. Let’s find a solution, yes? I’d hate for our business to go out the window but you have to understand me, I couldn’t keep on collaborating with a man who expelled my son.”

The chuckle at the end of the sentence was supposed to be sympathetic but never has something sounded as threatening. 

“All right, all right. We’ll find a solution. Yes Rafael, don’t you worry.”

“That’s my man! We’re lucky you rule the school. I’ll be sure to drop a nice amount of money into the school’s account. I’ll also pay the medical care the boy has needed and still needs of course.”

The conversation ended and Florentino found Mourinho’s piercing eyes looking straight back at him. 

“Don’t look at me like that. What did you want me to do?”

“Expel a student that is dangerous to his schoolmates?”

“Don’t exaggerate José.”

“Exaggerate? So far we’ve had a boy hospitalized and a room burnt; let’s wait and see what comes next.”

“I’m not happy about this! I don’t like my students ending in hospitals or with their stuff burnt but I can’t do anything.”

“What if next time it’s not the things they burn but the boy, what then? This is what you’re going to tell his parents?”

Florentino sighed.

“Things are the way they are, I didn’t invent the rules of the game. I trust you’ll find the right way to break the news to the your students.”

Mourinho nodded and left the room, stomping angrily. A game; the lives of the ones who didn’t have powerful families were only a game. Thinking about it, Ramos’ behavior shouldn’t be surprising at all. How was what he did different from what his father does everyday? People like Pérez and the parents of the rich kids sent persons to the hospital every single day. They didn’t using their firsts but they did it all the same. Blood, tears and sweat that didn’t belong to them strained their money. They hadn’t invented the rules of the game but they made sure to keep them the same since they benefited from them; the victims were only collateral damages. People like him, like Mourinho himself, played by those same rules. He felt aggravated, yes, but he would do nothing about it. Ramos had grown up in a world where money and power granted you rights; he treated Özil like his father treated the rest of people; like property. Who could really blame the boy? In the end, thought Mourinho, he was just a teenager imitating what he had seen at home. 

 

CRISTIANO & FÁBIO; when the world is just about us. 

 

“Where are you taking me?”

Cristiano had blinded Fábio with a soft scarf. He wanted it to be a surprise. He finally came to a stop and positioned Fábio the right way.

“Ready?” 

The blonde nodded eagerly; patience had never been a strong point of his. Cristiano obeyed and Fábio’s breath was taken away. They were standing on the brink of a precipice and, under them, a fiery and immense Blue Ocean stood proud. The only thing they could hear was the noise of the waves breaking against the rocks; the salty smell was so powerful that Fábio could taste it on his tongue. He closed his eyes for a moment and let himself being washed by the wind; maybe it could purify him a little bit. Starting fresh, it sounded so right. He looked at Cristiano surprised. 

“This is your idea of fun?”

The brunette smirked. “I thought you’d be a bit tired to get you to a nightclub.”

The blonde smiled back at his boyfriend and Cristiano could have sworn Fábio looked ten years younger all of a sudden. 

“There is a little café down the road. We can have dinner then a midnight bath.”

“We can actually bath?”

Cristiano nodded eagerly as seeing Fábio’s brown pools illuminate themselves. 

“There is a small bay we can get down to.”

“Then let’s have dinner! I want to swim already!”

The two boys playfully ran down the road, the tragedies of their day long forgotten.

 

MOURINHO & MESUT; things are the way they are.

 

Mourinho knocked lightly on Mesut’s door. He hated that part; if Pérez was man enough to leave violent actions unpunished, he certainly should be it to confront his decision. Wayne, who looked surprised to see his teacher there, opened the door. 

“Rooney, I need to talk to your roommate alone. Could you please go and gather Özil’s classmates? Tell them to wait for me in our usual classroom.”

Wayne looked at Mesut looking for some reassurance that he would be okay. The German nodded with a little smile and was left alone with his teacher. Mourinho sighed and sat on Wayne’s bed, opposite to where Mesut was sitting. 

“There is no easy way to say this so I’ll just get it out there, okay?” 

Mesut nodded; he knew where all of this was heading. 

“Nothing will be done about what Sergio did.”

Mesut snorted. “I’d love to say it is a surprise but I kind of expected it; it is still an angering thought.”

Mourinho nodded. “It indeed is but it’s the reality. The sooner you accept it, the better it will be.”

Mesut nodded.

“I am going to tell the rest of the class; are you okay with it?”

“Yes, in fact I prefer it.”

“I can’t do much but if he ever endangers you again, even if it doesn’t amount to any physical damage, come and find me right away. Don’t wait up, all right?”

Mesut looked up surprised at his teacher but nodded anyway; feeling grateful that someone was on his side.

“I can’t do much but I can try to keep you safe.”

 

SERGIO & THE GUYS; you don’t understand. 

 

“I do not belong to The Logia.”

“Oh come on, of course you do!” There were hardly words anymore to describe how annoyed Leo was getting.

“Sergio, it’s useless to deny it. The sooner you come out, the sooner we can help you.”

Sergio shook his head vehemently. “I do not belong to it. Have you all gone crazy?”

Iker sighed. “Sergio, after what happened to Mesut and Fábio...”

“I don’t have anything to do with what happened to that blond little shit!”

Leo snorted. “It’s so obvious that you don’t; the lovely words you just used to describe him are proof of it.”

“I don’t like him at all but that doesn’t mean I burnt his things!”

Rául shook his head. “It’s a shame you’re not making thins easier Sergio.”

Was he talking to walls? “I DO NOT BELONG TO THE FUCKING LOGIA! NOT AFTER WHAT THEY DID TO US LAST YEAR!”

Álvaro and Leo exchanged a couple of stares and shook their heads. This was getting unbearable. 

“If you do not wish to collaborate, we’ll have to do it the hard way then. I’ll talk to Pérez; we’ll get you to therapy and in a month you’ll be back.”

“Are you crazy? You’re not getting me everywhere without my permission!”

“Sometimes some things have to be done Sergio. We could negotiate tough. Admit you’re in it and give us the names of those who rule it then we can find some middle ground.”

“I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!”

“I’ll go talk to Pérez then.”

Sergio screamed and kicked but it was useless. Everyone’s decision had already been made. 

 

FÁBIO & CRISTIANO; then I fell in love and everything changed. 

 

Dinner had been wonderful. Cristiano was well known in the little café and they had been treated wonderfully. The small bay was magnificent; no one but them in such a beautiful space was a real gift, thought Fábio. Down to their boxers, the boys were sitting on the sand and gazing at the sea. 

“How do you know this place?”

Cristiano shrugged. “It was my first year at this school and I was really sad. I missed home and Leo was getting sick of my protests.”

Fábio smiled imagining little Cristiano complaining. “You were already best friends?”

Cristiano smiled and nodded. “We’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember. Our mothers were good friends. We met very little after being born.” 

Fábio pushed away the sad thoughts about his own best friend; it was time to start enjoying life’s gifts and Cristiano was definitely that to Fábio; his own little miracle.

“Leo has always been bossy. One day he just told me: “Stop moping around and let’s do something about it.” Cristiano chuckled fondly at the memory. “He decided we should go exploring and he found this place. It made me instantly happier. Since that day I always come here when I feel a bit down. I figured you could use it today.”

Fábio got up and sat himself between Cristiano’s legs, nuzzling at his neck. “Thank you.”

Cristiano chuckled; Fábio’s little kisses on his neck were tickling. “What’s up with you and my neck? You love it! I’m getting jealous.”

Fábio stopped his activities to look up at Cristiano. “That’s too stupid; even for you. You can’t be jealous of a part of your own body. If it was somebody else’s neck...” 

Cristiano playfully bite down Fábio’s ear. “Don’t you ever dare or I’ll have to kill the guy and kidnap you.”

“Possessive much?”

“Absolutely. You’re something special Fáb; you’re the only person I’ve brought here besides Leo.”

“Should I be the one jealous then?”

Cristiano chuckled. “Absolutely not. You haven’t answered my question though, what’s with you and my neck?”

Fábio shrugged at his boyfriend. “I don’t know. I just happen to love your neck. It’s so... manly.” The blonde decided to support his words by napping at Cristiano’s neck and suck his Adam apple; an action that got him a soft moan from his boyfriend. The first moan he had ever got out of Cristiano. The first moan he had ever received from anyone. He found it to be a wonderful sound; he definitely needed to hear it more often. He set his head on Cristiano’s shoulder and gazed at the stars. He felt a pair of strong arms tightening around his tiny waist.

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that we should stay here, like this, forever.”

“That’s not possible.”

Cristiano chuckled and Fábio’s head moved up and down with the gesture. “No but I usually want a lot of things that aren’t possible.”

“Like what?” 

“Like being free; make my own decisions, have a football career, not be forced to be anything but me.”

“Why is that not possible? They all sound like pretty plausible things to me.”

Cristiano chuckled. “That’s because you’ve never really met my father. He’d kill me if I did some of those things.”

“Your father isn’t going to live your life Cris; in the end, you’re the one who’s going to face it every single day.”

“He does it to protect me though. He’s right; a football career is not a serious profession. I’m probably not even good enough to make it.”

Fábio couldn’t help the anger in his stomach at the idea of someone telling Cristiano he wasn’t good enough. He sat up and turned around.

“You seem very good to me. I’ve seen you on the pitch; you’re something else Cris.”

Cristiano shook his head. “You see me with good, bright and beautiful eyes.”

“I see you for who you really are; a sweet, hard-working guy who’s full of possibilities. I see a guy who only needs twenty seconds of insane courage to believe he can do anything he wants.”

Cristiano gazed into Fábio’s eyes looking for any sign of falsity; he couldn’t believe what he had said, it was impossible. Sure, Cristiano was rich and good-looking but that was it. That’s what everyone else saw. So, certainly, Fábio had to be lying. The only thing he found in his boyfriend’s eyes, though, was an infinite tenderness and the purest honesty he had ever seen. So for a moment he let himself believe that maybe Fábio was right; maybe he should listen more to him and a little less to his father, maybe he should listen more to himself. 

“No one has never really believed in me.”

Fábio took Cristiano’s face between his hands and whispered. “I believe in you. Am I not enough?” 

Cristiano didn’t know what he had made to deserve the gift of the gods that was looking at him but he felt infinitely grateful for it. 

“You’re more than enough. I love you Fáb.”

It was the first time he had ever said it. He hadn’t thought about it; it wasn’t part of the plan. They were supposed to have fun and relax, not to get all-deep about their feelings but those words had sprang out of him without any kind of control or whatsoever. They had come from the pit of his stomach and that’s how Cristiano knew they were nothing but the truth. Of course he was just a kid; he knew barely nothing about love yet but he was sure that this was what it felt like. This was the beginning of his discovery of what love really meant. 

The vulnerability he had seen earlier in the blonde’s eyes came back and it was breathtaking. Cristiano could almost feel his heart between his hands when Fábio whispered, brokenly: “I don’t think anyone has ever loved me.”

Cristiano took the boy by the neck and pushed him towards him until their noses were touching. “I do. Am I not enough?”

“More than I ever hoped for.”

The kiss was slow but demanding and forceful. It was a kiss full of promises; it was the kiss of two kids who didn’t know how to express everything they were going through yet. They would cherish that kiss for years to come; they would have thousands of others, different kisses. Some of those kisses would be better; more skilled, wiser, easier; some would not bear the comparison. There would be many types of kisses but never would they find again the sheer honesty of that first kiss of love. 

Years later, when asked about their first love, their minds would always come back to that night; the night where they kissed and played in the water, with no one around but the moon shining on their innocence and confidence in their feelings. Their memories would always wonder back to the night when their childhood ceased between kisses, tender words and lovely stares. If asked on a day of honesty, they would confess that no other night had ever measured up to that one; they would confess, a smile on their face and a hint of melancholy in their voices, that it had been the best night of their lives. 

 

MOURINHO & THE GUYS; sometimes you have to take a stand for yourself.

 

The news had not been well received by everyone. Some people were really mad and Mourinho was having a hard time handling the situation. 

“Enough!”

Gareth scoffed. You see, Gareth wasn’t the type to rebel; he had been educated to take the blows without complaining but he was starting to think that it always the best thing to do. 

“No, it’s not enough! We attend school here. Is this the kind of lesson you want to teach us? If you have the right daddy, you can do whatever the fuck you want! What’s this? Ethics class?” 

Mourinho breathed deeply before talking. “This is real life class, Bale. Sometimes, things are unfair. It’s not the first time it happens and, let me tell you, it won’t be the last.”

Gareth chuckled while Wayne got himself reeled up. “What are we supposed to do then? Take it gracefully?”

Mourinho sighed. “Study, become men of value and fight as much as you can. For now, yes; you must take it.”

Mourinho exited the room followed by the rich kids who didn’t seem very affected; some of them even smiled on their way out. 

Gareth shook his head. “Where is Fáb?”

Mesut, who was entering the classroom right then, answered. “Nowhere to be seen.”

Gareth sighed. He would have like the blonde’s support. “Fine, whatever. We’ll fill him in when he comes back.” 

Gareth marched to the front of the class and popped himself up on the teacher’s desk. 

“Guys, god knows our lives in this school had not been especially easy but things have gotten out of control.”

Words of approval were heard upon the students left. 

“I have learned something in this school; nobody cares about us.”

Cheers erupted into the crowd. “Mesut has been sent to the hospital with serious injuries. He had the balls to denounce who did it and yet it’s been totally useless!”

Everyone nodded while Mesut sighed. Silva hugged him by the shoulders to give him reassurance. 

“Fábio got everything he owned burnt. We know it was The Logia and what is being done? Nothing, absolutely nothing!” 

Gareth took a deep breath and let out a stronger voice.

“What happens if next time they decide to burn a person instead of her things? What happens if someone is sent to the hospital and never comes back? What the fuck happens then?”

Kaká watched fascinated how Gareth talked. He could barely recognize his best friend. This guy seemed like a different person all together; his shy, sweet and easy-going boy had just disappeared. 

“I’ll tell you something, I am not willing to find out! Are you?”

The crowd echoed “No” loudly and Silva spoke. “What do we do about it?”

Gareth nodded; it was indeed a good question. “We need protection and the sad truth is nobody is going to give it to us. We’ll have to do it by ourselves. We have to take a stand here guys; we need to organize and defend ourselves.”

“You are pretty right for once, Bale.”

Leo’s voice shocked everybody to his core. Álvaro and Iker advanced further into the room behind the shorter boy.

“What do you want Messi?”

“To help.”

Gareth could hardly contain the laughter. Leo Messi helping them? What else? Mary Poppins was real? 

“It’s not funny.”

Leo smirked. “It’s not a joke. Look, we may not be friends but The Logia is not better for us than it is for you. I don’t want a group of lunatics running this fucking place.”

Leo popped on the table and looked to the crowd gathered. “They are powerful. The only way we can beat them is teaming up. Let’s do this shit together then; afterwards, everybody can keep doing as he pleases.”

Leo turned to Gareth and looked him in the eye before offering him his hand. “What do you say?”

Well, thought Gareth, desperate measures for desperate times. He shook Leo’s hand and, even though the boys ignored still it, a new era began in the Elite Way School. 

 

THE NEXT DAY; be careful what you do. 

 

Leo’s sleep was being permanently disturbed by a stupid noise. He kept turning around shuffling in his sheets; trying to zone out the world and its inhabitants. The noise, however, was quit persisting. Leo opened an eye reluctantly and glanced at his watch; 10 am, he guessed it was too decent of an hour for him to complain. He sat up and yawned before looking around him; guys kept entering and exiting the room bringing clothes and things into it. Cristiano was excitedly giving them orders; who else but Cristiano would be such a morning person? 

“What the hell man? Where were you yesterday?”

Cristiano smiled; Leo could have sworn he had stars shining in his chocolate eyes. 

“I took Fábio out.”

Leo sighed and dropped down again. He looked curiously at his best friend. “You’re still going out with him? You won the bet man. I already gave you the reward. Drop it.”  
Cristiano could feel the color being drawn from his face. The bet; the stupid bet, he had totally forgotten it. He had to think of something fast.

“I know but he is so attached, you know? He’s had so much shit this week that I pity him. You should see how he looks at me; it would be too cruel to break it now. I’ll give him one or two weeks to get over it then I’ll be a free bird again.”

“Whatever man but don’t you think it’s going to be worst? The more time, the more of an attachment.” 

Cristiano shook his head. “It is better this way, believe me.”

Leo shrugged. “What’s all this stuff? You already have plenty of things. Stop filling the room full of shit.”

Cristiano shook his head. “It’s not for me, it’s for Fábio.”

Leo looked at Cris as if he had grown two heads suddenly. “Pardon me?”

“Everything he had got burnt down and he hasn’t any money. I thought I could help. It’s what a good boyfriend would do, right?”

Leo didn’t know whether he should be amused or not. “Cris, you do remember that it’s all an act, right?”

Cristiano nodded eagerly. “I’m just being nice to the poor guy.”

“Whatever. Just stop with the fucking noise.”

There were two things happening in the room that Cristiano couldn’t see. 

One of them was Leo smiling at his friend’s behavior. Did Cris truly believe he was fooling him? He must really think he was stupid. It was painfully obvious his best friend was enjoying himself way too much for a bet. Leo chuckled; Cristiano, the eternal romantic. 

The other one was Sergio eavesdropping the conversation of his roommates, lying silently under his sheets and feigning to sleep. 

 

FÁBIO’S ROOM. Loving you. 

 

“You should have seen him! He looked like a revolutionary leader!”

Álvaro was screaming as he imitated Gareth’s speech. Fábio laughed whole-heartedly at the show.

“Stop exaggerating man! It wasn’t like that.”

“It totally was!”

Gareth shook his head while Fábio kept making fun of him.

“I didn’t know you had in you Bale. Since when are you the reincarnation of Che Guevara?”

Gareth took Fábio by the neck and ruffled his hair. “Since you’re not here when needed Blondie! Where the hell were you by the way?”

Fábio was about to answer when Cristiano entered the room followed by a group of guys and plenty of things. The blonde looked at his boyfriend confused while Álvaro and Gareth kept exchanging glances. Fábio stood up, took Cristiano’s wrist and dragged him out of the room. 

“What’s all of this Cris?”

“Since you told Martha we were going shopping, I thought it would be suspect if you came back without a single thing. Plus, you obviously needed things Fáb.”

Fábio looked into his room speechless. “Did you buy me all of that?”

Cristiano shrugged while Fábio shook his head. “Look, don’t let your pride get in the way, okay? You don’t have money and I have plenty, it’s not a bid deal.”

“It is a big deal for me.”

Cristiano took his boyfriend by the waist. “Hey, you’d do the same thing for me if the roles were reversed. And don’t you dare thinking about not taking it because I won’t have it back.”

“I don’t need all of this.”

Cris smiled sweetly at his boyfriend. “Fine, I bought a lot of things because I didn’t know what you needed exactly or what you wanted. Look through it and keep whatever you want. I’ll send back the rest. Okay?”

Fábio looked doubtfully at Cris. 

“Fábio, okay?”

Fábio reluctantly nodded. “But I’ll pay you back whenever I can which probably won’t be in a while but still; I’ll do it.”

Cristiano nodded to humor his boyfriend although they both knew deep down that he would never accept that money. 

 

SERGIO Vs. The World. Sergio goes mad. 

 

“I talked to your dad. We won’t be taking action against you but Raúl’s idea is interesting. He agrees it would be good to you to go to therapy.”

“I don’t want to!”

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice.” 

Sergio could feel tears coming into his eyes. It was unfair.

“I don’t belong to The Logia.”

Florentino’s eyes changed instantly. A storm had exploded in them.

“Listen to me son and listen carefully. The Logia does not exist in this school. It was eradicated years ago.”

Sergio snorted while Florentino sighed. Maybe if he pretended hard enough The Logia was gone, it would become true. 

“Look Sergio, therapy is going to help whatever your problem is. It’ll be a month and you’ll be back. There is no need to make a scene about it.”

Sergio stomped angrily outside the room and took the corridor with decision in each step. He would be forced to therapy but not before he takes it out on the origin of every one of his sufferings. In fact, Sergio had only a problem and it was Blondie. 

He got to the room and opened it with a hard kick. Fábio was alone; trying to regain some of the sleep he had lost the night before. Sergio took him by surprise and Fábio had to take the blows. 

“This is your fault! It’s all your fault!” 

The kicks were hard and in a few seconds Fábio was spitting blood. The blonde, however, wasn’t Mesut. He soon found his strength back and fought as hard as he could. He wasn’t as strong as Sergio but he had enough energy to compensate. The fight was ferocious and equal; their grunts were loud and people started gathering around. 

“What the hell?” Neymar looked at Marcelo. The boys were passing by when they heard strange noises. 

“Fuck, let’s go get Leo. He said Sergio couldn’t get into any more trouble.”

The guys made a sprint and found a group of boys gathered around Rául planning the downfall of The Logia. 

“Leo!”

Leo rolled his eyes; why did those two idiots always come up when he was in the middle of something important? Couldn’t they do anything by themselves?

“What? And it better be good!”

“Sergio and Fábio are fighting in Fábio’s room.” 

As soon as the words have left Marcelo’s mouth, Cris makes a sprint towards the room and is followed suit by Gareth, Álvaro, Iker and Leo. He only has to take some stairs and a corridor but it seems one of the longest runs of his life. What he sees when arriving in front of the open room freezes his blood. Sergio is standing in front of Fábio, a knife in his right hand. Both men are disheveled and bleeding, studying each other. Cristiano feels Leo’s hand on his arm, trying to calm him down. Leo had always been the reasonable one out of the two. 

“Don’t. We’ll talk him out of it.”

Cristiano knows he should listen to Leo; he truly believes his best friend can talk someone out of anything but Fábio is being threatened with a knife and Cristiano’s reason has flown out of the window the moment he had seen the knife. He couldn’t take the risk; not after last night. He looks at Fábio signaling him to not move or talk. The plan is simple and adrenaline driven; it consists in taking Sergio by surprise. Everything lasts a few seconds but the action seems to be shot in ralenti. Cristiano marches forward and launches himself onto Sergio who drops the knife by his side; Fábio is fast to catch it and throw it out of the room where Leo puts it safely into his back pocket. 

“What the fuck? Who do you think you are to do that?”

If someone had told Cristiano a few weeks ago that he would be angrily punching one of his best friends, he would have laughed it off. Now, however, he couldn’t stop. The guys were yelling at him to stop but the only image running through his mind was one of a knife pointed at Fábio. 

“Cris! Cris, stop! I’m all right. I’m fine.”

It’s only when he feels Fábio’s arms tightly around his waist that he finally lets go collapsing onto the floor.

“You’re fine?”

“I’m fine. I promise.” Cristiano has trouble believing it but he calms himself down in his lover’s embrace. 

Iker enters the room and gets down to Sergio who’s sitting on the floor, his arms tightly hugging his knees. 

“Sergio, come on. You need help. It’s okay now. It will be okay.”

Sergio is openly crying now and Iker, who has never seen his best friend cry, does not really know what to do. 

“You don’t understand! It’s his fault! It’s his fucking fault that you all believe I am in The Logia. I didn’t burn his fucking things. Everything was fine before he came here.” 

“He wasn’t the one to beat up Özil!” Cristiano retorts angrily from the other side of the room while Fábio tries to calm him down by caressing his hair and whispering he’s okay. 

Sergio shrugs Iker off and points his finger at Cristiano. “You shut up! I went to you and Leo and you didn’t even get him to the fucking hospital! You’re not better than I am Cris.” 

Leo sighs and looks down while Gareth makes all kind of horrible things to him in his mind. Cristiano, still on the floor, can feel Fábio’s muscles tensing around him. He looks at him pleading with his eyes; please don’t be mad at me, please. Fábio seems shaken but he still doesn’t let go of Cristiano’s waist and the brunette thinks that maybe he’s still got a chance. 

“Sergio, relax. I don’t know what’s going on. It may not be The Logia, it may be some other thing but you need the help.”

“You shut up!”

Sergio shrugs Iker off again and stands up. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re all angels now?”

Sergio snorts and points his finger at Iker. “If The Logia is powerful again it’s because of you dump shit!”

He then turned towards Leo. “You! You’ve never cared if we treated the poor guys wrong Leo! You’ve never given a shit about anything other than yourself.”

He lets his arm down and looks at Cristiano. “And you. Look at you. What are you now Cris? The school’s whore is an angel all of a sudden?”

“Shut up!” Cristiano wants to get up and punch him again but Fábio won’t let him.

Sergio looks at Fábio and whispers to him. “He’s fucked everyone in this damn school. He’s even fucked Leo for god’s sake!”

“Not your business!” Leo’s voice interrupts Sergio’s speech fearing Cristiano would end up losing the blonde for whom he knew his best friend felt. 

“He doesn’t know what he’s saying. I’ll explain.”

Cristiano whispers tenderly at Fábio and the blonde nods because, in all honesty, Cristiano’s sex past is not his problem at all. He wouldn’t judge him.

Sergio, however, isn’t finished. 

“Oh, you’ll explain? Then you should also explain to your boyfriend that you’re dating him only because of a stupid bet you made with Leo.”

This time it’s instantaneous; Fábio’s arms stopped applying any kind of pressure and Cristiano can feel the loss. 

Sergio chuckles. “I don’t know why you protect him so much if you don’t even care.”

Sergio comes close to Fábio and Cristiano to whisper so only the three of them can hear. “He won’t break up with you because he pities you. Poor little boy whose things got burnt and who’s in love with a guy who never even liked him.”

The venom is dripping of every word. Fábio stares into the space without a word, gesture or even a breath. Cristiano keeps whispering that it’s not like that, that he cares, that he loves him, that he can explain but it’s too late; the world has already stopped.

“So don’t give me lessons! You are all as bad as I am.” 

Then he runs outside the room and everything goes to hell. 

 

“This is true: if there was one thing my father taught me, it's that endings never work out the way you want them to--that they're terrible, and this one is no different. They're like the last drops of wine, the final puffs of a cigarette. They're Sunday nights, or the last afternoon of summer. They're flat tires and wet pairs of socks and cold dinners. They're the sort of thing that--no matter the effort, no matter the discipline--no one can get right.” 

Grant Ginder, Driver's Education


	16. Get up, stand up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is centered on the aftermath of Fábio and Cristiano's break up. 
> 
> It's a bit messy… but I really wanted to post so I hope you'll forgive the disjointed aspect of it all. 
> 
> Next chapter will be full of people and so much varied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you'll miss me a bit :) 
> 
> Sorry for the mistakes and enjoy your chapter!

“The heart was made to be broken.” 

Oscar Wilde

 

A whole week had gone by; the days had been excruciatingly slow for all of them, shared between sadness, broken pieces of shattered hearts and common thinking about the Logia.   
That day Fábio had stood up without a word slowly walking towards the door and disappearing in front of Cristiano’s sad eyes. He had entered his own room, slipped in his bed and cried. For three days and three nights he had simply cried, cocooned into his blanket. It had stopped on a Wednesday, thanks to Mesut.

That Wednesday... 

When Gareth stumbled into Silva and Mesut’s room in the middle of the night, the boys were surprised. He dropped a blanket on the floor and stretched on it before bringing his hands to his face. 

“I can’t take it anymore.”

Upon seeing the confusion on his friends’ faces, he decided to elaborate a bit more. 

“He’s still crying. He won’t talk, he won’t eat, he won’t do anything but cry and whimper and I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Mesut and Silva exchanged worried looks. 

“I know I should stay and help him but I am useless and it just breaks my fucking heart.”

Silva sat next to Gareth and hugged him. “It’s okay man. We get you. Go to sleep for a bit, yeah?”

While the two boys were talking, Mesut left unnoticed and walked until he found himself in front of the room of a certain blonde very dear to him. He knocked and felt compassion towards the diminished version of Álvaro that opened the door. It looked like nobody had slept for days in the room. 

“You should go to my room and sleep with Silva and Gareth. I’ll take it from here.”

Álvaro seemed to battle with himself for a moment; he certainly was torn between the guilt for leaving and the aching need to get a few hours of sleep without crying in the background. He finally nodded and listened to Mesut. 

The German entered the room and sat on the floor by Fábio’s bed. The only thing he could think about is how hurt the blonde must have been in order to not hide his suffering from his friends. Mesut hated what it meant; he hated to realize how much the blonde had cared for Cristiano. He’d do anything to make it better but he is pretty lucid about his incompetence on the matter. 

“I’d love to tell you that I know what you’re going through but I don’t have a fucking clue about it. I should tell you that it’s going to be okay, you deserve better and that bastard is the one losing the game but I don’t think it would be very useful either.”

The blonde wasn’t answering just yet but he had stopped crying at least. It must be a good sign, thought Mesut. 

“So what I’m going to do is just stay here. You can cry all you want but we won’t leave; we may take turns, like now, but we’re not going to leave. So don’t pretend you’re alone in this because you’re not.”

That being said, Mesut just slipped into Gareth’s bed and turned around while Fábio felt his last tears drying on his cheeks. 

 

Fábio stopped crying but he stayed silent nonetheless, sitting by his window and staring into the space. Everyday Cristiano spent hours knocking on his door and waiting in front of it, everyday he went ignored. Fábio would send him back the things he had brought for him every evening, the morning after the things would always be back. The blonde didn’t need to do anything, Álvaro and Gareth made sure he wouldn’t have to talk to the boy who broke his heart. On Friday, Álvaro almost gave in; he believed Cristiano wasn’t a bad guy per se, he believed his remorse and the sound of pounding on the door was starting to drive him crazy. He understood Fábio’s pain, although he couldn’t help but think that it was a shame to have two persons being miserable on either side of the door when they could have been happy together. Gareth wasn’t as forgiving. 

That Friday... 

Gareth violently took Álvaro’s arm and pushed him off the door before he did something stupid like open it to fucking pretty Ken. He stepped out and closed the door making sure Cristiano wouldn’t be anywhere near enough Fábio so the blonde never had to see his lying face. 

“You’re not getting in as long as I’m breathing.”

Cristiano snorted and restrained himself because, right then, there was nothing he wanted more than punching Gareth’s face. 

“Sooner or later he’ll have to see my face. Do you realize that?”

“Sadly, yes. The later the better though.”

“Why don’t we let him decide?”

“Oh, believe me. If there’s somebody on earth who doesn’t want to see your face more than myself, it has to be Fábio.”

Cristiano tried hard to ignore the pain those words inflicted upon him; he also wanted to ignore the reason why they hurt so he did what he always did when he felt cornered; he attacked. 

“What is it Gareth? Is it really Fábio that’s bothering you or is this about Ricky choosing me over you last year?”

Cristiano knew it was a bad move. It didn’t make sense. This situation was entirely his fault; he was the only reason Fábio was hiding away from him. Gareth was only trying to be a good friend, protecting the blonde from a person who had hurt him. Cris’ words were unfair but who cared? He was too far-gone to care. 

Gareth inspired deeply and grasped Cristiano’s shirt between his hands. His expression was one of the fiercest the older boy had ever seen. He knew, right then, that he had fucked up big time. 

“Has it ever occurred to you that this may not being about your fucking persona? I know it’s hard to imagine but could you, for once, not think with your gigantic ego?”

Cristiano looked at Gareth dumbfounded. Never had that boy talked to him like that, not even with the Ricky thing. 

“Fábio is a miracle, don’t you get it? He’s gone through so much. His life has been so fucked up. He had every excuse in the world to become a horrible person but he did not. He came out still believing in people. Do you know how rare is that Cristiano? The fact that he is this way is a miracle and you don’t have the right to take it away. You don’t have the right to come and ruin something that life itself has not been able to ruin.”

Gareth was panting and Cristiano couldn’t find it in him to protest a single word. 

“So no Cristiano, this is not about you or Ricky or me. It’s about my wonderful friend whose heart you just shattered because, as always, you were too busy thinking about yourself to care for anybody else.”

Cris wanted to deny it. He really did but he couldn’t find the words. He had been the one to fuck up; he needed to own his mistake.

“Just stay clear of him and let’s hope you haven’t done something that can’t be repaired.”

Gareth went back into his room angrily leaving a stunned Cristiano behind. It was the last time Cris was seen trying to get to see Fábio. 

Gareth’s words were very hard on Cristiano. The boy was drowning in guilt but it was his pain that was unbearable. He had to deal with two pains; the pain of having lost Fábio and the pain of being the responsible of his tears. He had wanted to protect him at all costs and not once had he thought that he was the one he needed to be protected from. Although he was very young, girls and boys had come and go in his life but this one was special. Since the very beginning he had felt something special; it was surreal, wasn’t it? Sometimes you connect with people instantly creating a deeper bond than with others you have known all your life. What was even more surreal was to have already lost him, barely after getting him. So Cris surrendered and decided to live in his bed to never leave it again; Leo, however, had other plans in mind.

On Saturday

Leo sighed looking around his bedroom. He was getting extremely tired of all this shit. Sergio’s bed was gone and it was as if he had never been there to begin with. The lump on the other bed, however, was a great reminder of Sergio’s presence in their lives. Leo didn’t know what to do anymore; he had tried everything but Cristiano would just stay in his bed, whimpering. Leo hated whimpers. 

“Are you going to do something apart from breathing?”

“You should be happy I’m breathing. I might stop at some point.”

Leo walked to his best friend’s bed and sat on it. 

“It’s been almost a week; it’s time to get out there. You should help us with The Logia thing.”

His friend shook his head strongly and hugged himself tighter. “I don’t give a fuck about it, or anything else for that matter. He hates me.”

Leo sighed and caressed lightly Cristiano’s form. He had tried to give him space but he couldn’t hold back the big question anymore. 

“Why did you do it?”

“What?”

“If you liked him so much, why did you take that stupid bet?”

Usually, Cristiano’s flings were the ones crying when it ended. This time, however, his best friend seemed as broken as a teenager could be. 

“I thought nobody would approve.”

Leo had the strong feeling that by “nobody”, what Cris really meant was him and he felt sick to his stomach. 

“What do you mean? Last year you dated Kaká and I didn’t say a thing about it.”

Cristiano sat up in his bed and looked at his best friend open mouthed. 

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew; I’m not an idiot.”

“Why didn’t you say something about it?”

Leo shrugged. “You didn’t, I guessed it wasn’t important enough to talk about.”

Cristiano shook his head repeatedly. 

“So you didn’t mind?”

“I do believe your taste in men is very questionable, although I do prefer Blondie to Kaká, but why would I mind?”

“Seeing how we treated the poor guys I thought that you would disapprove.”

Leo could feel his heart breaking a little bit at the confession. Was he such a horrible person that his best friend believed their relationship depended on whom he dated? 

“Cris, you’re my best friend; I don’t fucking care who you date. I just want you happy.”

At the moment, inappropriate or not, the only thing Cristiano could do was to laugh. 

“I’m sorry; if I had known you believed that, I would have corrected you.”

“I should be the one apologizing. I should have gave you a little more credit Leo.”

Leo smiled sadly at his friend and took his hand into his. “You shouldn’t give me more credit, but you should give it to our friendship. We’re stronger than this shit.”

Cristiano nodded and felt grateful for his best friend; he seemed to be the only person he could care about without fucking him up. “Was it that obvious that I cared about Fábio?”

Leo’s answer was to loudly chuckle. “You were walking with a sign on your front head that read “In love”. I’m sorry Sergio fucked up everything, Cris.”

Cristiano shook his head before answering. “He didn’t fucked it up, I did. He only let it out in the open. Now Fábio will never trust in me again.”

Leo nodded. “Still, it wasn’t his place to do. Maybe Blondie will forgive you.”

Cristiano smiled sadly. “I don’t think so.” 

 

FÁBIO & MESUT

Mesut continued to chew his apple while Fábio stared through his beloved window. He wouldn’t leave his side even though he felt way loner than when he was truly alone. 

“I’d give everything I have to know what the heck you’re thinking. What is it about the window that makes it so interesting, Fáb?”

 

FÁBIO’S POV 

Sitting by the window, he wanted to scream. He wanted to throw himself on the floor and roll until somebody or something stopped him from feeling the way he was feeling. He wanted to tell them how unbearable it was; he wanted to yell at them to never fall in love, to never let somebody in unless they wanted to feel a hand reaping their chest, snatching their heart and throwing it into the nearest rubbish bin. He wanted to hurt physically so the fire burning him from inside could at least be visible. He wanted it to stop, just to stop. He would give anything to anyone that would make it stop. It was as simple as that. He just wanted to breath again without the sensation that his lungs had disappeared somewhere with his trust in humankind. He silently prayed for the devil to come and offer him a deal; he would give up on feelings and emotions permanently without a thought about it. He wanted all of that and yet he did nothing. After days of crying in his bed, he just sat by the window staring into the space. He knew they were worried about him; he knew they needed a word of reassurance but it wouldn’t come out. Nothing would come out. What he felt was too chaotic and important to be expressed; silence was the only answer, the only thing he was still owner of. So he stayed in a catatonic state, rocking back and forth, hoping that it would somehow stop and that, maybe, if he fought through it now, he could survive the turmoil that was going on inside him in the end. He just hoped Mesut would never found out what was really going on through that window. 

 

FÁBIO’S FRIENDS

“How is he doing?” 

Asked Rooney while stuffing a chicken wing into his mouth. The boys were enjoying a quiet dinner without the blonde who had barely eaten an apple per day since the incident. 

“He doesn’t cry anymore.” Answered Álvaro, pouring water in his glass. 

“That’s great!” Said Fernando, trying to cheer up the mood. 

“Not so much. Now he just sits by the window, looking lost. He won’t say a word and I think he must have shed some pounds. He wasn’t exactly fat to begin with.” 

“He needs time Gareth, he’s getting there.” Answered Mesut.

“Is he, really? I’m worried, he needs help.”

“We should talk to Ancelotti.” 

Kaká’s words surprised everyone around the table. 

“What for?” Asked Silva.

“He helped me last year. He’s good with words and emotions.”

“So you’re suggesting we go to see a teacher and explain to him our friend’s complicated sentimental life?”

Kaká nodded while Mesut sighed. “We don’t have anything to lose, guys.” 

 

ANCELOTTI & FÁBIO

When Ancelotti enters his room, Fábio isn’t really surprised. Sure, he isn’t his teacher but he trains him on the pitch with the rest of the boys. He knew it was a matter of time before the boys asked for help; he was getting annoying and was very well aware of it. If he could have brought himself to care, Fábio would have been touched by his friend’s gesture. 

“I know what you’re going to say.”

“So you still are able to talk. What am I going to say then, psychic?”

“That I’m just a kid. That’s just a little crisis about something not even worthy of being called love. That even though I think the world has ended it has barely begun. Am I right?”

He smiled at the young boy. “More or less. It is true that the world, for you, has barely started to spin around and that you are just a kid.”

He then frowned and looked at him. “But I wouldn’t downplay your first love sorrow. It is an important matter. The world may not have ended but yours has definitely changed.”

Fábio nodded. “It sucks. It hurts way too much.”

He chuckles. “It does. Nothing is ever as polished and beautiful as it was upon a time, Fábio. It’s because it is a first time. You still don’t know that the world is going to keep on spinning. Later, it isn’t as painful.”

“I’m not sure that is a consoling thing.”

Ancelotti smiled down at his pupil’s wisdom. “Neither do I, but it’s the way it is.”

“I just want this fucking thing in my stomach to stop. I want to be the guy I was before.”

“The thing in your stomach will stop. You’ll go through hard times and one day, without even noticing it, you’ll realize that you’re breathing again without your lungs burning and that your smile isn’t forced.”

“When will that happen?”

“Nobody knows, it depends. Forget about being the same boy you were though, not going to happen. It never does.”

“Not fair.”

“Not necessarily a bad thing though. You should eat a bit.”

“I’m not there yet.”

“You’re not going to get there by magic. You need to force yourself a bit.”

Fábio sighed. 

“Your friends deserve to know you’re alive, don’t they?”

“Barely alive.”

The old man chuckles and remembers fondly his own first sorrow. It was so long ago and yet, he could feel it all over again. 

“Barely alive. They still deserve to know.”

Fábio nods and gets up. “I guess I can at least show up.”

“That’s the only thing we’re asking.”

FÁBIO & KAKÁ

“So you knew, huh?”

Ricky turns around to see Fábio standing there. It’s the first time he has seen the blonde since the fiasco and he doesn’t really know how to react. Fábio decides for him though; he sits by his side and stares into the space, Ricky can feel his friend’s presence is only physical. He’s far, far away. 

“I’m so happy you’re finally talking but what are you talking about?”

“I know about Cris and you.” Fábio has trouble saying Cristiano’s name but he manages to say it without coughing. 

Ricky sighed. “I thought I was doing the right thing. He was different with you Fáb, I really thought that...”

Fábio never lets him end the sentence. It’s too painful to hear; at least it is for now, although it probably will be forever. 

“Turns out you were wrong.”

“I’m sorry but it wasn’t my place to tell Fáb.”

Fábio chuckles sadly and shakes his head. “It wasn’t your place to decide but it was to tell.”

“It could have been different.”

Fábio smiled. “I’d jump into it anyway.”

Kaká looks expectantly at the blonde. “I would still have felt things for him and, in the end, I would have listened to them.”

“So we would be at the exact same place.”

“No way. I would be sitting next to a friend who told me everything he knew so I could make a real decision. Now, I’m sitting to a guy who left me crash into a wall without blinking.”

“Sometimes the truth is not useful Fábio.”

“That’s something only liars would say Ricky. Truth may not always be the best option but it is the most honest and friends deserve honesty.”

CRISTIANO’S LETTER

When Fábio came back to his room he found a letter. 

“Hi Fáb, 

I would have preferred to say this to your face but you obviously don’t feel the same.   
I know I fucked up, big time. I’m not going to find myself any excuse; there aren’t any.   
The only thing I want to say is that what I felt was never a lie. Every word, every touch, every laugh was as real as it gets. 

Don’t believe anything else if you want Fábio; don’t believe in me ever again but please, please, do believe that. You have to believe that I love you. Don’t ever doubt that. I’ll leave you to hate me now.  
Love,   
Cris.” 

Funny, thought Fábio, how the shredded pieces of paper in the rubbish bin looked so much like his own heart at the moment. 

THE LOGIA PROBLEM

Leo felt like punching his own head. They had spent hours in that room and had yet to find a solution. Was he the only one with brains in that stupid place?

“We need a plan.” Said Rooney.

Villa laughed. “No shit Sherlock, a brain for you wouldn’t be superfluous.” 

“Stop it. He was trying to help.” Villa directs a crooked smile at Silva; so Bambi could stand up to him, interesting. 

“Are we over the bickering? We need to set a trap.”

“How?” Asked Kaká.

“We need a bait.” Answered Leo. 

That was exactly the moment Fábio chose to enter the room. Everyone stared at him; the blonde seemed like a totally different guy. Too skinny and pale because of a week without almost any food or sleep, he had dropped his sadness to replace it with an unusual confidence. 

“I’ll do it.”

For once, Cristiano and Gareth thought exactly the same thing; no, no way. It was a kamikaze move, a stupid one; somebody else should do it. Cristiano, however, knew he had lost any right to express his opinion on the subject. A deadly glare from Fábio stopped any attempt on Gareth’s part. 

“I’m the one they want the most. I’m perfect for the job.” For the rest of his speech, Fábio only stares at Mesut and Silva.

“I told you when I came here that things didn’t have to be the way they were. I meant it. Let’s do this.”

Leo was the first to accept under Cristiano’s threatening glare. “Great Blondie, your suicidal instinct is providential.”

Fábio snorted before coming nose to nose with Leo. “It’s called ethics, solidarity, strength. You know, the kind of things whose meaning you totally ignore.”

On the other side of the room, Marcelo put his hand up while Neymar hide his head in his hands. 

Messi grunted, he was actually enjoying the conversation. “What?”

“We have something to tell you.”

“It’s not the moment to discuss your haircuts guys.”

“We kindofbelongtothelogiaandburnthisthings.”

He said it so fast that it was impossible to understand.

“Pardon me?”

Marcelo inhaled deeply. “We kind of belong to the logia and burnt his things.”

Leo could have sworn his brain had stopped working; Cristiano and Gareth, on the other hand, were already on the two boys. 

 

“Do you believe there's hope at the end?" I ask. "No," she says simply, looking away. "No, I don't, but I'm still going.” 

Patrick Ness, The Knife of Never Letting Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how are the dynamics evolving?


	17. My life, my decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparing for the battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Than you :)

“You will never be entirely comfortable. This is the truth behind the champion - he is always fighting something. To do otherwise is to settle.” 

Julien Smith, The Flinch

 

PLOTTING AGAINST THE LOGIA. 

Fábio was looking exasperated at the bunch of people fighting in front of him. Obviously, he hadn’t do things right since arriving at this school from hell. He got up on a table and screamed from the top of his lungs: “STOP!”

The ones that had been deeply immersed in the fight a few moments before turned their head, surprised at the blonde’s outburst. Cristiano and Gareth were the ones to look at him an expression of total awe; it wasn’t like Fábio to react like that. In a small voice, his friend spoke: “Just trying to defend you. They burnt your things.”

Fábio had to breathe deeply and remember that Gareth was his friend, probably the person who had been the nicest to him since he arrived. “Do I look to you like a fucking damsel in distress? Thank you for the gesture Gareth but I can perfectly defend myself.”

Gareth observed his friend opened mouthed; what had happened to the sweet guy that was crying in his bed over a breakup? The one standing in front of him looked everything but fragile. 

“Now, if you would all be nice enough to let those two idiots breathe, maybe we could get the whole story and a key help to defeat the fucking logia from hell.”

Leo applauded from behind; quit admiring of the blonde’s speech. “Please, appreciate the wisdom of such words.” Coming forward, he riveted his gaze on Marcelo and Neymar’s guilty faces before adding: “I indeed am very curious about the whole story because there must be one, right?”

In front of the absolute silence, Leo kept advancing towards his so-called friends. “Come on guys, there must be a story. You didn’t only wake up one day and thought, hmmm what could I do today? Oh, I know! I’ll join the group that fucking try to destroy me and my friends last year!”

Marcelo, ashamed and a bit scared, dropped his head; Neymar, on the other hand, couldn’t tear his eyes apart from Messi’s. “We didn’t know they were so bad.”

Leo had to chuckle at that. “Oh, and asking you to burn a guy’s things wasn’t clue enough?”

“It was a mistake,” mumbled Neymar. 

“A mistake?” Leo approached the boy as a lion would his prey before stopping a few centimeters away. “Sometimes I have the impression you two take your brains out of your head in the morning, put them into the toaster and eat them with jam.” The last word is punctuated by a blast in Neymar’s face and the boy wants to die right there. 

“Very well,” interrupted Fábio’s voice, “if you are kind enough, we’d love for you to leave your domestic affairs for later.”

Leo turned around surprised; nobody talked to him like that. He was ready to reciprocate when he caught Cristiano’s pleading look to not push the blonde. He sighed and controlled himself; the things you do for a best friend, he thought. 

“You’re still in it, right?” Marcelo and Neymar nodded. “Who is in there?” 

“We don’t know,” Marcelo whispered. “They always wear masks, they don’t trust us enough to let us in the secret yet.”

Leo grunted; they couldn’t do something right even when it was a stupidity. 

“I have an idea. They could be useful.” Kaká’s voice added to the whole debate. A silent conversation with Fábio was held. The blonde was not anywhere near ready to accept Kaká as a friend but he could work with him; he could work with everybody in order to get this done. 

“We’re listening.”

CRISTIANO & MESUT 

“I wanted to thank you.”

Cristiano abandoned his laptop for a few seconds in order to look at the boy talking to him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Mesut smiled and sat next to him on the corridor. “He wouldn’t look at me twice, you know? He was totally smitten with you.”

The taller boy frowned; was he talking about Fábio? 

“Yet you achieved to do probably one of the few things he wouldn’t forgive.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Mesut shook his head. “Not at all, I was serious. Thanks to your stupidity, I’ve got a shot and, let me tell you, I’m going to make the best out of it. I’m better for him anyway; you would have kept on hurting him, wouldn’t you?”

The boy stood up, still smiling, and started his way down the corridor humming softly. Cristiano was too stunned to react for a few seconds then snorted; never in a million years would Fábio fall for that ordinary guy. 

ÁLVARO & XABI

“I talked to Iker.”

Álvaro’s head shot up in the direction of Xabi’s voice. “Since when do you talk to him?” He knew it was a stupid comeback but he was too shocked to do better. 

“Since we are all a big happy family trying to take down the Logia.” Álvaro couldn’t hold in the smile at the irony of Xabi’s words; he had missed that irony. “He told me some interesting things.”

“I’ll kill the bastard.”  
Xabi snorted. “Later, maybe. Why didn’t you tell me Álvaro? We’re best friends. We trust each other; well, at least I thought we did.” 

Álvaro’s heart breaks upon seeing the expression of pain on Xabi’s face and, for a moment, he thinks that endangering him would have been better than being the responsible of that expression. “We did and we do.”

Xabi shook his head. “No we don’t, at least I don’t anymore. You lied to me.” 

He’s looking at Álvaro as if he is saying the most obvious thing in the world; 2+2=4, the earth revolves around the sun and telling him what happened the exact moment that it happened was the only possible solution in their world. “I was protecting you.”

“Keeping me apart.”

“To protect you! That’s what people do with the ones they love Xabi, they protect them.”

Xabi slowly approached Álvaro and sat by his side on his bed before staring at him with a deep sense of sadness. “You protect your pet, you protect your children, your elder but not your best friend. Your best friend is the one you share things with, he’s the one you got to a fucking war just so he doesn’t have to go alone.”

Álvaro drops his head. “I didn’t want you hurt.”

“I didn’t want you hurt either but you didn’t give me a choice, did you? I am not a kid anymore Álvaro, I can make my own choices and yet you took the decision away from me.”

Álvaro chuckled. “Moreover, it was totally useless. Now you’re in danger as is everyone else.”

Xabi nodded. “You fucked up.”

Álvaro nodded. “Probably, but if I had to choose again, I’ll do the same.”

Xabi looks at Álvaro dumbfounded; had the conversation been totally useless? 

“This is who I am. If I can stop someone I love from being in danger, I do it. If to do that, I have to reject the person I am deeply in love with, I do it. You want the truth Xab? This is my truth. If I can keep you out of any battlefield, even if it means me going alone on it, I’ll gladly do it.” 

Xabi looked at Álvaro, tears in his eyes. He would never have thought that the love of his life confessing his feelings would feel so bitter. “Then we may have a problem.”

Álvaro smiled, “Just one? It must be my lucky day then.”

CRISTIANO & FÁBIO

The plan was clear; Neymar and Marcelo would make sure to lure the Logia into attacking Fábio in a more direct way, the others would come to the rescue, discover who is hiding under the masks and stop them. It was simple; nothing they could easily fuck up. Kaká’s plan had been brilliantly exposed; Leo and Fábio had actively backed it up. Everybody wasn’t as happy though; Fábio had just spent the last hour and a half explaining to Gareth and the rest of the gang why he had offered him up. In the end, tired of trying to give rational arguments, he had opted for “Fuck off, it’s my life. Leave me alone, I know what I’m doing.” It wasn’t very convincing but it always sounded definitive enough so the world would stop bothering you. Fábio sighed and sat on his bed; why had he volunteered? It had probably to due with the fact that he needed to clear his mind; take action, go back to living, not allowing himself to transform into a victim. In his world you didn’t really have time to mourn things; shit happened, you cried a little and moved over. You fought back; as simple as that. 

“I know you hate my guts but we need to talk.”

Cristiano stormed into the room totally uninvited and stopped in front of the blonde. The adrenaline washing off, he started to really grasp that this was the first time when they were close enough after Sergio’s show. He couldn’t help the rate of his heart going up. 

Fábio sighed and put his act together as fast as he could. “What do you want? You’re not welcomed here.”

“I know and you can throw me out as many times as you wish but, to do that, you have to be alive. Fábio, Marcelo and Neymar are fucking kids; idiots, yes, but innocent good intentioned kids.”

“Now you defend them?”

“Being kind and innocent, they burnt all of your things without hesitation. Please, just imagine what the others are capable to do. Fábio, you can’t go all kamikaze on me.”

The blonde got up and stood up face to face with Cristiano, ignoring the stupid chills that still went through his body. “My safety is no longer your problem. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.”

Cristiano hold his gaze, anger blazing into his eyes. “Don’t put yourself in danger because I was an asshole; find another way to punish me.”

The blonde started to chuckle loudly. “Oh my god, you are amazing. And here I thought for a moment you were here for some other reason than your ego.” He shook his head before continuing, “you feel guilty. You think this is about you, don’t you?”

“Fábio.”

“I’ve got a new flash for you Cristiano, nothing in my life is about you anymore, got it?”

“Fábio. Please, listen to me.” This wasn’t how Cristiano had envisaged the conversation in his head. He was angering Fábio; angry, he’d never listen. He’d put himself in front of a canon just to piss Cristiano off.   
“No, you listen. Now you’re preoccupied about my safety? Well, don’t you worry Cristiano! There’s not a chance they can hurt me as much as you.”

The words, spitted with venom looking him right into the eyes, stung badly. 

“Now, why don’t you make us both a favor and fucking lose yourself? Don’t you have a daddy to cry to and be manipulated by? Don’t you have someone to fuck? Leo maybe if we listen to Sergio. It looks like most of what he said was pretty accurate after all.” 

The sentence is finished with a smirk Cristiano cannot recognize; his sweet Fábio has been replaced by a cynic and detached boy he cannot reason with so he ends up doing what he does the best, running away. 

LEO & NEYMAR

When the door opened and Neymar appeared, Leo wished he could zap him as he would a bad program on TV. 

“Get lost.”

“I need to talk to you. In case something goes wrong tomorrow.”

Leo snorted. “Do I look like I care?”

Neymar sighed and decided that he would carry the conversation to the end, with or without Leo’s consent. 

“It was stupid, I know.”

Leo got up angrily from the bed. “You know? The fucking Logia tried to destroy me! They’ve been threatening me for months! And you go and join them.”

“We though you and Cristiano were in it. I wanted to impress you, to show you I’m not a kid anymore.”  
Leo would have actually paid for that sentence to be false; nobody could be that stupid, could they? Seeing the sheer honesty on Neymar’s face, he ended up chuckling darkly.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Are you serious right now?”

Neymar nodded, shakily. 

“Oh my god. You’re so fucking stupid it isn’t even funny. You want to prove you’re not a kid? That’s exactly what you are Ney!”

“I wanted to...”

“Well, you failed! If I didn’t care before, now I’d gladly handle you to them on a silver plate. Do I speak Chinese? I.DO.NOT.CARE.ABOUT.YOU.” 

The words stung more than any insult Leo usually directed to him. 

“Now I get it.” The whisper was barely loud enough so Leo could hear it.

“Then fuck off. Oh, and Ney, it’s in your best interest that nothing happens to Blondie. I don’t want to have to console Cris because something happened to his boyfriend.”

Neymar nodded and exited the room as fast as possible, wishing to never had came in the first place. 

SILVA & FÁBIO

“You really don’t have a strong instinct of survival, do you?”

Fábio smirked at Silva’s voice; the voice of conscience. 

“You have enough of it for both of us.”

Silva shook his head and smiled. “You’re crazy. You’ve had a week bad enough, no need to get killed too Fábio.”

The blonde shrugged. “Who knows, maybe I’ll get out of it reborn.” He then ignored the expression of confusion on Silva’s face, not wanting to explain himself. “What’s the matter?”

Silva snorted. “My friend risking his life is not a good enough reason to come and talk to him? It might be the last time mate.” 

Fábio smirked at his friend’s irony. “A good enough reason for most of humankind but not you. You only come to me when you need advice so spill. My time may be running out.”

“You know how we all have surveillance to do tomorrow night for the logia thing?” The blonde nodded; they better do it right or he could end up in a very bad place. “I’m paired up with Villa.”

Fábio chuckled loudly. “Oh man, I’ll make it out alive even if it’s just to hear the summary of that romantic and wonderful surveillance period of yours.”

“It’s not funny.”

“Sure it is.” Fábio stopped whatever he was doing and looked at Silva. “I think it’s time you confront him about the infamous night. Just ask him.”

Silva sighed. “What if he doesn’t answer? Worst, what if he answers something I don’t want to hear?”

Fábio put his hand on Silva’s shoulder, giving him reassurance. “At some point, you need to decide whether you want to know or not. Choose already; if you don’t want to know, let it go for good. If you want to know, find out right now. No more procrastination.”

CRISTIANO & LEO

When Leo entered his room after a nice jog to clear his mind, he found something he didn’t like at all. “Oh god, sulking again? Stop it Cris, I don’t feel sorry for you.”

“Why did you let him?”

Leo sighed and threw his running shoes on his bed. “I am not Blondie’s babysitter Cris. He’s a grown up and he volunteered. Plus, if you want me to be honest, it’s one of the very few I trust not to fuck everything up.”

Cristiano snorted. “Always thinking about success, right? What about him, Leo? What if something happens to him?”

“Give him a bit of credit. He knows how to handle himself.”

“It’s the fucking Logia!”

Cristiano was screaming by then and Leo hated screaming, it gave him headaches. 

“Then give me a bit of credit. I’ll do everything I can to have success but also to keep Blondie intact, okay? I wouldn’t stand you sulking all day long.”

“It’s my fault. If I hadn’t been a stupid coward, he wouldn’t act on suicidal instincts.”

Leo chuckled and shook his head. “I love you Cris but I think you’re giving yourself a bit too much merit here. Blondie came here being a kamikaze, no need for you.”

Cristiano sighed and looked Leo in his eyes. “Promise. Promise you’ll ensure he’s safe.”

Leo held his gaze while answering, “I promise.”

ÁLVARO & GARETH  
“What the hell are you doing here?” At night, in the middle of the football field, could have added Álvaro upon seeing Gareth. 

“Getting better at kicks. I needed a time out.” Álvaro sighed and sat next to Gareth on the grass. 

“What are you sulking about?”

“I’m a shitty friend. I couldn’t stop Fábio from getting his heart broken, now I can’t stop him from stupidly endangering himself. I’m useless.”

Álvaro chuckled. “I guess I know how you feel but you’re not his mother man. Plus, Fábio’s no Ricky.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s going to do exactly what he wants to do. In fact, the more you try to stop him from doing something, the more he’ll want to do it.”

Gareth nodded. Blondie could be pretty infuriating. 

“I wouldn’t worry too much though. He may not have known how to handle Cristiano but I’d bet my money he’ll know how to deal with the Logia.”

Gareth nodded. “What about you? What’s the matter?”

“Love problems.”

“Hum, I dropped those a while ago. Too many headaches.”

They both chuckled and kept laying on the grass, inspiring the fresh air, a bit longer. 

CRISTIANO & HIS FATHER

“Yes, father, I see.”

“You have to take a decision Cristiano. The trial is coming up.”

“I know.”

“I’m counting on you to do the right thing.”

Cristiano sighed, too much weight on his shoulders. “I’m trying.”

“Your mother hasn’t contacted you, has she?”

“No, she hasn’t.”

“I guess there’s nothing else to say.”

“I guess so. I’ll tell you next week father, I promise.”

That night Cristiano has a disturbing dream; pulled between his mother and his father, he feels like breaking. Every time he is on the brink of succumbing though, a beautiful white unicorn appears and defends him. When he wakes up the next day, he can still feel the magically soft hair of the mythic animal and he feels safe, loved and safe. 

 

“THE UNICORN: The saintly hermit, midway through his prayers  
stopped suddenly, and raised his eyes to witness  
the unbelievable: for there before him stood  
the legendary creature, startling white, that  
had approached, soundlessly, pleading with his eyes.

The legs, so delicately shaped, balanced a  
body wrought of finest ivory. And as  
he moved, his coat shone like reflected moonlight.  
High on his forehead rose the magic horn, the sign  
of his uniqueness: a tower held upright   
by his alert, yet gentle, timid gait.

The mouth of softest tints of rose and grey, when  
opened slightly, revealed his gleaming teeth,  
whiter than snow. The nostrils quivered faintly:  
he sought to quench his thirst, to rest and find repose.  
His eyes looked far beyond the saint's enclosure,  
reflecting vistas and events long vanished,  
and closed the circle of this ancient mystic legend.” 

Rainer Maria Rilke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see so many alternative ships in this story lately. Sometimes I'm tempted and a reason within my head says "no, don't go there…" 
> 
> Let's fantasize, what possible ships tempt you in this narrative?


	18. D-day's night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> D-day is here. In a few hours, the boys will be facing up the Logia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've taken more time than I usually do to update but life got in the way and I was having some kind of writer's block 
> 
> (I haven't still got over it wholly but it's a bit better now.)
> 
> The fight against the Logia will take place next chapter then we'll be able to move on. Bear with me :) You're all being wonderful with this story. 
> 
> Ps: I know you all miss Sergio. He'll come back. Once he comes back, flashbacks will enlighten us about his process at the Clinic. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“You learn eventually that, while there are no villains, there are no heroes either. And until you make the final discovery that there are only human beings, who are therefore all the more fascinating, you are liable to miss something.” 

Paul Gallico

 

THE PLAN. FÁBIO & LEO: UNLIKELY ALLIES.

 

After hours of scheming, the plan had been established. Everything had been discussed and carefully calculated; at least, that is what the boys had believed. When looking back now, years later, they could see everything that could have gone incredibly wrong. They had only been a group of teenage boys playing spies, a dangerous game. Luck, whether it was good or bad, had definitely been a big factor that night. However, they very well knew that without their youth, they would have never been able to achieve what they did back then. The equal percentages of stupidity and courage needed could only come from stupid teenagers. Any older person, with more common sense, wouldn’t have allowed it. That is why they chose to leave Raúl out of it, as well as any other adult susceptible of helping. 

Leo kept staring to the wall in front of him, reviewing every single detail. He wished there was some other way. He had spent the last hours trying to figure an out but, as much as he hated to admit it, Blondie was right. It was their best shot. Neymar and Marcelo would convince the Logia that Leo and the gang were ready to join them if they proved they were serious about cleaning the school of poor boys. Then they would suggest to seriously messing with Fábio in order to make their point. It made sense, thought Leo, since the blonde had been a bit of a hurricane since September. It made sense they’d want to get rid of him. This, however, wasn’t enough. In order to catch the Logia, they needed something big. He had thought about it but hadn’t dared to come out with it; at the end of the day, it wasn’t him who was directly on the line. When Fábio had come looking for him though, he could hardly use that as an excuse anymore. 

 

“Do I disturb you?”

Leo looked at the blonde as if he was a mad person. What the hell did he want? Happily, no one else was in the room to contemplate the conversation. 

“What do you want?”

Fábio sighed and held himself up against the wall. “Always down to business. I want to talk about the plan.”

“Look, if you’re scared...”

Leo never got to finish that sentence. A furious stare was thrown at him and, for a moment, he felt slightly scared. 

“Cut the bullshit. I want you to give them time to beat me.”

He was sure his eyes has widened ten times right then. “Pardon me?”

The blonde sighed and looked at Leo as if he was a small child in need of a slow and detailed explanation. “If it’s their word against mine, I’ll lose. That’s how things work in here. We need something more.”

Leo nodded for the blonde to continue. He was right; Leo ignored the identity of the Logia’s boys but they had to be important people, probably older than them. If they caught them and it came down to testimony, Fábio would not stand a chance. 

“Marcelo and Neymar will lure them into my room. We put a camera there to record and let them beat me for a while. Then you all intervene, pull their masks off and their faces are on the tape. It’s our best shot at this.”

“You do not understand that those guys are dangerous, right? They could kill you Blondie. They could actually kill you if we let them.”

“They’ll want to have a bit of fun before. They enjoy beating us. They want to humiliate us since they feel so superior. They wouldn’t kill me before having a good laugh at my expanses.” 

Leo plopped down his bed and started to chuckle. What did it have to happen to him? Why had he met the craziest bait ever? Why had Cris so weird taste when it came to guys? Oh my, why? 

“Look, I like to praise myself for my ability to read into the psychology of people but I’m not sure it’s the moment to take such a shot.”

Fábio sighed and approached Leo looking him directly into the eyes. “If I needed people that care, I would have gone to them. I came to you because you’re the cold guy remember? You don’t give a fuck about me; you just want the plan to be successful. Think it through then you’ll agree with me.”

Leo sighed. The kid was right. It was their best shot but it was also incredibly risky and as much as he didn’t specially care, he wasn’t incline to murder either. Plus, what the hell would he tell Cris if something went wrong? “Hey, your boyfriend there got totally suicidal and I helped him through it?” Yeah, not even their friendship would resist that. 

“What if we’re wrong? What if they do come to kill you?”

“They won’t, at least not until a while. You’ll all be in kicking their ass by then.”

“They could kill you accidentally.”

Fábio sighed exasperated. “Look, shit happens, okay? Shit can happen tonight and if I’m risking my ass, I’m going to do it for something. If we don’t get evidence, it’ll all be useless.”

He had a point, didn’t he? Leo shook his head; as much as the blonde was right from a cold and logical point of view, it still felt wrong. Moreover, no one would let this happen. 

“They wouldn’t let you do it anyway. You think you can break this idea to your friends and wait for them to stand back and watch you get beaten? And what about Cris?”

“What about him?”

Leo snorted. “I know he’s not your favorite person right now but hell will freeze before he lets you do something like this. He’ll cuffed you down to the bed to keep you safe if necessary and it’s not like I can physically stop him.”  
“I know. That’s why we’re not going to tell anybody about this, not my friends and certainly not Cris.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re the one organizing shit. You’ll put the surveillance turns in such a way you’ll be the one there with me when it happens. You’ll wait. We’ll tell the rest the door was stuck and you couldn’t enter. Marcelo and Neymar couldn’t blow their cover so soon. The boys will be distributed all around the place and it’s huge. Before they hear what’s going on, we’ll have out tape.”

Leo watched the boy in front of him with a stupid expression of the face. Who the hell was the blonde kid sitting in front of him? It was a big responsibility. If something happened, he’d be the one to blame. 

“It’s the only way. We can’t keep on going like this. It’s either us or them.”

He closed his eyes and quickly extended his hand before regretting it. This would come back to bite him in the ass, he could tell.

 

So there he was, staring at the wall. Everybody knew the plan was risky but he knew better, the plan was suicidal. A strong kick in the wrong place, a mistake in their reading of the Logia, a guy gone crazy... Fábio’s life was on the fast line tonight and he was partly responsible for it so he’d be personally in charge to make sure everything works according to their own little plan. It was the least he could do. 

 

THE WAITING. KAKÁ & CRISTIANO

 

Although you approach him silently, you know he still senses you coming and he’s not happy about it. There are a lot of unhappy people because of you lately. 

“Hey, can we talk?”

“Is it really necessary? It’s not like we talk on a daily basis.”

You take a deep breath and remind yourself that this is more important than your pride. 

“Please. It’s not about me.”

“I already know about that but he’s not talking to me so don’t waste your breath.”

You frown and wonder how Kaká seems to be always able to do that, to know what people think without them speaking. You remember him explaining once to you that it was because he listened and watched more than people seemed to. You’ve always been so self-centered; it’s starting to hurt even yourself. 

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugs and answers in the calmest of voices, you know very well that a lot is needed to shake him up. 

“That part is not your fault but mine. I should have told him what kind of guy you were.”

You know you deserve it but it hurts nonetheless. “And what kind of guy I am exactly?”

“I don’t know Cris, you tell me. I defended you, you know? After what you did to me, I still believed in you so I decided to shut the hell up and not warn Fábio.”

“Why?” You ask in a small voice because, honestly, at the moment it is hard to imagine anyone believing in you. 

“Because I thought it was real. I watched you looking at him, talking to him, kissing him and I was convinced it was real.”

“It was. It still is.” Your whisper is so low; you’re surprised when you realized he has heard it. 

“Then why the fuck did you bet on it?”

You sigh and sit next to him to verbalize something you haven’t yet. “I felt for him, a lot. I felt more than I have ever felt but I wasn’t courageous enough. I was afraid everybody would judge me so I made up a bet to approach him.”

He laughs bitterly and you want the earth to swallow you but lately the earth doesn’t go your way at all. 

“I get it. You wanted it easy, as always.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh fuck off Cris! It’s always the same with you. You don’t want to listen to your father but you don’t accept to loose his money, you want Fábio but you don’t want to jeopardize your social status, you want to be yourself but you don’t want to give up your image. Well, new flash, it doesn’t work that way. You want something? You got to give something back.”

You bow down your head and take it because this is Ricky and he never swears, nor does he yell so this must be serious. 

“Look, talk to him. He’s going to do something dangerous because I’m an idiot. It’s not fair Ricky.”

He shakes his head and his eyes bore into yours. “No, it’s not. I already told you, he doesn’t talk to me. He won’t listen to anyone, he’s a rather stubborn guy.”

You’re starting to realize there is no way to stop all of this from happening and you feel like punching yourself over and over again. 

“You know what? Maybe this is what you need Cris. You truly care about him? Then it’s great that you lost him because maybe now you’ll start realizing that not everything is a game and that things are getting serious. Life is getting serious, man. We’re not kids anymore.”

No, we’re not, but we are not adults yet either. You never pronounce that sentence though; you don’t feel like defending yourself from attacks you know you well deserved. 

“What if something bad happens?”

“It won’t. Everybody has teamed up for this. It’ll work.”

As your heart starts beating faster, you truly want to believe Ricky’s words. 

 

GARETH & FÁBIO: ONE MORE CHANCE.

 

Gareth hasn’t talk to you for the last few hours and it’s starting to get annoying. You know he’s angry and that’s just proof of how much he cares but soon enough you’ll be in a very ugly situation. As much as you don’t want to voice it, you’d like to go into it being on speaking terms with your best mate just in case. You have seen enough unexpected last times to know that you never knew so you try one more time and, miraculously, it works. 

“Please Gareth, talk to me man.”

“Okay. Do you want the truth?”

You nod eagerly; ready to take anything he’ll send your way. 

“Last year was a shitty one for me. I kind of lost my best friend.”

Fábio knew he was referring to Kaká and he wished that those two would get their heads out of the gutter and make real amends. 

“I was not scared like Mesut or Silva but I was resigned. When I came here they told me to learn my place, and I did. Then you came and you made something shift inside of me.”

You sigh and sit on your bed feeling terribly guilty about your existence. 

“At first I though you were just crazy but, without even noticing it, I started to believe in your vision. Maybe I didn’t have to resign myself so much. Maybe I could choose another place to be mine. It’s funnier with you around; we can play football together, joke and be stupid teenage boys without a shared past or any stupid drama and I don’t want you to go through unnecessary shit.”

“But it is necessary, Gareth.”

He chuckles and the feeling of guilt just intensifies in your stomach.

“No it’s not, we could work a way around it but you don’t want to. You’re mad and heart broken so you take it out on yourself like this. You’re hurt so you just go on full suicidal mode and don’t give a shit about me or anybody else. Your pain is the only thing that matters.”

You try to interrupt me because what he’s saying is hitting close home and you really don’t need that conversation right now but he’s rambling by now and you’ll have to listen. 

“I get it, okay? The way you feel sucks Fáb but it’s not fair. He screwed up but I didn’t, neither did the boys. We care and we have showed it to you so I believe we deserve a little bit of consideration before you immolate yourself because of that stupid brat.”

He’s pointing his finger at you and you want the earth to swallow you but that’s not happening, at least not so soon tonight. 

“And yes, the Fábio I know is reckless, impulsive and has definitely got some suicidal kick but he is not an egoist; no, he’s a generous guy who cares about anyone around him but, apparently, that Fábio has gone on vacation.”

You really want to talk by now but nobody cares what you want lately. 

“So if you’re asking me to watch you put yourself out there and applause, you’re fucking wrong. I won’t do such a thing because it sucks you’re doing something so stupid because of a fucking broken heart. You want to deal with it? You do as we all do, go kick a ball, eat chocolate, pick up a fight or watch sad movies and move the fuck on.”

Gareth is panting, totally out of breath, and you take it as your cue to finally respond. 

“Are you finished? It doesn’t matter; I’ll take it from here. I’m not asking you to applause. What I am asking for is you being there for me even though you think this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done and it’s for all the wrong reasons because that’s what best mates do. That’s what I’d do for you. Can you do that Gareth? Because I’m not going to change my mind now so you either stand by me or you don’t. And for the record, I’m not into this just because of a broken heart. I believe in what I’m doing. I never do anything I don’t believe in.”

“That’s unfair.” He mumbles. 

“I know.”

A tight hug certifies that friendship is one of the greatest and most stupid things to ever exist. 

 

LEO & CRISTIANO: I PROMISE. 

 

You’re watching your best friend walking the bedroom from side to side and you’re beginning to think that if Cristiano keeps it up, he’s going to end up making holes in the floor. It would be a shame because you really like that floor. 

“Could you stop?”

“Why didn’t you talk him out of it?!” 

He’s yelling at you and you try to restrain yourself from yelling back because, honestly, he’s being a bit of a pain in the ass lately. They've been having the exact same conversation since yesterday and it's getting overwhelming. Leo had many virtues but patience was definitely not one of them. 

“I did try but he wouldn’t. Let it be.”

“Let it be? Let it be? I want to kill Neymar and Marcelo!”

You snort because the prospect doesn’t look that bad to you. 

“Please, go ahead and I’ll help you bury the bodies but do wait until they have achieved their part in the plan.”

“Is the plan any good?”

You definitely preferred Cristiano not in love. You missed the pretty boys and girls who did not mean a thing and, therefore, were no problem in your lives. That Cristiano, however, is gone so you get up and try to comfort this one. You lie and you resent yourself for it. You feel to be the most awful friend on the planet but you don’t really have a choice anymore. 

“I’ve made this plan personally, okay? It doesn’t get any better than this.”

Of course, any plan has its risks; doesn’t matter how great it is but that’s not what Cristiano needs to hear right now. He doesn’t need to hear that the plan consists in Blondie getting beaten by a group of boys or maybe you’re the one who needs him to not hear that part. You don’t really know much anymore at that point.

“He’s safe?”

You can’t be safe when you offer yourself as jailbait, you think. You sigh and kick yourself mentally forever accepting the stupid bet that led to all of this in the first place. You’re also starting to think that Fábio’s idea is completely stupid and you wonder where has your brain go on vacation. 

“As safe as he can be. Everybody is on this. Trust me Cris. Blondie will be fine, you have my word.”

Contrary to general belief, you’ve still got some humanity in you and every lie you say is a knife you’re twisting into your stomach. You know that if something goes wrong, he won’t forgive you. First loves are special; you did have one once and some ashes remain. 

 

FÁBIO & LEO: SILENT UNDERSTANDING

 

You’ve been sitting together for the last ten minutes, going through every detail of the plan but there are no more details to go through by then. For unknown reasons, he is still sitting besides you and a strange sense of comfort installs itself between you two. 

“Everybody thinks I’m an ass and they’re right.”

You nod without thinking because, as Leo, you don’t have a filter to your thoughts. Although you two are extremely different, bluntness is the trait you share. He laughs at your nod and shakes his head, still finding it hard to believe how little you’re scared of him. 

“But I tell the truth so let me tell you what none of them is going to. This could go wrong. Sure, our plan is perfect. Sure, we’ve been through every little detail but let’s not kid ourselves. We’re dealing with dangerous people here. It could go wrong and if it does, you’re right in the front.”

You look at him intensely and nod because you already know that. You’ve been thinking about it all day long even though you’ll never tell Gareth, Mesut or Silva because you don’t want to scare them more than they already are. 

“I know what I’m doing.”

“My ass; none of us know exactly what he’s doing. Especially you and I.”

You laugh and think that Leo must probably be the worst person to be with in this kind of situation. 

“For the record, although I don’t care at all what happens to you, I still find it very silly to risk your ass just because your heart got a little twisted. You’re a bit of a drama queen about it, don’t you think?”

He looks at you and you smile back at him because, even though most people would be mad at him right now, you feel grateful for the utter lack of pity in his words. 

“For the record, I really don’t give a shit about your opinion.”

He laughs at you and sighs. “I already knew that. So you know your ass is on the line? You’re sure you’re not going to bail out in the last moment, having recovered your senses?”

He looks expectantly at you and you get what he’s trying to do. He’s giving you an out; he’s giving you a last chance to drop out and forget everything about it. 

“We can always find something else to do. You could come up with a detail not so great in our plan, tell the boys and I’d back you up.”

The unspoken is stronger than the spoken between you two; “You can run now, I won’t tell,” “I won’t judge,” “One more chance and we never talk about it again.” You feel surprised and a bit grateful even though there is not a chance in hell you’ll back off now and both of you know it. 

“I’m going to wisely ignore the last part of this conversation, as will you.”

He smiles before snorting and you can’t help but think how this weird it is for you two to understand each other so well. 

He nods at you before adding: “Then let’s go through the plan one last time and then we will send your sorry ass into hell.”

 

“The noir hero is a knight in blood caked armor. He's dirty and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time.” 

Frank Miller


	19. No way back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment for the plan to play out has come but… will it play out as expected?

“I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't.” 

Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

 

Leo & Cris, fighting

“Cris! Come on, don’t be so childish!” 

Leo sighed hopelessly from the corner of the room. He was under the impression to be talking to a two year old, or a different language than the other man. 

“Childish, you think I’m being childish? You lied to my face! You looked mi in the eyes and you lied.”

The words came out as a growl and shook Leo to the core. He had never seen Cristiano like this, because he had never lied to him about something important before. He tried to shrug it off as something that would go away in a few days but a little voice kept repeating inside his head: “what if it’s not the case?” “What if this time it’s different” “You did play with something very important for him.”

“So what, you’re going to ignore me forever?”

Cristiano let the shirt he was folding neatly fall on his bed and turned to look at his friend, pointing his finger at his chest. 

“You are a little fucker, everybody knows that but I never listen because I know you. At least, I believed I did. You go around saying all that bullshit about how you always say the truth, as if it was an excuse for being a dick half of the time. And the only moment it really matters, you fucking lie to my face. Best friends don’t lie to each other.”

“Neither does people who date each other and look at you!”

Leo was a cold guy; he was usually very good at keeping his tongue in but the fear that was pulsing through his veins about the possibility of losing Cris made him do very stupid things. Cristiano’s whole body tenses but he finally exhales, trying to not run into Leo and tackle him to the ground. 

“Cris, it was his choice.”

“How are you all so fucking egoist? You think your life is only yours, well fuck you both! Your life also belongs to everyone that’s around!”

Leo sighed and rubbed his hands against his face. What was he supposed to say?

“What should I have done? Tie him to a chair? He’s not a kid anymore”

“You could have told me. If I can’t trust you, who I’ve got left?”

Leo is pretty sure his heart would break at the sadness on Cristiano’s face if it weren’t a bit to hard by now. 

“I had everything planned because of you, Cris. I made sure nothing too bad would happen to him because you cared.”

“I’m not asking you to do things for me, I’m just asking you to be my best friend! The fucking plan mattered more to you than I do.”  
Leo snorted angrily, tired of controlling himself. Yes, maybe he hadn’t made all the right choices but, hell, Cristiano had been a child all day. 

“Excuse me for wanting the plan to work! Excuse me for thinking: “Hey, since Blondie is risking his ass, let’s make it worth it!” But, of course, you had to jeopardize everything because of your stupid feelings! How egoist is that Cris?”

“I jeopardized everything? By protecting someone that matters to me?”

“Yes, you did! Because of your feelings, you fucked up the work of everyone. If you had did what I asked you to do, we’ll have the Logy by now and Blondie would be just fine!”

And we wouldn’t even be fighting, wanted to add Leo, but he kept it to himself, his mind wandering back to the awful night that had just took place. 

 

That night... 

 

The whole group of boys was reunited in the common room. Everybody had their schedules and was aware of the mission they had to carry on. Marcelo and Neymar would bring the Logia to Fábio’s room were the blond would be alone, in the dark. Leo had been very careful to be the only one near enough to hear the noises right away, so he could stop any intervention from happening. He would be next room to Fábio’s, waiting a few minutes, ensuring the cameras he had installed in the blonde’s room would record proof enough to hurt the Logy. Silva and Villa would be at the end of the corridor, far enough to not intervene right away but near enough to do it fast enough. He had been careful to put Cristiano with Gareth on a shift, on the other side of the whole building. Of course he had had to feed some lies to the guys in order for that to happen; he had convinced them that Fábio would be in that corner of the huge castle they lived in, making them happy about their schedule. 

The moment was approaching and Fábio made a sign with his head towards Leo, meaning that he would retire to his room and wait. It struck the older boy how calm about this the blonde was, not a doubt etched on his face. Leo could feel the nervousness pumping through his veins, his mind took him to an unexpected place: a conversation with his father. It was before the first big game of football Leo had ever played, he guessed he was so nervous that even his father, a man he barely saw and who didn’t take a particular interest in him, took a bit of his precious time to talk to him. He had looked at him in the eyes and said: “Whenever you’re about to do something important, close your eyes, take a deep breath in and let it out. Then start as soon as you can.” Still a child, Leo had looked up to his father, head cocked up to a side, and had whispered: “As simple as that?” His father had answered: “Yes, as simple as that. Whatever you had to work on, you already have. Now, you just have to carry through. Do it.” He closed his eyes, breathed in, breathed out and clapped his hands before yelling with a strong voice for everybody to occupy their places. The play was beginning, the theater full, and the public, thought Leo, would end up cheering satisfied.

It would probably have gone that way if Leo had been a bit more attentive to his surroundings. While he was engrossed in his thoughts, a certain best friend had carefully left the room excusing himself to go to the bathroom. What he did, however, was to follow a certain blond. Cristiano had no idea he was being lied to, he just wanted to try one more time to change Fábio’s mind. When he saw the blond entered his bedroom, he frowned. What was he doing? He should be on the other side of the castle, next to him and Gareth who would efficiently protect him. Maybe he had gone to take something with him... but he didn’t come out. That’s when it hit Cristiano; he had been the victim of a typical Leo Messi’s move. He cursed, muttering under his breath how stupid he had been. Of course Leo would be worried his feelings would jeopardize the mission, so he had sent him opposite from where Fábio was actually going to be. He’d have some words with Leo later, for now Fábio’s security was the priority. The door in front of him started to crack and he hid in the corridor as fast as he could. Fábio was out, carrying a bottle of water and going to the bathroom in order to replenish it, guessed Cristiano. So the blonde was going to stay in his room... Fine, he wouldn’t be alone then. Cristiano ran towards the room, still opened, and eased himself in without touching the door at any point. Without thinking, he lied on the ground and position himself under Fábio’s bed. He would protect him, and no one else had a say in the matter. 

 

In a nearby corridor... Villa & Silva playing cat and mouse

 

“Oh, god.” 

Mumbled a tired Villa. 

“Could you stay still for a while?”

Silva, who had been wandering up and down the corridor for the last hour, glared at the older boy. 

“If I could, I would.” 

Villa sighed.

“You need to learn how to control yourself kitty. You’re not a kid anymore. Save us the shame and just don’t piss in your pants.” 

Villa smiled, that mental image actually kind of aroused him to no end.

“Aren’t you afraid?”

“Yes, I’m scared shitless. Doesn’t it show?” 

The Cheshire smile that accompanied the sentence was ironic enough to not need any words. 

“Of course, you’re never afraid.”

Villa shrugged. The kid was very talkative tonight.

“Very rarely.”

Silva, much to Villa’s dismay, had resumed up his walking, with no intention of shutting up either. Villa resumed to take out the big guns. 

“Would you leave?”

“What?”

“You’re scared. Go away if you want. I can handle this on my own; you know, like a man.” 

Silva looked at him, outraged. How dared he to even suggest something like this? What kind of person did he believe he was?

“I would never leave! It’s my friend who’s trapping them, remember?”

Villa smirked. Good persons were so predictable; he guessed that’s why the bad ones win all the time.

“That’s what I thought, you and your stupid morality. If you aren’t going to leave, there’s no sense in being afraid so piss the fuck off and stay still.”

Silva was always surprised at how much authority Villa’s voice held without even being raised.

“I can’t stop it.”

Villa rolled his eyes. Those new generations... They always need to be pushed. 

“I can’t do this, I can’t do that, blablabla... Do you hear yourself? Stop being so weak!”

Silva couldn’t hold in the tension anymore, the whole night was way too much for him and it came out. It came out at the more inappropriate moment ever and Silva cursed himself to be thinking about his sexual life instead of the plan. 

“If I’m so weak it’s your fault too, you know!”

Villa looked at Silva surprised and chuckled. He was used to be responsible of a lot of things but this one startled him. 

“How is it my fault?” 

“You’ve been playing with my head since I came here!”

“Oh Bambi, when will you realize? You can’t be played if you’re not playing yourself.”

“You’ve been torturing me because of a fucking stupid night! I was drunk out of my ass and you took advantage of me! You abused me!”

Villa couldn’t stop laughing; the kid was so stupidly cute. Puke rainbows, sun shines and lollipops. Silva didn’t know how to respond anymore. 

“It’s not funny! Me being ruined is not funny!”

“Nothing happened that night.”

Maybe it was time for the truth to come out. He was getting softer, he thought. This wasn’t any good. 

Silva could feel the world stopping. 

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing happened. You attacked me, we kissed, touched and I took you to bed.”

The poor boy could feel his face reddening. 

“Yeah, to your bed.”

“I’m not your babysitter. I wasn’t going to take you to yours, tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.” 

“I was naked.”

Villa smirked. Oh, the memories... 

“I thought it would be funnier to see your reaction waking up but you left beforehand. Not a nice thing to do Bambi. You ruined my fun.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Villa snorted, stood up from the chair he had taken with him to endure the long hours of vigilance, and approached Silva. 

“Bambi, if I had fucked you that night, you would have remembered it. Believe me.”

“So full of yourself.”

He chuckled darkly. 

“Just realistic; a virgin ass feels very different when fucked for the first time. You would be hurt when walking and you weren’t, were you? Plus, I don’t need to drug someone to get him in my bed; that would be pretty insulting to my attractiveness.”

Silva shook vehemently his head; he couldn’t believe it.   
“You’ve played me all this time? You’ve made me believe something happened knowing it hurt me? Why?”

Villa sighed. Why were people so complicated?

“It was fun Bambi. Plus, I deserved a bit of revenge, don’t you think?”

“Revenge? You’re the one to make me miserable since the first day!”

“And you complain about it every single day but yet, when you’re drunk and has lost all inhibition, you attack me like an octopus.” 

Silva looked down, ashamed. 

“You’re worst than a girl Bambi. “You’re an asshole, I want you, I hate you, I tolerate you.” You drive me crazy with all your contradictions.”

Villa was now close enough for Silva’s heart to almost jump off his chest. 

“You don’t know what you want Bambi. Well, at least you won’t accept it. Whenever you’re ready, just ask for it.”

A loud sound stopped the conversation from going any further. A big fight had erupted. Silva sprinted to Fábio’s room without waiting for Silva, who quickly caught on. 

 

In Fábio’s room... A bit before that

 

Cristiano’s POV

Sometimes he wishes he could go back. He lets himself drift away towards those days of insouciance where his world was much smaller. A thing learnt in school seemed to lighten it up, the discussion with a friend because of the last can of coke was a real drama and everything was forgotten the day afterwards in the playroom. It was a miniature world, especially built for his height. The world he’s in right now seems too gigantic to imagine he ever being able to handle it. 

He wants to take a football ball and go play for the sake of it but it doesn’t work like that anymore; there are games to win, relationships to balance, hard decisions to make and a secret Mafia to destroy. How did everything change? How does he get back to how things were? He mumbles the last words but he already knows the answer; there is no way back. 

He keeps screwing everything up and he thinks he now knows why, it’s because this world is just too big for him. Love, of course he fucked love up because that emotion is much bigger than anything he’s ever had to deal with. He wishes he was better at this teenage thing but he knows he sucks and he’s learning to accept it. Maybe he’ll get better in time; maybe, if he were lucky enough, it would happen before everything he cares about ends up in hell. 

In the meanwhile, he just hides under the bed. For a little while, he lets himself believe he’s five again, playing hide and seek or protecting him from the monster you imagine being in your closet. What the hell is he doing under a bed at sixteen years old without a lover to hide away from adults? 

Then he remembers he has to protect him even if he doesn’t want to be protected, especially by you. The truth is, he doesn’t like the blonde very much right now, he finds him pretty stubborn and unforgiving but there is no chance in hell he’s letting something happen to him. So he does the same as he did back then when someone he cared about needed him, he backs him up. 

Some other place in the castle...

Xabi smiled as he approached Álvaro who looked up, surprised. 

“You alone?”

“Iker has gone looking for Leo to ask him I don’t know what about the plan. You know how he is, stressing himself over everything until the last moment.”

Xabi smiled at Álvaro’s words because, even though he doubted him and Iker would ever be back to being the good friends they once were, he was glad to hear again some of fondness in Álvaro’s voice when talking about him. 

“Don’t you have any vigilance to do?”

Xabi shrugged.   
“Leo told me to stay alert, not too far from Fábio’s room.”

“I’m afraid you are a bit far away right now, aren’t you?”

Xabi smiled at the boy in front of him and took the chair next to him. 

“I’ve been thinking. This whole thing has made me think. Something could go wrong tonight.”

“It won’t.”

“Something could happen to Fábio...”

“Don’t say that!”

Xabi looked up, surprised at the harsh tone in Álvaro’s voice, a tone he very rarely used with him. 

“Sorry, it’s just that I’ve become friends with the guy. He let me in when nobody would. I don’t want to think about something happening to him.”

Xabi smirked at the metamorphose Álvaro had gone through; he was a great boy before but he was wonderful now.

“You’re right, nothing will happen to him but I’ve been thinking... What if it was you in that room? What would I feel?”

Álvaro mumbled a question, almost afraid to hear the answer. 

“How would you feel?”

“Well, I know you’d do anything to keep me away but I would definitely want to be under your bed to make sure nothing happens to you or, at least, that it happens to both of us.”  
The two boys laughed at the mental image of Xabi under the bed, waiting. 

“I would be very pissed at you. Why are you telling me that, Xabi?”

“Because life is short and dangerous so we have to make it worth it and I can’t imagine anything worthier than having you in my life. We have some distances to overcome and a lot of issues to work through but, hey, we made it as best friends, why wouldn’t we as something more?”

Álvaro looked up, almost convinced he would find Xabi laughing in his face. It was too good to be true. The only thing he saw, however, were Xabi’s eyes full of hope. 

“So, what do you say? Am I worthy enough to figure this out?”

Álvaro snorted and shook his head before taking Xabi’s into his two hands and knock the air out of him with the strongest kiss he’d ever given. 

In Fábio’s room...

Fábio’s POV

He’s sitting on his bed, wondering what on earth he is exactly doing. He came to this school because it was a better place to be; he still remembers the pride and relief etched in his mother’s features when he had stopped by to tell her the news. She was convinced he would be safe from now on, so was everybody else but him. He’s always been a bit of a dreamer but he’s not totally unrealistic; life has taught him to handle everything good with skepticism, easy was for other people. 

For him it was hard, difficulties and bad luck. He had let his guard down with Cris and look how that had ended; blissful oblivion is not for him and he’s well aware of it. Of course he’d find his way to problems, even in a place like this. He thinks back to what Gareth and Cris said and recognizes mentally that, maybe, they had been a bit right. Him sitting there had probably something to do with his broken heart. 

He has always had some kind of kamikaze instinct; he’s starting to think it would be better to accept it already instead of fighting it because there really was no use. Putting himself in danger is certainly not the best way to deal with a broken heart but he’s like anybody else in this place: lost, hurt, doing whatever the hell he can, even if it is as bad as it actually is. 

Plus, someone had to be at risk and he’s still the better option. The rich kids have everything to loose, the poor ones have still people who loved them deeply to loose; what has he? Not much. He’s known for some time now that his disappearance of the surface of the earth would go unnoticed by most of the universe. That’s what happens in the streets; even though you’re there, visible to everybody on a daily basis, you seem to become totally invisible. Nobody seems to notice. So if someone has to be in danger, it may as well be him. 

It’s at that exact moment that the thought occurs to him and he finally grasps an unforgettable truth: no matter what he does, this will always be him. He’ll always be the lost boy who doesn’t have much to loose because nobody would really care loosing him. As the realization hits, the despair falls upon him. For the first time in many years, he starts believing in destiny and acknowledging that his was a pretty fatal one. 

Of course, at the moment those thoughts run into his brain, he’s totally oblivious of the person under his bed, a person who would care much if something happened to him. 

Down a corridor, somewhere... 

Fernando watched as Mesut fumbled with his phone. He was bored beyond measure. Was nothing happening or were they just in the wrong place? 

“Aren’t you going to take it?”

“We have better things to do.”

Like what? Thought Fernando, watching the different shades of green on the walls?

“Look man, just take it, okay? It won’t stop ringing and it’s driving me mad. Plus, nothing is happening. You can hang out if it does. I promise.”

Mesut sighed but decided against contradicting the boy. For someone with such a young and innocent face, he could get very bossy. 

“Mesut talking, who are you?”

The voice he heard on the other side of the phone froze his veins. 

“Hi Mesut, It’s Sergio.”

Leo’s POV

When he finally heard the Logy approaching, he thanked God for it. They had been so long... Marcelo and Neymar couldn’t even do that right. He sighed, what a pair. He stretched on the floor, now he only had to wait a few more minutes. 

For the first few seconds, everything seems to go right. He can hear the boys teasing Blondie and threatening him. 

“Look what we’ve got here! Our little new toy!”

“Oh man, we’re going to have so much fun with you.”

“Hmmm. The little fucker is kind of cute, maybe we should actually have some fun with him before destroying his pretty face.”

Leo frowned because, honestly, he wasn’t expecting that but it was all right. Attempted rape on a tape would be as good as a beating up, he would intervene before anything actually happened anyway. At least that’s what he thought until someone decided to intervene earlier.

“Don’t you dare to touch him!”  
Cristiano? Leo could have recognized that voice anywhere, between millions of voices. His best friend was yelling madly and the sounds of hits and punching could be heard. What the heck had happened? As Leo opened his door to dart towards Fábio’s room, he couldn’t keep himself from thinking he had made sure this wouldn’t happen. 

When he finally entered the room, the picture he had found wasn’t what was planned. Half of the guys had left while Cristiano, Marcelo and Neymar were battling the ones that had stayed. Blondie was hopelessly trying to reach one of the guys and lift his stupid mask but Cristiano wouldn’t let him come anywhere near enough. He grasped the idea and sprang himself on the back of one of the remaining boys trashing and kicking him. The guy was able to walk through the door while Cristiano and the others scared the last ones off. He finally was able to put off the mask and gasped. 

“Andrés?”

Andrés looked at him like a deer caught in lights and darted away. When Silva and Villa arrived, they found a paralyzed Leo, staring in front of him, mouth gaping and brows furrowed. 

Inside the room, Marcelo and Neymar congratulated each other while Cristiano ran to Fábio and touched him everywhere, making sure he was fine. 

“You were under my bed?”

Cristiano shrugged and sighed. 

“I wanted to make sure you were fine. They would have raped you.”

Fábio doesn’t say a word before walking away, followed by a confused Silva, leaving a very disturbed Cristiano behind. 

Back at the beginning... 

And that’s how he had found himself arguing with his best friend, at five a.m. Once back at their room, he had had to explain the real plan to Cristiano. He had never seen the other boy so pissed before.

“My father was right.”

Leo’s head shot up to that sentence; very common a few weeks ago, it had became a rarity deeply worrying when expressed. 

“What the hell are you saying?”

“People are just not worthy, are they? I save his ass and he doesn’t even thank me. You lie to my face. I am tired, Leo. Fuck you, fuck him, and fuck everything!”

Cristiano took his bag and left towards the door. 

“Where the hell are you going?”

“To Iker’s, he has a free bed and anything is better than sharing with you at the moment.”

Cristiano left the room as Leo let himself fall on his bed, holding his own head between his hands. He sighed and looked up; a few weeks ago, he had had two roommates and now he stood alone, in the silence of the room. 

Fábio and Silva

“What’s going on?”

“He was under my bed.”

“What?”

Silva looked at the blonde confused, this night was way more than he was able to handle. 

“Cristiano was under my bed. To protect me.”

Silva sighed then smiled.

“See? I told you he cared. He was just a stupid brat but he cares. You have proof now.”

His smile, however, soon turned into an expression of confusion upon the realization that Fábio seemed on the verge of tears. 

“What’s wrong? Go, run into his arms, kiss him and be happy ever after.”

The blonde shook his head, a silent tear rolling down his cheekbone. 

“Why not? Fáb, don’t you like him anymore?”

“I love him.”

It’s mumbled so low, Silva could have miss it but he did not. 

“So does he. What’s the problem then?”

“I can’t.”

“But why?”

“Every time I trust people, they end up screwing me. I can’t. Not again.”

The blonde, so strong all night, was crying and Silva was fast to hold him between his arms. He could see now, the unbearable tension between the intense desire to go back to Cristiano and the psychical inability to do so. Fábio was screwed up. He sighed, realizing they all were pretty screwed up. 

 

“It was one thing to make a mistake; it was another thing to keep making it. I knew what happened when you let yourself get close to someone, when you started to believe they loved you: you'd be disappointed. Depend on someone, and you might as well admit you're going to be crushed, because when you really needed them, they wouldn't be there. Either that, or you'd confide in them and you added to their problems. All you ever really had was yourself, and that sort of sucked if you were less than reliable.” 

Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care


	20. Best Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Cristiano's friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the insight into the story of those two. I certainly did.

“And then there's that person that no matter what, they'll answer your call at 4 am. Your 4am-er. They'll say exactly what you need to hear to bring you back to earth. Your comfort, your voice of reason, your hit upside the head. And he'll always be my   
4 am er.” 

Hope Alcocer, That's Where Hope Lies

 

TWO WEEKS LATER

When Leo entered his room, he sighed. He was under the impression to have become the protagonist of a bad sitcom, the kind of sitcom where the same situation is played over and over again. The disheveled guy leaving the bedroom in the morning, the one that was your best friend still lying under the sheets being late for class, the odor of meaningless sex floating through the room and the clothes scattered all over the floor. For a moment, he wishes Iker would have taken Cristiano as his roommate instead of throwing him back to you saying he didn’t want anything to do with any of you anymore. 

As he knows it’s useless, Leo doesn’t even bother to make Cristiano leave the bed. He’d be late, he’d be punished, he’d call his daddy, he’d solve it and the endless cycle would begin the next day all over again. He sighed and gathered his things in order to get to class. On the doorstep, he couldn’t avoid to look back and take one last pick at the human form lying under the white satin sheets. He looked so innocent, peaceful even and yet he was so lost. Leo couldn’t stop his mind from wandering back to the first memory he had of Cristiano. 

 

 

A FIRST MEMORY

They were six years old, barely kids, and they were being left in a strange and gigantic place far away from home and their families. Even at such a young age, Leo was used to not have his parents with him. It was a nurse, Rosalie, who had always taken care of him. She had told him, from the very beginning, that his “daddy was a very important person who was very busy and couldn’t afford the time to play.” Little Leo had found that idea ridiculous, couldn’t afford the time to play? Then what he could afford it for? Playing was the most important thing in the world, the only one that mattered. Rosalie, however, also told him “since daddy can’t be around a lot, you have to be a strong little boy. You’re my man, aren’t you”? Leo had taken very seriously his task. He had to be a grown up for the sweet and old woman that took care of him. In the beginning, he had asked for his mom a lot but he was told “mommy has some problems she needs to solve.” Little Leo then offered: “I can help with those problems!” to what he was told that “those problems were very sad ones and his mommy wanted him to be a happy boy!” At the time, Leo didn’t know what those problems were. It was only later on when he learned that the reason he couldn’t help his mother with them was that he was her main problem. Leo’s mother had been an incredibly beautiful woman and her life, personal and professional, had been based on that beauty. She hadn’t bear to become a mother, to have an intruder inside her body destroying her magnificent silhouette. When she expulsed him out, she was freed. She tried to be the mother she was supposed to be for the first year, but she could never make it. She suffered from post-partum depression and couldn’t help but reject the unwilling reason for her deep sadness. After struggling for years, she was able to go back to certain normality but she never became a mother. She was happier without him, something Leo had been unable to accept. He still remembered what she told him one day, tears in her eyes, “It’s not your fault, you’re a wonderful boy, but I am not fit to be a mother.” Deep down, Leo had always known to be a deception to her mother. For a woman so attached to beauty, he wasn’t the perfect son. His father had adored him for his intelligence and talent but his mother, he was sure, would have preferred someone as Cristiano. 

He still remembered the first image he had of his best friend: round face, yet to be chiseled by time, messy hair, way too much for his face, and two brown pools extremely expressive. He was of a normal height for his age, unlike Leo who was already a bit tiny, and his complexion was perfect. He would become a beautiful boy. In fact, he reminded him a bit of his own mother. He had yet to discover his favorite feature of Cristiano, his smile. At the moment, however, the little boy was clutching to his mother, crying and pleading her to not leave him alone. The mother, unlike Leo’s, seemed very attached to the child and was also silently crying. The man next to her, Cristiano’s father Leo had supposed, was telling her “it’s the best for him, this school will get him to be someone one day and he’ll be thankful for this.” The woman wasn’t very convinced but nodded anyways, hugging her son tightly. Leo had been shocked at the contrast between the two parents; the man was tall and fit, he had dark bags under his eyes and seemed very tired but looked strong while the woman seemed sweeter and very much fragile. The little boy, Leo had thought, was much more like his mother. He didn’t know why but he felt some strange need to protect that boy, to teach him to be strong and happy, as Rosalie had taught him to be. 

He went to the room he had been assigned to and started unpacking. He had nobody to say goodbye to, since he had come alone from Argentina. A taxi driver had taken him to the airport, a hostess had looked after him on the flight and someone from the school had picked him up to take him there. His father had been on some trip somewhere in Orient while his mother had been in Paris, at some art event and Rosalie was too old for such a long trip. As he put his clothes into the wardrobes, Leo remembered his last conversation with Rosalie. The woman had told him to grow up into a strong and intelligent young man, one she would be proud of. She had kissed both of his cheeks, had told him she loved him very much and, what had touched Leo the most, that she trusted him to be able to handle this in all the rights ways. She had said, “You can do whatever you decide to do and I’m sure you’ll choose right.” He had promised to himself to become that boy his nurse could be proud of, his parents far away from his mind. He wasn’t even finished when a crying boy entered the room. He soon recognized the one from before, still clutching to his mother. 

“Please mom, don’t leave me here! I’ll be good, I promise!”

The woman had taken the boy’s face into her hands before answering. “You are already good Cristiano, this is not a punishment.”

“Then what it is? I want to go home!”

Cristiano’s father had replaced his mother and was now forcing his son to look him in the eyes. 

“Listen, I know this is isn’t easy but it’s the best for you. You’re not a baby anymore. You’ll make friends and be happy here. As soon as Christmas comes, we’ll get you home for a while.”

“You’re abandoning me!”

His mother sighed as the little boy cried while his father shook his head. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this...”

“He can’t make the decisions yet, Lisa.”

The father had then turned around and remarked, for the first time, the little boy standing there. 

“Who do we have here?”

“My name is Leo Messi, Mister.”

At the moment, Leo was very grateful to Rosalie for teaching him how to present himself to grown ups.

“Are you my son’s roommate?”

“Yes sir,” had proudly nodded Leo. 

“See Cristiano, you already have a friend!”

Leo had frowned at that, he was picky with his friends and didn’t accept everybody as easily. 

“I already have friends back home!”

“You’ll need them here too, son.”

The man had approached Leo before squatting down to get to his level. “Leo, would you take care of Cristiano, please? He has never been away from home for more than two days and is a bit scared.”

Leo had though about it for a few seconds, deciding he didn’t like the sound of the other boy crying. It was giving him a headache. 

“Yes sir, sure thing.”

Cristiano’s parents had finally left, ignoring the heated protests of their son who now lay crying on his bed. Not bearing the sound of it for another second, Leo approached the bed and poked the boy in his back.

“Look, I get you’re sad and all but stop crying. It’s tiring.”

Cristiano had looked at him as if he was a monster, Leo had shook his head and sighed.

“They left but you’re not alone.”

Cristiano sat upright and cleaned his nose with his hand. “Would you be my friend? I’m scared.”

Leo had sighed, contemplating the issue for a moment. “If I say yes, you’ll stop crying?”

Cristiano had eagerly nodded and Leo had extended his hand towards the boy. He was ready to do anything that would stop him from crying. 

“Ok, then. We’re friends Cristiano.”

“Best friends,” had decided the boy and Leo, for reasons he himself ignored, had not corrected him. 

Cristiano had kept on crying for a few nights but it eventually stopped and Leo became the central part of his new family. 

Leo sighed and shook his head, forcing the memories to go away. Since that first day, he had made of protecting Cristiano his own very mission and, seeing him as he was lately, he couldn’t help feeling he had failed. He made his way to class, his heart weighing him down. 

 

“Guys, we have to throw a party!”

Some weeks ago, Leo would have jump at the opportunity but now he was extremely bored with Cristiano’s partying ways. Party, get drunk, and fuck the first guy on his way... It seemed pretty repetitive, even for him.

“What for?” Asked a suspicious Robin. He wasn’t the type to party endlessly; he always said his sleep was much needed. Usually, Leo would think of him as a bit of a bore but, lately, he found him to be a pretty logical guy. 

“Sergio is coming back!”

Leo couldn’t help but to snort. “You want to throw a party for the guy that ruined your life a month ago?”

Cristiano glared at him. “I’m not talking to you.”

Leo rolled his eyes. This was getting absolutely ridiculous. They were more mature at six, he suddenly realized. 

“But if you really want to know, yes. Everybody can change! Plus, I don’t really care anymore. Any opportunity to throw a party is good enough for me!”

Leo sighed and murmured under his breath “You don’t really care about anything anymore nowadays anyway...”

“I think it’s a great idea. It’ll help to ease the tension we’ve all been through lately.”

Yes Marcelo, alcohol will make everything go away, thought Leo. He was surrounded by such brilliant guys...He felt pretty tired of all the bullshit. 

“Don’t count on me.”

As he gathered his things, Arjen shouted: “A party without Leo Messi? What’s wrong man? This isn’t your normal self.”

“Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.” Answered Leo, walking away. 

Robin left behind, surprising everyone. Cristiano couldn’t help but think about those times when he had been the one consoling Leo whenever something went wrong. He still remembered a November’s day a few years ago. 

 

THE TIME LEO DISCOVERED GRIEF

They were around twelve when it happened without previous notice. They were having dinner with their friends when Leo’s phone rang. After reading a text message, he left the room almost running, without a single word of explanation. Worried, Cristiano had left behind him. When he arrived to their room, the image he saw shocked him to the core; Leo, witty and strong Leo, was sitting on his bed, grasping tightly the sheets, his eyes red shot and his phone next to him. Cristiano approached carefully; knowing very well Leo was a bit like a savage animal, always ready to dart off. 

“What happened?”

“Rosalie.”

Cristiano could feel his own heart breaking at the single mention of her name. Leo wasn’t a sentimental guy; at only twelve, he was already a tough boy who never cried in front of others. Some would say he was cold and distant, insensitive even. The truth was Leo simply didn’t talk of the things he cared about; he didn’t share what was happening inside him, he considered it to be only of his concern. Leo had never cared about many things but when he cared, he did deeply and kept it mostly to himself. Rosalie, Cristiano knew, was his weak spot. That woman had taken care of him all his life until he came to the school, then she had received him with joy and prides every holyday. His eyes always lighted up at the mention of her name; he was very fond of her and admired her deeply, respecting her over any other member of humankind. 

“Is she sick?”

“Dead.”

Always so blunt, thought Cristiano. 

“Was it sudden?”

“Apparently, she’s been sick for months.”

“Did you know?”

Leo shook his head, unable to articulate a word, silent tears he was trying hard to retain rolling down his cheeks. Cristiano felt sorry for him. He wished they had given Leo the time to adjust. It would have been as painful but maybe a bit less brutal. 

“A text message. They told me through a fucking text message!”

As he yelled, Leo threw his mobile across the room destroying it completely. Cristiano clenched his fists, battling the urge to fly to wherever Leo’s family was and to hit them for this. He approached Leo carefully and sat on the ground, putting his hands on the boy’s knees, waiting for him to speak. 

“Why didn’t she tell me?”

“You wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it, Leo. She was an old lady.”

“I could have been there! I could have held her hand. I could have said my goodbyes.” 

Cristiano gently squeezed Leo’s knees. “Maybe that’s exactly what she wanted to avoid. I’m sure she was protecting you from more pain. Maybe she didn’t want you to see her sick, she preferred for you to remember the lady that you grew up with.”

Leo was fully crying by then and Cristiano moved to tightly hug his best friend. He had never seen Leo so helpless and distraught, it was extremely painful. 

“I loved her.”

“I know.”

“She was the only one I had.”

He hugged tighter. “You’ve got me too.”

“Don’t let go.”

“Ever, I promise.”

Cristiano had never seen Leo as hurt again. Seeing him so fragile, so human, had deeply changed their relationship. From then on, they were an unbreakable team where each member held onto the other for dear life. As much as Cristiano still believed to have reasons to be mad, he couldn’t help but feel he had betrayed that promise, the only promise he had really tried to keep. Thinking about the party and the night of meaningless sex and drunkenness that awaited him was much more simple though, and he soon chose where to focus his mind on. 

 

 

The party was full of people he didn’t even recognize. Leo, who had accepted to come after Robin’s pleas to not let him go alone, couldn’t help but wonder if any member of the logy was around. Surely, the science of probability to indicated an affirmative answer. In the end, they hadn’t caught anyone but Andrés whose family had covered everything anyway. Leo shook his head thinking about Andrés... He still couldn’t believe it. In the end, Pérez had promised them the logy wouldn’t act anymore, at least for a while. They weren’t exactly satisfied but they couldn’t do much more anyway, not after they had totally screwed up the plan. Leo’s left his eyes wander through the crown and spotted Sergio smiling and dancing. He shook his head; public enemy a few days ago, everybody had received the boy as if nothing had ever happened. Leo wanted to think it was an extraordinary sign of forgiveness and friendship but he perfectly knew it wasn’t, it was just the proof that nobody did really care. His eyes then switched to Cristiano, who was shamelessly grinding with Marcelo. He could feel his jaw falling to the floor; the guy had to be kidding him. Not caring they weren’t friends anymore, not caring they didn’t even talk anymore, he rudely took Cristiano by the arm and dragged him away from the crowd and a very disappointed Marcelo in order to give him a piece of his mind. 

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Cristiano sighed and put his hands on his hips, signaling he’d had enough of it. 

“Did I ring you?”

“I don’t care! I don’t need your permission to talk!”

“You’re not my mother!”

“You’re dirty dancing with the guy that burnt the belongings of the guy you claimed to be helplessly in love with a few weeks ago!”

“So? He’s fine enough, available and easy.”

Leo snorted. “And in love with you. What about the whole “It’s bad to play with people feelings?” shit?”

“I learnt from the best, didn’t I?”

He’d love to say he regretted the punch he threw at Cristiano but, hell, it felt awesome.  
“I’m starting to think Blondie was right, you’re not fucking worth it.”

Cristiano cleaned the blood from his upper lip with his hand, glaring at Leo but not answering back with a punch of his. 

“I can fuck whoever I want.”

Leo chuckled. “I don’t even recognize you anymore.”

Cristiano shrugged. “Ditto.”

He walked away, taking Marcelo to his room. Oh, how things had changed in two years. 

 

A FIRST TIME

They were barely fourteen when it happened. It hadn’t been planned. It had just happened. Everything started one night, when Leo came back from training to find a very distraught Cristiano sitting on his bed. The taller boy had missed the training because of his father’s visit. Leo sighed; you never knew with Cristiano’s father visits, sometimes it went wonderful and sometimes it was an opening into hell. Either way, Cristiano never came back totally normal at the end of it. Leo threw his bag on the bed and shook his hair, freshly showered. 

“How did it go?”

The absence of answer made him turn around in order to look at Cristiano. The boy was immobile, looking off into the space, totally paralyzed. Leo tried to move his hand before his eyes but he didn’t get any reaction. After calling his name a few times, Leo approached him and shook his shoulders until he finally got a reaction. Cristiano looked at him, horrified. 

“Okay, now you are scaring me. Talk to me.”

No words yet. 

“Cristiano, what happened? What did he do this time?”

Cristiano began to talk, his voice shaking. “He said it was time I became a man.”

Leo scrunched his nose, not understanding the meaning of the sentence. “A man? We’re barely fourteen.”

Cristiano eagerly nodded, wanting to go back to being fourteen and playing videogames. 

“What does it mean exactly to become a man in your father’s vocabulary? Because in mine, it could easily mean to go to war or something alike.”

“He took me to a brothel.”

Leo could feel his eyes popping off their sockets. “A brothel? Your own father took you to a brothel?”

Cristiano nodded. “He said it was time. He said I needed to be a man, needed to learn from more experimented people.”

Leo shook his head. They were fourteen, of course they talk about sex but that’s everything they did. Although they like to brag about it, deep down it scared them deeply. Even with their families refusing to acknowledge it, they were still fourteen years old. 

“What did you do?”

Cristiano coughed, blushing. “A girl, a woman, took me to a room. I was scared shitless. She went to the bathroom and I took the chance to escape through a window.”

Leo couldn’t help to laugh and earned himself a glare from Cristiano. “Sorry. What did your father do when he found out?” 

Cristiano shook his head. “He wasn’t happy at all. He told me he’d take me there again tomorrow, before leaving town, and that I better perform this time.”

Leo sighed. “Man, what a dickhead.” 

Cristiano chuckled. “That word has never been more fitting!”

“What are you going to do?”

Cristiano shrugged. “I believe I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

Leo sighed. “Look, you have to lose it at some point. Maybe it’s better this way.”

Cristiano shook his head. “No, it’s not.”

“What, do you want it to be romantic and all that crap?”

Cristiano had smirked. “No, but I’d like it to be with someone I trust. It’s going to be so freaking embarrassing.”

Leo nodded; he could understand that. New things were exciting but also scary, discovering them with someone you knew and trusted was reassuring. That’s when an idea, a very strange one, popped in his head.

“What if we do it together?”

Cristiano had looked at him as if he was crazy. “What do you mean, do it together?”

“You know what I mean. We trust each other. We won’t embarrass ourselves. We can do it horribly wrong and laugh it off.”

“But I don’t like you that way.”

Leo had rolled his eyes. “Neither do I, silly! This isn’t a love declaration. We trust each other enough to do the deed and never talk about it again if necessary. Or do you prefer to do that with a prostitute you don’t even know and that probably won’t attract you that much either?”

Cristiano thought back to the fake and tanned blonde that had taken him to the room, to how intimidated he had felt. He wasn’t looking forward to the next day.

“Maybe you’re right. We’ve had a lot of first times together, why not this one?”

That’s how they had lost their virginity to each other, at fourteen. It had been messy, pretty unsatisfactory, short and painful but it had also been funny, easy and exciting. They had been able to laugh off their inexperience and their mistakes without the pressure of having to perform in front of someone. They had never done it again, since they didn’t like each other like that, and the subject rarely came up. Looking back at that night now, they both knew it had been a pretty extravagant idea but neither regretted it. It was one more first together. Nowadays, they were having more lasts than firsts. 

 

 

When Cristiano woke up the next morning, once he had thrown a delighted Marcelo out, he found Leo putting his things into a bag. In the ten years they had spent in this room, never had the other boy left. Since that first day when he had took him under his wing, never had he abandoned him there. 

“What are you doing?”

Leo looked at him funny. “We’re on a talk basis again?”

Cristiano sighed. “I guess, since you talked to me last night, more like yell at me actually. Where are you going?” 

“I talked to Villa, he has accepted to move in here with you. It took a bit of convincing but, as you know, I can be pretty persuasive.”

Cristiano shook his head. “You’re moving in with Robin?”

Leo shrugged. “He’s a cool guy.”

Cristiano nodded. 

“I thought you’d be happy about this.”

“We’re still us Leo, it’s just not the same right now.”

“You’re right, it’s not. We can use the distance.”

Cristiano nodded while Leo threw the now closed bag onto his shoulder and started walking. When he was on the doorstep, Cristiano’s voice stopped him. 

“You’ll come back, right? Someday, I mean.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll always come back.”

 

“They had battled and bloodied one another, they had kept secrets, broken hearts, lied, betrayed, exiled, they had walked away, said goodbye and sworn it was forever, and somehow, every time, they had mended, they had forgiven, they had survived. Some mistakes could never be fixed - some, but not all. Some people can't be driven away, no matter how hard you try. Some friendships won't break.” 

Robin Wasserman, Greed


	21. Of Teenagers and a Unicorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have to go back to normal at some point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had an awful, horrible, week so far and I feel down. So, please, feel free to cheer me up with comments. 
> 
> The humankind is still worth it, is it? I need auto convincing sometimes. A bit of normalcy, just as my characters!
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter :)
> 
> Cheers,
> 
> Clems.

“What does all this mean finally, I kept asking like a college kid. Why does it make me want to cry? Maybe it’s that we are all outsiders, we are all making our own unusual way through a wilderness of  
normality that is just a myth.”  
― Anne Rice, Exit to Eden

 

Fábio & Gareth. When Enough is Enough. 

“Is wallowing in self pity the newest trend? It doesn’t suit you.”

Fábio looked up and saw Gareth standing in front of him, sighing. Since the logy incident, the blonde had spent his days in a sad silence. He had become resigned and not even Álvaro’s jokes as well as Mesut’s not so subtle attempts at flirting and Gareth’s words of encouragement had been able to change that. The taller boy, tired of the situation, soon took a sit next to him.

“You’ve been a bit lost lately.”

Fábio snorted. “To be lost is my natural condition.”

“Stop it. Just stop it right now because I’m not going to feel sorry for you.”

Gareth took the cigarette from Fábio’s mouth and threw it away, forcing him to look at him. 

“How did you make it here?”

“Huh?” 

“How do you go from an orphanage or the streets to a football club? How do you arrive at a school so elitist that most of the world doesn’t even know it exists? I bet it wasn’t pitying yourself.”

Fábio shrugged. “Basically, it was luck.” 

Gareth chuckled and shook his head. “Luck is to find a five dollar billet going out. This is much more. This is hard work, talent, courage and strength.”

Fábio sighed and took his eyes away from his friend. Gareth stood up, conscious he was talking to a wall rather than a human being.

“I don’t know what has happened in your past so a little break up can fuck up your self esteem so much. I don’t know what they have done to you so you can’t even phantom to trust another human being on a deep level and, honestly, I prefer not to know.”

He then scrunched down and took Fábio’s knees, looking him deep in the eyes. 

“I don’t know what you see in the mirror every morning but I know what I see when I look at you and it’s not a defeatist brat complaining about how bad he had it at life. It’s a tough guy who survived things I can’t begin to imagine and who kept his smile through them.”

Fábio blushed and sighed. 

“That’s my best friend. I don’t know where he is right now; maybe he needed a few holydays from the world. I can understand that but, if you see him, tell him to come back as soon as possible because I awfully miss him and he’s still much needed around here.”

With a last squeeze of the knees, Gareth left hoping the conversation would be enough to bring Fábio back. He did really miss his friend. 

Leo & Robin. Relearning Normality. 

Leo threw his math homework to the rubbish bin with an angry sigh to which Robin, sitting on his bed, answered with a chuckle. Leo turned around to glare at his new roommate. 

“What’s so funny?”

“Sorry mate, I think it’s the first time I see you doing homework, Math homework. And you’ve lasted what, five minutes before quitting?”

Leo snorted while Robin went back to laughing.  
“This shit is not funny at all.”

“Yeah, welcome to the real world where Math has never been funny Leo.” 

“How do you do it? You’re always studying and get always the highest grades.”

“At home, they have expectations about me.”

“Alas, the expectations always sink us down.”

“Alas? Maybe you’re in the wrong career path Leo, maybe you should go for literature.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s go to class. We’re late. How is it that we’re always late?”

“We’re not late. We have ten minutes left.”

Leo looked at the clock hanging on the wall and frowned. 

“No, we don’t. Look at the clock man! And I thought you were the smart one of the group.”

Robin blushes and chuckles. 

“Actually, I am the smart one of the group. Since you’re always late to everything, I made sure the clock is ten minutes advanced.”

As Robin grabs his bag and makes his way towards the door, Leo can’t help his jaw hit the floor. He wants to glare at his friend but the move was too brilliant to. 

“You little shit!”

“You’ll thank me one day!”

Fábio & Silva. It’s time to stop. 

When Fábio arrived, he found Silva in the exact same place he was yesterday. They both had been sharing their sadness for the past two weeks, swimming in an endless passivity that never ceased to amaze them. Sometimes Fábio wondered if they were still human beings or had already became just breathing beings. He approached Silva, who didn’t even acknowledge his friend coming, and threw away the chocolate he had been devouring. 

“Chocolate is not the answer.”

Silva looked at Fábio, offended.

“Chocolate is not the answer? Bullshit! Chocolate is always the answer. And since when are we looking for answers anyway? We come here, I eat chocolate, you smoke, and we keep each other silent company while we both wallow in self-misery.”

For a few seconds, Fábio let himself being drawn by Silva’s melodic voice. The plan sounded heavenly to him; once the right amounts of chocolate and weed had been absorbed, the images of Villa and Cristiano finally dissolved into thin air after having lingered for a moment. The mental thought was interrupted by Gareth’s puppy look and Fábio cursed himself for building a friendship with the guy. 

“Not today. Not anymore.”

“We’re stopping eating chocolate and smoking weed?”

Fábio snorted at Silva, wondering if the boy had finally gone crazy. 

“Of course not! But from now on chocolate and weed are reserved for celebratory purposes.”

Silva chuckled sadly. 

“If we have to wait to have something to celebrate in order to eat and smoke, it’s going to be a long time.”

“Shut up! You’re not helping. We can’t sit there eternally and cry over two boys. Come on, let’s have a bit of dignity.”

“I am fifteen years old. I don’t want dignity. I want my chocolate.”

Fábio sighed and started eating the chocolate. 

“Hey!”

“Enough. I said no more wallowing in our own misery. We’re pathetic. What’s next? Watching Titanic while eating strawberry ice cream?”

Silva contemplated the suggestion for a minute before answering.

“Well, I’m more of a Noa’s diary and chocolate guy myself but the plan is good enough.”

Fábio shook his head and rolls his eyes. 

“You need to stop with the sugar, man.”

Silence fell upon them, a comfortable silence, a shared one. 

“Why do we do now?” Asked Silva.  
“I don’t have a fucking clue.”

Iker & Cesc. An Interlude. 

Opening the door, Iker didn’t even bother to see who was waiting on the other side. He was too tired for the boys’ bullshit. 

“For the last time, I am not switching rooms with anyone! Deal with your own shit!”

When he looked down, Iker was met with the face of a very shocked Cesc. Of course it had to be that way, what else? 

“Sorry, I thought you were other people.”

“Obviously.”

Iker cursed his own stupidity under his breath. Couldn’t he say something remotely smart? At least something that was not utterly stupid? 

“Did you want something?”

“Do you guys do ever something normal in this school?”

Iker looked down, unable to answer. His mouth kept moving as a fish one does, opening and closing itself without any sound. Did they do something normal in this school? Eventually, maybe, not most of the time and certainly not lately. He realized how absurd the whole setting must look to a normal boy such as Cesc and, for a moment, he finds it refreshing. Maybe he has forgotten to be a normal sixteen years old. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Look, I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie or something.”

Yes, he had definitely forgotten how to be a normal sixteen years old because he had no idea how to answer to that. Was he asking for a date? Most importantly, why would such a normal and cute guy want to date him at the moment? It was only upon hearing Cesc’s voice when he realized he hadn’t talked yet; he was definitely being pretty stupid lately. 

“I know catching a movie must seem really dull in your life of logias, dramatic loves and death threats but I miss the normality. I literally just want to catch a movie, drink a bit, eat something nasty but delicious and sleep it off. It’s okay if you’re not into it.”

For a few seconds, Iker let Cesc leave until he realized what the hell he was doing. Someone wanted to catch a movie? Without judging him for his past and with no ulterior motive? It may had been his lucky day. 

“Wait! I’d love to catch a movie with you.”

Cesc laughed a bit at Iker’s enthusiasm and the taller guy cursed himself, again. 

“I mean, I could use the normality too. It’s been too long since I’ve done something as healthy as that. My room at eight? I have the advantage to not have any roommates.”

Had he sounded too flirtatious? 

“Good, see you later then. I’ll pick the film.”

Well, apparently it hadn’t bothered Cesc at all. 

Robin & Leo. Admiring you. 

Leo could hear voices in the background but he was too busy watching Robin. Why haven’t he noticed him properly before? He was a beautiful and smart boy. Someone serious, with no childhood traumas or everyday drama, someone he loved to be around. 

“Do you want a photography? It lasts longer, you know.”

Leo blushed instantly and blushed harder when realizing it. Leo fucking Messi didn’t blush, what the hell was happening to him?

“Don’t be silly. You’re cute but nothing special.”

Robin chuckled. “I bet that sentence has broken a lot of innocent and young hearts.”

“Not yours?”

“Nah, I’m not impressed by you.”

“What do you mean you’re not impressed by me?”

“You’re not really my type, that’s all.”

Leo wasn’t extremely handsome but he had plenty of qualities to compensate that, like charisma. He wasn’t used to rejection. It simply didn’t happen to him that much.

“And what’s your type?”

“Why do you care?”

“Just out of curiosity.”

Robin shrugged and sighed. “I don’t know. I like them funny, cute, easy-going, sweet, comfortable.”

Leo swore it was the first time in his life he heard someone use the word “comfortable” to describe a desired love interest. 

“Plus, I’m taken.”

“What? How? When? By who?”

“That’s a lot of questions, Leo. I broke up with my girlfriend a month ago and I’ve been dating this guy for about a week, I think it could work. You were all so busy with your logy and personal drama, you simply didn’t notice.”  
“He’s is in this school?”

“Yeah, he’s one of the guys that arrived this year. His name is Fernando, dirty blonde and kid face, yeah?”

Leo thought for a while until Fernando’s image appeared in his head. He was cute but nothing special.

“Don’t pout like that. I’m not what you need at all.”

“I’m not pouting! And who do you think I need?”

“Someone that pushes you hard, that challenges you. You’d get bored with comfortable and I’d go crazy without it.”

“If you find him, make a call.”

Robin smirked. “Well Leo, I think you should look a bit harder. There may be a very good candidate around.”

 

Fábio & Silva. We’re still teenagers after all. 

 

“We’re still teenagers.” Said suddenly Silva, as if having a revelation.

“Huh?”

“We’re fucking teenagers. I am tired of poverty, secret loges and what else. We should behave like teenagers do. We should date without looking for a future with the person, we should go out and have fun, we should enjoy friendship.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

Fábio sighed before getting up and standing in front of Silva. 

“Do you like Villa?”

“What?”

“Do you like him? Does he attract you?”

Silva looked down, blushing.

“Oh come one, it’s me, you can tell me. I won’t judge.”

“Kind of.”

“Then go for it.”

“Excuse me?”

“You said it yourself. You’re a teenager, if you like the guy then you should give it a try.”

“But...”

“But nothing, things change. Don’t feel guilty about it.”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on Silva, you have to shake it off your system. You’ve tried avoiding him long enough, maybe this’ll work better.”

“On one condition then.”

“Which one?”

“You give Mesut a try.”

“You can’t condition your love life on mine!”

“Yes, I can and I do. I don’t know how but we’re in this together now. The guy’s crazy about you, what do you have to loose?”

Fábio sighed. “I don’t feel that for Mesut.”

“You’ll never feel it if you don’t give him a chance. I’m not asking you to marry him, just to date.”

“You’ll do whatever you want with Villa without shame?”

“I’ll try.”

“Deal.”

The two friends shook their hands, praying for this idea to work. 

 

Sergio & Iker. Coming Back.

 

When someone knocked on the door again, Iker didn’t really want to open but he was happy, he felt light and decided to not be grumpy. 

“Hi, Iker.”

Sergio’s face on the other side of the door made him regret his decision fast enough.

“May I come in?”

Iker sighed and let him in, the sooner they’d get over this, the better. 

“What do you want, Sergio?”

“I want to apologize.”

Iker swore his blood freezes at Sergio’s words. Sergio, who sat on his old bed, only smirked. 

“Would you listen to me, please?”

Iker nodded, distraught, and sat on his own bed.

“As a part of my therapy, I had to make a list of the people I needed to make amends to. Mesut was first, but you came close second.”

Iker couldn’t believe his ears. 

“You made a nasty thing Iker, but you were in love and I haven’t been the best of friends either. I had so much anger inside me, I didn’t know how to deal with it. I’m not saying I am cured yet, but at least I’ve realized I’ve got a problem. I’d like to get my best friend back, with time. Do you think it could happen?”

Sometimes you swear to yourself you’ve closed a door; some doors are too stubborn to be closed. 

“I guess, with time.”

Sergio nodded. “I’d like to move back in, if it’s okay with you. Villa and Cris in one room is too much to handle.”

Iker smirked at that, agreeing with Sergio. “Fine, but tomorrow, okay?”

“Why not tonight?”

“I’ve got a date.”

The two friends had to laugh at the normality of the situation. 

Cristiano & his Father. Meetings.

“Hi, son.” 

“Hello, father. Do you need something?”

“I’m coming tomorrow so we can solve your mother’s little problem.”

Cristiano sighed. He had almost forgotten about that.

“Fine, we’ll do it tomorrow then.”

“Great, I’m bringing in my lawyers so you can declare.”

Cristiano was ready to end the call when his father’s voice stopped him. 

“Oh, and Cristiano, I’ve been hearing from Mr Pérez there’s a lot of nocturne activity in your room.”

Cristiano blushed, intimidated. “I can explain.”

“Oh, you don’t need to. I’m very proud of your stamina Cristiano, just be a bit discreet about it.”

Of course, thought Cristiano, what else would he say?

“Yes, father. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night champ’!” 

Fábio & Mesut. Time for a new love. 

When Fábio knocked on Mesut’s door, he wasn’t very sure of what he was about to do. He remembered his pact with Silva and thought that his friend must have been right; he had nothing to lose after all.

“Hey, Fábio. I wasn’t expected you.”

“It won’t take long.”

“Are you better?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, thank you.”

“Do you want to come in.”

“It’s not necessary. I just wanted to see if you wanted to have dinner tonight, just the two of us.”

For a moment, Mesut didn’t dare to believe it but the invitation seemed clear enough. He still wanted to make sure of it. As sure as he was it would happen sooner or later, he had been losing hope. 

“The two of us, as in a date?”

Fábio scratched his neck while blushing. “Well, yeah, it could be a date if you want it to be.”

“It’s definitely a date.”

There’s no chance in hell Mesut was going to let this opportunity pass by. 

“What about a picnic? I’ll bring everything, don’t you worry. Meet me at nine p.m. outside, yeah?”

Fábio nodded, still blushing furiously, and left towards his room while Mesut made a happy dance behind. Good things happened to him, finally. 

Villa & Silva. Maybe You Are What I Want After All. 

Silva found Villa sitting outside his room and, for a moment, he felt the urge to run away. He couldn’t though because Fábio had left for Mesut’s room and if he ever fucked his part of the deal, the blonde would hang him. He breathed deeply and approached Villa who, upon remarking him, smirked devilishly. 

“Look who we have here. Missed me Bambi?”

Silva blushed and cursed himself. One sentence and he was already blushing. 

“What are you doing in the corridor?”

Villa sighed and signaled to his room’s door. “This is what happens when you find a roommate more sexual than yourself, I must say it’s a first for me. The boy doesn’t seem to stop, ever. I’m starting to think I may be missing something interesting there... but he’s not really my type. I’m more into shy, introvert, Bambi ones.”

Couldn’t he talk about anything other than sex? Thought Silva, blushing furiously. 

“Now, are you going to tell me what do you want or are we going to feign that this was a chance meeting and you weren’t looking for me?”

Silva sighed. It was then or never. “I’ve been thinking.”

Villa stood up and approached him: slowly, in the predatory way he loved so much. “About what?”

“About what you said, about discovering what I want and all that.”

Villa approached Silva a bit more; he was close enough so their noses were almost touching but far enough so Silva got the message: he was not going to be the one to make the move. If he wanted this, he’d have to take it. 

“And what do you want, Bambi?”

The next thing he knew, he was been thrown against the wall and his lips were being devoured. This time, he proudly thought to himself, Bambi wasn’t even drunk. 

 

Cristiano & The Unicorn. That dream, again. 

 

He was walking through a beautiful and large beach. The sand was almost white and the water turquoise. Everything was peaceful and quiet, a nice feeling expanded in his stomach. He took off his shoes and lied on the sand. His clothes were all white and large, comfortable and easy to wear. He could feel a gentle breeze through them. A nice voice was singing him a lullaby; he recognized the song. It was the one his mother used to sing to him when he was still a child and she still cared. 

Everything was perfect and, suddenly, the sky got angry and the pastel colors turned into saturated and threatening ones. The voice stopped, destroyed by a strong and violent thunder. The space, so vast before, seemed to be closing on Cristiano who was suddenly full of fear and anxiety. 

That’s when a figure emerged from the background; it was a unicorn. The creature, majestic, approached Cristiano and nudged him with its head to calm him. It worked and, when the unicorn got down so Cristiano could get on it, the boy didn’t hesitate. He strongly took hold of the soft mane and wasn’t scare of the thunder anymore. 

He trusted the unicorn to take him somewhere safe and beautiful. The last feeling of his dream, the one that accompanied him for the rest of the night, was one of love, trust and comfort. He slept happy. 

 

“The Unicorn looked dreamily at Alice, and said "Talk, child."  
Alice could not help her lips curling up into a smile as she began: "Do you know, I always thought Unicorns were fabulous monsters, too? I never saw one alive before!"  
"Well, now that we have seen each other," said the Unicorn, "If you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you. Is that a bargain?”  
― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Excalibur, victim of Spain's incompetence and human barbarism. My heart broke for you doggie. DEP.


	22. Everybody leaves. No, we don't.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cristiano's daddy issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers,
> 
> I know it's been a long time since the last update. I am very busy at the moment, everything is a bit of a turmoil. I'll try and update more regularly but I can't make any promises.
> 
> Ps: don't search for a coherent timeline in this fic, I think I lost that sometime ago. LOL.  
> Ps: I valuate your feedback very much. Thank you for it, and for the kudos, and the hits, and everything else. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“You think you're lost but you're not lost on your own. You're not alone. I will stand by you, I will help you through when you’ve done all you can do.  
If you can’t cope, I will dry your eyes  
I will fight your fight, I will hold you tight and I wont let go” 

Rascal Flatts

 

Robin & Leo: if you can’t do the job, find the person who will.

 

Robin observed Leo who was observing Cristiano who was devouring some boy’s mouth. It was as entertaining as it was surprising to him. 

“Why do you care so much?”

Leo’s head shot up to look Robin in the eyes. He had been so engrossed in the scene in front of him that he had totally forgotten the presence of his roommate. 

“Don’t tell me you like him.”

Leo scoffed. “Please, you are smarter than that.”

Robin smirked. “I am smart enough to know you’re pretty much what we call a slut when it comes to sleeping around so why does it bother you when Cristiano behaves the same?”

Leo sighed and tried to change the topic of conversation but Robin was having none of it. 

“Come on, Leo. You don’t judge other people and, if you ever do, it’s not by moral standards.”

“There’s a big difference between what I do and what he does.”

“Which is?”

“Well, I don’t fuck other people because of a sick father educating me. I have fun. He’s not like that. He wants to act like he’s detached, funny and sexy but he’s not. He’s a fucking sap.”

“People go through stages in life. Plus, last year he was already a player.”

Leo scoffed. “A player? You don’t know him at all. He likes to flirt and seduce because it makes him feel confident but he’s not a player. He’s a sap.”

“Then go tell him.”

“I don’t want to. I’m mad at him, remember? Plus, he wouldn’t listen. He never listens. He’s such a kid sometimes.”

Robin smiled at Leo’s fatherly tone. Had he forgotten he was as much as a kid as Cristiano was?

“Then let him be.”

“His father is in town. I’ve seen him arrived. He’ll crush him.”

Robin sighed. “Then find someone Cristiano would listen to.”

 

Fábio & Silva: new things. 

 

Fábio sighed while doing his math homework. It wasn’t exactly his favorite subject. His close attention in class didn’t exactly help his case either; most of his algebra hours were consumed by the demanding activity of daydreaming while the geometry ones were devoted to making stupid drawings with the compass. He didn’t need much to pass anyway.

He kept thinking about everything that had happened since the beginning of the school year and it was enough to exhaust him. Thankfully, things were calmer now. With the logia on a pause and his personal drama at bay, Fábio could finally concentrate on himself. He had to admit Mesut’s influence in his life had revealed itself positive. Sure, it wasn’t passionate love at first sight. He didn’t feel an electric discharge every time their arms brushed, nor did he feel life would never be the same without him in it. It was, however, nice. Mesut was a sweet, caring boy and he felt grateful for that. He hoped, with time, he would be able to fully return the German’s feelings. 

The cracking of the opening door interrupted Fábio’s thoughts. These days, he lived pretty much alone in a room initially conceived for three people. Since Álvaro had started dating Xabi, they had become inseparable. It was now usual to see him slipping into his bed in the early hours of the morning, a stupid smile on his face. Fábio smirked at the door, expecting the sight he was met with: a very disheveled Silva. 

“Had fun?”

Silva blushed deeply and Fábio couldn’t help but laugh. 

“I guess so. You seem quiet spent to me.”

“Shut up! We’ve never done... That.”

“Oh, still so innocent? There are many ways to be spent.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re so blunt since you’ve got yourself your new lover.”

“He’s not my lover.”

“My ass. Well, more like your ass in fact.”

Silva sighed before retorting back: “Speaking of asses, what about yours? I don’t think you’re spent enough for having a boyfriend.”

Fábio blushed as hard as Silva and it was the boy’s turn to laugh. “Not everyone is such a slut, my friend.”  
Silva snorted and the friendly banter soon turned into an even friendlier battle of pillows. 

 

Cristiano & his dad: worthless love

 

Cristiano sat next to his dad, enjoying lunch in the city. The day had been exceptionally good so far, his father and himself sharing an understanding they hadn’t for years. Cristiano then remembered being a little boy, playing with his dad. It was hard to believe nowadays but once upon a time his father had been a very loving being. Cristiano was well aware, however, that the serious matters have not yet been discussed but that was about to change. 

“Cristiano, I have to say I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? About what?”

His father sighed and adopted a serious expression. “I know it is not faire to ask a child to testify against his own mother. Believe me, I am not proud.”

Cristiano swallowed. “If she really did what you told me she did, and she intends to take everything from us, she deserves it.”

“Still, it is not faire. Has she still not contacted you?”

Cristiano shook his head, sadly. “She has always been so loving towards me. I can’t understand it.”

“Cristiano, you’re old enough to know that people don’t really love most of the time.”

Cristiano looked at his father intently. 

“People are egoist, son. They make you trust them so you give them your heart then they crush it.”

Cristiano wanted to protest but couldn’t find it in himself to do so. He thought his mother loved him dearly and she had left. He had given his heart to Fábio and he had crushed it. Even Leo had left in the end. 

“That’s why it’s better not to care.”

His father sighed. “Exactly, son. You can only trust me, hear me? The rest can leave. I won’t.”

Cristiano smiled adoringly to his father and, after the longest time, they hugged. 

 

Leo & Fábio: We’re much more similar than you think.

 

Leo walked towards Fábio and supported himself on the same wall, a few meters away from the blonde. Fábio could tell that, whatever Leo was about to do, was a hard task for him; it was not surprising though, they did not have much to talk about together, had they? It’s not like they were friends or even acquaintances. In fact, they only seem to be drawn together in times of need. 

“You and I are alike, ya know?”

If Leo was looking for a catchy sentence, he had found it; Fábio felt immediately interested by what the older teenager had to say. It seemed too unlikely to be able to finish a sentence that began stating their resemblance, that Fábio was ready to hear whatever imaginative solution Leo had came up with. Seeing the bewildered face of his interlocutor, Leo chuckled.

“I know, it sounds crazy but we are. You and I, we’re survivors. Our worlds are pretty different but they can be equally shitty. Tough places where you just have to do whatever you need to survive. It’s either them or you; that limits your range of action drastically.”

He stopped his speech to reach out for a cigarette and lighted it. He offered one to Fábio and lighted up for him; the blonde got the message, they were having a man-to-man talk. Leo was putting some kind of strange trust in Fábio and the blonde felt he should reciprocate. 

“What is there to survive to in your world?”

Leo smirked. “The same shit as in yours. Drugs, violence, sex, betrayals... I think money, whenever it is its lack or its excess, just reveals the extremes of human condition. Sadly, it is usually the bad extremes.”

Fábio nodded with his head before taking a long drag from his cigarette. While the smoke lifted up in the air, he let go for a few seconds. Leo was surprised at the easiness of the conversation; the two boys have established some kind of mutual agreement. It was not sympathy, not at all; it had more to do with respect. 

“See them running around like the easy kids they are?”

As Leo asked, Fábio let his eyes scroll through the image in front of him; younger boys playing around with a football ball, without a care in the world. 

“It does not come back.”

Leo’s cigarette almost fell out of his mouth at the sound; the blonde could talk.

“What?”

“Once you get to know darker places, the carefree does not come back. You do not have to live in the dark place forever, you can make it out of it but it gets to live forever inside of you. Once they push you through the line, there is no coming back and you do not even know it at the time.”

Leo nodded; if someone had told him that Fábio, out of all the people he knew, could be the one to understand him better, he would have laughed at his face.

“Exactly. Look Fábio, you and I belong to different universes and will probably never agree on much but you’ve got my respect.”

Which is something almost nobody gets, Leo wanted to add to underline the honor that Fábio was receiving. The blonde looked at Leo and gave him a nod of his head while he kept on smoking.

“I think that is why we both ended up gravitating towards someone like Cristiano. He is lighter, ya know? He’s still got that stupid and adorable innocence. Half of the time I want to wipe it out of him but I’d protect it as much as I could if it was really threatened.”

Fábio snorted. “Nobody is innocent forever, Leo.”

“I know but he’s special. There is something about him; he can still laugh like a five year old and that’s precious, it deserves to be protected.”

“Then you do that. You’re the best friend, aren’t you?”

Leo sighed; he threw his cigarette on the ground, stomped on it and turned to face Fábio.

“I wish I had that power. His father is going to ruin him if someone does not intervene.”

Fábio smirked at the irony of it all. 

“If by someone you mean me, go ahead and say it out loud.”

Leo chuckled; he was definitely getting to see a new side of Fábio since the Cristiano fiasco. It was a darker side; he was cynic and tough. Leo was pretty fond of it. 

“Cris’ father is no small enemy. It’s going to take a lot of courage for him to stand up to his dad.”

Fábio shrugged while he directed the smoke towards Leo’s face. “So what? In the end, nobody can do it for him.”

“You’re right but he needs guidance; he needs confidence and you’re the only one that seems able to give it to him.”

Fábio threw his cigarette and stomped on it angrily. “Why the fuck should I give anything to him? The only thing he gave me was a heartbreak.”

“Nobody is perfect. Mistakes happen Fábio; people make them.”

“Absolutely; and in the real world, they pay for them.”

Leo nodded. “He is paying; he lost you, remember?”

Fábio wanted to snort at it, to throw into Leo’s face that loosing him certainly didn’t matter that much when he made that stupid bet and lied to his face in the first place but he bite his tongue. 

“Look, you don’t want to let him back into your life? Don’t, it’s your right but don’t let him crash against a wall either. Fábio, you said it yourself; once innocence is lost, it does not come back.”

“He’ll stand up in due time. I believe he will.”

Leo snorted. “Then you must have some innocence left after all. Darkness absorbs light and you know it.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to keep kicking his ass. Do not let him surrender himself. The world needs people like him; it needs people who are still able to believe in romantic love, eternal friendship, peace, dreams and stupid shit like that.”

Leo stopped in order to chuckle. “God, how sappy I sound? Do whatever you want man but he deserves a fair chance in the toughest battler of his life, does not he?”

Fábio stood there silent, battling within himself.

Leo sighed. “I believe, deep down, you do not want him to live in the dark places we know by heart.”

It was Fábio’s turn to chuckle and shake his head. “So it was true then; the infamous Leo Messi does have feelings. He cares for somebody. He cares enough to come find me and try to convince me to give a fuck.”

Leo blushed; he hated looking vulnerable in public. “Don’t believe in that so fast. In fact, this is extremely egoist on my part.”

Fábio blinked. “How could this be egoist?”

“People like us need people like him Fábio. In fact, people like him are our only hope of still believing that, somewhere, there must be lighter places. And that knowledge is something that even I need to keep going.”

Both boys looked at each other and exchanged a tad of secrets they would never say out loud; neither of them was very fond of words. They knew words could not possibly transfer to the other all the dark they have seen and breathed in and out. 

“You need this as much as I do. You need to believe that he will stand up and rise to be the great guy we both know he can be because, then, you can still believe in humanity’s chances.”

What he caught in Fábio’s eyes in that tiny moment froze him to the spot; it was hope, a tiny little thread of hope. It may have been minimal but it was there, standing up to all the darkness surrounding him, refusing to give in. It was not only respect what Leo felt right there; there was also a bit of admiration.

“In fact, you need this way more than I do because you still have faith in this fucked up specie, don’t you?”

Fábio wanted to say no; he wanted to be nihilist and cynic about it and just laugh it all off but he couldn’t. He couldn’t betray himself like that; he had always been a fucked up believer, what could he do? He wouldn’t have made it alive without that belief. If the world was truly hopeless, then what was the point?

Leo laughed openly; he hardly believed it. Maybe, maybe Cristiano would stand up to his father in due time after all. He strolled away, a secret smile on his face, while Fábio kicked the grass with his foot knowing, deep within himself, everything he needed to know. 

 

Cristiano & Fábio: back to talking to you.

 

Cristiano had signed whatever his father had put in front of him then he had accepted to drop football. It was time to grow up anyway. It had been two weeks and he felt better. His future was brilliant. He would be exactly like his father. When he looked up, he could see Fábio leaving a letter on his bed. 

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Hello to you too Cristiano, long time not to talk.”

“What do you want?”

“I don’t believe your bluff.”

“Excuse me?”

Fábio strolled confidently towards Cristiano and stopped a few meters away from him.

“The sleeping around, the no football thing, the arrogant act. It may be convincing to the outside world, not to me.”

“Not to you?”

Fábio shook his head. “This is not you, Cris.”

“And what do you know?”

“I do.”

Cristiano sighed. “Why don’t you go back to your boyfriend? I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than this.”

“I have. I just wanted you to know I forgive you.”

Cristiano’s head shot up showing, for the first time in a few weeks, expression on his face. He quickly corrected himself though and went back to his blank expression. 

“It’s not like I care.”

“Of course”, smirked Fábio, “you don’t care about anything or anyone anymore, right? That’s irrelevant. I cared enough to say it out loud. You fucked up. I guess it happens. Life goes on. It doesn’t make you a horrible person. It doesn’t make you the person I have in front of me.”

“And what person do you have in front of you?”

“A little scared boy who just wants to be loved by his daddy but doesn’t know how to make it happen. A little boy who’s ready to burn everything he is and loves for daddy’s approval.”

“What do you know about love?”

“Enough to know that your father’s is too twisted to be it. Love frees Cris; it doesn’t chain you. Anyway, not everyone is brave enough to stand in front of their deepest demons. You should really read that, nonetheless”, said Fábio pointing to the letter, “it’s from someone important to you.”

It was only when Fábio turned that Cristiano could catch a glimpse of the tattoo dancing on his shoulder. He could remember the bandage that had covered the zone previously. He had never asked why. 

“What’s that?” Cristiano couldn’t help the rush of emotion coming from deep down his throat. 

Fábio turned around, confused. “What’s what?”

Cristiano pointed to the tattoo, shaking slightly. 

“Oh”, blushed Fábio, “the Unicorn. I made it when I was younger. It was my way to retain something of light in the darkness.”

Cristiano looked at him intensely. “A Unicorn.”

Fábio blushed harder. “Yeah, I know. It’s not very manly but whatever, I did for its symbolic value. The colors had died down a bit so I retouched it when I first came here. I needed to remind myself of who I was.”

Fábio left without more words. They weren’t needed. Cristiano stood frozen to the spot, still seeing the Unicorn in his mid. He finally rushed to his bed and opened the letter.

“Dear Cristiano,

I love you. Always have and always will, doesn’t matter what they tell you. I wish I could say more to you but sometimes you have to believe and hold on onto that belief. Trust me, Cristiano. Please, do trust me. 

Your mom.”

Cristiano dropped the letter to the floor and himself onto the mattress of his bed. 

 

“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first.” 

Jim Morrison


	23. Hey, Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cristiano and Leo find they way back to each other. 
> 
> Some things end, some things continue their eternal flow and others have just began.

“We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward.” 

Alison Croggon

 

Fábio & Mesut: Negotiating.

 

“Where were you?”

Fábio couldn’t help but jump a little bit at the sound of Mesut’s voice. He hadn’t seen the German upon entering his room.

“What are you doing here?”

The underlying statement wasn’t spoken but it was there anyway: this is my room; my space and you can’t enter it without my permission. Yet, you have. Fábio didn’t know how to feel about that. 

“Gareth let me in.”

Fábio frowned but didn’t question Mesut’s version. He was dating him, wasn’t he? Moreover, they were all friends. It was only logical for Gareth to let him in. 

“I’d prefer for you to ask me next time.”

Fábio didn’t want to be rude but he wanted to be clear though. 

“And I’d prefer for you to not go see your ex-boyfriend alone.”

“Excuse me?”

“I saw you.”

Fábio swallowed. Was he being asked to give explanations? He wasn’t used to it and he didn’t exactly like it. 

“Were you spying me?”

Mesut shrugged. “I just saw you going there and entering the room with something in your hands. A love letter maybe?”

Fábio shook his head. “I am not a cheater and it’s not your problem what I do.”

“Of course it is! You’re my boyfriend!”

Fábio stood there, startled by Mesut’s outburst, when the other boy starting suddenly to cry. The blonde didn’t know what to do; he wanted to be mad at Mesut but he couldn’t help feeling empathic towards a crying person. He slowly approached his boyfriend.

“What’s the problem?”

“I just feel so insecure!”

“Insecure about what?”

“You were so in love with him! And he is so much more than me! He is more beautiful, more talented, more everything!”

Fábio panicked, what the hell was he supposed to do? 

“You’ll leave me for him!”

He stood next to Mesut and hugged him, caressing his back. 

“No, I’m not. I’m dating you.”

“Then why did you go see him?”

“He needed my help, that’s all. You can’t expect me to never talk to him again so you can feel good, Mes.” 

The boy cried harder and Fábio sighed deeply. 

“It doesn’t mean I’m gonna leave you. I like you.”

“Really?” Mesut slowly looked up, hope in his eyes.

“Really.” Fábio took Mesut’s neck tenderly and kissed him slowly, taking the time to reassure him. The kiss was like a real caress. 

“But you need to give me space, yeah?”

Mesut nodded. “And you need to communicate with me so I don’t imagine love letters, yeah?”

Fábio nodded then smiled, hugging his boyfriend. 

 

Leo & Cristiano: I need you.

 

Cristiano knocked on Robin and Leo’s door nervously. He was met with Robin’s surprised expression.

“Oh, hey Cris, come in.”

Leo, sprawled on his bed, looked up. 

“Well, I’m going to leave you guys. I guess you have things to talk about and I have a date anyways.”

Robin winked at Leo, smiled at Cristiano, and left the room silently. Leo stared at Cristiano, waiting for him to make the first move. He had been the one to come after all. 

“Did you want something?”  
Cristiano sighed and played with his hands. Leo had to smirk, seeing Cristiano blush and stutter was the cutest thing. It was an unusual sight, he had to enjoy it when it happened. 

“I wanted to see how you were doing.”

Leo nodded, not buying it. “Good, I’m doing pretty good actually.”

Cristiano rolled his eyes; Leo wasn’t going to make it easy for him. 

“I’ve missed you.”

Cristiano’s voice was low; he seemed ashamed of such a statement. 

“I thought you didn’t care anymore about anyone anyways.”

“Come on, cut me some slack here. This isn’t easy.”

Leo smiled; so it had worked. He knew he could trust Blondie after all. 

“Why the sudden change?”

Cristiano approached Leo’s bed and dropped a piece of paper on it. Leo took it, curiously, and soon discovered it was a letter. He read it, surprised. 

“How did you get this?”

“Fábio gave it to me.”

Leo looked at Cristiano, dumbfounded. How the hell had he done it? Blondie was still such a mystery. He had to admire the boy’s work. 

“Impressive.”

“What’s impressive?”

“That he got you this! Fuck Cris, do you know how much he must care to get you this?”

Cristiano blushed and took the letter back. 

“What are you going to do? You testified against her.”

Cristiano shrugged. “She still left.”

“Oh, come on Cris!”

“Look, it would be very nice to believe what’s in the letter but the facts say otherwise.”

“What do they say?”

“She left and my father stayed. That’s the end of it.”

Leo sighed, exasperated. “What if you’re wrong?”

Cristiano shrugged. “She’ll have to forgive me. She’ll know what I feel then.”

“What are you doing here if the letter hasn’t changed anything?”

Cristiano sat on the bed. “I’m not saying it didn’t change anything. I may have went a little bit overboard lately. I felt alone.”

“Abandoned?”

Cristiano nodded. “Now, I know I wasn’t.”

“I’m glad you can see that.”

“Would you come back? I think we’ve had enough space.”

“I don’t know man, Robin is great. I was still hoping to steal him from his current boyfriend.”

Cristiano stared dumbfounded at his boyfriend and had to laugh at the expression on his face. 

“I’m sure you can do that from our room.”

Leo smirked. “Fine, I guess you still need to be taken care of.”

Cristiano punched his friend lightly on the shoulder. “So do you.”

 

Sergio: Staring into the past, understanding the present.

 

Sergio looked at the paper he held between his hands. On top of it, black letters read: “Step 6: Confront Your Past.” He sighed, not happy at all about what he had to do. He looked back at the list and smiled seeing how he had completed five steps already. Step 1: Admit Your Problem. Step 2: Talk Aloud. Step 3: Understanding. Step 4: Acceptation. Step 5: Beg the Pardon of those you hurt. For some reason, the sixth step seemed the hardest one. He still remembered the last conversation he had with his counselor before leaving the center. 

It had been an afternoon full of nerves and promises. A few hours later, in the darkest night, Sergio would take the train back to the school. Two hours by road and he would be... home. 

He had waited in the session room patiently for Mr. Cantona to arrive. That man was a strange one, knew Sergio, but a very efficient one too for that matter. 

“Good afternoon, Sergio. How are you doing?”  
Sergio had shrugged; showing his nervousness while Mr. Cantona had sat in front of him. 

“The before days are always hard. Waiting is an art and not everybody can handle it the same.”

Sergio nodded, unable to talk.

“When you head off, I want you to do two things. I want you to remember everything you have accomplished, and then I want you to remember everything you’ve still got to do. Both are vital.” 

Sergio bit his nails. 

“So far, you have achieved the first fifth steps of this program. Coming home, you’ll face the sixth: confronting your past.”

“What does that mean? I have already done that by thinking about it, talking about it and asking for forgiveness to people belonging in my past, haven’t I?”

“Absolutely, but you still have to actually confront it face to face. This is a safe place. There, all the memories will come rushing back and the emotions attached to those feelings will as well.”

“Are you trying to scare me?”

Mr. Cantona had laughed. “Not at all, I am trying to prepare you. If you think you have solved your problems because you’ve stayed here a month, you’d be terrible wrong.”

“So what I have done here?”

“You have worked on yourself and your issues but this is a daily job, Sergio.”

“What do you want me to do?”

Mr. Cantona stopped dead in his tracks, left his notebook aside, and looked at Sergio in the eye.

“I want you to come back and confront yourself in your mirror. I want you to see the people, the places, to relive the actions. I want you to see the monster lurking in the shadows in front of you.”

“Then what?”

“Then I want you to fight it. You have to convince yourself you are not that anymore. You have to convince yourself you’d act differently today in those same places, with those same persons.”

“Don’t you believe it?”

“Let me tell you a secret, Sergio. What I believe is totally irrelevant. I am not the one confronting that mirror.”

Sergio sighed. “What if I fail?”

Mr. Cantona had shrugged. “Harbors are nice places for boats because there are safe. The problem is that boats weren’t made to stay anchored at harbors, were they?”

“Boats don’t have feelings.”

Mr. Cantona had laughed. “Metaphors Sergio, always metaphors. Look, you can’t know what will happen. You’ll have to find out.”

Sergio had sighed. “I don’t know if I can do so.”

Mr. Cantona had smiled tenderly, as wiser adults smile at children. “Then you’ll have to confide in yourself for once.”

Well, thought Sergio, the moment had come. He slowly approached the corridor where the night from hell had happened. He could remember perfectly encountering Mesut, being mocked by him, reacting violently, beating him up then seeking help from Leo and Cristiano. Every image was extremely vivid and everyone hurt like a bitch. Sergio felt the tears welling up in his eyes. Now he could identify all those emotions he had been feeling, unable to put a name on it. Now he could feel a lost boy, trying to punch out every emotion one by one and hopelessly failing. He could recognize the utter terror he had felt at his own rage, the pain and the love. 

He sighed and sat on the nearest bench. Everything seemed so far away and so close at the same time, it was surreal. He wouldn’t act like that nowadays, would he? What scared him to the core was that, as much as he wanted, as much as he thought it true, he couldn’t promise such a thing. That’s when he understood the first words Mr. Cantona had every said to him: 

“Hello Sergio, and welcome to first day of the rest of your life.” 

 

Leo & Cristiano: Going on.

 

Leo was happily bringing the last of his things back to his old room when he saw Cristiano at the end of the corridor, immobile. He entered the room, left the things carelessly on his bed, and joined his friend. 

He was silent enough for his friend to not hear him approaching. He looked in the same direction as Cristiano and rolled his eyes, sighing deeply. The poor boys –now not so enemies anymore he supposed- were gathered in their common room, laughing. Blondie was sat on the floor, Mesut lying between his legs. The blonde was hugging his boyfriend while laughing at Rooney’s pathetic attempts at joking.

“This is getting so old already.”

Cristiano, startled, jumped a little and turned back in order to discover Leo standing there, hands on his hips. He sighed and started to go back to his room, refusing to have that conversation. His best friend, however, had a very different intention. 

“Your strategy for getting him back wasn’t exactly the best, you know?”

Cristiano sat on his bed and took off his shoes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Leo sighed. “Oh, you do know, the part about you sleeping with half the school in his face.”

Cristiano shrugged. “We weren’t together anymore and I didn’t want him back.”

Leo rolled his eyes once again and sat on his own bed. “Really, Cris? Are we really going to do this again? If I remember correctly, you lying to me was exactly what led you to lose Blondie.”

“Look, he’s got a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, and he got you a letter from your mom!” 

Leo stood up on his bed to better emphasize his point. 

“You lie to him, you make a bet out of him, you sleep with half the school and the guy gets you a letter from your mother when you need it the most. Not to talk about his little suicidal act about The Logy thing.”

“So?”

Leo looked at him with the widest eyes. “So? So? So the only way the guy could be clearer would be a neon sign stating –I love you Cristiano!”

Cristiano shook his head. “He got a boyfriend.”

Leo fell onto his bed, dramatically. “You two are so fucking dense, it’s not even funny. You try to forget him sleeping with everybody else; he tries to forget you by getting a boyfriend. It doesn’t work. Confess your undying love and all that shit already, then let’s all move on!”

Cristiano stayed silent for a moment, thinking hard about Leo’s words. 

“Do you believe in soul mates?”

“Of course I don’t but I’m Leo Messi, who expects me to believe in such things? You and Blondie on the other hand, totally possible!”

“He’s got a unicorn.”

Leo stared dumbfounded at Cristiano. Maybe he should start to really worry about the mental health of his friend.

“A unicorn? As in a white horse with a horn that doesn’t exist but in fairytales; is it his pet? Does he have pixie dust for breakfast too?”

Cristiano took his pillow and threw it at Leo, full force. “This is exactly why I can’t talk about that kind of things with you. You make fun of me.”

“Excuse me Cris but you make too easy. Okay, explain this thing about Unicorns. I’ll do my best.”

Cristiano lied down on the bed and looked at the ceiling. “Lately, I’ve been dreaming about unicorns.”

Don’t laugh, kept Leo telling him; just don’t laugh for god’s sake. 

“What kind of dreams?”

“Let’s say I’m in danger and a unicorn saves me, every single time.”

That’s when the prince kisses him and he wakes up, isn’t it? Don’t say it aloud, kept repeating Leo mentally. 

“Fábio, he’s got a unicorn tattoo.”

That’s when Leo exploded in a fit of hysterical laughter. What could he say? It was simply too much for him to handle. His laughter subsided though; looking at the murderous glare he was receiving from Cristiano, he stopped.

“Excuse me! But, come on! Who the hell gets a Unicorn as a tattoo? It’s so freaking rare.”

Cristiano sighed. “That’s the point. It’s so freaking rare and he has one.”

Leo sighed. “Look, I don’t know a single thing about Unicorns but I don’t need to in order to see that you two want to be together.”

“It’s not that simple. We’re barely on talking terms.”

“Give it time.”

“Maybe it’s better that way, we hurt each other too much anyway.”

“That’s what happens when you care though, isn’t it?” 

Cristiano shrugged. “Marcelo asked for a date.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Tell me you didn’t accept, please.” 

“I told him I had to think about it.”

Leo shook his head. “Don’t go there.”

“It may be what I need.”

“What do you want?”

“What I want isn’t possible so I may as well get what I need!”

 

Leo & Neymar: It’s not you; it’s me.

 

Leo wasn’t exactly keen on seeing Neymar but Robin had insisted. 

“The poor boy is destroyed. What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything! Why does everyone assume I am the one to blame?”

“He’s a kid and you know better than this. Go talk to him.”

“What do you want me to say to him?”

“Be fair. That’s all I’m asking.”

Leo sighed; thinking that going back to his old room had been a good idea. Robin’s influence was far too powerful already. He knocked on the door and was met with a very surprised Neymar.

“Isn’t Marcelo here?”

“Nope, he had a date with Cristiano, I think.”

Leo shook his head then rolled his eyes. “Idiot,” he whispered. 

“Look, I need to have a few words with you. Is it possible?”

Neymar nodded, astonished, and let the older boy in. He sat on his bed and looked up at Leo, expectantly. 

“Everyone keeps telling me how awful I have been to you, and how you don’t deserve it and all that bullshit so here it is. I am sorry. I may not have handled things the best way possible.”

Neymar would have answered but the surprised had stolen his voice. Leo Messi asking for forgiveness? What was next? Oceans burning?

“Don’t get me wrong, I still think I was fair to you. I told you the truth every single time.”

That was more like it, thought Neymar. “That doesn’t really look like an apology.”

“I could have been more considerate about your feelings.”

Neymar shook his head. “You’re kind of right anyway. You did tell me the truth. I just didn’t want to listen to it.”

Leo sighed and sat next to Neymar. “Look, it wasn’t about you. You may do very dumb things sometimes but you’re a sweet, charming guy. It’s just that this is who I am and it’s absolutely the opposite of what you need.”

Neymar nodded. It was such a shame that what you need and what you want differ so badly sometimes. 

“Could will be friends? Only friends, without any misunderstandings and stupid drama?”

Neymar smiled and shook the hand Leo was offering him. You couldn’t refuse peace offers from the lord of the war himself. 

 

Cristiano & Fábio: I guess I care, a little bit still.

 

Cristiano had waited for Fábio to be alone before entering the common room. The blonde was hopelessly battling with what looked like Math homework. Cristiano slightly bent himself over and did the math. 

“412.”

Fábio looked up, startled, not understanding what those numbers were.

“The answer to the problem is 412. You got the first answer wrong, therefore everything else is wrong but the method and the reasoning were good so you shouldn’t have much problem with it.”

Fábio nodded, correcting his math problem. 

“Did you come to do my math homework? Because I’ve got a lot more I’m not really passionate about.”

Cristiano smirked. “I’m not your servant.”

Fábio snorted. “You wished. What do you want then?”

“I wanted to say thank you, about the letter. I appreciate it.”

“You better! I went trough a lot of trouble to fetch it for you.”

“Do you know where she is?”  
Fábio shook his head, sadly. “It was given to me by an intermediary. I talked to her on the phone though, even if the number doesn’t work anymore.”

Cristiano nodded, having expected that kind of answer. “What did she tell you?”

“That she loved you.”

For a delicious moment, looking him in the eyes while he said such words, Cristiano had the crazy sensation he was the one directing those words to him. 

“Nothing else?”

“Is there anything else more important than that?”

Cristiano shrugged. 

“I’d love to give you answers Cris, but I lack them as much as you do. What I can tell you, however, is that your mother’s voice when she talks about you isn’t the voice of a mother who doesn’t care.”

Cristiano nodded. “Why did you get it?”

Fábio shrugged. “A little devil asked for help. He told me you needed it.”

Leo, the fucking bastard. Cristiano should have known sooner. 

“I did. I’m glad we’re on talking terms, again.”

“So am I.”

They looked at each other and could see everything they couldn’t say. A smiling Marcelo, passing his arm around Cristiano’s waist, interrupted the moment of pure intimacy. Fábio understood immediately, smiling sadly, while Cristiano cursed his own decisions. 

“Ready for our date?”

“Sure. See you around, yeah Fáb?” 

Fábio smiled at the nickname. “Sure thing. Thanks for the Math help.”

As Cristiano left with Marcelo, he couldn’t help but think how much he’d prefer to do math than a picnic at the moment. The things Fábio did to him. 

 

Leo & Gareth: Hey, stranger.

 

Leo closed his eyes, relaxing. It had been a tough day.

“We need to talk.”  
He opened his eyes, frowning, and looked at an expectant Gareth in front of him. 

“You and I? What about?”

“The Logy.”

Gareth kicked Leo’s legs out of the couch and installed himself. 

“Have a bit of respect for your elder, wouldn’t you?” 

“For my elder? Always. But for you? Never. Start talking.”

Leo snorted, such a rude guy. 

“What do you want to talk about?”

“I know you’ve talked to Andrés. I want my answers now.”

Leo sighed. It was going to be a long night. 

 

“ . . .Sometimes one feels freer speaking to a stranger than to people one knows. Why is that?"  
“Probably because a stranger sees us the way we are, not as he wishes to think we are.” 

Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Shadow of the Wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how familiar you are with Eric Cantona but to me he was the perfect fit for Sergio's counselor.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it :)


	24. Growing a conscience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gareth changes Leo's world.  
> Mesut reveals as a potential psychopath.  
> Cris and Fábio see the light at the end of the tunnel.   
> Cris and Leo are… well, Cris and Leo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this getting long?
> 
> There's much more to come I think but I don't want to bore you…
> 
> Tell me and we'll talk about it.
> 
> Thanks for commenting :)
> 
> Enjoy!

“A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most.” 

George Bernard Shaw

 

Gareth & Leo: The Whole Truth

 

“I’ve known Andrés almost all my life and he’s the nicest boy you can imagine. Calm, well-behaved, a bit shy but always sympathetic towards everyone.”

Gareth snorted. “You sound exactly like the neighbors of a psychopath talking about him the morning after his crime.”

Leo glared at the interruption before deciding not to acknowledge it. “You can therefore imagine my surprise when I discover him under the mask. I went to confront him that night, not waiting one more minute.”

 

“How are you Andresito? Or should I say the logia’s member? Maybe leader even?”

Leo smirked at Andrés from the door, waiting for the invitation to get in. 

“I see you’re already preparing your luggage. Going somewhere?”

“Get in.”

The always so gentle tone of Andrés’ voice had been replaced with a stern and directive one that sent a shiver down Leo’s spine. If his status hadn’t assured his safety, he’d almost have left running. Instead, he strolled in casually and took a seat on Andrés’ bed.

“What do you want?”

“The truth. It would be nice for a change.”

“I’ve never lied to you.”

Leo snorted. “That’s rich. Your whole choirboy act wasn’t a lie? Because it seems to me that, some hours ago, you were kicking a poor guy to death.”

“Have I ever defended the school’s politic of scholarship? Have I ever dated one of the poor guys? Have I ever helped them?”

That was thought provoking for Leo. Had he done any of those things? No, he probably hadn’t. Andrés was so introvert that it was difficult to know what he really thought about things. He was so educated that strong positions rarely came out of his mouth. Free me of the calm waters, thought Leo, I’ll free myself from the brave ones. Rosalía kept telling him that when he was a kid, now he understood the meaning of her worlds. 

“Well, I haven’t done any of those things either, have I? And yet you don’t see me in the logia. An organization that, by the way, threatened me last year if I recall correctly.”

“That was your fault.”

“Excuse me?”

“You should have joined. If you had joined when we asked you to, none of this would have happened.”

“I’m starting to think you’re a pretty crazy one. What the hell is this all about, Andrés?”

Andrés sighed, dropped the last shirt in his suitcase, and started walking around the room.

“I came from a very ancient family, you see? All of you are rich but not many of you are powerful, and for those of you who are, it’s pretty recent.”

Leo stared at Andrés not liking where the conversation was heading. 

“My family has been noble since the aurora of history. We descend from royal blood. My grand grandfather, the duck of Iniesta, created this school.”

Leo gaped, surprised. That piece of information had never surface in any of their conversations before. 

“He created for people like us, Leo. He created for the elite to not mix.”

Oh my god, thought Leo, when does the purity of the blood kick harder in the conversation?

“Then they began applying scholarships’ politic, forced by the government. One or two were good for the school, it emphasized its prestige and gave a good image of the institution but, lately, they were way too many.”

“What have the poor guys done to you? They are just people with bad luck, Andrés.”

Andrés stopped walking, looking at Leo. “Oh, I agree about that. I do not hold anything personal against them.”

Okay, thought Leo, he was really missing something there.

“So?”

“So what? They became a problem. It’s not their fault but they did become a problem that needed to be taken care of.”

“God, Andrés, you know I’m not the defender of humanity and kindness but those you’re talking about are actual persons, not collateral damages.”

“If you had follow my father’s plan, no harm would have been needed.”

“Your father’s plan? What does your father have to with this?”  
“His father, my grand father, founded the logia and he followed up.”

“But the Logia had been inactive for years.”

“Until very recently, yes. Part of our mission is to keep the logia alive when needed, asleep when in danger of disappearance.”

“Your mission?”

Andrés nodded and Leo was really starting to be frightened. 

“To protect the legacy of our grand grandfather and the heritage of our children. Leo, if we let them take the school, it will lose its value. It will be like any other school.”

“So?”

Leo was really trying to see what was so terrible in the whole thing but it was extremely difficult. 

“The only reason the elites sustain themselves is because they do not mix: a school of our own and a work of our own for a world of our won. But, as I’ve said, I do not have anything personal against those poor boys so I didn’t want to harm them. You were the one to fuck up that plan.”

“And how did I do so?”

“You refused to enroll in with your friends. If you had, we would have had enough power to expulse them from the school peacefully. You didn’t leave me any option.”

“Don’t you dare put this on me.”

Andrés sighed. “You’ll end up seeing the light, Leo. This is in your best interest too.”

Leo snorted. “I don’t need to be in a world of my own to be sure to succeed, Andrés. I am more confident than that.”

“More arrogant you mean.”

“Who are in the logia with you?”

“You won’t know that.”

Leo refused to say it aloud although he suspected that every teenager he had admired when he was a kid was involved into this. 

“You would have if Cristiano hadn’t fucked up your plan. It was a nice plan, by the way.”

“We still have the logia on tape beating someone’s ass.”  
Andrés nodded before sighing.

“That’s why I have to leave for awhile. The Logia, in the meanwhile, will be soundly asleep. But don’t lie to yourself, Leo. It’s only temporary. We will be back, we’re always back.”

“And someone will stop you. Someone always does.”

Andrés had laughed. “Look at you, Leo the idealist. I wouldn’t have thought.”

“Perez won’t let you destroy the image of the school.”

“Leo, Perez is on the side of power and power is on our side. Who do you think is protecting me by sending me away?”

Leo couldn’t answer to that. Point taken, he thought.

“It’s not a matter of if. It’s a matter of how and when. Think about it Leo, choose your side wisely.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You’re one of ours. It’s in your blood, your genetics. You’ll find home sooner or later.”

Leo shook the head and stared sadly at Andrés. He had looked up to that guy, he had admired him, he had wanted to be just like him growing up. The show in front of him was such a shame to contemplate. He got up and walked towards the door but, before exiting the room, he paused and looked towards Andrés.

“I am not like you, Andrés. I have never been like you and I will never be like you. It doesn’t matter how much our bank accounts look alike. I am nothing like you.”

Leo couldn’t deny though that Andrés’ little smirk still haunted his mind from time to time. He knew, deep down, he hadn’t been so far from resembling him. 

 

He didn’t include the last part of the story in his narration to Gareth. It wasn’t necessary and those were moments that only belonged to him. 

“That’s basically it.”

Gareth shook his head, red from anger. “What a fucker.”

Leo sighed. “There were always be fuckers. The important thing is that the logia is not a worry right now.”

Gareth snorted and smiled sadly. “You don’t get it, do you? The logia still are and always will be a problem. Do you know how many people look down on me everyday? Of course you do, you were one of them!”  
Leo couldn’t defend himself; he had been one of them. 

“And why, Leo? Because you have money! But you know what, that money isn’t even because of you! It’s because of your daddies or because of people who did something centuries ago! I, on the other hand, am here by the sheer effort of my persona! I worked my ass off to be here. I still have to work my ass off everyday to stay here so it is a problem when someone thinks he’s good enough to kick our ass out of here!”

Leo stood paralyzed, looking at how Gareth breathed unevenly. He barely recognized the feeling there, was it pride? Or was it honesty? Respect, maybe? All of those seem to come out of Gareth with every word. 

“Tell me Leo, who is more deserving of this shit? I don’t want friendships, I don’t want contacts, I don’t want to be let in this stupid world! I just want a bit of respect. Is that too much to ask? Don’t we deserve as much respect as anyone else?”

Leo nodded, starting to think about things he had never thought before. Gareth sighed and breathed in and out to relax. 

“So don’t tell me there’s no problem anymore. The problem isn’t the Logia, the problem is how people think and that, sadly, can’t be erased with a tape.”

Gareth left a dumbfounded Leo behind. The boy could feel that the foundations of his world had started to shake and he wanted it to stop but it was already too late for that. The world didn’t end with him and Cristiano. There were more people out there. People he should start to consider. He leaped towards Robin’s room, hoping the boy was back from his date with Fernando. 

 

Cristiano & Mesut: Not Who You Think I Am 

 

Cristiano was coming back from his date with Marcelo when he spot the young boy in a desert common room, waiting for him it seemed.

“What do you want?”

“You’re bad for Fábio, why can’t you see that?”

Cristiano shook his head. Not this again.

“Fábio and I are friends, nothing else. It’s not like I own you any explanation anyway but, just so you know, I just had a date with Marcelo.”

Cristiano tried to reach his room but Mesut intercepted him soon enough. 

“What?!”

“Stay away from Fábio.”

“Excuse me?”

No one told Cristiano what to do, and certainly not some German boy fish look-a-like. 

“You heard me. Don’t force me to do things you don’t want me to do.”

“Are you threatening me?”

Cristiano almost wanted to laugh. He was taller, he was stronger, he was richer... The other boy didn’t stand a chance.

“I’ll take him away from you forever.”

“Oh, really? And how will you do that?”

Fábio had shown, time and time again, how independent he was. If Mesut started trying to rule his life, Cristiano would stand a chance sooner than he thought.

“I have my ways.”

“He loves me. He may date you, he may like you but we both know that he loves me like he’ll never love you. I know it hurts but get over it already, yeah?”

Cristiano didn’t know where that had come from but it had been freeing to say it aloud. Mesut snorted then smirked.

“You’re right but he trusts me, not you. If I start telling him you’ve been harassing me, you’ve been bad to poor defenseless Mesut, he’ll take my side in a heartbeat.”

Cristiano didn’t smile anymore. 

“You’re crazy.”

“Nope, I want what’s best for Fábio and you’re not it. I just have to show him. We either do this the nice way, or the hard one. You can pick.”

Cristiano shook his head as Mesut left chuckling, walking down the corridor. Sergio, who was lurking in the shadows, sighed sadly. Mesut would soon need his help.

 

Robin & Leo: Growing a Conscience

 

“Had a good date?”

When Robin closed the door and looked in front of him, he found a very worried Leo.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Am I that easy to read?”

“I have practice. What’s wrong?”

“Something is bothering me.”

Robin dropped himself on the bed, next to Leo. “What, exactly?”

The other boy agitated his arms, trying to express something that wouldn’t come out of his mouth.

“I don’t know exactly. It’s like a hammer.”

“A hammer?”

“Yes! There’s a hammer in my head. It’s like I try not to think about it but I can’t stop it.”

“Okay... What happened for you to get... a hammer insider your head?”

“I talked to Gareth about Andrés and he started to talk nonsense about rich and poor people, then about deserving and respect and I don’t know what else. Stupid things, you know? But, for some reason, it bothers me.”

Robin looked at Leo’s face and exploded into a fit of laughter.

“What’s so funny? This isn’t funny, Robin!”

Robin grabbed his stomach until he calmed enough to talk. He put a hand on Leo’s shoulder and tried to put the most serious face he could pull off. 

“My dear Leo, I think a miracle just happened.”

Leo looked at Robin expectantly, waiting for the answer he was looking for.

“You, my friend, are growing a conscience.” 

A conscience? As in Jiminy Cricket?

“Make it stop.”

“I’m sorry, Leo. I’m afraid once the process has started, there is no turning back.”

Leo wanted the world to stop spinning right then. He wanted to get down.

 

Silva & Fábio: Second Chances

 

Silva entered Fábio’s room smiling and plopped down onto his friend’s room.

“You know this isn’t your room, right?”

Silva nodded, a dreamy expression on his face. “I can’t say what I need to say in my room. I’d feel too guilty.”

Fábio frowned at his friend. “What for?”

“You need to break up with Mesut and it’s not nice of me, as his roommate and friend, to say that.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing anymore! Since I met love, nothing is wrong with me.”

Oh god, thought Fábio, here we go again. Since getting together with Villa, Silva had become a fanatic of love.

“What is wrong with you?”

Fábio frowned at him. “Care to elaborate?”

Silva took him by the shoulders and stared at him.

“Love is such a wonderful thing, why are you sitting here wasting it? You love Cristiano, Cristiano loves you. Start doing something about it.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Yes, it is. What happened doesn’t matter. Love is stronger. Love is always stronger, Fábio.”

“Do you hear yourself talking?”

“That’s not a nice thing to say but I’ll let it pass. I am happy. I want you to be happy. Go and be happy, Fáb. You deserve it.”

Fábio sighed. “Sometimes love is not enough. Trust is vital, too.”

Silva nodded. “Yeah, and you can work on trust but not on love. You’re doing it the other way around, Fábio.”

“Do you think so?”

Silva nodded eagerly. “I wouldn’t do this to Mesut if I wasn’t absolutely sure that it’s the best for you.”

“What about Mesut?”

“It’s the best for him too. This is going nowhere and the more time he wastes with you, the less time he’s got for the someone else.”

“Cris is dating Marcelo.”

Silva snorted. “Pff, so what?”

They both looked at each other then smiled. Maybe it was time to give it a second go. 

 

Leo & Cristiano: Now You Know

 

They both lied down on their beds, looking at the ceiling. Cristiano was the first to talk.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Apparently, I’m growing a conscience.”

Cristiano turned around and frowned at his friend. “And you thought unicorns were weird.”

Leo almost smiled, almost. 

“What so wrong with growing a conscience?”

“Are you kidding me?! Everything is wrong with it! It’s such a nuisance!”

Cristiano smirked at Leo. “And how did the miracle happen?”

Leo started gesticulating, nervously.

“It’s Gareth’s fault. I was fine! I was happy with my life then he walked in it and started talking nonsense then, before I knew it, nothing was the same anymore!”

“Ha!”, exclaimed Cristiano triumphantly, “now you know how Fábio made me feel!”

As only response, Leo took the pillow next to him and forced it down on his face. 

“I hate them.”

Cristiano nodded eagerly.

“How was your date with Marcelo?”

Cristiano shrugged. The truth was he hadn’t thought much about it since it had taken place.

“Contain your enthusiasm. I see it was a real revolution in your sentimental life.”

Cristiano nodded, not listening to a single word.

“What’s wrong?”

“I think Mesut is a psychopath.”

Leo chuckled nervously. “The guy Sergio beat up is a psychopath?”

“He approached me and asked me to stay away from Fábio. He threatened me! He said he would take him away from me if I didn’t keep my distance.”

Leo sighed and got his arms into the air. “Then Saint Blondie came back, as every single day. Here we go again!”

Cristiano’s pillow flew across the room.

“Ditch Marcelo, send the psychopath to hell and win Blondie back so I can finally have some peace at night while you go around riding unicorns!”

Cristiano blushed hard at the salacious implication of the sentence while Leo smirked to himself. He still had some wit; everything was not lost.

“What if Mesut was right?”

Leo sighed. “What did he threaten you with?”

“He said he’d put Fábio against me.”

“Then put him under you before he has the time to!”

“Leo!”

Another pillow flew across the room.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Cris, since when do you back down for a challenge?”

Since the issue is vital to me, he thought.

“I don’t.”

“Then stop sobbing about Blondie and get him back already.”  
“Fine, Jiminy cricket. “

Then many pillows flew across the room. 

 

The Blue Fairy: You must learn to choose between right and wrong.   
Pinocchio: Right and wrong? But how will I know?   
Jiminy Cricket: [watching] How'll he know!   
The Blue Fairy: [to Pinocchio] Your conscience will tell you.   
Pinocchio: What are conscience?   
Jiminy Cricket: What are conscience! I'll tell ya! A conscience is that still small voice that people won't listen to. That's just the trouble with the world today...   
Pinocchio: Are you my conscience?   
Jiminy Cricket: Who, me?


	25. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cristiano becomes a specialist of Unicorns. Leo and Gareth beat the shit out of each other. Sergio thinks about his therapy. Silva faces a dramatic problem. Cristiano and Fábio forgets that the world exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear readers, I have some things to tell you!
> 
> I don't know if you remember, but this fiction was loosely based on Rebelde Way and it will follow the same structure. That is to say that it will split up into two parts, like two seasons of a TV Show. After this one, there are three chapters left of part 1. I felt that the end of 2014 was a nice moment to wrap up the first season. 
> 
> Afterwards I'll take a short break and begin writing Season two (if you still want it, of course!) So don't worry, this story is far from over yet. Season 2 will welcome new characters, I've already got some suggestions but feel free to add any!
> 
> Enjoy this long chapter and thank you for your time!
> 
> Clems.

“Falling in love is very real, but I used to shake my head when people talked about soul mates, poor deluded individuals grasping at some supernatural ideal not intended for mortals but sounded pretty in a poetry book. Then, we met, and everything changed, the cynic has become the converted, the skeptic, an ardent zealot.” 

E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

 

Cristiano: Wondering About Unicorns.

 

Cristiano waited awkwardly until every one of his teammates had exited the room. He refused every invitation to get out himself, using stupid excuses Leo could clearly see through but did not say anything anyway. His friend only shook his head at Cristiano and dismissed him with a sign of his hand, never more convinced of the growing weirdness of his best friend. The truth was Cristiano totally agreed with Leo’s thoughts. If someone had told him, not even a year ago, that he would stay in a classroom longer than necessary solely to ask a professor about unicorns, he would have laughed. He would have laughed at you really hard pointing his finger to your face in a very like Nelson Muntz’s manner. How do you ask a question about unicorns? Cristiano shook his head; what the hell was he doing with his life? How do you end up talking with a professor about unicorns? Oh, yeah, he thought, that could only happen because an absurd, crazy blonde. 

He approached Mr. Ancelotti and coughed a little bit to attract his attention. The teacher turned around surprised to see Cristiano standing there. 

“May I help you?”

Cristiano nodded. “Can I ask you a question?”

Mr. Ancelotti nodded although he seemed a bit perplexed. Cristiano was by no mean the worst student of his class; he was not thrilled by studies, preferring football by far, but he put the necessary effort and was a clever enough boy. To stay after class to ask a question, however, was a new one for him.

“I was wondering... Do you know anything about unicorns?”

Cristiano would be eternally grateful for his teacher’s skill to contain any kind of laughter after years of hearing stupidity after stupidity. Mr. Ancelotti blinked at him, surprised. 

“Are you interested in mythological creatures?”

Well, thought Cristiano, Fábio was weird enough to be classified as a mythological creature, wasn’t he?

“Yeah, that’s it. I was watching a movie the other day and it came up. I didn’t know exactly what to make of it.”

Bravo! Cristiano applauded himself in his head. That was believable enough coming from him. Mr. Ancelotti nodded rapidly, understanding better his student’s question.

“Well, I am no expert in mythology and much less in unicorns I am afraid but I can tell you that it’s one of the very few creatures that holds a positive meaning in almost every culture. It is rare for humans to agree on something, you know?”

Cristiano nodded, interested.

“Whatever it did in that film, it certainly was something very good. Wait a minute.”

Mr. Ancelotti turned around and started going through the books carefully stored on the self in the right corner of the classroom. After going through a few volumes, he finally took one out, an expression of victory on his face.

“Here it is. I knew it was somewhere. I was working on Roman mythology a while ago and I used this dictionary of general mythology. I am sure the unicorn must figure in it. It will tell you better things than I could. Take it, you can give it back at any time. I am not in a hurry at all!”

Cristiano gladly took the book and nodded at his teacher, thanking him before exiting the room. He strolled down the corridor and saw the bench where he stood the first time he ever saw Fábio, still unable to decide it had been the best or worst thing to ever happen to him. He walked towards it then sat, taking a deep breath. He shouldn’t be exploring unicorns, really. The fact that he had dreamt about the creature saving him and that Fábio had a tattoo of it on him was simply a pure coincidence, it had to be. Cristiano couldn’t start believing in stupid things like soul mates, telepathy and what else. He still opened the dictionary anyway, looking for the “U” of Unicorn.

 

“Perhaps the most wondrous of all mystical creatures, the Unicorn is a symbol of magic, miracles, purity, innocence and enchantment. This magical and enchanting animal appears to only a rare few and has the ability to bestow magic, miracles and wisdom to those who are pure of heart and virtuous in their deeds. It is an ethereal creature; after all, it has been said that dreams are the playground of Unicorns.”

 

Cristiano closed the book and stood there, thinking. So dreams were the playground of Unicorns, how fitting! He let his mind stroll back to that first memory of Fábio; he closed his eyes and remembered the absolute spontaneity of the blonde, his sincerity, the magic he had felt upon shaking his hand, and the purity he seemed to harbor in a world fully corrupted. He sighed; maybe the Unicorn did really fit Fábio after all. 

 

Leo & Gareth: Oh Boy, I Hate You With A Passion. 

 

He hated everything about him; the way his long legs ran faster than everybody on the pitch, the unbelievable strength in every one of his kicks, the boyish smile that made him look so innocent and young. He hated absolutely everything. 

Sitting on the bench, taking a pause, Leo tried to think how it had come to this. Gareth Bale had been at the school for a few years now and he had blissfully ignored his existence until now. Everything he hates with fervor now though must have been there since the very beginning; his legs always reaching the same spectacular velocity, his strength already present, his boyish grin plastered on his too long face. Leo had first thought of him as the weird boy with Dumbo ears, then as the kid who wanted to be better at football than he really was, and as the boy who had a crush on the boy Cristiano was secretly dating. In the end, Leo Messi had always considered Gareth Bale as one of the poor boys, not worth of any more attention or time. Cristiano had asked him once how it was possible that nobody but him had ever felt some kind of pull towards one of the poor boys; the answer, thought Leo, was obvious: no one but him had taken the time to spare more than a glance at them. How could you fall for something you never look at? Leo sighed, regretting for a moment those days of absolute easiness; everyone where they belonged, happily ignorant of the other’s fate. 

He shook his head, something uncomfortable growing at the pit of his stomach. He had never had any problems thinking things like that one before; no shame or guilt interrupting his digestions. See, Leo Messi liked to consider himself a realistic guy; he didn’t believe and fairytales and had a very practical view of things. People were divided by many barriers, one of them being money; you either were on the good side of things or on the bad side, and that’s how things rolled. If you were on the rich side, you wanted to conserve it whereas if you were on the poor one, you wanted to reverse it. It was a chess game with the same eternal outcome; the world had been playing the game for centuries now, and so it would go on. Leo was on the great side of things; he wasn’t delusional though, he knew that –like many- he was there only by mere luck, an unwilled meeting of circumstances. He was there though and he didn’t feel the need to apologize for it. Everybody looks out for his peers; why else would their parents put them in a school so elitist as the one they were in otherwise? They didn’t want their children to be mixed. If you asked Leo, he would tell you it was only a question of survival, nothing personal. Of course the school gives out grants to be better at football, to be smarter, to get better overall results and to have a good public image. Leo, unlike Andrés and others, had never a problem with this; he understood the necessity of such a gesture in order for everything to stay exactly the way it was. People needed to believe they stood a chance; otherwise, something like a revolution would come up and people like him didn’t dwell well with revolutions. Many called him a bastard for such thoughts but he believed to only being stating the facts; why did parents pushed their kids to take the grants the school offered? They didn’t want to change the world, they only wanted their children to reverse their own situation, to get a pass to the bright side of thins and he didn’t blame them. Leo’s ticket to the school –and to almost anywhere else- was only brought on money while Gareth’s ticket –or any of his friends’ tickets for that matter- was brought on excellence. You had to prove that, against all odds, you were outstanding enough to be welcomed in the best side of the spectrum; you had to have something to exchange. That was what this entire world was about, thought Leo, exchanging. 

Today, however, his body seemed to rebel to this kind of thinking, one he had been cultivating for years. It had all started with stupid Cristiano and Blondie; his best friend had forced him to come closer to the guys he had so blissfully ignored. They had plotted against the logia and he had to recognize that Blondie was actually a human being; a courageous and strong one for that matter, one that –to his surprise- was very similar to him. Then he had shared time with the rest of the guys, planning things. They weren’t abstract identities anymore; they had become persons with a name, a fitting description, and emotions. Then Andrés had fucked his head pretty badly. It had scared Leo to watch himself reflected on Andrés so vividly; what the other boy told him was despicable, dangerous and unacceptable and he hadn’t been so far away from agreeing with him like he would have liked. Even though he had never shared Andrés’ beliefs, he perfectly knew that his way of thinking could easily lead to those exact beliefs sooner or later. He had suddenly become terrified of himself. Then Gareth Bale, the kid who had been almost invisible to him, had definitely disrupted him. He had stood up to Leo and not many people dare to do that. He had forced him to admit it: those kids did exist and they were just like himself. Then it had downed on him, the injustice of this whole world had downed on him in an unknown way. This time that feeling of injustice was nothing like the cold, detached and effortless thinking usual in Leo, it had been painful. It had felt like a free kick directed at his stomach and he felt disrupted it. 

The growing of a conscience, had told him Robin, that’s what was happening. Leo shook his head; he didn’t want a conscience, he was perfectly fine without it. He would give anything, any amount of money, to go back in time. That was something that money couldn’t get him a pass for, one of those rare things that weren’t for sale. Unable to find a solution, Leo had decided that the best option was to hate Gareth Bale and that’s how he sat on a bench mentally destroying a guy who didn’t exist not so long ago. Leo Messi wasn’t exactly the greatest at dealing with his feelings and that is probably why, when he got called up to the pitch, he tackled Gareth to the ground like the most aggressive defenders on earth would do.

Gareth clutched his ankle in pain, afraid of the damage caused by Leo’s entry. Leo could see Robin, on the other side of the pitch, shaking his head at him and harboring a disappointed expression on his face. Mourinho, who was at the moment directing the training, looked at him perplexed; unable to grasp the outburst of violence that had came out of one of the most skilled and peaceful players on the field. Everybody gathered around Gareth, Kaká and Álvaro especially worried about their friend.   
“What the hell man?”

Leo ignored Rooney’s rambling as the other boy was shielded from getting to him and punching him like he wanted to. Suddenly, before the medical attendance arrived, Gareth sprang up.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Leo smirked, wanting to hurt the other one as hard as he could.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about man, that was only a normal entry.”

A fire raged in Gareth’s eyes as he literally burnt through Leo. He pointed a finger at his chest and pushed it down hardly.

“What the fuck is your problem, Messi?”

“I don’t have any problem, Bale. Maybe you’re the one with the problem; it seems you can’t handle the game.”

Leo knew he was pushing it too hard but he was past the point of no return.

“It doesn’t surprise me though. I mean, we can’t expect some manly qualities of a twat like you now, can we?”

The rest of the boys stood stupefied, eyeing Messi carefully. Leo wasn’t like this normally; he used to simply ignore all of them and go on with the game.

“Look who’s talking, daddy’s son. Tell me Messi, have you ever done something by yourself or does daddy always come to the rescue!”

“Fuck you!”

“Thanks but no thanks.”

Leo blushed and, angrier by his inability to control such a blush, he retailed harder. 

“You wished. Nobody wants you Gareth; your little friend there –he then pointed at Kaká- didn’t wanted you. You’re just a fucking shadow here. Nobody sees you. Nobody will ever will.”

That did it. In a matter of seconds, both boys were on the floor, rolling on and off of each other while blindly kicking and punching at any inch of available skin. 

“STOP IT RIGHT NOW!”

Mourinho’s yelling, right in their ears, was effective. They rolled off of each other and stayed on the ground, panting heavily.

“Have you all gone insane? It has finally happened? We have a fucking finale in a few weeks and two of my best players are punching each other!”

“He was the one to begin”, whispered a blushing Gareth.

“He was the one to begin”, imitated Mourinho with a kid’s voice, “What are you Bale? Sixteen or more like five?”

Leo couldn’t help but laugh then cough loudly. 

“I wouldn’t laugh if I were you. You’re not any better Messi!”

Mourinho sighed, muttering under his breath: “Fucking twats, they make me so damn miserable.”

“You two are going to the nursing then afterwards you’re coming to my office where we will have a very serious talk. Did I make myself clear?”

Both boys nodded, eyes riveted on the ground.

“Rooney, take them to the nursing and make sure there is no more fights on the way to it.”

“Yes sir.”

The three left the pitch while Mourinho sighed and shook his head repeatedly. He then turned towards the rest of the team: “Do you know what the hell is going on here?”

They all shrugged, unable to answer.

“Great. Of course you don’t know anything. 20 laps for everybody!”

There were grunts and whispered complaints but nobody dared to state the unfairness of the punishment; they knew better than to push Mourinho to his limits. 

 

Leo & Cristiano: You Should Play Mate. 

 

When he hears the door opening, Cristiano isn’t ready for the spectacle that awaits him. He drops the books he’s holding next to him on the bed and looks up, perplexed. A tired looking Leo is entering the room, a black right eye, bruises all over and a bandage over his left arm.

“What the hell? It thought you were going to train, not to the war.”

Leo shot his friend a murderous glance before popping his own bed.

“Shut up.”

“Are you all right?”

Leo wanted to send Cristiano to hell but the sincerity of the concern in his voice calmed him down.

“It’s just some bruises.”

Cristiano nodded. “I don’t know man, it looks like you’ve been on the loser’s side.”

“You haven’t seen the other one.”

Realization hit Cristiano pretty quickly. “You were in a fight?”

“No, I just tripped. Have you seen me? Of course I was in a fight!”

Leo didn’t get into fights, thought Cristiano. Fights were always too dirty and low for someone like Leo; at least that’s what his friend had always told him. 

“With who?”

“It’s Bale’s fault. Everything is Bale’s fault.”

Cristiano was taken aback by the sheer intensity of Leo’s eyes as he pronounced the boy’s name.

“What did he do?”

“Exist!”

Leo yelled at Cristiano who felt so tiny at the moment. He had never seen his best friend worked up like that. He didn’t know what the hell was going on but, at the moment, he felt deeply sorry for Gareth. You just didn’t want to get on Leo’s bad side.

“Sorry.”

Leo breathed deeply in order to calm himself. He had fought enough for a day.

“Can we just not talk about it?”

Cristiano nodded, not wanting to push his friend any further. Leo walked around the room to calm himself until he stopped to pick Cristiano’s book.

“General Dictionary of Mythology?”

Leo looked at Cristiano as if he had suddenly grown two heads. His best friend simply shrugged and looked down, quit embarrassed. Leo looked at the book more carefully and discovered a bookmark.

“Please, don’t.”

Cristiano felt so mortified that Leo couldn’t help to quickly open the book before sighing then loudly laughing.

“Unicorns, Cris?”

Cristiano, blushing as a red tomato, shrugged. 

“Should I take you to the hospital?”

Cristiano shot a glare at Leo. “Says the guy who’s just lost a fight against Bale.”

“I didn’t lose the fight!”

Cristiano snatched the book from Leo’s hands and kept it under his pillow while Leo sat next to him.

“What’s happened to us, man?”

“What do you mean what’s happened to us?”

“Remember the first day of class? We were ready to have one more year of fun, the kings of the school. Everything should have been easy and pretty but here we are: fighting guys to whom we barely spoke last year and obsessing about Unicorns.”

“I don’t know, man. I guess things change.”

“When did we go wrong?”

“I don’t think we went wrong.”

Leo looked up at Cristiano, curious to hear what his friend had to say.

“I mean, yes, it was easier before but I don’t think I would come back if I could.”

Leo sighed, looked down and shook his head. 

“Maybe it’s just we growing up.”

Leo snorted. 

“Who would have thought that maturity would consist of getting into fights and believing in Unicorns?”

Cristiano rolled his eyes and threw his pillow at Leo’s face.

“Ouch! I’m hurt! Be careful, you dumbass.”

“See? It’s much better to believe in Unicorns. At least my face is smooth as ever.”

“Bastard.” Muttered playfully Leo under his breath.

The next words came out in a serious tone. “You know, I miss you on the pitch.”

Cristiano sighed. “Don’t start mate.”

“Why not? You love that game; you love it more than anybody else. Playing it is not betraying your father, Cris.”

“I made a decision.”

“Decisions can change. You belong there Cris, you’ve always have belonged there.”

“I’m just growing up.”

“Bullshit, you’re just growing old. Come back mate. We need you as much as you need it.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“It’s always as easy as you want to make it.”

 

Sergio: Getting To Know Yourself

 

“Why are you here, Sergio?”

Dr. Cantona’s voice came out as caring but also strong, with a natural authoritative edge to it.

“I don’t know.”

Dr. Cantona chuckled a bit, used to that kind of answer.

“You didn’t come in here on your own will, did you?”

Sergio shook his head. 

“What was the thing that sent you here, then?”

Sergio closed his eyes and sighed. He didn’t like to think back to that night.   
“I beat up a boy.”

Sergio couldn’t see it but Dr. Cantona nodded while writing things down. 

“Why?”

Sergio frowned. “What do you mean why? You’re not going to tell me that it was bad?”

“You already know that. I’m asking you why.”

Dr. Cantona sighed and dropped Sergio’s file on the table.

“Everyday I receive teenagers with issues, some of them for the same reason as you and yet you are different.”

“Different how?”

“Those kids have problems; they come from a dysfunctional family, from a low class setting where their basic needs aren’t always attended to, illnesses... But that’s not your case at all.”

“Are you saying they have an excuse and I don’t?”

“Nobody has an excuse to beat up someone but they can have reasons that explain it. You’ve got family, lots of money, your grads aren’t brilliant but they’re still ok, you’ve got friends, play football. What is you reason, Sergio?”

Sergio closed his eyes, feeling his headache.

“Why would a boy who has everything beat up someone?”

“What does it matter?”

“It’s the only thing that matter. Could we correct your violent behavior? Sure, simple medication would do that but, if we don’t find out the causes behind it, it will come back. I can’t tell you when but, sooner or later, it will.”

“What do you know?”

“Sadly, I’ve seen it too many times. People tend to mistake their illness’ symptoms with its causes. Do you want to solve a problem? Ask why, that’s the only way.”

Sergio breathed heavily, something awful spreading through him. 

“What’s happening Sergio?”

“I, I don’t really know.”

“What?”

“I don’t know why, Dr. I just don’t know.”

And no other fact had ever terrified him like that. 

 

Silva & David: Here For You.

 

When David got to his room, he couldn’t believe what he found. Silva was sat in front of his door, his head hidden by his hands. He quickly sat next to him, caressing his hair.

“Hey, baby, what’s up? What’s going on?”

Silva only cried harder and David hated the feeling of frustration spreading through him.

“Baby, talk to me. I can’t help if you don’t talk.”

“My dad, my dad is sick.”

“What do you mean, he’s sick?”

“I don’t know. Something’s wrong with his kidney, he needs an operation.”

David sighed and hugged Silva strongly. 

“It’s okay baby, the doctors will take care of him and everything will be fine.”

Silva shook his head energetically. “We can’t afford it. He needs an operation and we can’t afford it.”

That’s when it hit David, the difference between him and his boyfriend. He had never had to worry himself with things like that so he blurted out the first thing that came out of his mouth without thinking it through. 

“Money’s not an issue.”

Silva pushed him hard against the door and got up, anger on every part of his well defined face.

“It may be not an issue for you but it will cost me my father’s death and I’ll have to leave, get a job and support my family so fuck off David!”

Silva ran away before David could correct himself. He couldn’t stand the idea of Silva suffering the loss of his father at such a young age, neither could he stand the idea of him leaving and never coming back. He wouldn’t let his life go to waste like that. He would find a way. What he had said had been true; money had never been an issue after all. 

 

Cristiano & Fábio: You Can Be Whomever You Choose To Be.

 

Fábio shook his head. It had been a rough afternoon. Gareth wouldn’t let go of his anger and he couldn’t blame the guy. He had always suspected Messi to be a bit mental and today’s events validated his belief. Exhausted, Gareth had finally fallen asleep after dinner so he had taken the chance to get a little walk and clear up his head. At least that was his plan when he saw a shadow in one of the now asleep classrooms. Fábio had always been a curious boy so he studied the figure more carefully until he could distinguish Cristiano, sitting on a table with a football ball between his hands. His brain instantly told him to keep going but Fábio had always had a tendency to listen to his belly. Always listen to your belly, had said his mother when he was a child. He never had the time to receive many pieces of advice at home so he kept those given to him carefully. He entered the room silently and sat on the table next to Cristiano’s without attracting his attention. The boy was so engrossed by the ball rolling between his hands that he didn’t realized Fábio was there until he heard his velour voice close to his ear.

“I thought you had left football.”

Cristiano almost got a heart attack, rolling his eyes after looking at Fábio.

“Sorry.”

Cristiano shrugged and nodded. “I have.”

“Then what are you doing sitting on a table, at night, playing with a football ball?”

“Just remembering some things.”

Fábio shrugged and gave Cristiano the silence he needed, letting him take hold of the conversation. 

“You know, sometimes I envy you so much.”

A deep chuckle erupted from Fábio’s chest. 

“Don’t laugh asshole, it’s true.”

“Why would you envy me? You have everything anyone would want, Cris. I, on the other hand, have barely myself.”

“You have so much more.”

“What do I have that you envy so much?”

Cristiano looked at Fábio with something akin to adoration in his eyes.

“Freedom, you’ve always had freedom. Since the day you came in here, you’ve done what you’ve wanted to do everyday. Not caring that things didn’t work like that. Not caring about anything else.”

Fábio shrugged. “Coherence is important. Since I am the only one I have, I try to be at easy with myself.”

Cristiano smiled sweetly. “You don’t have any idea of how hard that is, do you? Sometimes you make it seem so easy, like everyone could do it.”

“Everyone could! It’s just a decision to make. It may not be always easy but it’s worthy it and everyone can do it.”

Cristiano smiled at the fire in Fábio’s eyes; that fire that erupted in him when he talked about things he cared about, things he believed in. He was reduced to being a moth to a flame when Fábio’s eyes burnt like that. 

“Sometimes, when I’m with you, I feel like I could.”

“Because you can, Cris! And if you love to play football then play football because you’re exceptionally good at it and nobody should be able to deprive you from something that makes you happy. Not even your father.”

“Things are not that simple, Fáb.”

“Nobody said that life was going to be simple. Life is not worth it if we live it as slaves, believe me.”

Fábio’s mind went back to the long hours in the orphanage, being told over and over again that kids like him were condemned. He let his mind wander back to the sheer resolution that he would be the exception, no matter what. Every step had been incredibly hard, made of blood and sweat and tears but each of them completed had been a victory. 

“What would you do? If the world weren’t looking, what would you do? What does your stomach tell you to do right now?”

Cristiano’s eyes got lost into Fábio’s caramel ones, unable to resist the pull. Their faces came together almost unconsciously, as if they were repeating a well- practiced dance routine, an unavoidable one. Cristiano dropped the ball and his right hand came up Fábio’s neck. When their lips were centimeters apart, Cristiano stopped, giving the blonde a chance to pull back. He didn’t. Soon enough, their lips touched and the feelings they had tried to trap inside their bodies for months sprang to life with a strength that surprised them both. Their tongues and hands weren’t battling for dominance; they preferred to recognize each other, claiming back what had always been theirs. If by doing what you felt in your stomach you got things like the magic he was feeling, thought Cristiano, he really needed to rethink his way of life. It was impossible to tell how much time passed until Fábio pulled away, a hand on Cristiano’s chest to stop it from coming back to his mouth, but it wasn’t nearly enough for both their tastes. 

“What’s wrong?”

Cristiano whispered the question with fear etched in each syllabus. He had been so certain of not sharing this intimacy with the blonde ever again that he was now terrified of having it snatched from him. 

“This is wrong.”

He could already feel the world crashing on his shoulders. Why had he let himself believe this could work? Fábio’s hand cupped his face and put it up.

“No us, we’re not wrong but our way of doing it is. I’m with Mesut and you’re with Marcelo and they deserve better than this, ok?”

Cristiano’s eyes lighted up with hope. Had he understood correctly?

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying we should break up with them before anything happens.”

Cristiano nodded, taking in the meaning of those words. Fábio wasn’t going to back down.

“I can do that.”

“Good.”

They couldn’t help but to stare at each other’s lips until Cristiano stole a quick kiss again.

“Cris!”

He put his hands up in the air, playfully.

“Sorry, I just can’t help myself. God, Fáb, I’ve wanted this for so long.”

The blonde nodded. “So did I.”

“This time is going to be different.”

“Don’t promise things you can’t hold.”

Cristiano’s hands took Fábio’s and caressed them gently. “I’ll show you.”

“You do that.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The words were whispered eye-to-eye, no more barriers between them. Too engrossed in their reunion, neither one of them realized that a certain German boy stood by the door, his fists clenching by his sides. 

“You won’t take it away from me, Cristiano. I swear you won’t”, thought Mesut, bitterly. 

 

“Love is not an equation, it is not a contract, and it is not a happy ending. Love is the slate under the chalk, the ground that buildings rise, and the oxygen in the air. It is the place you come back to, no matter where you’re headed”

Jodi Picoult


	26. Trusting You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happens!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this may take a bit longer than three chapters.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Love meant jumping off a cliff and trusting that a certain person would be there to catch you at the bottom.” 

Jodi Picoult, Second Glance

 

Mesut & Fábio: What Happened Last Night. 

 

Fábio walked around the building feeling lighter, even though what he was about to do was not a pleasant task. You shouldn’t be happy on your way to breaking up with someone but he couldn’t help it; since he and Cristiano had kissed, he had been walking around with that stupid grin plastered on his face that made him look his age for once, or even younger. He knew he shouldn’t have; he knew Mesut was way more deserving of any kind of relationship than Cristiano, he knew Mesut was probably better for him anyway but his belly –and his heart, half of his brain and other more intimate parts- did not agree and he just couldn’t help it. It had been hard for himself to admit it out loud but the truth was that, despite everything, he was in love with Cristiano; his very first love, sue him for it! Maybe it wouldn’t last, Cristiano would probably screw him over again and he’ll end up crying and moaning about how bad he feels or making up some suicidal plan against a secret entity again but so be it. The fire of joy erupting deep within his belly every second, the amazing feeling that nothing in the world was too hard to do anymore and the simple happiness that ran through him were more than worth it. He’d cry later if he had too. 

Fábio stopped in front of Mesut’s door and sighed deeply. He wished there was another way, a way to be this terribly happy without hurting anyone in the process. Things would have been easier if he had actually fallen in love with Mesut but he had already given out his heart by then. He was proud to at least have had the decency to come to stop this before doing anything else; he knew it wasn’t much but it was always better than nothing. Mesut had been amazing to him and he owed him that much. He knocked on the door and stepped in, happy to see Mesut was alone. The German was sitting by his desk, his back the only part of his anatomy visible to Fábio. 

“Hey Mesut, have you got time? I really need to talk to you.”

“So you already know, don’t you?”

Mesut turned around and Fábio immediately frowned. The German’s face was covered in purple bruises and his right hand bandaged.

“What the hell happened to you?”

“Cristiano.”

Fábio could feel his eyes pop out of his sockets and his frown deepening, unable to process the German’s words. 

“I thought you knew.”

Mesut shrugged timidly and bite his lower lip, his gaze down on the floor. Fábio shook his head, trying to wake himself up out of his stupor. 

“What do you mean by saying Cristiano?”

“He came to me yesterday, after dinner. He told me to stay away from you or he would hurt me. I refused, told him I loved you so he punched me. We fought and well, he’s a tad stronger than me so...”

Fábio looked at Mesut, still frowning. It didn’t make sense. 

“I’m so glad you’re with me now instead of him. He hasn’t changed at all! He’s still the same petulant child who has a crisis whenever he doesn’t get what he wants!”

Fábio kept silent, staring deeply at the wall. He took a few more seconds to talk.

“Why didn’t you come looking for me?”

“I didn’t want to scare you or anything. It’s nothing serious. Do I get a hug now?”

Fábio looked into Mesut’s big, pleading eyes and walked to him to hug me loosely. The German returned the gesture with such tightness that Fábio could almost feel his ribs hurting. 

 

Cristiano & Leo: Love Makes You High. 

 

Cristiano lied on his bed, smiling brightly. He still couldn’t believe his luck. Since Fábio and he had kissed, the world’s colors seemed brighter than ever. He had been so sure that the blonde would not go there again... He felt ecstatic to have been wrong. Of course, not everything had been perfect; three long days had gone by without a permission to touch or kiss him. Their contact had been reduced to secret but meaningful glances, slight touches nobody would notice and stolen moments were promises were made. They had to do things properly, had said Fábio, and even though it bothered Cris, he knew the blonde was right. The opening of the door distracted Cristiano, who looked up. 

“Hello, Leo. How has your day been so far?”

Leo, who was dropping some books on his bed, froze. He turned around, a look of incredulity on his face, and stared at Cristiano. 

“Hello, Leo. How has your day been so far? Are you for real? Is this some kind of joke? Has E.T. finally found you, recognized you as one of his, took you to your planet and substituted you by some clone?”

Cristiano sighed, sitting up properly. “Can’t I ask my best friend, my brother, how his day has been so far? I just love you so I care about what happens to you on a normal day.”

Leo’s expression of incredulity just got stronger. He approached Cristiano and stopped in front of him to analyze his best friend. The boy sat happily, a stupid grin on his face, with eyes that were absurdly shiny. 

“Are you ill? I could take you to the nursery or whatever.”

Cristiano rolled his eyes, got up, and hugged Leo tightly. “You’re the best friend I could have asked for, you know? I don’t tell you enough but you really are, Leo. I feel so blessed to have you.”

For a few seconds, Leo let himself relax into the tenderness of Cristiano’s embrace until he pushed him away and took his arms tightly. 

“Are you fucking high? I am really worried now.”

Cristiano kept smiling and Leo felt as confused as ever in his life. He dropped Cristiano’s arms and sighed.

“I knew your obsession about Unicorns wasn’t healthy...”

Cristiano gave Leo’s cheek a light slap and shrugged. “I’m only happy, man.”

Cristiano went back to lie down on his bed while Leo seemed frozen to the spot, immersed in deep thinking. Suddenly his head shot up and he rolled his eyes, almost ready to yell “Eureka!”

“Blondie”, he said. There was no need to say more.

“Excuse me?”

“Blondie, Blondie is the only one able to put you in such a state of absolute and sickening happiness.”

Cristiano tried to but couldn’t contain the gigantic smile that flourished on his face.

Leo rolled his eyes harder. “Oh my god, you’re back together, aren’t you?”

Cristiano bite his lower lip, still smiling. “Not yet but we kissed and said we loved each other. He just wants us to break it off with Mesut and Marcelo before anything else happens.”

Leo threw his hands in the air in a dramatic fashion. “Thank you my lord! They’ve finally seen the light. Should I sing the Hallelujah or something?”

Cristiano stuck his tongue out at Leo, playfully. Leo laughed, the room filled with lighter air than it had in a while. 

“What are you waiting for to break up with Marcelo?”

Cristiano sighed, pouting. “I kind of feel sorry for him.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “I told you so! Oh, how much I’ve missed saying that. I told you not to date him, man.”

“Yeah, yeah, Leo Messi is superior being and always knows better.”

“Exactly! But, sadly, Cristiano refuses to listen as the stubborn little prick he is.”

“There is no turning back now. I’ll do it after training. I hope he won’t take it too hard. We’ve only been on a couple of dates anyway.”

Leo nodded, stirring himself. “Yeah, I’d be more worried about Mesut’s reaction.”

Cristiano swallowed hard; he had tried not to think about the German’s threats but he couldn’t help it. “Because of the threats?”

Leo shrugged and rolled his shoulders. “I don’t know, the guy just seems creepy as hell to me.”

Cristiano nodded, making a mental note to himself about being close to Fábio whenever he breaks it off with Mesut. 

Leo took off his shirt and walked towards the bathroom. 

“Don’t you have training in about half an hour?”

Leo nodded. “So? Am I supposed to go there stinking or something?”

Cristiano rolled his eyes. “You’re going to stink five minutes after getting there anyway. That’s why people actually shower after the training, my dear Leo.”

Leo rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. “Us, genius, are so misunderstood.”

Cristiano snorted. “And I am the primp one! You’re such a drama queen.”

“I learned from the best!” Said Leo, blowing a kiss at Cristiano who feigned to catch it with his hand and smothered it on his cheek. 

It was only when he was already in the shower that something clicked in Leo’s head and he started to yell. 

“Cris! Did you just say you were going to break up with Marcelo after training?”

Cristiano, still on his bed, grinned. “Yeah!”

“Does that mean you’re actually coming to training?”

“Maybe...”

“To actually play?”

Cristiano snorted. “I don’t know, maybe I’ll put on a skirt and be a cheerleader! Of course to play, you idiot! I told Ancelotti and Mourinho yesterday. They’re ok with me coming back.”

Leo finished and got out of the shower, a towel around his waist. 

“What about your father?”

“He doesn’t have to know, right?”

Leo smiled mischievously at Cristiano, nodding energetically at his best friend. 

“So, what happened to the guy who was never going to play again, blah blah blah... Oh, let me guess, Blondie!”

Leo smacked Cristiano’s shoulder, smiling. “I swear the guy works as a medicine with you.”

“He is my medicine.” Even Cristiano had to roll his eyes at the cheesiness of the sentence.

Leo made a false gagging noise. “You two are the most disgusting thing on this planet.”

On the way to his bed, however, he made a mental note to actually thank Fábio for making Cris so happy. He still found them disgusting though, eternally puking sunshine, rainbows and lollipops. 

 

Sergio & Dr. Cantona: He Was Special. 

 

Dr. Cantona sat, as always, while Sergio lied back on the couch, staring at the white wall. 

“Sergio, I am going to ask you some questions. Try to answer them sincerely, all right?”

Sergio nodded, playing nervously with his hands.

“Did you know the boy you beat up?”

“Yes, he goes to the same school as I.”

“Is he in the same class?”

Sergio shook his head. “He’s a year younger.”

“Do you know much about him?”

Sergio shrugged. “Not much, not more than about most of the people in that class.”

“Had you ever threatened him before?”

“Yes, I had.”

“Do you threaten people on a daily-basis? Do you use threatening as leverage?”

“I have a tendency to do but he was special.”

“Special, how?”

“I don’t really know why but I’ve always picked up on him, since the very first day he arrived at the school.”

“Has that ever happened to you with anybody else?”

Sergio shook his head. “Not like that, ever.”

Dr. Cantona nodded, pausing to write down. “You’ve got friends, right Sergio?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

“Have you got a girlfriend or a boyfriend?”

“A girlfriend back home. I’m not a faggot, Dr.”

Dr. Cantona hummed approvingly. “Do you have something against “faggots” as you call them?”

“Not really, why?”

Dr. Cantona shrugged. “I don’t know. You seemed very eager to state that you are not to be put into that category of people.”

“Many of my friends like boys, it’s fine, but I’m not like that.”

Dr. Cantona kept on writing. “Does the kid you beat up like boys?”

Sergio shrugged. “I think so, why?” Sergio frowned, not knowing where the doctor was getting at. 

“Nothing in particular. We’re just having a friendly chat Sergio; just relax. Do you use violence often?”

“What do you mean?”

“Punching things, insulting, etc. when things don’t go your way?”

“Sometimes, yeah.”

“What happens on those occasions? What would you say goes on within yourself?”

“I don’t know. I guess I feel things I can’t really deal with so I need to get it out, you know? I just need to get it out and don’t know how.”

Dr. Cantona nodded, being surer of his diagnostic by the minute. 

 

Fábio & Silva: We’ll Find A Way. 

 

Silva strolled in Fábio’s room sadly, looking at the floor. He had spent three days trying to find a solution, without any luck. Not wanting to talk to Villa, certain that he would not understand, he had decided to come to Fábio. 

“Hey, what’s up with you?”

Fábio frowned discovering the misery written all over Silva’s face. Silva plopped down on the bed and sighed. 

“My father is sick.”

“What?”

“He needs a kidney transplant.”

“Is there no kidney?”

“There is, my older brother is ready to give his but it’s an expensive surgery. We’re not assured and public health won’t pay it.”

Fábio got up to sit by Silva’s side, taking his hand in his. 

“They’re doing everything they can but, without the transplant, there is no use. He’s got a month, maybe two at the best.”

Fábio could feel his blood boiling. He had seen things like that all his life and he still hadn’t gotten used to it. He wanted to tell Silva how wrong he actually was, he wanted to tell him that nobody died just because he lacked the money but that was utter bullshit. A lot of people died because of that every single day all over the world. He knew it firsthand but here, in one of the most elitist and expensive institutions in the world, he simply refused to accept such a reality. 

“We’ll find a way.”

Silva shook his head, tears falling from his eyes. “There is no way, Fábio.”

“We’ll help.”

Silva snorted. He knew it was Fábio’s hopelessness talking; he had been there too. “With what? You are all as poor as I am or even poorer.”

Fábio shook his head. “I don’t care. We’ve still got a couple of months. We’ll make fundraisings, we’ll collect the money knocking on every door, and we’ll sell one of our own kidneys if necessary!”

At the moment, and even though the discourse was pure absurdity, Silva felt very grateful to have a friend like that. He hugged him tightly. Fábio returned the embrace, promising to himself they would find a way. This school was full of boys belonging to the richest families, someone would certainly be moved enough to pay. 

 

Gareth & Leo: My Best Enemy.

 

Cristiano watched amused how Leo and Gareth kept glaring at each other while they all stretched. 

“If you keep glaring at him like that, you’ll make a hole in his back.”

“If only you could be right!”

Cristiano shook his head, timidly smiling at Marcelo who was staring at him like a sick love puppy from the other side of the pitch. 

“Hey, Bale!”

“What the hell are you doing?”

Everyone in Cristiano’s little circle looked at him, surprised. Even though things had changed, they hadn’t changed that much. The rich guys, friends for years, kept training together when it came to group exercising and the rest stayed between them. Gareth looked at Cristiano with suspicion and Cristiano sighed; if he intended to make it last with Fábio this time, he’d have to find a way to be on Gareth’s good side. 

“What do you want?”

“Do you mind me coming over for the next exercise?”

Gareth glared at Cristiano and looked around at Kaká, Rooney and Álvaro. They all shrugged and Gareth sighed, not having the force to oppose. 

“Come on, you’re not enough anyway!”

Then Ancelotti’s voice came in. “What a good idea! Someone should go with Cristiano. Is there flu or something? Why are there so many absents?”

The boys shrugged, ignoring the answer. Cristiano smiled joyfully: “I’m sure Leo would be delighted to come, wouldn’t you Leo?”

If looks could kill, Cristiano’s body wouldn’t be breathing after that. Leo put on a forced smile and whispered: “Sure thing.” He promised to himself he’d have his revenge, a painful and slow revenge. 

When they started jogging towards the next group, Robin whispered to Cristiano: “You love to make him miserable, don’t you!”

Cristiano smirked at him and settled next to Gareth in his new training group. He smiled at the rest, glad for their welcoming. They weren’t hugging him but they weren’t throwing pebbles at him either. Leo, on the other hand, would have gladly started to throw things around. 

“Hey Gareth, do you know where Fábio is?”

Gareth looked at Cristiano and sighed; not again, he thought. He shrugged: “Nope, just know it has something to do with Silva not being here.”

Silva, noted Cristiano to himself, another guy he needed to get along with. Leo stood closer to him and whispered: “Did you just bring me over here so you could befriend your boyfriend’s stupid friends? Are you kidding me?”

Cristiano smiled. “They aren’t stupid. You need to learn to socialize anyway Leo, you’ll end up a hermit otherwise.”

“With friends like you? Sure thing.”

Cristiano stuck his tongue at Leo and kept training. “It’s weird that Villa isn’t here either.”

They all shrugged, once again, not knowing what the hell was going on. 

“What about Mesut?” Asked Leo maliciously. 

Cristiano glared at him but that didn’t stop him. “Oh wait, his boyfriend is missing as well. Maybe they just took the time to make out, didn’t they?”

Álvaro and Kaká started looking aside, as if they weren’t included in the conversation while Rooney stood there, not fully grasping anything. You couldn’t really blame him anyway, his friends’ lives were real soap operas; it was hard to keep up, he had to actually study at some point!

Cristiano decided to retaliate. “So, Gareth, I heard you and Leo here had a bit of a problem the other day?”

“My only problem is that he’s an asshole.”

“Fuck off! You’re not any better!” Answered Leo.

“You’re not any better? See, you don’t even defend yourself; you just try to put the other down. That’s like recognizing you are an asshole!”

“You walk around here with your head held so high, you don’t have more dignity than any of us, you know!”

“More than you? Easily!”

“I am a great guy, okay?”

Cristiano looked at Leo, astounded. He had never seen an outburst like that from Leo’s part. Since when did it matter to him to look like a great guy? 

“I haven’t seen it yet.”

“I am! I’m not the scumbag you think I am!”

“Prove it!”

“I will!”

“Fine!”

“Perfect!”

The two men were now yelling at two centimeters of each other’s face, their chests bloated with pride, Leo comically trying to be taller than he was. Everyone was watching them, fearful of another fight. They stood there for a few seconds and slowly backed up to resume training. Cristiano shook his head at the absurdity of his own thoughts; for a moment, he was convinced they would kiss. 

 

Fábio & Villa: What Are You Waiting For?

 

Villa sighed at the knock on his door; he didn’t want to see anyone. The knocks, however, were insistent and he finally got up to open the door. What he wasn’t expecting though, was a certain blonde known for causing havoc wherever he went.

“I think you’re at the wrong door. Cristiano’s room is over there.”

He signaled the left side to Fábio, not able of conceiving any other reason for his presence here.

“I know where Cristiano’s room is. It’s you I wanted to see.”

Fábio pushed through Villa and entered the room. David looked at him, annoyed. 

“Please, walk ahead! My home is yours as well!”

“Thank you very much, I appreciate it.”

Villa rolled his eyes. “What do you want?”

“To help Silva and I’m guessing you want the exact same thing, right?”

Villa’s eyes changed at the mention of his boyfriend’s name, tenderness coloring them. “I’ve tried.”

Fábio urged him to keep going and Villa sighed, plopping down on a chair. “I know what you’re thinking. He’s rich; it must not be that hard for him to get the money! It’s not that simple.”

“I wasn’t thinking anything. I don’t like to judge but, please, keep going.”

“My parents send me an assigned quantity every month, not one more penny unless it’s an emergency. We don’t have a lot of things to do here so it’s not like we need much money. I’d need years to pay for Silva’s father’s surgery with that assignment.”

Fábio nodded, “Can’t you tell them there has been an emergency?”

“My mother is a self-made woman and she’s obsessed about me not misconceiving the value of money. She would verify everything before giving it to me.”

Fábio sighed. “Okay, but don’t you think Silva’s story would move her? Even more seeing as he is your boyfriend?”

Villa bite his lower lip and Fábio saw something on his face he thought he would never see on David Villa’s face of all people: shame. 

“My mother is the rich one but my father comes from an aristocratic family. He wouldn’t accept it. I know it sounds horrible but it’s just the way he’s been educated, he thinks we shouldn’t mix.”

Fábio rolled his eyes, thinking to himself that Voldemort would have been immensely happy at this school.

Villa sighed, scratching at his neck. “They’re not bad persons, I swear. I know what you’re thinking but I don’t agree with them.”

Fábio nodded, understanding. “I wouldn’t judge you because of your parents’ beliefs, words or actions. Nobody should be judged because of his or her families. You don’t choose it.”

Villa nodded, gratefully. “I’ve tried everything, contacting everyone but it hasn’t worked. I have a plan anyway.”

“What plan?”

“I’ll tell my parents about our relationship. I know them; they won’t deny a dying man a bit of help. Economically, this means nothing for them. Then I’ll assume my part of the deal.”

“You’ll break up with Silva.”

Villa nodded. “They’ll probably send me back home for the rest of the year, and find me someone more “appropriate.” I’d come back next one.”

“You’d lose him.”

Villa shrugged. “Better me than his dad, man.”

Fábio stared at Villa, marveled by what love could do to someone. Not an ounce of egoism remained in Villa’s body when it came to Silva. 

“That’s very beautiful but I am a bit sick of the self-sacrifice kink we seem to have in that school.”

“Says fucking Jesus-Christ himself!”

Villa glared at Fábio until he saw the smirk playing at the blonde’s lips. 

“You say you’ve done everything you could, right?”

Villa nodded frantically. “I’ve even tried to organize fundraisings but we haven’t got much time left.”

“Have you asked for help?”

“I’ve knocked on every door outside from here.”

“Why outside from here?”

Villa stared at Fábio, frowning.

“This place is full of kids with money, haven’t you asked your friends?”

Fábio now frowned at Villa, not understanding why he hadn’t thought about it before.

“I’m not used to ask for help. It didn’t occur to me. We’re not that kind of friends.”

Fábio rolled his eyes; what kind of friends were they exactly? 

“Let’s try before we have to ruin anybody’s love life, yeah?”

 

Cristiano & Marcelo: It’s Me, Not You.

 

Cristiano waited patiently for everyone to leave the locker room until he and Marcelo were the only ones remaining. The Brazilian had waited for him to exit the room for the last week, hoping to catch a bit of time with Cristiano everyday.

Marcelo sat playing with his phone, harboring a smile. That’s when it hit Cristiano that never had he seen Marcelo without a smile; it was a shame he was going to be the one to make it happen. 

“Marcelo, I need to tell you something.”

Marcelo swallowed, preparing himself for what was about to come. He was the funny guy of the team so people tended not to take him seriously and he was used to it. However, he was a smart guy, very attentive to whatever was going around him and he knew, since the first day, this time would come. Of course, a part of his heart had kept the crazy hope that it would happen later and Cristiano would have time to fall in love with him. It was only that though, a crazy hope. 

“There is no easy way to say this so I’ll just come clean, all right? You’re a great guy, really. You’re funny, smart and charming but I was already in love with someone else when we started this and I can’t shake him off my system. I’ve tried, I’ve really tried but I just can’t.”

Cristiano sighed and Marcelo smiled sadly at him, knowing by heart the sensation the other boy was trying to explain. 

“I have to fight for that person, I can’t just let her go. I’m sorry I’ve put you through this, I shouldn’t have gone out with you in the first place.”

Marcelo shook his head. “It’s alright Cris, I knew what I was doing. You really needed to be blind not to realize it. I just did it anyway so it’s my fault as much as it’s yours.”

Cristiano nodded unconvinced by Marcelo’s speech; he perfectly knew this was his fault, Leo had told him how it would end beforehand.

“Could we remain friends?”

Marcelo laughed slightly. “Of course, we won’t throw away years of friendship for a few dates, huh?”

Cristiano smiled gratefully, convinced that the world would be a much better place if more people were like Marcelo. On his way out, he could hear the Brazilian’s voice:

“Hey Cris!”

“Yeah?”

“If you feel that for someone and you are lucky enough that it’s requited, you should fight for real this time.”

 

Sergio & Dr. Cantona: Learning To Distinguish Feelings.

 

Sergio walked into the garden slightly confused. Since he had arrived at the center, every session with Dr. Cantona had taken place in the same office. This was a new thing and new things were scary. In front of him, different bags of big size stood.

“Ignore them for now, Sergio. We’ll come to that.”

Sergio nodded and was surprised to see Dr. Cantona without his pen and notebook. 

“Have you ever eaten without being hungry, Sergio?”

Sergio frowned but nodded. This doctor was far crazier than he was. He guessed that’s what happens to you when you stay all of your time with crazy people.

“Have you ever eaten without being hungry thinking you were hungry?”

“Hmm, yeah, I suppose.”

“Have you ever eaten believing you were hungry when, in fact, you were thirsty?”

“Yeah, lots of times. Excuse me Dr. but what the hell has food to do with anything?”

Dr. Cantona smiled at his patient’s inability to grasp metaphors. “It’s not about the food, Sergio. It’s about how easy it is to confuse sensations.”

“I’m not sure I grasp it.”

“When you eat because you’re thirsty, you’re just mistaking one need for another, right?”

“Yes, I see that.”

“The same happens with emotions. Get closer to the bags, please.”

Sergio obeyed and observed that a word was written on each bag. 

“What’s the first word?”

“Frustration.”

“Do you know what frustration feels like?”

Sergio nodded. “I guess it’s when you want something, don’t get it and become angry because of it?”

Dr. Cantona shook his head. “Anger is the next bag, Sergio. It is really easy to mistake frustration for anger but they are not the same thing. What’s on the third bag?”

“Sadness.”

“Next?”

“Pain.”

“Then?”

“Rancor.”

“Next?”

“Self-loathing.”

“The last?”

“Love.”

“You see Sergio, what’s happening to you is that you’re beginning to feel a lot of things you haven’t felt before and you are not able to identify them which makes you angry.”

“That’s why I’m violent?”

“Well, since you don’t know how to distinguish those emotions, you just put them all under the label of anger and act violently out of them, yeah.”

“What’s love doing there? Love is so different from the rest of emotions.”

Dr. Cantona shook his head. “Oh Sergio, you would be surprised at how easy it is to mistake love for very negative emotions. Please, carry every bag.”

With difficulty, Sergio loaded the bags on his back and carried them through some meters before falling to the ground, exhausted. 

“What happened?”

“They’re heavy. I can’t keep going with those on me.”

Dr. Cantona approached Sergio and sat in front of him on the floor. “You carry all those bags with you everyday, Sergio but it’s too much weight and you just can’t make it like that.”

Sergio started to cry, feeling extremely tired and old all of a sudden. He tried to hide but Dr. Cantona stopped him. He then started punching the floor.

“Sergio, you can punch the floor all you want but those emotions won’t leave until you work through them.”

Sergio only cried harder, feeling tremendously powerless. “What do I do? I want them to leave! Please!”

“You just let go. You want to cry? You cry. It’s all right. You want to cry, you cry; there is no need to punch things.”

Dr. Cantona hugged Sergio and the boy, for once, let it all out without the use of violence.

“It’s okay, they are too heavy to carry. It’s not a weakness, they simply are too heavy and that’s just fine. You’re safe here, you can let go now.”

 

Cristiano & Fábio: Choosing To Trust You. 

 

When Cristiano opened the door to his room, he wasn’t expecting to find Fábio sitting on his bed. An instant smile appeared on his face.

“What are you doing here? How did you get in?”

Fábio shrugged. “Have you already forgotten I have my tricks? We need to talk.”

Cristiano sighed. “It was too good to be true.” He made his way to the bed and sat next to Fábio. 

“Have you seen Mesut today?”

Cristiano shook his head. “No, should I have?”

“I went to break up with him this morning and he was full of bruises, claiming you were the responsible for it.”

Cristiano felt his blood boil. Of course it would happen just like that. Mesut’s words came back to haunt him: he trusts me, not you. Of course he’d lie and Fábio would believe him over Cristiano. What the hell was he thinking? He sighed, looking down. He wanted to leave right then but Marcelo’s words came back to his mind. He had to try, even if the outcome hurt him even more afterwards. 

“I know you have no reason to trust me but that’s not true, Fábio. I would never jeopardize this chance with you like that.”

Cristiano kept looking down, waiting for Fábio to send him to hell but the seconds went by and it hadn’t happened yet. He slowly looked up and the blonde was still there, looking at him. 

“You don’t believe me, right?”

Fábio sighed. “It’s not that. It’s just that it’s hard to imagine Mesut lying to me like that but I do believe you. If you say he was lying, then he was lying.”

Cristiano looked at Fábio amazed; he couldn’t believe his ears. His brain had to be deceiving him. 

“Do you really trust me?”

Fábio shrugged. “If I’m about to start a relationship with you, I better, don’t you think?”

Cristiano laughed nervously while Fábio frowned at him. “Are you all right?”

“I’ve never been better!”

Cristiano soon stopped talking, too busy claiming Fábio’s mouth, pinning him on the bed. 

“Thank you.”

“For what? For believing me.”

“I love you.”

“So do I.”

Cristiano would have happily resumed their make out session but Fábio pushed him, rolling from under him. 

“What now?”

“I haven’t broken up with him yet.”

“Why not? I broke up with Marcelo today.”

“The guy was full of bruises! Plus, if he’s lying then he’s highly unstable.”

Cristiano hugged Fábio tightly, protecting him of any imaginary enemy. 

“Do you think he made that to himself?”

Cristiano shrugged. “He threatened me.”

“What?”

“A while ago, he told me I wouldn’t take you from him so yes, I totally believe he did it to himself.”

Fábio sighed.

“Don’t you think?”

“I don’t know Cris, I’ve been dating him for a few months and he’s been nothing but gentle to me.”

Cristiano rolled his eyes, knowing not to push too hard. Fábio had believed him and that was already a victory.

“Why didn’t you told me about the threats?”

Cristiano shrugged. “Don’t be mad?”

“You have to trust me. Promise you’ll tell me those things from now on.”

“I promise.”

Cristiano hugged Fábio tightly and the blonde whimpered a bit.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, it’s just my ribs are a bit sore.”

Cristiano took Fábio’s shirt and rolled it up a bit; purple marks appeared on Fábio’s body. They were tiny, almost accidental, but they were there. 

“What are those?”

“Oh, nothing big. Mesut just hugged me really tight this morning. At one point, I thought I would suffocate.”

Fábio said it with a laugh in his throat but Cristiano was much more serious about it. Could Mesut be really dangerous to Fábio?

“Be careful, Fáb.”

“Stop it, he won’t harm me.”

Cristiano sighed, promising to himself he would make sure of that. 

“I’ll break things off tomorrow, all right?”

Cristiano nodded, satisfied enough with that promise.

“Anyway, I have something to ask you.”

“Shoot.”

“Long story short: Silva’s dad is sick, he needs a kidney transplant but he’s got no money and Villa can’t help him. Without a transplant, his father has two months at best.”

Cristiano sighed sadly. He didn’t really know Silva but he seemed like a good kid and that was a very unfair thing.

“How much?”

“Around 262.000 $.”

Cristiano whistled. “That’s a lot of money. Our parents would never give us that much cash. I can’t come up with that much, Fáb.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to. I though that all together we could come up with part of the money at least?”

Cristiano frowned, immersed in deep thinking. “Well, I am on very good terms with my dad at the moment. If I tell him about it, he’ll probably give me something.”

“Plus, it would be a good deed; the kind of deed that shows you’re not a horrible person.”

Cristiano smiled out of the blue. “The kind of deed that shows you’re not a horrible person you say?”

Fábio nodded.

“Oh baby, I may have just the right guy for this job!”

 

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” 

John Bunyan


	27. Spiraling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happens

“The world is little, people are little, human life is little. There is only one big thing — desire.” 

Willa Cather, The Song of the Lark

 

Sergio & Dr. Cantona: Do Not Back Out Now.

 

Sergio took a deep breath; his body was shaking and so was his mind. Standing outside Dr. Cantona’s office, he would have given anything to be driven far away of the doctor. He knew, however, that this was probably his only chance. If he let things go further, he could reach a dangerous point of no return. Now, looking back to those days at the clinic, Sergio knew he wasn’t afraid of crying again, of coming undone in front of the doctor; in fact, he had been terrified of what he would find out about himself. He had taken a leap of fait that day, believing the session to be essential in his recovery; Sergio was now glad he had been honest enough to embrace the fact that he needed recovery. He smiled at himself; that tiny moment seemed so easy now but, back then, it had taken a great amount of courage. 

As he opened the door, he was met with a smiling Dr. Cantona.

“I am glad you finally decided to come, Sergio.”

After their last session, too emotional to handle for Sergio, the teenager had asked to be left alone. He didn’t want to see the Dr. anymore; he just desired to sit, waiting for his stay at the Clinique to be over. Dr. Cantona had sent him a note; a note adult Sergio still kept in some box full of old memories nobody cared about anymore but him. Sometimes, whenever he was feeling exceptionally weak, he took the note out to re-read it. 

“Dear Sergio,

I can imagine how you feel right now. You are scared; you feel alone, uneasy and can’t understand half of what is going on. You don’t recognize anymore the boy looking at you through your reflection.   
It’s all right. It happens to all of us and not only at your age; in fact, I can assure you it will happen again. I have never forced a therapy on any of my patients and it’s not out of generosity but simply because unwilling therapies never work. You have to want to go further in order to advance; otherwise, no one can make you put a foot in front of the other.   
If you do not wish to come back, or simply aren’t ready to yet, that is fine. It is your choice. You will be released in two weeks either way. I have to tell you, though, that it would be a shame. Last time you made the most difficult thing you’ll ever have to do: you took the first step. I can promise that, from then on, it only gets easier. You should take the chance Sergio because you cannot know whether you’ll ever be able to take that brave first step again. 

I’ll be waiting in my office, in case you decide to take the second step. 

Sincerely,

Dr. Cantona.”

The doctor had been right; beginnings are always hard so you better keep going once you’ve started. 

Cristiano & Leo: This Is Your Chance. 

Cristiano stumbled into his room happily, knowing than in a few hours he could call Fábio his boyfriend again. Things would finally go back to what they should have always been. 

Sprawled out on his bed, Leo was mumbling incoherencies against his pillow.

“Are you talking alone? To think you made fun of me for researching on Unicorns...” snorted Cristiano, hoping to get a reaction out of his best friend.

Leo, however, kept up his strange mumbling and Cristiano shook his head. He sat on his friend’s ass, joyfully ignoring his protests. 

“Maybe you were right and this conscience thing isn’t working for you. Not everybody is made to have a conscience, man.”

That got Leo’s attention and he finally sat, throwing Cristiano off balance and onto the bed. 

“What do you mean?”

Cristiano shrugged, his innocent pout already in place. Leo knew not to trust that boyish look; he should never crave in again.

“Gareth may have been right, after all. It’s okay though, you don’t have to be a good person for me to love you.”

“What the fuck man?!” 

Leo’s face of indignation was so funny that Cristiano could barely contain his laughter. He made the effort though, too please by how well he was playing the other boy. 

“It didn’t bother you so much before, did it?”

Leo threw his hands in the air. “So what? Maybe I’ve changed! You used to sleep with the whole school before, part of the town too and now you’re stupidly in love with a Unicorn! Do I say something to you? No, I don’t! I help you out, you fucker.”

Cristiano stayed frozen to the spot, taken back by his friend’s outburst. For a few seconds, they both looked into each other’s eyes, too shocked to properly respond, until Leo sighed, threw his head back on his pillow and brought both of his hands to cover his face. 

“What the hell is happening to me? I don’t recognize me anymore.”

Cristiano shook his head, a fond smile on his face. “Maybe I can help you.”

Leo opened his fingers slowly, allowing one of his eyes to look at Cristiano. “How?”

Cristiano smirked. “I have the perfect opportunity for you to show Gareth how wrong he is.”

“Really?” Leo’s eyes popped out making him look like a kid on Christmas’ morning and Cristiano couldn’t have found it any more adorable. 

“Yes, you can show Bale what a great guy you really are so he can start looking at you with other eyes.”

Leo was so delighted at those words; he didn’t realize the implications of Cristiano’s sentence and his playful tone until a few seconds later.

“Why would I want him to look at me with other eyes? This is just some kind of stupid bet.”

Cristiano nodded in exaggerated way before humming his approval. “Sure, man, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“What are you insinuating?”

Cristiano shook his head and shrugged. “We’re getting off the subject here.”

Leo rolled his eyes but nodded. “So, what do I have to do?”

“Silva’s father is very ill. He needs surgery and there’s no way he can afford it.”

Leo looked at Cristiano quizzically. “What should it matter to me?”

Cristiano gently slapped Leo on the cheek. “I know this is something new to you but good persons worry about other persons.”

Leo squinted his eyes. “I do worry about other persons. I worry for you! I worry for you a lot.”

Cristiano awed and hugged Leo who kept pushing him away. “That’s very cute and totally reciprocated but, to be a good person, you’ll need to worry about more people.”

“More people? What kind of people?”

“People you may not love, or like, not even know for that matter.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It’s called empathy but we can get into that another day. Let’s take baby steps, shall we?”

Leo glared at Cristiano. “I’m not the Grinch.”

Cristiano laughed. “You should care about Silva’s father because Silva is Villa’s boyfriend and Villa is our friend. Plus, if you intend to get something going on with Gareth, you have to worry about his friends too and Silva is.”

“I don’t intend to get something going on with Gareth! Have you gone out of your mind?”

“Whatever you say. The point is you should care about Silva’s father situation.”

“So what, I should get him money so his dad can have surgery?”

“Since you can access said money, you should.”

“How much?”

“An awful lot. I mean, nothing for your father but still... I doubt he’ll give you all of it for no reason.”

“So what do I do?”

“You gather what you can. Good people are not expected to have every solution to every problem; they are just expected to try and do what they can.”

Leo sighed. “Fine, whatever. I guess the poor kid doesn’t deserve to become an orphan so soon anyway.”

“Oh, Leo Messi becoming the man I knew he could be. I am so proud!”

The next thing he knew, an army of flying pillows was attacking Cristiano. 

 

Silva & Villa: I Am Sorry. 

 

When Villa opened the door to his room, he found a child looking like Silva in front of him. His boyfriend was fidgeting with his hands, looking downwards, apparently extremely embarrassed. Before he had time to react, Silva started talking so fast and low that he almost didn’t catch the meaning of his words. 

“I am sorry. My reaction was unfair and you didn’t deserve my outburst but I am under a lot of pressure so being near me these days isn’t going to be any easy.”

Villa smiled sweetly at the younger boy and reached one of his hands, pushing him into the room. 

“To what do I owe this wonderful change of behavior?”

Silva looked sheepishly at Villa. “Fábio told me what you intended to do.”

“Fucking kid”, snorted Villa, “he didn’t have the right to do so.”

Silva tugged at Villa’s hand. “He was helping. Why do you hate so much to show your sensible side? It’s all right, you know. You don’t have to play the big bad wolf all day. I already know you’re a softie by now.”

Villa chuckled and pushed Silva into the nearest wall, whispering in his ear while gripping his waist. “Oh, my sweet and innocent Little Red Riding Hood... You don’t have any idea yet of how wrong you are but I’ll gladly show you when this nightmare is over and we’ve got time for... funnier things.”

Villa stopped touching him abruptly and Silva could feel the shivers running all over his body. His boyfriend sat on the bed, signaling for him to come over. Obedient as he was, Silva sat on Villa and hugged him tightly. 

“It’s all right. Everything is going to be all right.”

“I don’t want to lose you, neither one.”

 

Cristiano & Mesut: You Do Not Know Whom You’re Playing With. 

 

Cristiano was happily walking back to his room from a lonely practice when he felt a hand on his back. Turning swiftly, he was taken aback by what he saw. He sighed and rolled his eyes at the German’s boy presence. Couldn’t he take a hint? 

“Fuck off, I don’t have time for your threats.”

Mesut chuckled darkly. “Oh, but they are not just threats anymore.”

Cristiano saw red and, in a few seconds, had Mesut glued to the wall. “I swear if you’ve touched Fábio I’ll fucking kill you right there.”

Mesut laughed. “I would love to see you try but you can relax. Fábio is perfectly fine, for now.”

“What the hell do you want?”

Mesut handed Cristiano an envelope. “I believe you’ll get a phone call from your dad really soon.”

Cristiano opened it to find snapshots of him at football’s practice; running, laughing with the boys, chatting with the coaches... 

“I sent them two days ago, he should have them by now. I am sure he’ll be so happy to learn about his son’s disobedience.” 

Cristiano could feel his blood boiling. “You’re fucking sick.”

Mesut shrugged. “We shouldn’t even be angry at each other. After all, this is Fábio’s fault. If he only could see that I am much better for him... but he can’t and he’s been trying to break up with me. He forced me to this, Cristiano. Maybe it’s him you should be angry at. Sometimes I even think I am too good for him.”

Cristiano chuckled almost hysterically, shaking his head. “You wish.” 

Cristiano approached Mesut closer, fisted his hands into his clothes and whispered dangerously. “You’re not good enough for the fucking floor he walks on, do you get that? Put this into your head, Mesut: he will never love you.”

Cristiano could see the hate growing in Mesut and for once he was deeply enjoying it. “You can fuck up my football, you can fuck up my relationship with my father but Fábio loves me and I love him so you won’t fuck that up.”  
Mesut detached himself from Cristiano, sighing. “Fine, then you don’t leave me any other option. Since Fábio can’t seem to stay away from you, you’ll be the one to step away from him.”

Cristiano rolled his eyes, not believing how dense the younger boy was. “Have you heard anything of what I’ve just told you?”

“I think you’re misunderstanding me. I am not giving you any option here, Cristiano. You either stay away from Fábio or I’ll take him away from you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I told you once. If I can’t have him, nobody else will; certainly not you.”

“You’re a fucking psycho.”

Mesut chuckled. “You’ve been alerted now. You’ll go tell him you don’t want him; you will tell him how this was just another game you’ve won and nothing else. You never loved him and you never will.”

Cristiano looked up defiantly. “Or else, what?”

He wasn’t easily scared but the look in Mesut’s eyes was terrifying. “Or else I’ll hurt him. I’ll hurt him so bad you won’t even recognize him.”

Mesut left as Cristiano shook his head; how the hell had they got into that awful mess?

Sergio & Dr. Cantona: Love & Hate Are Not So Far From Each Other. 

“Do you like chocolate, Sergio?”

Sergio looked at the doctor, astonished. Were they playing mind games again?   
“Sure, why?”

“Close your eyes, please. Play along. Imagine a piece of chocolate; shiny, dark, full of promises. You can almost taste it seeing it; you can almost feel the crunch inside your mouth, the stickiness afterwards, the joy of the satisfied desire.”

The doctor’s game was working; his tone of voice, adapted to his message, was making Sergio salivate for a piece of chocolate that only existed in the realm of the imaginary. 

“You want it so bad and it’s there; in fact, you just have to extend your arm and get it. You’re already savoring it in your mind when, out of nowhere, a hand comes and snatch it out of you.”

Sergio, in something akin to a deep trance, frowned. He didn’t like where this was going.

“Now you can see the chocolate but you cannot touch it. What do you feel?”

“Anger and frustration.”

“What if the hand starts playing with the chocolate just in front of your eyes?”

“I’d snatch it and tear it into fucking pieces.”

“But you wanted that chocolate, didn’t you?”

“Yes but I can’t have it.”

“What would a person that only sees you destroying the chocolate think?”

Sergio shrugged. “I guess that I don’t like chocolate or something like that.”

“You can now open your eyes.”

“What was the point of that?”

“Sometimes, repressed desires are the ultimate cause for violent behavior.”

“But... why...”

Sergio’s voice dropped until it simply became silent as realization hit him like a wall of hard and angry bricks. So this is why he had picked on Mesut for years and why he had kissed him before violently kicking him? Could that be? 

 

Cristiano & Leo: One Problem Less, Ten New More. 

 

Leo entered his room smiling triumphantly. “I’ve got half of the money! My father didn’t even ask for what I wanted it... Fucking irresponsible twat.”

Cristiano smiled sadly from his bed while looking through the window. “I wonder what we would do if we were in Silva’s shoes. I’m not sure I’d be so worried about saving my dad’s life.”

Cristiano knew how much of a big fat lie that was but, still, he was really hurt at the moment. Leo finally realized that something wasn’t right and sat next to Cristiano on the bed.

“What happened?”

Cristiano sighed. “A fucking psycho happened.”

Leo frowned before understanding. “Blondie’s psycho?”

Cristiano nodded. “He took snap shots of me training and sent them to my dad.”

“I’m going to destroy him. Was it that bad?”

Cristiano shrugged. “I’m very disappointed in you”, “I can’t trust you”, “why do you fuck everything up when things are finally right” and “drop out of that team immediately”... The usual shit. 

Leo’s hand grasped Cristiano’s ankle and squeezed it tenderly. “At least we don’t have to worry about Silva’s dad anymore.”

“Why? We still need half of the money.”

Cristiano sighed. “I kind of blackmailed my father. I told him I would leave football for good only if he handed me that money. He didn’t ask any question either.”

Leo could feel his heart breaking and it was an extremely hard heart to break. “Cris, you shouldn’t have...”

Cristiano shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I have bigger problems right now.”

“What else?”

“He threatened me. I break up with Fábio for good or he’ll hurt him really bad.”

Leo snorted. “You’re not really considering it, are you?”

His best friend only shrugged; life seemed to have abandoned him. “He’s dangerous. I believe he would do it.”

“So your plan is to let Blondie with a psycho as a boyfriend? If he doesn’t hurt him now, he’ll hurt him later.”

“What do I do?”

Leo looked at his best friend deep in the eyes, nothing but sincerity in his own stare. “You go tell Blondie the truth then solve it together.”

Cristiano looked down, embarrassed. 

“Don’t fucking joke with me, Cris! Last time everything went to hell because you didn’t tell him the truth.”

Fábio’s words came back to Cristiano’s mind: you have to trust me from now on.

“Don’t make the same mistake twice.”

Cristiano left the bed abruptly and put a jersey on. “I need to think.”

“If you don’t tell him, I will!”

Leo’s words didn’t stop Cristiano from leaving the room. Sitting on his bed, he muttered to himself: “Fucking dads we have, fucking psychos... Fuck our lives.”

 

“It is dangerous to exist in the world. To exist is to be threatened. We must live with threats.”

Adam Levin, The Instructions


	28. Getting There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happens.

“Let me ask you one question  
Is your money that good  
Will it buy you forgiveness  
Do you think that it could  
I think you will find  
When your death takes its toll  
All the money you made  
Will never buy back your soul” 

Bob Dylan, The Bob Dylan Scrapbook: 1956-1966

 

Leo & Gareth: Not On The Same Page.

 

Leo sighed as Silva kept hugging him and repeating the word “Thanks” in his ear like a broken record. He appreciated the gratitude but the affection had now been going for at least five minutes and Leo was starting to lack air. He had boundaries; he wasn’t the most comfortable person when it came to any physical contact that implied truly sharing his personal space. Moreover, even being a good guy and all, he still had an image to protect. He pleaded Villa to take the boy away with his eyes but his so called friends, that bastard he had known since childhood, was having the time of his life seeing him struggle. He pushed Silva slightly, grateful for the kid finally getting the hit and do the rest. He had tears of joy rolling down his cheeks and he seemed incredibly younger all of a sudden; a young child on Christmas morning. 

“Do not forget to thank Cris, half of the money is his. Plus, he was the one to ask me the favor.”

Silva nodded fervently. He’d be forever grateful to those boys he had despised in the past. What they had done for him was not the kind of things you end up forgetting when times keeps its relentless parade. Villa smiled and took his boyfriend by his waist, urging him to go call his family and tell them the good news. The sooner they he does, the better for his father’s health. Silva laughed while taking his phone out of his pocket, losing himself in the long corridor where all of his friends stood. Ricardo, Wayne, Mesut, Álvaro, Fernando, Cesc & Fábio were all there, laughing and hugging each other. 

Gareth was the only exception but everybody was too lost in their frenzy to notice it; everybody but Leo, that is. He approached Gareth, smirking. 

“So, is this proof enough that I am not the scumbag you happen to believe I am?”

Gareth snorted and rolled his eyes. “This is exactly what I can’t stand about you.”

Leo frowned deeply; he was expecting many reactions from Gareth but not that one.   
“You can’t stand the fact that I just saved your friend’s father?”

“I can’t stand the fact that the only thing you’ve done is ask your daddy for money and he has given it to you. You’ve not even done it out of generosity but just to prove a point. Do you really think that would change my concept of you?”

Gareth brought his hand to Leo’s cheek and looked him deeply in the eye. “If anything, it reinforces it.”

As the younger boy disappeared down the corridor, Leo stood quiet for a while. He had been mesmerized by the intensity of the blue in Gareth’s eyes and, for a few seconds, he kept contemplating the impossible amalgam of green and blue in those orbs, wondering what adjective would adequately describe them. Gareth’s words finally got to him and Leo was forced to recognize something that unsettled him: they hurt. 

In the meanwhile, Fábio stood at the end of the corridor, shaking his head at Gareth. To be thankful is a gift of the well-born people, he thought. 

 

Sergio & Dr. Cantona: Nothing Is Solved. 

 

Sergio kept gazing at the impressive landscape that engulfed the center. If he stared long enough, he’d feel as if he was part of the mountains in front of him instead of belonging to the greyish building behind. Dr. Cantona sat next to him and Sergio realized for the first time how lucky he was; he could have been sent to worst places, ruled by more orthodox and worst doctors. 

“It’s been a tough week, right Sergio?”

The teenager snorted, a soft smile on his face. “That’s the understatement of the year.”

Dr. Cantona nodded. “You’ve been very brave, you should know that.”

Sergio shrugged. “I don’t think I had a choice anymore.”

“Believe me, you had. We always have a choice and you made the best one.”

“I can’t believe all the violence came from not confronting emotions.”

“It would surprise you how many things come from not confronting emotions. Food disorders, alcoholism, drug addiction... We’re not educated to work through our emotions. It’s a complex matter.”

Sergio nodded, conscious of seeing just a few trees of an immense forest; a forest he was, as everyone else in a certain way, lost in. 

“What do I do now?”

Dr. Cantona smiled. “You’ll be released tomorrow. You’ll go back to the school.”

“Then afterwards?”

“Afterwards, you live. You’re seventeen, what else would you want to do Sergio?”

“What if the violence comes back?”

“You’ve learned a lot about yourself, Sergio. You have a tendency to violence, one you won’t be able to eliminate. It’s part of who you are.”

“Amazing.”

“Sergio, it’s part of who you are but it’s not who you are. You just have to learn to control it, to work through it.”

“It’s an everyday battle, isn’t it? Everyday, forever.”

Dr. Cantona smile proudly and put his arm around his patient’s arms. “That’s what life is, Sergio. A battle, everyday, forever. You’re strong enough, you’ll come out on top of it. I trust you.”

Sergio smiled, grateful. He’ll come out on top of it. At least, he’d fight for it.

 

Fábio & Gareth: Not Fair To Be Unfair. 

Fábio closed the door behind him and stood in the middle of their room, staring at Gareth. His best friend had tried to ignore him but he ended up craving in, not able to stand the intense and constant gaze. 

“What?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

Gareth sighed, dropped his football ball, and sat up straight on his bed. “You’re the one staring. I though I wasn’t your type?”

Fábio rolled his eyes at Gareth’s’ attempt at humor and sat next to him. 

“Never, in a million years, I would have thought to say this seriously but you’ve been unfair to him. And you know it.”

“I do not agree.”

“Gareth, he’s half of Silva’s dad’s surgery -a life saving surgery- without asking for anything in return.”

Bale snorted and laughed. “Do you really believe that? My ass without asking for anything in return! He wanted my respect. He wanted to buy my respect. It is damn time those kids learn that not everything can be obtained through money.”

Fábio sighed and dropped his hand on Gareth’s leg. “Look, I get where you’re coming from but the fact is that he asked for that money and decided to give it to Silva instead of buying some stupid shit with it.”

Gareth looked aside, hating to know his best friend was right. 

“You have to cut him some slack. He is trying, all right? I believe he truly wants to earn your respect but he just doesn’t know how.”

“What do you mean?”

“In his world, everything is solved through money. That’s all he has ever known. I don’t think his intentions are bad; he’s just really shit at this.”

Gareth sighed. “Maybe I have slightly exaggerated.”

Fábio smiled and hugged his friend. “Yeah, slightly.”

 

David & Villa: Everything Is Going To Work Out Just Fine. 

 

Villa couldn’t wipe the smile from his face as he entered his room. It soon vanished, though, seeing Silva sitting on his bed with sadness written all over his face. He rushed to the boy and took his face between his hands.

“Is something wrong with your dad? Silva!”  
The younger boy shook his head, sighing. 

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. The surgery has already been schedule.”

Villa frowned, confused. “But those are great news, aren’t they?”

Silva nodded. “Sure.”

Villa sighed and sat next to his boyfriend, hugging him by the waist. “Then why do you look as sad as you were yesterday?”

“What if it something goes wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been so busy thinking about the money that the possibility of the surgery going wrong never came to me.”

Realization hit Villa and he buried his face in his lover’s neck. 

“It could go wrong. What if it goes wrong?”

“It won’t”, he whispered. 

“How do you know?”

Villa took Silva’s hand and guided it to his stomach. “I just do. I feel it here. Everything is going to work out just fine.”

 

Cristiano & Fábio: We Need To Talk. 

 

As soon as he got into the room, Fábio gripped Cristiano’s waist tightly and brought him against the wall before kissing him senseless. Even though his boyfriend had been surprised, he could feel the little smile forming on his lips as he kissed back as fervently. 

“To what do I owe so much love?”

Fábio pecked Cristiano’s lips one last time before sitting on his boyfriend’s bed. 

“How did you got the money?”

Cristiano sighed and sat next to his boyfriend. “I got it from my father. He just asked me to give up football in exchange.”

Fábio frowned. “I thought your father didn’t know you had gone back to playing football?”

Cristiano bite his lip before shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters! You gave up something you love.”

Cristiano couldn’t stand the look in Fábio’s eyes any longer; he could only read pure adoration, love, admiration even in his brown orbs and it was unbearable. He could feel his heart warming and tightening at the sight. He shook his head, refusing to look his love’s eyes any longer. 

“There are more important things to deal with right now. Fábio, we need to talk.”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

Cristiano swallowed and thought that is was then or never. “I’ve got something to tell you.”

 

Gareth & Leo: Making Amends. 

 

Gareth found Leo outside, sitting on the grass, admiring the greenest pitch the human being could conceive. He was tempted to go back and forget about the whole thing but he’d have to face Fábio at some point and he knew for a fact the boy wouldn’t leave him alone. Plus, he had not been educated to back up from the things he needed to do. It was only fair, he thought. He took a deep breath and strolled down the grass until reaching Leo, sitting next to him. The older boy shot him a surprised look and gazed at the pitch once again. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke. 

“Your opinion about me is clear enough, you know? You don’t have to spend time with a jerk like me.”

Gareth sighed; Leo wasn’t making it any easier. “Thank you.”

Leo’s head shot up, looking at Gareth questioningly. “For what?”

The boy snorted, not believing how dense Messi could be. “For the fairy dust you led me... For Silva’s dad’s surgery! For what else?”

Leo nodded, kicking himself mentally at his stupidity. “I thought you weren’t happy about that?”

Gareth exhaled and closed his eyes. “It’s just... It would be easier, you know?”

Leo was starting to doubt his intellectual abilities because no, he didn’t know. Gareth must have picked up up his confusion because he kept going. 

“It would be easier if you were a complete jerk and things were black and white. It would just be easier but it’s not the case, is it? You’re more complex than that. I’m more complexes than that. We all are somehow.”

Leo nodded with his head, not sure of what to say. 

“Anyway, you did something good and I shouldn’t have given you shit because of it. So, thank you Leo.”

Messi shrugged, not able to grasp how that damn boy always ended up taking him by surprise. “You’re welcome, I guess.”

Gareth nodded, gazing into the horizon. 

“So, I am not the worst human being ever?”

Gareth grinned. “You’re still not my favorite either.”

Leo smirked; that boyish grin will be the death of me, he thought.

 

Fábio & Mesut: Playing The Game. 

 

Mesut knocked on Fábio’s door and awaited patiently for an answer. After a few minutes, the blonde finally opened the door, not bothering to close it afterwards. Mesut was intently taken aback by the sadness etched on his sculpted features. He brought his hands to his face and Fábio couldn’t help the shiver that went through him at the contact. 

“What’s wrong?”

Fábio shook his head and sat on the bed. Mesut sighed and sat next to him. “You’ve been so distant lately.”  
“I know, I am sorry. Will you forgive me?”

Mesut watched Fábio with surprise, smiling slightly at the tenderness in the blonde’s voice. “Of course, baby. You know I love you.”

Fábio nodded. “I know.”

“It’s Cristiano, isn’t?”

Mesut could barely hide the hope in his voice; had Cristiano gone through with the plan?

Fábio shrugged. “What about Cristiano?”

“I know it’s been hard for you, Fábio. I know you’ve still got feelings for him. Have you realized yet he’s not the right one for you?”

Fábio’s eyes hardened instantly, his voice quivering when answering. “Yeah, it’s hard not to realize it.”

Mesut sighed, feigning sadness, and took Fábio’s hands in his own. “It’s okay if he doesn’t care, baby. I do care for real. I love you for real, more than he ever would.”

Mesut hugged Fábio tightly and the blonde nodded into his boyfriend’s shoulder. Looking up, he could see Cristiano at the door smiling weakly at him and nodding. As painful as it was to watch, he had played his part well. Fábio couldn’t help the burning desire to be into Cristiano’s arms instead of Mesut’s. Soon, he thought, soon. 

 

For me, when I go to bed at night, I am happy that I haven't hurt someone. And if I think I have, I will rectify it. I now refuse to give someone permission to make me feel bad about myself. They can't make me feel bad about myself if I don't allow it.

Lucy Davis


	29. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some deep conversations ahead!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably be this year's last update so I tried to make it extra nice for you! 
> 
> You are definitely one of my year's good points!
> 
> Finish off 2014 with a smile on the face and enjoy 2015! Let this be the year you've always wanted to have :)
> 
> Love,
> 
> Clementines.

“I’ve never been the one. Not for anybody.”  
He closed the distance between them.  
“You’ll get used to it.” He tipped her face up to his, kissed her.  
“Why? Why am I the one?”  
“Because my life opened up, and it flooded with color when you walked back into it.” 

 

Nora Roberts, Vision in White

 

Fábio & Gareth: Deep Conversations at 2. Am. 

 

It’s 2. Am and they should be asleep long ago but it’s Saturday and neither of them cares. Fábio and Gareth are lying on the grass with no other activity than to gaze into the stars. The blonde is smoking slowly and he kind of expects Gareth to reprimand him about it like he always does but for once he doesn’t, opting for a simple roll of the eyes followed by a mysterious smile. Their arms are behind their heads, acting like an emergency cushion, and their bodies brush each other as to remind themselves that they are here together, there for one another. They hadn’t needed words to know they deserved a little time for themselves without any drama, boyfriends, potential boyfriends, enemies or psychos of any kind. Fábio wants to tell Gareth about Mesut but he remembers Cristiano’s words –the less people knowing it, the better and, anyway, he doesn’t want to spoil the moment with his soap opera problems. After all, if he had one stable relationship in that school, it was with Gareth.

“It’s nice to be here, watching the night sky.”

Gareth’s voice breaks the peaceful silence, almost slumber already, and Fábio nods at him. 

“It’s great to do something for nothing, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

Gareth smirks and blushes slightly, not used to the kind of conversation he’s about to start.

“We’re always doing things for something; study this to get a good job, be kind to him to enter that party, go to the gym so you can actually survive Mourinho’s training...”

Fábio has to smirk at the last one and he surprises himself by laughing under his breath, something he had kind of forgotten how to do lately. 

“But this, watching the stars... There’s no ulterior motive. This won’t get us anywhere. It’s just what it is; a real moment worthy just because of itself. Am I rambling?”

Fábio smiles and shakes his head, exhaling dark smoke into the atmosphere. 

“It’s like playing. When you’re a kid and you play, you’re only doing it for the sake of it. Football was like that too until it became the key to a scholarship.”

“Yeah, I used to like playing football.”

Fábio takes the cigarette out of his mouth and turns to Gareth, a frown on his strange face. 

“Don’t you like it anymore?”

Gareth shrugs, suddenly feeling the itch to steal Fábio’s cigarette so he can have an excuse not to talk, even though he has never smoke. 

“Sure, I do but not like before. It’s just not the same. There is so much pressure, man. In the end, even if you’re an ace in everything else, you have to perform on that field or you’re sent back home.”

“Would that be so horrible?”

Fábio wants to take the words back the moment they’re out but that’s physically impossible to do. He doesn’t want to say it aloud because this school has kind of saved his life; he’s got a roof on his head, food everyday, friends, a team, Cristiano and what amazes him the most: an actual opportunity at that weird thing they call life and yet, sometimes, he kind of wishes to be back home. He can’t really bring himself to explain why; it’s not like a wonderful life and a family are waiting for him there but he just kind of do. Maybe it’s because things were simpler there, safer; maybe it’s only because he wasn’t so confused about who he was at home. Gareth smiles, biting his lip, and Fábio knows –without the need of further words- that he’s not the only one to feel the way he feels.

“It’s just not an option. Too many people to disappoint.”

Fábio’s laugh startles Gareth because it’s one of the real ones; the kind of laugh you can’t control and just flies freely from your soul into the air. 

“Sometimes I wonder how many things we do for ourselves and how many for other people.”

“What do you mean?”

“You already know what I mean.”

Fábio then starts feigning other people’s voices, adult voices. 

“You can’t not take this chance!”; “You have to do it, it’s your future!”; “Don’t be an idiot. It may not come back”; “There’s nothing to discuss; you can’t turn down an offer like that.”

Gareth is looking at him intently, the thirst to know buried deep into his blue orbs. 

“But what if you don’t want that chance? What if you don’t want that life? It’s not about getting the best life possible. It’s about getting the one that suits you the best and yet we take every chance that comes our way because what else would we do?”

“Sometimes I wake up and feel the impossibility to live any longer. Once this is over, what then? It’s like I can’t bring myself to imagine getting a future so one day, when this is over, I’ll just die because I won’t know what the fuck to do on the morning afterwards anyway.”

The depth of the secrets he’s sharing terrifies Gareth but Fábio’s hand is fast to reassure him: it’s okay to let it out; it’s okay.

“I know what you mean but you’ll wake up the morning afterwards because you’re not going to die in many, many decades. You’ll wake up and keep on living until you get a future of some kind.”

“I wish I could be one of those people who have it all figured out. It would be easier.”

Fábio laughs again and Gareth is starting to worry about his mental health. “I don’t believe in those people; they are a myth. Life is a machine whose instructions you only get to read after you’ve tried to make it work. Always one step behind, that’s the rule.”

“It looks fucked up.”

“It is but at least we’re two fucked ups who’ve got each other and that’s already more than most of people can say.”

Gareth takes Fábio’s hand in his bigger one and squeezes slightly because he’s right; two is not always better than one, two is the only way. 

 

Cristiano & Leo: How Did You Know?

“How did you know?”

Cristiano looks up from his algebra book tiredly at Leo’s question and moans at him because he doesn’t have the time nor the will to play a guessing game; it’s too late, he hasn’t finished this stupid homework yet, he’s depressed at the idea of spending his Saturday night on Algebra and Mesut won’t leave his mind for a minute so when Leo asks a question as cryptic as a Clued clue, he’s had enough.

“How did I know what exactly?”

Leo keeps staring at the wall, his history book long forgotten besides him. His eyes are bright and there is a nervous twitch in his upper lip like he can’t wait anymore for this conversation but he wants to have it anyway. 

“That Fábio was different. How did you know?”

Cristiano deposits his book of algebra on the bed because Leo hasn’t called Fábio by his name in the longest time so he knows this is serious. He takes a deep breath as he puts his hands on his stomach; seeking the relaxation he needs so much. 

“I knew it right away.”

“Liar, you couldn’t stand him in the beginning.”

Cristiano smirks and bites his lip in a guilty fashion.

“I met him in a corridor, he was looking for his class room and when we touched, I felt it. I know it sounds cheesy, but I did. Of course, I didn’t know what the feeling was at the time but I felt it.”

“You never told me that.”

“I don’t always tell you everything, Leo.”

Leo looks at Cristiano from his bed and for a moment he wants to be mad because they both know he’s lying. Cristiano has always told Leo everything, from his family problems to every single one of his conquests –and the list was long- he had ever had. Cristiano still tells Leo everything Leo, just silencing certain ones that have to do with Fábio and Leo knows that’s how things are supposed to be; Cristiano doesn’t want to entirely share Fábio, not even with him. 

“What does he make you feel?”

“It’s hard to explain. Sometimes I don’t even know what he makes me feel exactly. I guess it’s like... It’s like rain in a desert, you know?”

Leo wants to roll his eyes at Cristiano because that line seems to come straightly from a cheesy love song but he keeps it to himself because he needs his best friend to keep going.

“Before him, I didn’t really know what was left for me. I mean, I could picture my life already: we’d all keep partying, having a savage youth until we’d marry some bird classy enough and pick up our dads’ businesses where they left it.”

“Was that a bad thing?”

Cristiano shrugs and frowns, thinking harder.

“I don’t think so but it wasn’t really my life; it was just the one they had mapped out for me.”

“What did he change?”

“He changed everything. He appeared in the middle of a world of certainties and questioned every one of them. Suddenly, there was a whole world of possibilities I had never dreamed about. He makes me feel like I can be whomever I choose to be. With him, what I am supposed to be is not enough; he only takes what I am, nothing less.”

Leo nods and starts thinking about how much a year can change a person’s life; at the same time, months ago, they would have been partying with meaningless fucks and friends they didn’t really know that much. 

“Sometimes I hated him for it.”

“Huh?”

Leo is surprised because he thought Cristiano was finished with his speech and looks at him expectantly because a declaration like the one he made is rare. 

“I may have been imprisoned in a life that wasn’t mine but it was a very safe place to be. I had everything I needed then he came and fucked everything up. He made things so much harder and unstable. It’s not always easy and there have been times I’ve wished he’d leave and never come back. There have been times I’ve wished to get exactly what I had before Fábio.”

Leo nods because he definitely recognizes himself in Cristiano’s words and it is scaring him shitless. The next question is asked in a trembling voice: 

“Would you? If you really could go back to before Fábio, would you?”

Cristiano’s chuckle comes from deep within his heart and they both end up smiling because they don’t really know how they got there.

“Not in a million years, Leo. Is it hard? Sure, sometimes it really is but is it worth it? God, yes it is. Nothing’s been worthier than Fábio ever. I guess everything that is great demands a bigger risk and the danger that comes along with it.”

No word is exchanged after that because they both know everything they need to know. They both know that Leo doesn’t have to deal only with growing a conscience but also with falling stupidly in love with someone whose only breathing can already be hurtful. They both know he is nowhere prepared for it and it scares him deeply because if there is one thing Leo Messi can’t stand is the lack of control. That’s why, still in silence, Cristiano stands up and takes a place in Leo’s bed, holding him tightly through the sleep he can’t really conceal. He doesn’t let go one second and Leo couldn’t be more grateful for it. 

 

The Miracle Of The Year

They are all standing in the waiting room of a hospital, expecting some news. In the end, Cristiano’s father had asked a good friend –one of the best surgeons of the continent- to take care of Silva’s father. The man had been transferred to a hospital near the school his son attended and all of his family had been generously brought with him. All of it had been paid by Cristiano’s dad and he has to admit that, knowing his father, things could have gone worse after the photos Mesut sent. 

Silva is surrounded by his family –two kids, a boy and a girl, with a hopeless mother- while the boys –almost all of them- are sitting a few meters away trying to support their school companion. Villa is finding it very hard to sit still instead of running to Silva and lending him a shoulder to wait on but the day is complicated enough and no revelations about the nature of their relationship is allowed. Leo is nervously moving his feet and Cristiano really wants to tell him to stop but he doesn’t feel morally authorized so he simply sighs, watching amused the insistent glances Leo is stealing at Gareth every five seconds. The younger boy is totally oblivious and Cristiano wants to laugh at how worked up Leo gets because his other option to pass the time is looking at Fábio and the blonde is currently being hold by Mesut. It’s a scene Cristiano doesn’t really want to see. He sighs and lets his mind wander back to his last conversation with Fábio, one he was sincerely starting to regret. 

“What is so important?”

Cristiano bites his lips and shakes his head, knowing he’s got no other choice left.

“Remember when you told me I had to trust you?”

Fábio nodded eagerly, tightening his grip on his love’s hands. 

“I need you to trust me on this one, okay?”

The blonde nods again, getting more confused every second that passes by. 

“Mesut was the one to send the photos to my dad and he wants to hurt you, Fáb. I break up with you and make you hate me or he’ll hurt you real bad.”

The moment the words leave his mouth Fábio is already jumping apart from him, anger distorting his beautiful face. 

“He did what?! I’m going to kill him with my bare hands.”

It’s like Fábio hasn’t even heard the last part of Cristiano’s confession. 

“Fábio, that’s not the most important part.”

“Of course it is! He can’t take away from you what you love the most!”

“Exactly, that’s why I’m saying this to you so we can find a way out and I don’t have to lose what I love the most, one way or another.”

It takes a few seconds but realization finally hits Fábio and he can’t help the stupid arrhythmia his heart is giving him when Cristiano talks as if he loved him more than football itself. Cristiano blushes at the confession, one he hadn’t prepared to make, and takes Fábio’s hand bringing him back to the bed. 

“He is really dangerous. He’ll do it, Fáb.”

“And what do you suggest?”

Cristiano shrugs, making it clear that he absolutely hates what he’s about to propose but he can’t really do anything else. 

“A break up, even if it’s a false one.”

“Fuck you, Cristiano!”

The snarl freezes Cristiano’s blood and he looks up to discover a black anger on Fábio’s face he has never seen before. The blonde gets up and clenches his fists at his sides, venom practically dripping from his silence. 

“Do you really think I’m going to let a stupid psychopath direct my life? This is not a freaking movie and I am not an actor! Nobody rules me through threats.”

There are so many things swimming in Fábio’s usually warm eyes that Cristiano can’t really pick any of them apart. He’s sure it has to do with Fábio’s past but he doesn’t know exactly how and he doesn’t even try because a false movement right now could make the blonde explode. 

“I am the master of my destiny, even if it’s shit and no one is going to take that away from me. I love you, I want to be with you and he won’t take that choice away from me. He won’t take you away from me.”

Cristiano blushes again at the sheer determination on Fábio’s face and every one of his words. It will always surprise him how Fábio can go from being warm and sweet to strong and dangerous but, judging by the shiver that runs through his spine, he definitely likes it. 

“But I should let him take you away from me? We have to be smart about this, Fáb. Please, let’s be smart about this.”

Fábio’s breath is ragged but Cristiano reaches his wrist and starts drawing circles on it, hoping his motions would calm the boy. It ends up working and Fábio looks at him with less violence in the eyes. 

“What do you propose then? And give me something I can work with.”

“For now, we have to make him believe he’s won. It will keep you safe for a few days. He’s highly unstable right now; he needs to calm down. We don’t want him pulling a Sergio onto you.”

“I could defend myself”, Cristiano hears Fábio mumbling and –although he doesn’t doubt it-, he doesn’t want to verify the hypothesis. 

“Then what?”

“Then we corner him and make him confront the truth; all of his lies, his manipulations, everything. He’ll break down and hopefully someone will know what to do with him.”

“You’re being very optimistic, Cris.”

“What do you mean?”

“What if he doesn’t break down?”

“He will. We just need to buy ourselves a bit of time.”

Fábio ends up nodding and he hugs Cristiano tightly, cursing the day he decided to talk to Mesut for the first time. 

His thoughts are soon interrupted when the surgeon demands to talk to Silva’s family and he prays –like everyone else in that room- that they finally receive some good news. Although the boys can’t hear the conversation, they don’t really need to. Silva and his family are soon celebrating, hugging tightly the surgeon who doesn’t really know what to do with his body and the boys are all getting up. Soon enough, the only thing remaining is a mix of limbs gripping each other in signal of victory. They don’t really know how they have come so far in so little time but they have to admit, as they embrace each other, that it feels nice; now that they’re together, almost a team they think even though nobody wants to admit it, they feel stronger. 

 

Leo & Gareth: Midnight Conversations

Gareth is playing with a ball in the middle of the field and it’s past midnight. Everyone has gone to bed, hammered by the tension of the day, but his body would simply not fall asleep so he’s gone out into the fresh air hoping it would clear his ideas. He was enjoying his loneliness when a voice, one he was starting to know too well for his liking, ruined it all. 

“Do you know most suicides happen at night? There is a legend that says that at 3 a.m. we see everything clearer and that’s why it happens.”

Gareth turns around to look at Leo because that has to be the creepiest thing he has ever been told past midnight. The older boy shakes his head and blushes; unable to believe he has said just that. It’s not his fault though, he simply loses control of himself when he’s near Bale and it’s the most embarrassing thing ever. 

“Are you going to commit suicide?”

“Of course not!”

“Well, neither I am so you can go back to bed now.”

And he really should come back to bed before he makes a bigger ridicule but his rational side, his best side, isn’t working really well lately. 

“I could use some company.”

Gareth wants to tell him to fuck off and go find someone else’s company, someone who in fact wants it but he’s too tired to put up a fight so he simply sighs, rolls his shoulders and keep on dribbling with the ball. Leo smiles a little at the silent acceptance because even if it’s punctuated with mumblings and whispered cursing, it’s there and he knows that if Gareth did really not want him there, he wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

“Silva’s dad is going to be fine.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

Gareth keeps his sight exclusively on the ball, totally ignoring Leo. 

“Have you ever thought what would happen if you died?”

This time Bale lets the ball roll away from him because that question, after the wonderful information about the preferred timing for suicide, is starting to be too much for him to take in. 

“What is it with you and death tonight?”

“Sorry, it just made me think.”

Gareth sighs and, knowing he doesn’t have any other choice, ends up sitting next to Leo and accepts his fate which is to have a conversation with Leo Messi, past midnight, on the football field. 

“About what?”

“Sometimes, I see chances. I mean, I don’t really see them but I can have an intuition about them being there and, most of the time, I just let them pass by as if they will be more of them and lately I’m starting to realize that it won’t always be like that.”

Gareth is now looking at Leo a little bit more interested, waiting for the rest of the speech. 

“I thought that with my family’s money and power I’d have as many chances as I want but that’s not true.”

“You won’t die anytime soon, Leo.”

“It’s not about dying. It’s about the chance to become a different person and not to; the chance to see a new world but to choose the one you already know; the chance to question everything and prefer the answers you already have.”

Bale is now staring at Leo as if it was the first time he had ever seen him because he did, in fact, see things in his eyes he had never seen before. He sees fear, hope, a little bit of despair and a longing for something he doesn’t dare to get.

“Sometimes I feel okay with letting them slip through my fingers but others I just feel that I’m making my life ordinary when I could make it extraordinary. Sometimes, I’d just like to take a chance even if it backfires terribly against me afterwards but I just can’t seem to do it.”

Leo laughs hopelessly and shakes his head. 

“Am I making any sense?”

Gareth only nods, not ready to say anything back just yet. His hand, however, does find a way to Leo’s neck and gives it a squeeze; the squeeze of a boy who wants to say something but doesn’t really know how yet. 

As he feels the younger’s fingers on his neck, Leo can’t help but wonder. Why is it that when you start paying attention to someone, that person is everywhere? A few weeks ago, he never found Gareth Bale on his way –or maybe he did and never looked back twice- and today here they were, sitting together on the football field past midnight, Gareth’s hand behind his neck and suddenly he understood Cristiano. He didn’t know what on earth he and Gareth were or would one day come to be, he didn’t know what the hell they were exactly doing at the moment but he knew that the things he had just told the younger boy were impossible to tell to anyone else, even Cristiano. 

 

Mesut & Sergio: Been There, Done That. Let Me Tell You Beforehand: It Just Doesn’t Work. 

 

He is studying in silence when he feels a presence behind him. He turns around and rolls his eyes when he recognizes Sergio. It’s funny how things work; a few months ago he would have been terrified, now he simply finds it extremely boring. 

“You should take a photography of my back. It lasts longer.”

Sergio pulls off the chair next to him and sits without asking for permission. 

“You’re getting sillier by the minute.”

Mesut snorts, closes his book and turns around to face Sergio smirking the whole way. 

“And how would you know? You don’t know me, Sergio. You’ve never known me.”

“If this is what there was to know, it may be a good thing.”

Mesut snorts and laughs, putting a hand on his heart. “That’s touching. I almost feel the irresistible need to change! Fuck off already.”  
It’s Sergio’s turn to smirk and, for a second, he scares himself. It is absolutely terrifying how easily his violent and shady self can come back to the surface effortlessly but right now it’s the only self that can handle the situation. 

“What are you trying to do, Mesut?”

“This is about love, you wouldn’t understand it.”

“My ass it’s about love. This isn’t about Fábio or Cristiano; this is about you. What are you trying to run away from? What do you think you’ll obtain?”

“You don’t know what you are talking about.”

Sergio chuckles so hard he thinks something’s going to break inside him but it doesn’t. 

“I understand more than you do. I understand that you can’t force someone to love you, Mesut. You may be able to force them to stay but never to love you. I understand that, no matter how far away from yourself you run, it always catches back. I understand that the only way through the shit you’re so deep into is to confront it.”

He can see Mesut shattering on the inside even if he keeps up the brave face. He can see it because he’s been there before. 

“You’re wrong.”

“Already been there, done that. Let me tell you beforehand: it’s doesn’t work. Stop it before it gets worst, Mesut; leave Fábio and Cristiano be and confront a mirror.”

“Stop it! Why the hell do you care? This is your fucking fault in the first place!”

Sergio wants to yell back and deny it; he’s not the one blackmailing Cristiano, he’s not the one who’s ready to destroy Fábio because he won’t love him back. Mesut is the only responsible for that. He wants to say it but he doesn’t because, deep down, he knows that’s just partially true. Mesut may be the one pulling the trigger but Sergio is definitely the one to have handled him the gun. You can’t fuck up someone’s head for years and expect it to stay perfectly sane. It just doesn’t happen. You don’t become the hangman without having been the victim. So he takes a deep breath and answers. 

“Exactly, that’s why I care. You wouldn’t have got to this point without me and you won’t fall without me there to catch you.”

Then he leaves an angry and petrified Mesut behind him because, for the moment, there’s nothing else he can do. 

 

Cristiano & Fábio: I Just Can’t Stop Thinking About You. 

 

Cristiano doesn’t hear the creak of the door when it opens because he’s too tired for it. It must be Leo, he thinks, since his best friend had mysteriously left the room after shuffling endlessly and noisily in his bed. That’s why he almost lets out a yelp when a pair of long arms grips his waist. He almost lets out a yelp but he sees a lot of disheveled blond hair just in time. 

“What are you doing here?”

His voice is sleepy because he hasn’t totally wakened up yet and he’s finding it hard to move in order to adjust to the guest in his bed although he’s very happy to oblige. Fábio blushes and bites his lips before looking him in the eyes. 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It’s as stupid as that.”

Cristiano tightens his hold on Fábio and sighs happily into his hair. 

“That’s not stupid. It happens to me all the time.”

“To not stop thinking about yourself? Yeah, we all know that honey.”

Cristiano smacks Fábio’s shoulder lightly but it doesn’t stop the smirk eating the blonde’s face. 

“When I take a break from thinking about my awesome self, I think about you. It doesn’t last more than five minutes a day but, hey, it happens!”

Fábio’s face is soon busy with his neck and Cristiano can’t help the not so manly noise that escapes his throat. 

“You shouldn’t be here.”

As he says it, he pampers Fábio’s hair with dozen of light kisses and looses any credibility. 

“It’s the only time where we’re safe. It’s not like he’s going to barge into your room.”

Cristiano snorts before caressing Fábio’s head. “It wouldn’t surprise me that much.”

Fábio nuzzles his neck with his nose and whispers: “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“Let me stay here?”

Fábio asks the question with an irresistible boyish voice and Cristiano can only look at him with stars in his eyes. 

“You’re staying here, in my arms, forever.”

Fábio is already half asleep but still manages to say: “Forever sounds good to me.”

 

“The Universe is very, very big.  
It also loves a paradox. For example, it has some extremely strict rules.  
Rule number one: Nothing lasts forever.  
Not you or your family or your house or your planet or the sun. It is an absolute rule. Therefore when someone says that their love will never die, it means that their love is not real, for everything that is real dies. 

Rule number two: Everything lasts forever.” 

Craig Ferguson, Between the Bridge and the River

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll leave you with this speech taken from the film New Year's Eve because it's worth for read :)
> 
> "It's suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the new year, to stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. To remember both our triumphs and our missteps, our promises made and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures or closed ourselves down for fear of getting hurt coz that is what new years is all about- getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about what if and start embracing what would be. So when that ball drops at midnight and it will drop, let's remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight but all year long."
> 
> See you next year <3


	30. Endings & Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After this one, three chapters to go before closing Part 1. So please, do comment and tell me how do you see things evolving during those three…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JE SUIS CHARLIE

“A man is like a novel: until the very last page you don't know how it will end. Otherwise it wouldn't be worth reading.” 

Yevgeny Zamyatin, We

 

Leo & Neymar: Emotional Cripple. 

 

Neymar was slowly walking through the corridors, lazily looking through the windows, waiting for summer days that were on their way. He had always found something marvelous in those days prior to the holydays, sweetly boring and dully exciting; days that were only made to get to other days, more meaningful days. A sitting Leo shook him out of his reverie and he sighed; the older boy was looking at the other end of the corridor where Gareth Bale stood, next to his friends, absolutely oblivious to Leo’s existence. Messi hands were sweaty and Neymar found the scene almost cute, almost because “cute” had never been a word to use when it came to Leo Messi. He sat next to his now forgotten lover and waited for him to start talking. Soon enough Leo’s head shot up and he stared at Neymar as a deer caught by a car’s lights in the middle of the road. 

“What are you looking at, moron?”

Neymar laughed slightly because Leo had never been able to handle feelings, vulnerability or anything along those lines so he would always attack in a situation of fragility. A few months sooner, Neymar would have believed Leo’s arrogant pose but now he knew better; he understood he was sitting next to a kid who didn’t know how to express feelings or even deal with them and his barking was not a sign of strength but, on the contrary, a confession of extreme weakness. 

“Why don’t you go and talk to him? You’ve never been shy around people.”

Leo wanted to answer back but he couldn’t because Neymar was right; he had never been shy around people, his natural authority and position of power allowing him to move through the world without a care. Gareth was an exception to the rule and he did not know what to do with exceptions. He was still looking for a comeback when realization drew itself on Neymar’s face and a smile graced his features. Leo wanted to be mad at that smile but, as much as he looked for it, he couldn’t find anything but infinite tenderness in it. He could feel himself reddening at the thought because Leo Messi didn’t do tenderness and he was getting extremely tired of all this shit. He sighed and rolled his eyes; life was better without a conscience, life was better when it was just he and Cris and the rest of the world could go fuck itself for all he cared. 

“You care, that’s why you can’t be around him.”

“I say stupid things, okay? When I’m around him I can’t seem to control my mouth. I start talking shit about things nobody would talk about and doing stupidities until I’m so utterly humiliated that I swear to myself I’ll never talk to him again.”

“Leo, have you thought that maybe it’s because you feel free to be yourself around him?”

“Huh?”

Neymar sighed and looked at Leo with the patience of a math teacher delivering the first class of algebra to a kid. 

“Maybe you say and do stupid things because you don’t have to filter your thoughts around him. You’re not playing a role; you’re yourself and unexpected things come out.”

“Fuck my life.” Mumbled Leo, having the impression to have gone through an accelerated course of human psychology during the last month. 

“Have you trying being his friend?”

“Why would I do that?”

Neymar shrugged. “It’s kind of hard going from –I hate your guts- to –Let’s date- so maybe being friends could be an interesting intermediary situation.”

Leo put on his best mask of indignation. “I don’t want to date him!”

And Neymar rolled his eyes because, really, how much in denial could that boy be?

“Whatever, just become friends with him. It doesn’t have to be this hard.”

“What if I say stupid things again?”

Leo’s voice came out so tiny that Neymar couldn’t help the need to hug him that crept into him. He simply threw his arm around Leo’s shoulders before whispering: “It’s okay, Leo. You’re allowed to say stupid things around friends.”

 

Mesut & Fábio: Tired of the Game. 

 

Fábio looked up when the door to his room opened and sighed seeing it was Mesut. It didn’t take him more than a second to recognize the feeling contained in the look on the German’s face; it was hate. He left his philosophy book on the bed and stared at him.

“What’s the matter?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Mesut’s voice sent a shiver down Fábio’s spine because he had never been able to stand shouting; violence –whether physical or verbal- had never settled well with him. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you think I am stupid, Fábio? Is that it?”

Mesut started approaching him, a mad look on his face, and Fábio forced himself to not let his fear win over. 

“I’d appreciate it if you explained clearly what this outburst is about.”

“Cristiano! Who else?”

“What has Cristiano to do with anything?”

Mesut’s laugh echoed in the room with an evil tone to it that would have frozen anybody’s blood. Discreetly, Fábio put his phone out of under his pillow and typed a quick text message before sending it to Cristiano: My room. Now.

“Even Sergio knows. “He will never love you! He loves Cristiano!” Even fucking Sergio knows!”

“You’re talking to Sergio now?”

“You’re missing the point. Do you really think I don’t know you’re going to him behind my back? Do you really think I don’t know where you spent last night?”

“Did you follow me?”

The initial fear on Fábio’s face had now been replaced by a rage he was not sure to be able to control. 

“You’re mine. I’m allowed to.”

“You’re fucking sick.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re fucking sick! I am not yours. I am mine! Do you hear me? I’m the only person to whom I belong and what you do is harassment.”

“That’s not true.”

“You’re not better than Sergio was! Look at you! I try to give you enough confidence for you to confront him and what do you do? You turn into him!”

Mesut was then shaking; unshed tears in his eyes. “Do not say that.”

“It’s the truth.”

The German approached the blonde and caressed his face lightly. “We can still be happy, don’t you see that? He’s not right for you, Fábio. Why can’t you see that? I’m so much better.”

Mesut’s face was two centimeters away from his own and he knew he shouldn’t contradict him in anyway. If Cristiano had been around, he would have wanted him to keep up the charade but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen and Fábio had never been very good at doing what was best for his safety anyway. He took a deep breath and decided that it was enough; he wanted his life back and if hell broke loose because of it, then let it. 

“You can’t make me love you, Mesut. You can’t decide who’s good or not for me. I am in love with Cristiano and you may be able to keep us apart but you can’t change the fact that I love him.”

“Stop.”

“No, I won’t stop. You can’t change the fact that my stupid heartbeat accelerates every time I feel he’s within two foot from me, or how I have memorized every single millimeter of his face or even how it’s him I dream about at night and not you. You just can’t and neither can I.”

Mesut was like a waxwork melting with every work Fábio carefully delivered. 

“But I deserve you more than he does.”

“So what? Love is not about deserving Mesut. It has nothing to do with that. You don’t chose who you love based on merits. You just do.”

“Is this your last word?”

Fábio swallowed and nodded, not really surprised when Mesut’s hands came around his neck. 

“You’re leaving me no choice here, Fábio.”

“You’re the one leaving yourself no choice, Mesut. What are you going to do? Strangling me? Then what afterwards? This isn’t you.”

“You don’t know who I am.”

“You’re right but I know who you were and it wasn’t this person. You were shy, kind and tender; you wouldn’t have hurt a fly.”

“And look where that took me! To a hospital bed...” 

“It brought you friends, people who care, who admire you even.”

“I can’t let you go to him.”

“Come on, Mesut. It’s your life you’re fucking up, can’t you see? Don’t throw everything through the window for a guy you’re not even in love with.”

“Of course I am in love with you.”

“No, of course you’re not. You liked Fábio the hero, a character you created and put my face on. Then now I’m just a prize, a possession, a way to get back at Cristiano for I don’t even know what.”

“Stop.”

“Never. You’re better than this. I know you are.”

“Stop!”

“You’re a good boy; a bit lost maybe but a good boy.”

“Stop! Fucking stop, all right? Stop being so good to me when I’m being so horrible to you! I’m a worthless piece of shit, okay?”

Realization finally hit Fábio and he shook his head sadly. “That’s what you want to hear, isn’t it? You want me to tell you how worthless you are so you can go ahead and waste your life because what else do you deserve, huh? Sorry, Mesut but it’s not going to happen. I don’t believe you’re a worthless piece of shit, okay?”

Fábio could feel Mesut’s hands slowly freeing his neck as they lied on the bed. 

“I’m a horrible person, totally worthless. A horrible person, totally worthless.”

As Mesut kept repeating the same mantra Cristiano and Sergio came running through the door. Fábio hold a hand in the air to stop Cristiano from pouncing onto Mesut and slowly got up until he was engulfed in the older boy’s arms. Meanwhile, Sergio came closer to Mesut and hugged him tightly as the German kept repeating the same sickening words over and over again -I’m a horrible person, totally worthless. A horrible person, totally worthless- and Sergio started whispering in his ear –It’s all right. I’ve got you now. We’ll bring you back. We’ll bring you back-

 

Fábio & Sergio: Asking for a Chance. 

 

It took five long hours for Fábio to make his boyfriend understand that he needed a break, alone. He loved Cristiano with all his heart but he needed, for god’s sake, some time alone. He wasn’t made of glass, he wouldn’t break, had he told his boyfriend; everything would be fine and he finally got away just after promising he would find back his lover’s arms at night. 

He had found a nice patch of grass to sit on, gazing into the sky, trying hard to empty his head of the events that had taken place during the day. He tried hard to forget the feeling of Mesut’s hands tightening around his neck. He tried hard to forget the words his ex boyfriend had mumbled over and over again while shaking on his bed. He tried hard but systematically failed. 

“May I talk to you?”

Fábio’s head shot up and he cursed under his breath because, fuck, couldn’t he have five minutes alone? If he had ever deserved them, it certainly had been that day. Apparently Sergio didn’t agree. 

“Go ahead.” Said Fábio, too tired to oppose any kind of resistance. 

Sergio sat next to the blonde on the grass, grabbing some strands into his hands to find the courage he needed for the conversation that was about to come. 

“Are you okay?”

Sergio wanted to kick himself as soon as the question came out because of course Fábio wouldn’t be okay, who would in his place? The blonde shrugged sighing. 

“I’ve been better but I’m here, I guess.”

Sergio nodded and bit his lip; was it really the appropriate moment for this conversation? He didn’t have any other moment anyway. 

“I know you must be shaken and I get it but I’d like to ask you a favor, a big one.”

Fábio’s eyebrow got up, slightly curious about Sergio’s demand; it’s not as if they were friends after all. 

“Try me.”

“Look, I know Mesut has been totally borderline with you but I’d be grateful if you don’t mention what happened to any authority.”

“He threatened my boyfriend many times then he intended to choke me because I didn’t love him. Do you want me to ignore it, Sergio? He wasn’t borderline, he was a fucking psycho.”

Sergio nodded. “I know and I’m not trying to defend him but if you talk to Pérez, they’ll kick him out. Mesut isn’t me; he’s got no rich parents who can help him, he’ll get kicked out and his best shot at life will evaporate in front of his eyes.”

“There is life besides this school, you know?”

“Mesut needs help and he won’t get it if they throw him out. I’ll take him to the clinic I was in myself. I’ll make sure he gets treatment, Fábio. I promise you but please give him that chance.”

“Why the hell should I give him that chance?”

Sergio shrugged and looked into the horizon. “I guess you shouldn’t but since you got here you haven’t stopped giving them. Maybe one more wouldn’t hurt that much, would it?”

“This is not fair. You’re not being fair, Sergio.”

“I know but life isn’t, Fábio. I assure to you, that clinic is his best chance. If he doesn’t get better, I’ll talk to Pérez myself.”

Fábio shook his head and buried it into his hands. “You’re asking too much of me. You’re doing this because you feel guilty, aren’t you?”

“That’s one of the reasons. It’s not as good of a reason as the one that will make you crave in and do me this favor but it’s a reason nonetheless.”

“And what’s the reason I’m going to crave in?”

Sergio smiled and looked at Fábio. “You’ll do it because you’re a good person. That’s the best reason of all.”

Fábio groaned and lied on the grass. “Cristiano is going to fucking kill me”, he mumbles as Sergio’s hand shook gently his knee. 

 

Gareth & Leo: Let’s Be Friends. 

Gareth sat in the common room, dinning alone. Leo looked around and spotted most of his friends sitting at their usual table. He contemplated what to do when Neymar’s words came back to his mind; it hadn’t to be that hard. He took a deep breath and started walking towards Gareth’s table. 

“Do you mind if I sit with you?”

Gareth looked up, slightly surprised, and shook his head. 

“Why are you so alone?”

“The usual drama; the boys are coming to terms with Mesut’s behavior. I was trying to spend some time with Fábio but Cristiano won’t let him breath outside of his arms so here I am.”

Leo smirked at the last sentence concerning his best friend and shook his head. “What a drama, huh?”

“All the freaking year has been a drama; Shakespeare would have loved it here.”

Leo laughed slightly and started to eat. Soon enough they were both making small talk. 

“How are you dealing with the Mesut’s situation?”

Gareth stopped eating and let his fork fall into his plate. He stared at Leo with an intensity that burned holes through the boy. 

“If that guy comes anywhere near Fábio ever again, I’ll personally kick his ass so hard he’ll end up flying home. You don’t mess with my best friend. Am I clear?”

“I totally get you. If someone tries to choke Cristiano, I’ll personally choke him.”

Leo and Gareth smiled at each other, happy about their understanding. It looked like, in the end, they did have something in common. 

“Want to play a bit of football after diner?”

Gareth’s question came out unexpected to Leo who couldn’t help but slightly blush. 

“With pleasure.”

Maybe Neymar was right, he thought, it could be easier. 

 

Fábio & Cristiano: Peace at Least. 

 

Fábio skipped dinner all together because, honestly, he wasn’t able to eat anything and hold it in anyway. He spent some more time alone after Sergio’s visit and, once the night had fell upon the school, directed his steps towards Cristiano’s room. When he opened the door he found his boyfriend sitting on the bed, cell phone glued to his ear.

“Yes, thank you Silva but he just got in. Yeah, I will, don’t worry. Okay, bye.” 

He dropped the cell phone onto the mattress and glared at Fábio. “Your friend says to stop worrying him already and I agree!”

Fábio sighed and dropped himself next to Cristiano. “I didn’t disappear. I went to have some fresh air.”

“Do you have any idea of how worried I was? You should have been here thirty minutes ago!”

“Did you call every one of my friends?”

Cristiano blushed and mumbled something Fábio couldn’t really catch. The blonde wanted to roll his eyes but, seeing the look on his lover’s face, it wouldn’t have been a good idea. 

“I am sorry, okay? I didn’t want to cause any trouble. I just lost the sense of time. I really needed some moments for myself.”

Cristiano nodded and hugged Fábio’s waist tightly, bringing his face onto the blonde’s shoulder. “Are you better?”

“I’m getting there.”

“It’s okay, love. Don’t you worry; tomorrow we will go see Pérez and before you know it, summer will be here.”

Fábio took a deep breath, internally cringing at Cristiano’s reaction beforehand. “About that... Look, Cris, I’m not going to talk to Pérez.”

“What do you mean you’re not going to talk to Pérez? Do you prefer to talk to Ancelotti or Mourinho maybe?”

“No, you don’t get it. I won’t talk to any of them. I won’t denounce Mesut.”

Cristiano sprung from the bed with an impressive agility. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Cris...”

“He would have strangled you! If you hadn’t find the right words, he would have fucking killed you, Fábio.”

“Cris...”

“No, don’t “Cris” me! You’re going to talk to someone.”

“No! What the hell is it with everybody wanting to decide for me today? I’m not going to talk to anyone. Sergio will take Mesut to a clinic during summer and that’s it.”

“You can’t be serious Fábio.”

The blonde sighed and got up, approaching his boyfriend without getting to touch him. 

“Look, I’m not sure it is the best decision but I feel like it’s the one I have to make. He deserves a chance.”

“No, he doesn’t! He’s been nothing but horrible to you, to us, and the only thing he deserves is punishment!”

Fábio sighed. “I shouldn’t have dated him in the first place...”

Cristiano pointed his finger towards Fábio and whispered dangerously low: “Don’t even go there.”

Fábio put his hands up in the air signaling his desire for a truce. 

“All right but the decision has been made.”

“Is this your final word?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Then you should get out of here.”

Fábio looked at Cristiano perplexed, unable to process the last words uttered. 

“Excuse me?”

Cristiano shrugged. “You heard me. If this is your final word, you should get out of here.”

“You’re throwing me out today? Of all the days, you’re throwing me out today?”

“Well, excuse me Fábio but I don’t know if I can be with someone who has the biggest martyr complex ever! You may not give a shit about your life but I do, okay? I’d have freaking died if something had happened to you but you don’t care.”

“You’re being so incredibly unfair right now.”

“So are you. Maybe we’re not made for each other after all.”

In that exact moment, Fábio heard every piece of his mended heart break all over again. 

“Are you breaking up with me?”

Cristiano’s voice trembled as he answered. “I don’t know. I-I-I... need time. I can’t even look at you right now, Fáb.” 

When a few minutes later Fábio appeared in the common room, silent tears rolling down his cheeks, Gareth couldn’t get to him fast enough. 

“What’s wrong?”

The blonde shrugged, trying not to finally break after his awful day. Leo approached them and, with his best intention, asked: 

“Do you want me to find Cris?”

Fábio just swallowed and left running to his room. Gareth shot Leo a questioning look before following his best friend. 

Leo, now alone in the middle of the room, cursed under his breath. What the hell have you done this time, Cris... he mumbled. 

 

Sergio & Mesut: The Midnight Train Going Anywhere. 

 

Sergio didn’t ask any questions when he entered Mesut’s room. He started throwing the German’s things into a suitcase without asking for permission. 

“So that’s it, they already kicked me out?”

Sergio shook his head without stopping his activities. “Fábio won’t talk. I’m taking you to the clinic I was in. We’ll get you better.”

“What do you mean Fábio won’t talk? But he has to...”

“He won’t. You’re lucky like that. Anybody else would have talked, you know? Move your ass, we’re getting the midnight train.”

“But, I...”

“I’m not asking you, Mesut. I talked to Pérez; we have permission to skip the last week. Hopefully, you’ll get better during the summer.”

 

Mesut tried to stutter something but failed as Sergio simply finished packing and took him to the train station. A new journey was about to start. 

 

“Remember tonight... for it is the beginning of always” 

Dante Alighieri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOUS SOMMES TOUS CHARLIE


	31. Dead Letters-Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Fábio's dead letters.

 

_**“More than kisses, letters mingle souls.” ― John Donne.** _

 

A dead letter cannot be delivered to the person to whom it was addressed, nor can it be returned to the sender. A dead letter’s words end up floating into an ethereal space, physically existing but never really coming to life.

 

To me a dead letter is the symbol of all the words we wanted to say but never did. It is the symbol of all the things we should have done but declined to. It is the symbol of all the things that died within us before they even came to life. We all hold dead letters within ourselves, whether they are the result of fear, shame or simple lack of self-esteem.

 

Here are the dead letters of the story’s protagonists. Here are all the words they should have said to the persons they were addressed to but silenced. Here they are because I think those words should be spoken, even if it is only into thin air.  

 

 

 

_**Leo’s letters: Gareth, Cristiano & his mom. ** _

 

**Dear Gareth,**

 

I don’t really know what to say. I’ve been living in silence for so long that I now find it hard to talk, specially when I want my words to mean something because if they don’t, what’s the point?

 

 

I probably should tell you who you are to me but I don’t really know the answer to that either. The only thing I know is that I was comfotably living in my world of commodities, on my golden throne, until you came along and awakened me to a new planet. How do you call a person who does that? Furthermore, what should you feel for her? I don’t even know if I’m supposed to loathe you, thank you or simply let it be.

 

I wish this were a film and I had the right words at the right moment; I wish I had some sort of epiphany to know exactly what you mean in my life but it hasn’t happened. This isn’t a film; this is reality so I have all the wrong answers and all the right questions and I’ll just state what’s obvious: you’re important enough for me to write you a letter. I guess that says it all, really.

 

 

I’d like for you to give me chance, a chance as a person. It’s been a long time since the last time I’ve wanted to be myself with someone but I want that with you. I’d like for us to get to a place where we can talk, eye to eye, without all those pretenses, those roles we ought to play. I believe, I really do, that you’d meet a guy you’d find likable; an intelligent one , smartass and secretly a bit of a nerd.

 

I bet you weren’t expecting this shyness from me, huh? Well, welcome to the real Leo Messi I guess. I hope you’ll like him better than the king of the school.

 

 

Whatever this is,

 

 

Leo.

 

 

_**Dear Cristiano,** _

 

I find it incredible that there still are things that I cannot tell to your face but, guess what, there are. It’s been a tough year for both of us and even our friendship has had up and downs and yet I feel like it is now stronger than ever. I guess you need to sail a big storm in order to know how solid your boat is; ours is unbreakable.

 

Of course, things have changed. You have Blondie now –well, at least somedays, huh?- I’ve never told you but sometimes I feel a little bit jealous. Don’t get all worked up, Mr. big ego! This isn’t a love confession. I mean, have you seen your hair? I’d never fall for you... Anyway, the thing is that it’s been just us for so long and now there’s someone else who’s that special in your life... Somedays it just feels weird, you know? I guess it’s natural.

 

I am happy for you though, really happy. I’m the one who knows you the best and I can tell it’s genuine; even when you deny it yourself, swearing you don’t give a fuck about him, I can tell through your bullshit. Plus, you should keep Blondie; I like him for you. Sure, the kid is a bit strange and has his flaws like the whole martyr syndrome but everytime he’s around you become like the best version of you. You really should keep that; I don’t think it’s that easy to find and I’m not sure you’re really aware of that. Yes, we’re just kids. Yes, teenage romances never last but there’s always an exception to the rule... Sometimes it’s like you think you’re going to turn a corner and find ten persons to fall in love with but that just doesn’t happen, Cris. So, please, value what you have before throwing it away. I don’t like seeing you sad. When you hurt, I hurt.

 

I’d also like to see you stand up to your dad but that’s not an easy one, is it? I don’t have lessons to give on the matter anyway. It’s just that I don’t want you ruined before even starting in life becaus of him, okay? So please, just be careful. Sometimes people that should love us do not and it hurts but it gets better. If your dad can’t be there or doesn’t want to, you’ll have to let him go at some point because, Cris, you’re the only one getting hurt time and time again.

 

You’re the most important person in my life and I think you already know it but you deserve to hear it –or read it- from me, don’t you? You know what they say: for the worst and for the best.

 

Love you,

 

Leo.

 

 

**_Dear mom,_ **

 

This certainly is the toughest letter I’ll ever have to write. I could talk to you about the endless nights I spent crying as a child, wondering why my mother didn’t love me. What have I done wrong? That’s the question I’ve asked myself everyday of my life. Why am I not enough? Am I so awful even my mother can’t love me? I could tell you about how much you holding me were the only thing I’ve ever really wanted. I could tell you all of that and more but what would be the point? For you, this letter is one from a stranger. Someone you owe nothing at all. So I’ll tell you something completely different, something you might be able to hear.

 

I try not to blame you. I won’t lie, somedays I’m not strong enough to do so but I try. I know it’s not your fault. I can imagine, Rosalinda told me, the despair you went through when you became pregnant. I can picture you asking yourself why you couldn’t love your child as everyone else does. In the end I guess you and I are not that different. I am sure you asked yourself the same questions I do; what am I doing wrong? Why am I not enough to do something that’s supposed to be natural? Am I so awful I can’t even love my son? I very well know your personal hell. It’s funny that we share it, isn’t it? I don’t think anybody could understand you the way I do.

 

I’m trying to stop blaming myself and maybe so should you. Not everybody is fit to be a parent, I guess. I haven’t seen you smile in years. I just want you to know that I wouldn’t be mad if you did, I wouldn’t be mad if you forgave yourself just a little bit. I’d still like for us to be closer. I know we can’t have the relationship most moms and sons do but maybe we can create one of our own? Maybe we could learn to know each other as two strangers would and, who knows, we may like each other.

 

Sincerly,

 

Leo.  

 

 

 

_**Fábio’s letters: Cristiano, Gareth & Mesut. ** _

 

_**Dear Cris,** _

 

There are things I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell you. There are some things I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell anyone. I will never tell you how much it hurts everytime you break me, even if it’s a little bit. I will never tell you that everytime you drift away I can’t help the feeling that it’s my fault, that I’m not good enough. I will never tell you so and how would I? My family did not want me enough to keep me at home. Nobody wanted me enough to adopt me when I was in the orphanage. My bestfriend, my brother, didn’t want me enough to stop his crap. Why would you be any different? Why would anyone be? But I can’t tell you that because no one, not even you, wants to hear it. No one wants to really know the truth.

 

If you wanted to know the truth, I’d tell you how much you’ve changed my life. Everybody keeps talking about how I have changed theirs but, Cris, you can’t begin to imagine how much you’ve changed mine. I’d tell you about all those nights spent in the cold, waiting for a warmness that would never come. I’d tell you about the first kiss that they forced out of me. I’d tell you about the unbearable conviction of not being able to ever really love anyone. I like going around, acting as a strong boy who has not been damaged by his past but damaged is the only thing I’ve ever really been. Then I’d tell you about how whole I felt the first time you took me in your arms. I’d tell you how your kisses made me believe that maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t so fucked up that there was no way back. Maybe I still had a chance at a good life, one that was worth it.

 

I don’t tell the truth but you’re not better either, are you? You go around being all self-confident and why wouldn’t you? You’re gorgeous, rich, talented ... Why in the world wouldn’t you be self-confident? But you’re not really, are you? Deep down you’re still a scared children, waiting for his father’s approval. Deep down you feel weak. He makes you feel like you’re not good enough and that’s what I try to erase with my words, my touches, my kisses... If only you could see yourself through my eyes, if only... You’d see everything you really are and all the amazing things you can become.

 

I love you and it at night, when I’m alone in my bed and there’s no noise or light to distract me from my thoughts, it scares me how much I do.

 

Fábio.

 

 

_**Dear Gareth,** _

 

Thank you; thank you for being the normality in my life. I had forgotten how normality felt like and it’s really nice. In fact, being around you is one of the nicest things I’ve ever experienced because it’s so damn easy to be around you. You make everything so simple and that’s something people don’t value enough. You’ve reminded me what it’s like to laugh without reason, to back up a mate’s stupidity just because he’s your mate, to play around, eat a bit, watch a movie... to simply be in a comfortable silence, happy to be there with good company.

 

You’ve made me forget how difficult life really is. You’ve discovered to me that it can still be easy and that’s such a wonderful thing to know. Thanks to you I can use the word “bestfriend” again without feeling guilty or inadequate about it. You’ve brought me so much this year... I can hardly believe it. People will try to complicate you; they’ll tell you that you can’t go around life like you do... that you have to take it seriously. Fuck those people, Gareth! Never stop taking it as a joke because life may not be one but it certainly should.

 

I have the feeling your life is about to get crazier... I am sure you can handle it and you can be sure I’ll be there, just by your side, to help you do so.

 

Love,

 

Fábio.

 

 

 

**_Dear Mesut,_ **

 

I should have never dated you. I never believed you were in love with me... because you never really knew me. I thought it was an infatuation with the idea you had made out of me. You needed a hero, Mes; you needed a hero and you decided he would look like me but it was never really I because I’m nowhere a hero. I do shit everyday. I make bad choices everyday. I feel ashamed at some point everday. Infatuation or not, I knew you felt something strong while I felt nothing but friendship for you. I was in love with Cristiano and I dated you with the hope to forget him. It wasn’t fair to you and I am sorry about it.

 

I don’t know what happened to you; I don’t know what it takes to go from a shy, abused boy to an abuser... I guess you can’t go through years of bulling without it taking a toll on you somehow, huh? I’m sure you didn’t see it coming; I can picture the darkness slowly creeping into you day-to-day, dose-by-dose, without previous announcement. I guess one day you woke up and couldn’t recognize the guy staring at you from the mirror. It happens.

 

They tell me I should hate you but I can’t bring myself to. The only thing I feel for you is pity and certain tenderness when I remember the real Mesut, the kind guy who simply wanted to learn to be brave. Not denouncing you is my gift for you; consider it my apology for the whole Cristiano fiasco. Once ago I did something horribly wrong and I asked for forgiveness, it was granted to me and the person who did so told me: “I forgive you since I am who I am today because someone did the same thing for me long ago. You deserve a fair chance. You deserve the chance I got.” Today I pass onto you that incredible blessing of a second chance. I can’t do anything else; it’s your turn to play now.

 

Courage,

 

Fábio.

 

**_When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain. - William Shakespeare._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next part of the chapter will contain Cristiano and Gareth's letters. If you want anyone else's letter(s) specifically, please do tell. 
> 
> This was a special chapter to writer so I would appreciate hearing from you all. 
> 
> Love,
> 
> Clems.


	32. Dead Letters-Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cristiano and Gareth's dead letters.

 

**“I am master of my spoken words and slave to those which remain unspoken.”**

**[Ankita Singhal](http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6981181.Ankita_Singhal)**

 

 

**_Cristiano’s letters: Mom & Dad, Leo, Fábio._ **

 

 

**Dear mom & dad,**

 

I’ve always lived with the fear that I am failing you, especially you dad. It’s like I’m never good enough for you... Nothing that I do really matter, it’s just not enough. I guess I’m not the son you were waiting for; you were expecting some kind of mini you that would follow in your footsteps but I don’t seem to be that person and I apologize for it. I still try though, dad; I try really hard because there is no one on the face of earth that I admire more than you. Deep down, even though I would never recognize it to your face, I wish I were more like you. Everything I do is somehow about you; I’m always hoping to catch that pride in your eyes directed at me. I’d do everything to see it. In fact, I have a confession to make: you’re my superhero, dad. Who wants guys with stupid disguises when I can have you? You were going to save the world, remember? They say teenage hood, growing up, is about accepting that your parents and all the adults who surround you are just human, human beings full of mistakes but I can’t accept that. I refuse to accept that. You’ll always be my superhero, dad, always.

 

You were the sweetness personified mom; always there for me, always there to soften dad’s roughness. You were my heroine too; the woman who would stand anything because of love, the one with the infinite patience and tenderness. I was so platonically in love with you and if sometimes I have hated my dad, never you. You’ve always been the queen of this tale. We haven’t spent that much time together anyway but still, I don’t remember ever seeing something else in your eyes that an unconditional love directed at me. I think I’ve sent you the same love back... Haven’t I? And that’s why I can’t understand why you left without a word. You left me. You gave me up without a fight. What I am supposed to think? Fábio says I shouldn’t judge you too fast, he says you have your reasons but why the hell should I care for those reasons? I have to admit that I’ve never questioned whether you were happy with your life or not, I guess at my age you only care about your own. Still, you didn’t have to cut me out of your life; I don’t think anything can justify that and I’m not sure I can forgive.

 

At the end of the day, you left and he stayed. I guess I had my fairytale mapped out wrong; I thought you were the good one and he was the big bad wolf but things are never that easy, are they?

 

I still love both of you from the bottom of my heart and I hope we can all be a family again someday.

 

Sincerely your son,

 

Cristiano.

 

 

**Dear Leo,**

 

I know I haven’t been the best of friends this year. You’ll have to forgive me; it’s been a tough one. I guess things were easier before, weren’t they? We were just kids playing around: playing football, guys & girls, parties and alcohol, just playing around... I believe the only thing we’ve never played with is our friendship; that has always been sacred and I almost destroyed it this year. I never want to destroy that, do you hear me? Never, not in a million years.

 

I know what adults say; I’ve heard them a hundred times talking about how childhood friendships die slowly, disappearing into the different life styles and personalities that reveal themselves in adulthood... Not us, Leo. I know it’s a cliché, I know everybody says it and ends moving to another city and never calling but I mean it with every fiber of my being. Not us. We’re special; we’re unbreakable. We know each other by heart we stay nonetheless.

 

People think you’re the egoistical one but you’re not, are you? You always revolve around me, making sure that I am fine and don’t need anything I don’t have. You’re always saving my ass and sometimes I am too egocentric to acknowledge but I know, Leo. I know you’ve been protecting me since the first day we met and you can’t begin to imagine how grateful I am for it.

 

I should also tell you how proud I am of you. I can see all the work you have done through the year... You used to live enclosed in your little bubble, protecting yourself from the rest of the world; _“I don’t care!”_ you would proclaim, “the world is a nasty place where you have to watch your own ass _‘cause no one is going to do it for you!”_ I can’t say you were absolutely mistaken but I’m glad to see you’re opening up a bit, admitting that, maybe, humankind is also able of good things and it’s worth the shot.

 

You’re about to fall in love, my dear Leo. In fact, you may have fallen already. Who would have thought? I bet you’re going to struggle a lot... You’ve never stood to lose control and I have to tell you: there’s no such thing as control in love. I promise to be there every step of the way, even if I can only lie by your side and cry with you. You’ll never be alone, Leo. You and I will never be alone.

 

Love,

 

Cris.

 

 

 

**Dear Fábio,**

 

Would you believe me if I told you that I felt it from the beginning? I know it sounds cheesy but I just did; you were so different that I knew nothing would be the same after you. I guess you’re a bit of a hurricane, aren’t you? At least you are one into my life.

 

I’d like to talk with you about the first mistake I did, that stupid and cruel bet, but you’ve never wanted us to. I believe it still hurts you and you can’t imagine how painful that is to me. I never feigned, you know? That night when I was drunk at the party and you saved me... Everything I said and did that night was absolutely authentic. I was just afraid, terrified of not being accepted. I know it’s not an excuse but I am not as strong as you are Fáb and you need to understand that. I have the need to feel loved, admired, desired even and I can’t change that. I guess that at the end of the day, even though it often looks the other way around, I’m the one of us with the least self-confidence.

 

I keep making mistakes; I keep hurting you and myself in the process. I’d like to tell you it won’t happen again but I don’t think that would be fair, it probably will happen five times per week. I’ve never have to look for someone other than me and it might take some time to change that. I know I should have thought about you and everything you had gone through that day but I could only concentrate on my own fear, the fear of something happening to you. Babe, you have to help me a bit there; you have to stop putting yourself in danger every chance you get. It’s not that I want to change you, I don’t. I love your sense of justice, how you will stand up for anyone in need, how empathetic you are but you have to care about yourself too. I think I know why you act the way you act; I guess you’ve been pretty alone until now and you didn’t have someone to think about but that’s not true anymore. When you get out there you have to remember that I am here, waiting for you to come back, and you have to think of me too. You have to keep yourself safe, if not for you, at least for me because I care Fábio; I’ve never cared more for anyone else. Let’s make a deal, shall we? I’ll think a bit less about myself while you’ll think a bit more about you. I guess that’s pretty reasonable.

 

If I had the guts, I’d tell you that you’re my new superhero. If I had the guts, I’d confess to you how much I admire you, how much I wish I could be more like you. You’re a dream come true, a dream I never knew I had. That’s why I’m asking you, please, do not let me fall even when I deserve it the most. Please, hold onto me; please. I am in love with you and I guess that’s what I should tell you everyday.

 

Love,

 

Cris.

 

 

****

**_Gareth’s letters: Leo, Fábio, Ricky._ **

 

 

**_Dear Leo,_ **

 

I think you’re the weirdest person I’ve ever met. We have known each other for a few years and the first time you really approach me to talk, you choose death as a topic. I deny you the originality of it but I’ll admit that it kind of freaks me out a little bit. Maybe next time you should talk about the weather or something.

 

Not only are you the weirdest person I’ve ever met, but you’re also an absolute pain in the ass. I didn’t ask for you to be in my life, why the hell to keep coming in? Go find some other hobby; play golf, go to Africa as a missionary, enjoy cheap sex in Asia... I don’t know man, whatever you rich kids do. I hate you with a passion... You always walk around with an invisible crown on your head and that stupid aura of superiority that I’d gladly destroy with my fists! Who the hell do you think you are, Leo? You’re not better than any of us; in fact, until now, you may very well have been the worst.

 

Yeah, I guess if I could tell you something I would list all the things I hate about you. I hate your seize –you’re a hobbit, man-; your nose –it is way too big for your face-; your ways of not even running during a game and appear out of the blue to solve it with one kick while I’ve been working my ass out; your arrogance; your humor –you’re so not funny even if you think you’re the funniest-; your best friend... Oh man, I hate your best friend with a passion! Could you keep him away from my friends? That would be very nice and I’d appreciate it, even coming from you.

 

Okay, I think I’m losing my focus here. That’s what I’d tell you if someone was looking. If I had to tell you the truth, I guess I’d say that all of it is pretty unfair. This year I’ve discovered that you’re a human being after all; you even may have feelings. It was easier before, you know? It was easier to live in a world of black and white where they were good guys and bad guys and that was it. Once you get to know the bad guy, things get complicated; the bad guy usually has his own motivations, his own story, and his own bad guys in the tale where he is the protagonist...

 

I guess I have to admit that you’re a pretty decent guy after all. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still a lot of work to do but that’s true for every one of us. There are some things I like about you, you know: your irony, your self-confidence, and your will to better yourself… I don’t know, maybe we can learn to know each other for real instead of busying ourselves with the prefabricated images we’ve had of each other for the last years. We could be surprised.

 

Cheers,

 

Gareth.

 

****

**Dear Fábio,**

 

I still remember vividly the first time I met you. I just saw a blonde head full of disheveled hair, skinny bones, an expression of confusion and an absolute disrespect for any kind of authority. When I saw you I thought: this guy means trouble and you soon confirmed I was right.

 

You broke havoc and I thought you were going to destroy us all but you didn’t, you freed us. It wasn’t an easy process but it was absolutely worth it. I’ve never said thank you, have I? So thank you, Fábio. I owe you. I don’t know how we ended up being the best of friends but, hey, here we are! We’re brothers now and I have your back as much as you have mine. If you need me to kick Ken, please say so; I’d enjoy it immensely.

 

I know I never talk about my feelings much... but I was in a bad place when I met you and you’ve helped a lot to change that. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I care about you a lot and you’ll probably never hear it from me because, hell, I am totally unable to say that kind of things out loud.

 

Hopefully, you already know and can accept me as I am.

 

Love,

 

Gareth.

 

****

**Dear Ricky,**

 

We haven’t talked, really talked, in a long time. It’s weird how things change... We use to spend every single minute of every day together, remember? I still miss it sometimes; I’ve never been so close to anyone before and I’m not even sure it’ll ever happen again. My mother always used to tell me: enjoy the things you have while you have them; that you have something today doesn’t mean you’ll still have it tomorrow. I think it was her wise way of warning me about taking things for granted but you know how it works, some things you have to see for yourself.

 

If I could talk, if I could ignore my stupid pride, I’d like to say that I’m sorry. I owe you an apology and I have for a very long time. I’ve always talked about how much it hurt to see you with Cristiano and I don’t think I was wrong, okay? I know you can’t control what you feel but shit Ricky, I was right there! I was right there just waiting for you to see me and you didn’t care. It was hard seeing you with him and it was even harder seeing you broken because of him and when you came to confess your love to me... God Ricky, I was so angry! I was so angry at you for so long that I couldn’t stop to be angry at me.

 

I should have forgiven you. I should have talked to you, I should have listen and be a little more understanding. You couldn’t redo the past; you apologized and I should have let go but I couldn’t bring myself to. As a result, we’re not even close friends anymore and that’s just utter bullshit because we’ve grown up together and there are few people on earth that I love more than you.

 

I don’t think we can ever go back to how we were... Life has its timing and when it’s too late, it’s too late. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be close again and build a new relationship, a better one. If you’re ever ready to forgive me, I’d like that.

 

Love,

 

Gareth.

 

**_“and only when that happens do you realise just how much silence there really is. Silence between lovers, when something really needs to be said; silence from a parent when a child needs some word more than anything else in the world; silences and in betweens and everything which isn’t an answer.”_ **

****

**_[Michael Marshall Smith](http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/12339.Michael_Marshall_Smith), [Spares](http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1178452)_ **

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 of this chapter will contain the letters you asked for in the comments!
> 
> Enjoy :)


	33. Dead Letters - Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here are the dead letters you requested. I believe I've answered to every request… If I have forgotten something, please do forgive me!

“Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly -- they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced.”

Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

 

 

Sergio’s letters: Cristiano, Iker & Sergio.

 

Dear Cristiano,

I always thought you were different; the cooler one, the prettier one, the more talented and even the kindest of them all. You should see yourself from the outside, absolutely spectacular, like a blinding ray of sunshine. 

You can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to be me. How could you? You were born in the right place, within the right family, prestige and money filling the room you grew up in. I, on the other hand, was born in a family of very humble people that prospered through their had work and a little bit of luck. Money came and they gained access to a world they had never dare to imagine. 

And I thought that I could finally be like you, one of those people full of confidence that own, literarily, the place. I thought money was enough, how naive that was of me! Money can grant you access into your little club but it doesn’t make you a member. I roomed with you and Leo, I played with you two, I ate with you two, I partied with you two and yet I was never one of yours, was I? I never became your friend. 

Do you know how hurtful is that? Do you know how painful is it to hopelessly try to fit in and never succeed? Of course you don’t because you’ve always fitted in and I kind of blame you for it. I didn’t ask for much, you know? I just wanted to be one of yours. I only wanted you to care enough to make me one of yours but I never really got the chance.

Now it’s all behind me. I do not envy you anymore. I have to say what lies behind the glamour and shine is disappointing at its best and disgusting at its worst. I have a place to come back I can call home, I have parents that truly love me, I have friends who love me for who I am. It’s funny how the only thing I had that you lacked, I didn’t value. I can’t get into your club but neither can you get into mine. I guess it’s only fair. 

Cheers, 

Sergio. 

 

Dear Iker,

 

I feel so awful about leaving without telling you but I was in a rush. I know, it’s a horrible excuse but that’s everything I’ve had this year for you, haven’t I? Horrible excuses. 

I feel extremely ashamed of the way I have behaved towards you, Iker. I don’t know what happened to you last summer but now I can understand that we all have our own journeys and sometimes you just can’t share them. I want to believe I would be a better friend if it happened today, I really want to. I got blindsided by shiny things and people without realizing how fake they were, without realizing that you were the one I had to keep by my side. I learned my lesson now and I’m glad it wasn’t too late.

You made a lot of mistakes last year but it doesn’t make any sense for you to keep beating up yourself. You can’t undo the past. Yes, recognizing our mistakes and accepting the price to pay is important but letting it go when the moment comes is as important if not more. That’s what Dr. Cantona taught me and I think he was right. I am glad to see you smiling, fooling around with Cesc; you deserve some lightness. 

I am trying to let go too, to learn to be that new person I’m becoming whether I like it or not. It might take some time, even a very long time, but I’m on my way there. I guess we couldn’t be happy boys forever, could we? We had it all too soon, too easy for that. I guess it’s only fair. I only hope that you’ll never become a simple guest star in my life; you’re only admitted as a co-protagonist.

I’ll see you in September, Iker. Hopefully, everything will be better by then. I’ll be better by then.

Love,

Sergio. 

 

Dear Mesut,

Where do I begin with you? Maybe I should simply tell you the truth. I never do that with people and it might be a good start, it might save us a lot of shit. I don’t know why it started, Mesut. I just felt powerful; I wasn’t only rich, I was a new rich and I was afraid to be rejected so I just felt I needed to do twice as much as the rest of them. Being drunk on power is a very strange sensation; it’s so overwhelming, exhilarating that you soon forget how much pain you’re inflicting. It could have been anyone else but it was you. 

At first I didn’t bully you because of anything in particular, I just did it for the sake of doing it. God, how horrible does that make me? Now I’m ashamed to even write it down. I’d love to give you better reasons, stronger ones but, sadly, I don’t have them. I guess what happened is similar to those games boys play, like how they walk on ants just because they’re smaller and weaker, just because they can. 

Then things escalated pretty quickly and... This is so hard to say, even knowing you’ll never read it but I guess that’s why I have to say it. As time went on, I guess I developed some kind of attraction towards you. Bullying you was a way of possessing you I think, how sick is that? Then you stood up to me and I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand to lose the power I held over you so I used the only thing I know how to use: violence. 

Now you’re as much of a monster as I was and I can’t help but feel like Victor Frankenstein. Have you read that book, Mesut? Victor makes the creature evil; the poor thing only wants love but he receives hate once and once again until he ends up turning evil. You’re kind of my creature and I am so sorry for it but I promise you I won’t be Victor Frankenstein anymore. He abandons his creature but I won’t, I’ll try and do my best to give you back everything I took from you. 

I know I can’t erase the last years but we can still save you from me, from yourself. We still can. 

Sergio.

 

Neymar’s letters: Marcelo & Leo.

 

Dear Marcelo,

I’d like to talk seriously for once. We’re always joking and it’s a great thing; I love how funny you are and all those laughs we share together on a daily basis, I really do. Life should be a party; people are way too serious most of the time. Anyway, sometimes I still feel the need to say some things seriously to you. Why do we never talk seriously? I think it’s because it’s scary, do you get me? To say what you really feel or think means truly exposing yourself without the possibility to yell “JOKE” if it doesn’t work. 

Don’t be scared, I don’t have some big and sacred confession to make; it’s not my style. My grand-father taught me something when I was a small pumpkin running around on the beach; he always said that in life there only were three sentences that really counted: “I am sorry”, “I love you” and “Thank you”. If you know how to use those words, he used to say, you’ll be fine in life Ney. I think I am starting to understand what he meant. Everything else is just to reinforce one of those three meanings, isn’t it? Everything else always comes down to those words. 

I am sorry for being a pain in the ass. I can’t believe how many days I tormented you with my Leo problems while you were silently crying over Cristiano and I didn’t even realize. I am sorry to have ever been a reason for you to suffer because I never want to be that. I am sorry for never saying those words to you. They say that love, any kind of it, is about not having to say “I am sorry” but that’s utter bullshit. Love is exactly about knowing to say those words. 

I love you. You are the best friend I could have wished for. Every time I think about my life I am incredibly grateful to have found you. You’re a blessing. 

Thank you. Thank you for being just who you are, for the laughs, the jokes, the silliness nobody else gets, the shoulder to cry one and the hand to shake. Thank you for choosing me as your bestie. Thank you.

Love,

Ney. 

 

Dear Leo,

You truly are a pain in the ass. Why making everything so complicated? You go around proclaiming you like it easy but, Leo, you’re anything but easy. Easy is to say what you feel, what you want and what you think instead of hiding behind five hundred walls. That’s not easy, that’s a hella difficult! You have to be the most difficult person I’ve ever met. You’re also one of the worthiest. 

You’d win a lot opening yourself a little. Let us see, let the world see, how funny and kind you can be. Let yourself be that little brat who complain more than he breathes, that shy boy who spends an hour watching Gareth from afar because he doesn’t dare to approach him, that fierce friend who would kill for Cris, that kid who’s scared as fuck to be hurt ever again. I know it’s hard but that’s the only way to live, Leo. Don’t you get it? If you don’t open the door bad things won’t come in but neither will the good ones. It would be such a shame for you to walk this Earth without revealing all the potential that’s locked up inside you. 

As for us, everything is fine now, isn’t? By the way, you were totally wrong. You always said to me that we would never be anything but we’re becoming friends, deal with it Leo. I didn’t really love you anyway, I guess there was a lot of worshipping. You are a God of football after all. Plus, I like you much more as friend than as lover. I guess that’s how things were supposed to be. Who know where will life take us. Get busy living and we’ll see. 

Cheers,

Neymar.

 

Mesut’s Letters: Fábio, Sergio & Cristiano. 

 

Dear Fábio,

You’re incredibly stupid. How could you not denounce me? What the hell were you thinking about? You’re such a lost cause. I would have been expelled, so what? I deserve it. Why would you save me again? I just don’t get it, man. I keep fucking up and you keep giving me chances, would you stop please? I don’t deserve them. I’m nothing special. I’m not worthy of forgiveness. 

I don’t even know how it happened, you know? One day I was a scared kid and the next one I was on a hospital bed because of my craziness. One day I was the one being abused and the next one, the abuser. I don’t know how you go from a place to another, Fábio. I don’t even know it it’s possible to explain. I, at least, can’t explain it. The worst thing is that I’ve never really been like that, you see? I wasn’t a scared kid, neither was I a stalker. I used to be a fun guy, always playing jokes and fooling around. I was the kind of kid who would never stop quiet, causing despair to my parents. I always had a smile on my face. I was happy all the freaking time and I don’t know when it went all to hell. I can’t recognize the face in my mirror and I don’t even know how I lost that kid. How do I get back, Fábio? How do I walk backwards? You should have known me back them, you’d have loved me for real. 

Please, do not feel guilty. I know you and I’m sure you’ll be able to find some kind of ridiculous theory where me attacking you ends up being somehow your fault and I do not want that. You don’t have the right to do that. You were nothing but great to me, all right? This is not your fault. You’re the victim here, don’t turn yourself into the executioner and don’t you dare worry about me. Just try and be happy, yeah? You’re always finding reasons to not be happy, stop it. You’re not on the streets anymore, you’re not alone anymore and there’s food in the fridge, all right? Just learn to enjoy it. 

Since I don’t deserve the second chance you’re giving me, I’ll at least try to be worthy of it at the end of this journey. 

Mesut. 

 

Dear Sergio,

Scratch that. You’re nothing dear to me. What kind of game are you playing it? Do you think that, by taking me to a clinic, all those years of abuse will be erased? Do you really believe it will exonerate you of the responsibility you’ve had in the man I’ve become? Don’t make me laugh. I am not here to make you feel better, do you hear me? For all I care, you can go fuck yourself.

You’ll never what it feels like. You’ll never know all those nights spent awake, being terrified of the day that was about to come. You’ll never know the free time spent in class so you wouldn’t find me. You’ll never know the humiliation, the shock, the pain... You’ll never know shit, Sergio. So if you’re waiting for me to pat you on the back and thank you for this, you’ll be waiting forever. You’re a horrible person and I feel nothing but disgust for you. You owe me years of my life, how are you going to repay them back? Exactly, you can’t. 

Don’t worry though, you should be able to sleep at night because what I did, what I’ve become, are not your fault. I take full responsibility for my actions. I take full responsibility for my own horror but I’m taking none for yours. I am not your creation, I am my own. 

But just so you know, I will never forgive you those years. 

Mesut. 

 

Dear Cristiano,

You’re the most exhausting human being I’ve ever met. You’ll never know how much I want to wipe that smirk off your face. You believe you’re the center of the Universe but, new flash, you’re not. You keep going around crying and complaining but about what, exactly? What would you know, Cris? 

In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never cared. Look at what you did to Ricky... He didn’t deserve it, did he? But you wouldn’t know because you are unable to care for someone else more than you care for yourself. It’s not even that you’re a bad person because I don’t think you are but you are the blindest. Can’t you see? Your priorities do not have to be everyone else’s. Your feelings do not have to count more than ours. 

I know how much I’ve hurt Fábio and I am sorry for it but, in my craziness, my words still held some truth. You are not good for him and, for fuck’s sake, you do not deserve him. You’re as egoistical as he is selfless and, in the long run, you’ll destroy him. I can see it already, everybody can; you’ll end up being his priority, he’ll sacrifice everything for you and that’s not fair. You were right, he needed to be protected from me but he also needs to be protected from you.

You’ll always be the heir to the crown and he the misfit, don’t you see? It cannot work and if you love him, even if it’s only a bit, you’ll let him be. 

Mesut. 

 

David’s letter to Silva & Silva’s letter to David.

 

Dear Silva,

You are the cutest thing I’ve ever met. At first, I didn’t really see you; it wasn’t lust at first sight or anything like that but then, as time went on, I started to notice the shy guy hiding behind the corner and I thought to myself “Hey, it could be fun!” Do you have any idea how much time do you spend hiding? You were always behind something or someone, almost expecting any predator to come out. You made it way too easy for me.

You kept telling me how nasty I was, how much like Sergio I was but our little “aggressive flirting” was nothing like Sergio bullying Mesut. I never did anything you didn’t want me to do, ever. I only played the games you allowed me to play and it was the funniest thing ever. It was like a cat chasing a cute mice, how would I have resisted? I’d tell you I’m sorry for letting you believe that something happened that night but I’m not. It was too damn funny. You should have seen you coming onto me, you were a show for sin. 

You can’t imagine how happy it made me when you finally stepped up and stopped hiding. It wasn’t that hard, was it? We both wanted it and you finally gave in, a big victory for me. The game, however, can always surprise the players; I guess I was so engrossed in it that I didn’t realize I wasn’t playing anymore. Maybe the cat and the mice weren’t exactly who we thought they were, huh? I was the one truly chased. 

You know I’m not very keen on big confessions of love but I do feel amazing things for you; amazing, new and scary things for you. I cared more than I thought was possible and sometimes I’m a bit worried you’re about to turn me into a romantic fluffy; please don’t, it would so not be attractive. 

Look, I know our relationship is not going to be exactly easy but I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I prefer difficult with you than easy with anyone else, Bambi. See? A total fluffy already. 

Love,

David. 

 

Dear Villa,

I always thought you were evil and you are. Have you any idea of the how ashamed and guilty I felt about a night that never really happened? You could have told me instead of enjoying my misery but I guess that’s who you are, isn’t? You love to play and I have to admit that so do I. 

Sometimes I’m a little bit afraid of the person I keep discovering when I look at the mirror; it’s like he’s me but he’s so much different and I almost feel guilty to change. You have been the biggest change of all. Embracing you means embracing a totally different and challenging part of my personality. It’s still an unknown path: terrifying and exciting, just as you are, just as you’re always been to me. 

I’d like to thank you for being there for me when my dad fell sick. You showed me that this wasn’t just a game, that you were in it for real and you can’t begin to imagine how much it warms my heart. I’m still a little bit afraid, you know? I still believe that one day I’ll wake up and everything was only a fantasy, a game you never really cared about. 

But I hope to never wake up because I like this whole new world. I love how daring you make me be. Yeah, if I had to tell you something it would be how much I like the person I become when I’m with you. You make me fearless and that’s so hot.

Love,

Silva. 

 

“Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts.”

Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is almost done, I may post it tonight or tomorrow. 
> 
> Enjoy!


	34. Breathing Outside the Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The year is coming to an end and it's time to reflect back on it.
> 
> Cristiano and Fábio deal with the aftermath of their fight while Gareth and Leo keep progressing in their strange relationship.

_“I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don't want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It's high time that I accept all the great things about me.”_

_C. JoyBell C._

 

 

 

**Gareth, Silva & Fábio: friendship at its best.**

 

When Silva walked into his friends’ room looking for some information about his disappeared roommate, he was awestruck by what he saw. Fábio was a ball curled around Gareth, his face hidden in the other boy’s neck; they were both lying on the bed and Bale’s shirt was soaked with Fábio’s tears. Silva tried to speak, wanting to understand what was going on, but Gareth brought his index finger to his lips signaling him to stay silent. Silva shrugged and walked to the bed in order to lay behind Fábio and hugged him too. He didn’t know what was going on but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that his friend was deeply hurting.

“Do we want to talk about it?”

Fábio shook his head and Silva sighed. “All right, we don’t want to talk about it.”

Silva and Gareth hugged the blonde tighter, trying to protect him of whatever it was that was hurting him. They thought, somehow, that they could shield their friend from all the dangers of the exterior world not understanding yet that the things that hurt the most come usually from the inside; that’s what make them so damn difficult to fight.

 

 

 

 

**Leo & Cristiano: What have you done?**

 

Leo walked into his room looking for an explanation; what he found was Cristiano laying face down on his bed. He sighed and walked towards the bed, carefully sitting at the end of it, bringing a hand to his friend’s right ankle.

“I just met Blondie in the common room; he actually cried at the mention of your name.”

Leo shook his head, still finding it hard to stomach the vision of a boy crying.

“What happened?”

Cristiano sobbed discreetly before turning his head towards the wall opposite from Leo.  
“Mesut got violent.”

Leo frowned, applying more pressure on Cristiano’s ankle.

“But Blondie is fine, isn’t he?”

“Yes, he was able to stop him.”

“Then fill me in because I was hoping you would be super happy when that moment came; shouldn’t you be snogging Blondie somewhere, celebrating your official come back as the most infuriating couple of this school?”

Cristiano tried to smirk at Leo’s remark but the pain was too much.

“I was hoping exactly the same.”

“Then why are both of you crying?”

“Sergio said some bullshit to him about sending Mesut to a clinic so he wouldn’t actually denounce him.”

“Do you mean Blondie didn’t say anything? He won’t say anything about what that guy did?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Leo remained silent for a few moments, trying to truly understand what Cristiano was actually implying.

“You’re mad because of it. You can’t stand his martyr complex, can you?”

Cristiano suddenly punched his pillow before laying still again.

“He’s not fucking Jesus Christ, godammit! He doesn’t have to save everyone.”

Leo nodded, even though Cristiano couldn’t actually see it.

“It’s just... I don’t get it, man. He’s had the toughest life; he should be smarter for god’s sake! He should know how to protect himself. He should know, better than I do, that the world is full of sick bastards trying to catch you and you shouldn’t go around giving opportunities all the freaking time. He should know better.”

Leo smirked and caressed Cristiano’s ankle lightly to comfort him.

“I think he knows, Cris. If someone around here knows, that’s him.”

Cristiano threw his pillow away and sat up to face Leo.

“Then why the hell is he so damn stupid?”

Leo shrugged before smiling slightly, not knowing exactly what for.

“I guess he made a choice. When you see the worst face of the world, you have to make a choice; you either abandon any hope and concentrate on protecting yourself or you choose to try and make it a better place.”

“What do you know about it, huh?”

“I know because I chose the first one.”

Cristiano eyed Leo carefully, surprised by the deep words he had uttered.

“I get you Cristiano, I totally get it. You’re in love with him and you can’t stand the way he keep endangering himself. You can’t stand to think about Mesut not being punished because he tried to hurt him and you’d do anything to protect him. It just hurts too much so you pushed him away. Better not to have him that to lose him, huh? I get it.”

Cristiano frowned at Leo, knowing there was more to the conversation.

“Normally, you’d have picked my side already and state how Fábio can go to fucking hell for all you care. What’s different?”

Leo bit his lip and looked Cristiano straight in the eyes. “Why did you fall in love with?”

“Huh?”

“Why do you love him? I know love doesn’t work like that but you’ve banged half the school and you’ve never fallen like this. Why Blondie, what makes him special?”

Cristiano sighed and started playing with his hands, trying hard to suppress the automatic smile that showed on his face every time he thought about Fábio.

“I like how selfless he is; I mean, I’ve always been surrounded by people who were so ambitious and he’s so damn generous, so different. I like that he stands up for what he believes, even when it’s difficult. I like how loyal he is, loyal to a fault. I admire his courage; I wish I were as brave as him. I just find he is such a beautiful human being.”

Leo smiled at the dreamy expression on Cristiano’s face and sighed. “See, that’s the problem.”

“Where’s the problem?”

“Every reason you love him is what pushes him to do things such as giving Mesut one more chance. He’s selfless, loyal, and brave and he stands up for what he believes. Don’t ask me why but the guy believes in humanity; of course he’ll behave as fucking Jesus-Christ.”

“I just don’t want to see him hurt.”

“I know you don’t Cris but beautiful human beings don’t just happen. They go through hell and still find the beauty in this world; that’s what makes them so special.”

Leo got closer to Cris and took his larger hands into his smaller ones.

“Look, I’m no specialist in love relationships but I can tell that you’re being totally stupid. You can’t walk away from someone because it would hurt to lose them; in fact, you should cling to that person because it would hurt to lose her.”

“I’m hurting too, you know?”

“I know and you’re partially right but the guy just escaped from a psycho who wanted to kill him because he didn’t love him back then when he came to his boyfriend for comfort, he ended up being dumped. Excuse me if I side with Blondie on this one.”

“I’ve been stupid, haven’t I?”

“I don’t know man but I guess that if you want to be with someone, you have to negotiate things. You can’t quit every time things don’t go your way. You’re not by yourself anymore.”

“I was mad.”

“That’s what you should tell him. Temporary madness; maybe he’ll give you a pass. He does give a lot of chances.”

“I’m not sure I deserve them.”

Leo hugged Cristiano tightly and whispered in his ear.

“It’s going to be all right, Cris. We’re going to be all right, I promise.”

 

 

 

 

**Mourinhos’ class: connecting the dots.**

 

Gareth, Fábio and Silva arrived into class a bit late but Mourinho, seeing Fábio’s red eyes, chose not to comment on it. He waited for all of his students to be at their table, noted the absences, and approached the blackboard without a word. He took a pen and drew a square and its center through nine points:

 

 

He then dropped the pen on the table and started to talk.

“Since you’re never really motivated the last days of school, we’ll do something more interesting.”

“A Math problem?” Stated Gareth comically, hiding his face between his hands.

“Not exactly Bale, although it is certainly a problem to solve. Those are the rules: you must connect the nine dots through four straight lines without the pen leaving the paper once.”

Mourinho put the pen in the air and smirked. “Any voluntary?”

Wayne shrugged and got up in order to reach the blackboard. An exercise they had all thought easy was revealing to be extremely complicated. Wayne tried every possible combination he could think of, always failing. Some dot stayed perpetually unconnected, condemned to eternal isolation. Mourinho’s students succeeded each other at the blackboard, unable to find the solution. Some even stated that it was impossible to do, a trick their teacher was playing on them.

“I guess I’ll have to give the solution then, huh?”

They all groaned but Fábio, who had been observing the burning sun through the window, spoke quietly.

“There is not just one solution.”

Mourinho, who was already facing the blackboard, turned around and smirked. He had not called Fábio to solve the problem, not wanting to add to the boy’s obvious trouble. His student’s mind was somewhere else, certainly not focusing on connecting dots; at least that was what Mourinho had thought. He directed the pen towards Fábio, a silent invitation for him to solve the problem.

The blonde took a deep breath, forgetting everything outside the classroom, and walked towards his teacher. He took the pen without a word and stared at the blackboard for a few seconds before drawing.

 

He then dropped the pen on the table and looked at Mourinho.

“That’s one solution.”

He then returned to his place in silence, amidst the cries of indignation and applauses, Gareth and Silva looking at him with awe.

“But that’s not fair! He didn’t draw the square!”  
Mourinho smiled and laughed softly.

“And who asked you to draw the square? I only demanded from you to connect the nine dots with four straight lines without the pen leaving the paper once. Isn’t that what he has just done?”

“Yes but...”

“Yes but nothing Neymar! That is the whole point of this exercise.”

Gareth groaned. “I don’t think we’re talking about Math anymore.”

Mourinho shrugged. “In fact, we are. Mathematic geniuses do not resolve problems proposing what anyone would.”

The teacher walked forward and sat on his table before sighing.

“I know it has not been an easy year but I believe you have learned a lot. You’re not kids anymore; you have to start finding your own solutions to the problems you face. The nine dots puzzle is very easy to solve and Fábio is right, there is more than one solution and yet people usually struggle with it because they can’t think of drawing outside the lines determined by the square. When we’re used to think in a certain way, we loose perspective; that’s true in math, philosophy, art and life itself.”

Gareth stared at Mourinho with intensity, suddenly thinking back to everything that had happened throughout the year.

“Don’t be afraid to create new perspectives on known matters. Don’t be afraid to advance, to change. Don’t be afraid if you’re the only one who does. Just concentrate on connecting the dots with everything you can use and not only what we normally ask you to use. You’re not the same boys who entered this classroom nine months ago and that is fine; in fact, that is fantastic because it means you’re growing and that’s what people who are alive do. If you have to step outside the square to connect the dots, do not hesitate.”

“What if we’re comfortable into the square? What happens if we miss it?”

Gareth’s question took Mourinho by surprise and Fábio was the one to answer.

“If you’re out, you’re out. You can miss it all you want, it’s not coming back.”

Mourinho nodded. “Life only goes forward boys, make the best of it.”

 

 

 

**Gareth & Fábio: with your best interest at heart.**

 

Gareth sighed looking in front of him. He was glad the training was over because he was certain to not be able to stand Cristiano one more minute. The older boy had been watching Fábio, stealing little glances, all day long and it was unbearable. As the boys gathered their things to leave the pitch, Gareth saw how Cristiano made his way towards the blonde and he jogged faster in order to reach his friend before. He took him by the shoulders and started walking away from Cristiano.

“We need to talk.”

“Gosh, you sound like my octogenarian wife. I’m so tired of talking, Gareth. I feel like I haven’t done anything else in the last days.”

“I know but it’s important, why don’t we go sit on the grass for a little while?”

“Whatever, as you want.”

They walked a little further and sat down in silence.

“He hasn’t stopped looking at you.”

Fábio groaned and lied on the grass. “Stop it.”

“No, he’s trying to talk to you and we both now how it’s going to go.”

“Gareth, please.”

“He’ll tell you how sorry he is, how much he loves you and you’ll forgive him.”

“Would that be so terrible?”  
Gareth looked at Fábio who was watching Cristiano with longing in his eyes.

“You’ll be happy until the next time he breaks your heart.”

“Gareth, look...”

“No, you listen. I don’t like Cristiano, you already know that, but he is right about your martyr complex.”

“Gareth, listen to me.”

“I get it, Fábio, I really do. You’ve had a hard life, you’ve been alone and you’ve been too busy surviving but that has to change. You’re here now and you’ve got people who care about you, I care about you, and you need to take better care of yourself.”

“Gareth, please.”

“Let me finish because you’re not going to like what I’m about to say but I need to say it. Cristiano is right about your martyr complex but he fails to see that it’s what keeps you going back to him. Every time you’re together, he breaks your heart; every single time.”

“You think I haven’t noticed that, Gareth?”

“I’m not saying he’s a bad guy but he shouldn’t be your priority right now, you should be that. Fáb, you need to love yourself and I don’t think you’ll be able to while being with Cristiano.”

“I love him.”

“I know but loving you is more important than loving him. It has to be, Fáb. You’ve been so busy saving everyone else, you need to save yourself now.”

 

 

 

**Ancelotti’s class: the Gordian knot.**

 

The boys were lazily scattered around the tables, waiting for Mr. Ancelotti to come in.

“Where is Sergio?”

Iker approached Cristiano to ask the question but Leo intervened pushing him aside.

“Not here, which is great.”

“But where is he? Come on Leo!”

“With his soul mate, a crazy psycho just like he is!”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Cristiano was shrinking with every word and Leo, noticing it, ended the discussion.

“Now shut up and go to your place. You’re better off without him anyway.”

Iker groaned but obeyed, too tired to pick a fight with Leo Messi of all people.  
The teacher finally arrived and the boys, exhausted, kept calm. Ancelotti frowned, surprised at the scene; with the summer days approaching boys would normally get more energy, desirous to go outside and live far away from any book. Everything usually became a haze where no words could make them silent long enough for them to listen whatever the teacher had to say. That day, however, you would have believed it was a cruel winter day.

“Okay, what’s going on? It’s almost summer, your hormones should be running all over the place.”

The boys merely moved, staring into the abyss. Villa was the one to break the silence.

“It hasn’t exactly been the year we were expecting it to be.”

Ancelotti nodded before questioning: “And is that a bad thing?”

Villa couldn’t help the little smile appearing on his face. “No, not at all but I guess it’s just been more complicated and we’re a little bit tired by now.”

“Things are too complicated. They used to be simple but they’re not anymore.” Mumbled Leo under his breath.

Ancelotti’s eyes widened; the teacher realized that his boys, many of which he had known as small kids, were now becoming young adults; of course things were getting more complicated; summers weren’t as carefree as before, he supposed. He stared at the window for a few moments, letting his eyes scan the younger kids playing on the grass; their spontaneous smiles, cries and laughs ascending into the air.

“Do you know the story about the Gordian knot?”

 

 

Leo groaned, bringing his hands to his eyes. “Please, not a history lection now. Please, have pity of us.”

Ancelotti laughed while the rest of the class approved Leo’s words.

“Alexander, now known as the Great, had arrived in Phrygia. At the time the region had become a mere province of the Persian Empire but it had been a powerful kingdom. Time and time ago, when the Phrygians were without a king, an oracle established that the next man to drive into town with an ox-card would become king. That man was Gordias, a humble peasant, and he was made king; in order to thank the gods, his son Midas tied the ox-cart to a post with an intricate knot of cornel. When Alexander arrived, the knot still attached the ox-cart to the ancient palace of Phrygian kings. Alexander, who never refused a true challenge, decided to untie the knot no one had been able to untie yet. Do you know how he did it?”

A curious silence answered Ancelotti and the teacher kept going. “He took his sword and sliced it into half.”

“That’s cheating!”

Ancelotti laughed wholeheartedly at Robin’s remark and shrugged. “Why? It’s just an alternative solution; in fact it’s called the Alexandrian solution.”

“Why are you telling us this?” Asked Villa, playing with a cigarette under the table.

“Many have interpreted the anecdote as an apology of violence, thinking that solving a problem through the sword is easier and faster.”

“Well, our friend Alex wasn’t exactly a peace champion!”

Ancelotti smiled at Leo. “It’s a bit more complicated than that, don’t you think? Anyway, that’s not what the Gordian knot legend is about.”

“Then about what it is?”

Leo almost sprang from his chair at the sound of Cristiano’s voice; so his friend was alive, it was always good to know.

“Sometimes, things are going to be exactly as you wanted them to be; everything will go as planned and you’ll be perfectly prepared. You should enjoy those times because, boys, they won’t be the majority. Most of the time things are different than we expected to be but that’s not a fatality. Alexander found a solution to his problem; it took a bit of creativity but he found it and so can you when it comes to your own problems.”

Robin smiled in the first row, liking Ancelotti’s story.

“Up to now, you’ve followed a path; you’ve done exactly what was expected from you and that’s great but the path doesn’t go on forever. At one point you’ll have to confront real life which is full of Gordian knots.”

Cristiano frowned, “What if we fail?”

Ancelotti looked at him with an infinite tenderness in his eyes, the one an adult has for a child that still has to go through everything he has.

“Oh, but Cristiano, you will fail many times. We always fail at what it’s new; it’s only natural. Mistakes are an apprenticeship. You will make them and you should; what matters if what you do with those mistakes. Will you go back to the person you were before them or will you use them to evolve? That is the real question and you’re the only one, every one of you, who can answer it. Alexander’s solution wasn’t the most elegant but the one he could figure out. Do you get what I’m saying?”

Cristiano nodded and Ancelotti contemplated him with benevolence.

“If this year has been hardest than the previous one it’s probably because you’ve grown more. Growing up hurts; that’s the way it is.”

 

 

 

**Cristiano & Fábio: priorities.**

 

 

Cristiano approached Fábio and the blonde did nothing to avoid it. He nodded to Silva and Wayne to keep going, he’d be fine. At least that’s what he wanted them to believe, that’s what he wanted to believe himself because, in the inside, he was a nervous wreck. The events of the whole year had slowly come back to hit him in the face in the last couple of days and he was having a hard time digesting them. He had also to wonder what would his life be like during the summer; those people he had met and learned to love had families and friends to come back to, his destination wasn’t as clear as theirs. It would be weird to come back to his world of misery and survival after a year in that luxurious school but, on the other hand, it would also be a huge relief; at least that’s what he hoped for.

Cristiano finally reached him and sat next to him on the bench, silently. Fábio had to smile at his heart’s acceleration; it was funny, he thought, that any kind of rational discourse always ended up thrown through the window when Cristiano was around him. The older boy could almost do anything he wanted and it wouldn’t matter, he’d forgive him in the blink of an eye and it was starting to scare him deeply.

“How are you?”

Sad, terrified, lost because of everything that happened and because of you too. That’s what Fábio really wanted to say but he never said; why do we always do that, he asked in his mind, why do we always silence what we really mean? It’s like we don’t want to bother the rest of the world with our insignificant problems.

“Still shaken.”

Cristiano nodded and bit his lip slightly; Fábio knew by now that Cristiano always did that when he was nervous about something, that is to say when he was about to do something very important for him.

“Can we talk?”

“I don’t think we can not talk.”

“I am sorry, Fáb. I know you must be sick of hearing that from me but you have to understand my side of the story. Can you imagine how scared I was? If he had hurt you, Fáb... God, I don’t know what I would have done.”

Fábio looked at Cristiano while he uttered those words and saw nothing but truth in them.

“Then you come and tell me you’re not going to denounce him... That’s crazy, man! And I know it’s because you’re a good guy, I know it’s a generous act but it’s unfair, stupid and dangerous.”

“It may be unfair, stupid and dangerous but it was my decision. You can’t expect to agree with every one of my decisions.”

“But it’s not only your life anymore, Fábio! Now it’s ours and that’s what I was so mad about. You can’t go around sacrificing yourself as if it doesn’t matter, it matters to me! You have to take me into account.”

“The same way you take me into account every time you fuck things up? Every time there is an obstacle, you just send everything to hell. I needed you and you broke up with me.”

“I didn’t do that... I asked for time.”

“Oh, come on Cris!”

Cristiano took a deep breath and signaled his boyfriend to calm down with a gesture of his hands.

“You’re right, okay? What I did was wrong and inadequate. What can I say? I was mad and I didn’t think.”

“You never think, that’s the problem.”

“And you never ask for my opinion!”

Fábio sighed and let his head drop onto the wall behind him.

“Look, let’s stop right now, okay? I don’t want us to fight. I don’t want to fight anymore. I am tired, Cris. I am tremendously tired.”

Cristiano nodded at his boyfriend and tried to take Fábio’s hands into his but the blonde didn’t let him. He sat so he could face Cristiano and tried to compose his thoughts as much as he could. He hoped words wouldn’t fail him.

“I know you were mad and worried. I understand your reaction and you may be right. I probably should have asked for your opinion but I don’t know if I’m ready for that, okay?”

“But, Fábio...”

“No, Cris. You always talk and I listen but this time it’s going to be the other way around. You’ve had family, as bad as it as, and friends but I’ve only got myself. I never had to ask for anyone else’s opinion and it’s not an easy thing for me to do.”

“Baby, I know that. I’m just asking you to work on it.”

“That’s the problem, Cristiano. I’ve got too many things to work on right now.”

“What are you saying?”

“You are right, I do have some kind of martyr complex and I guess it’s tied to some form of self destruction.”

“We’ll get through it, Fáb.”

“But we can’t, don’t you see? I’m used to being hurt, I’m so used to being hurt that I’m not sure I deserve any better. You’re right, I do need to change that and I can’t do it with you.”

“Why? I’ve never thought that about you, Fábio. You deserve so much better.”

“I know but that’s what I think about myself and every time you and I are together, my heart breaks and I still come back.”

“Fábio...”

“No, I’m not saying it’s only your fault but it is what it is. I need to think about me right now. Things have changed so much and I just... I need time. I need to be my priority and I can’t be that with you around because otherwise you’ll always get the first position.”

“Fábio, don’t do this.”

“I need time, Cris. I’m not asking you to wait for me or anything but if I come back and you’re still there then maybe we can do better next time but right now I need to do this on my own.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You were right, Cris. I need to choose me without feeling guilty for that. I need to choose me over anybody else for once, including you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too but I also need to love myself, at least a little bit.”

Fábio kissed Cristiano’s lips gently one last time before standing up and walking away in a hurry. If he had stayed any longer, his will would have probably broke and he would have gave into Cristiano’s demands right away. As much as he wanted to turn back and run into the other boy’s arms, he knew he couldn’t. Gareth had been right; he needed this at the moment.

 

 

 

**Leo & Gareth: embracing the unexpected.**

 

When Leo approached the field, Gareth was taking shots from a distance. He bit the inside of his cheeks, debating what to do. He had overheard Gareth at dinner telling his friends he would practice a bit before going to bed; it was an accident, Leo wasn’t trying to catch the boy’s words, not at all... It was purely accidental; at least that’s what he told himself. He then had ended his dinner and discreetly followed Gareth. But now that he was a few meters from the younger boy, he wasn’t so sure it had been a good idea. Should he go over there? Gareth had not invited him this time... A ball passing two centimeters away from his head interrupted Leo’s thoughts; I have just witnessed death closely, he thought.

“You’re so lucky I didn’t actually go for your head!”

Gareth was looking at him, arms crossed and a scowl written on his face.

“Are you fucking nuts? You could have hit me!”

“Please, I’m good enough to correctly direct a ball. Plus, it wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t lurking in the shadows.”

“I, I, I wasn’t lurking!”

Gareth smirked at Leo’s stuttering; it was almost cute.

“Sure, and what were you doing exactly?”

“I, I was just passing by!”

“You were passing by the football field after dinner? A casual stroll, huh?”

“Exactly that!”

Gareth turned around and went back to his kicks, shaking his head while smiling a little.

“Are you coming or what?”

Leo’s head shot up at Gareth’s question and he blushed while joining the other boy.

“Let’s kick some balls.”

When the boys looked at their watches, they couldn’t really believe how time had flown by.

“Fuck, I didn’t want to leave Fáb alone tonight!”

Gareth quickly shot the last ball and put his sweater back on.

“You’re leaving?”

“I have to, my best friend is a wreck because of yours. I’m already late.”

Even today, Leo couldn’t really tell what got over him in that moment; it might have been the adrenaline circulating through his body after hours running and shooting; it might have been the fact that Gareth’s face was mere inches away from his; it might have been the elation contained in a summer night’s breeze or all of the above but the fact is that Leo’s hands went to Gareth’s face and, in a matter of seconds, his lips were on Gareth’s. They were both so engrossed in the moment that neither one of them saw the shadow of a half sad boy contemplating the scene before walking slowly away from it.

It didn’t last much and the younger boy barely moved, too surprised to understand what was happening. He only had the time to feel a soft pressure on his lips, pretty pleasurable, before Leo jumped away, a deep blush tainting his cheeks.

“I,I,I... I kissed you.”

Leo uttered the sentence more to him that to Gareth but they both heard it all the same. They stayed there for a moment, looking into each other’s eyes, waiting for something else than confusion. After a few seconds Gareth shook his head and walked down towards the school. He had other things to deal with. Leo stayed a bit longer on the field, barely moving, trying to comprehend what the heck he had just done.

 

 

**Leo & Cristiano: drinking our sorrows away**

 

 

Leo entered his room running; he opened the door, closed it loudly and stayed his back glued to it. He looked at Cristiano and immediately said:

“Fuck, I kissed Gareth Bale.”

His best friend frowned at him, smirked a little then snorted before answering:

“Fábio needs time away from me. I believe I’ve been dumped.”

“Technically, you were the one to dump him.”

“Fuck you, you just kissed Gareth Bale!”

Leo frowned, sighed and pouted before walking towards his bed and taking some plastic bags from underneath. He soon took out liquor bottles that he scattered on his bed.

“Fuck it, we need this.”

The two friends spent the night drinking away their sorrows, trying hard to forget that tomorrow would bring them back anyway.

 

 

 

_“When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.”_

_Jimmy Breslin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make it nice and long for you, I hope you like it!
> 
>  
> 
> One more chapter to go and Season 1 will be over. Season 2 coming soon!
> 
>  
> 
> Cheers,
> 
> Clems.


	35. The Year That Changed Our Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The year comes to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear readers,
> 
> Here ends the first season of The Elite Way School. I sincerely want to thank you for this wonderful ride. I can't believe yet how many readers, kudos and bookmarks this story has. I want to thank you for the time you have taken to comment, establishing a wonderful relationship between writer and readers. It's been an absolute pleasure to write this and I hope you'll enjoy the last chapter. 
> 
> Ps: the last chapter of season one of course, season two will be here soon enough!
> 
> Love,
> 
> Clems.

_“It will hit you suddenly like a bold splits a tree at night. You’ll be doing something totally usual like drinking you coffee, some stupid homework or walking your dog then it will hit you that things will never be the same. You will never be the same. And it won’t matter if you like it or not; it won’t matter if you cry and kick all the way down or you smile blissfully at it because you have no say in the matter. Do not worry though, it only means you’re alive. There’s no way to go through life unchanged; if you do, you’re doing something wrong. Breathe in, breathe out and discover how things are going to be from then on, who you’re going to be from then on.”_

 

_Myself._

 

  1. **Nothing Will Ever Be The Same**



 

 

Leo observed his friends carefully: Villa was telling some dirty joke of his own collection; Cristiano was busy feigning to laugh; Neymar and Marcelo were doing something stupid –did they ever do something else?-; Robin was making googly eyes at Fernando who was staring at him from the other side of the room; Xabi was typing some shit into his phone, probably to Álvaro and Iker, who had recently been welcomed back into their group, was smiling at the rest of the boys. Leo smirked thinking back about last year, realizing how familiar the image of his boys still was. Do not judge a book by its cover, they say, and Leo had never understood the saying better than at the moment; the image in front of him may have looked similar to the ones he had seen a year ago but it had nothing to do.

 

It was funny, he thought. If you looked around, everything was the same: the stones the building was made of had been there for centuries and nothing, not even wars, had moved them; the benches along the corridors had been the same since he came to this school, already long ago; the refectory, the library, the classrooms... Everything was exactly the same as it was the year before, the year before that and even before any of them had come in. Even his boys, thought Leo, did not look so different; if you didn’t look closely, they were pretty much the same: Villa had his devilish smirk on, Cristiano’s cheeks were blushing as every time Villa told a joke of him; Xabi and Iker were the calm ones and he the silent. They were pretty much the same but only if you didn’t look carefully. If you made the effort, if you took the time to take a deeper look, you’d see how changed they really were: there was now a sweetness in Villa’s eyes that wasn’t there before; sure, he still told dirty jokes laughing loudly and purring like a cat but there was something soft about him now, little glances stolen at a table far away in between jokes and no intention to flirt with any of them even for fun. Cristiano’s smile didn’t really reached his eyes anymore and yet he seemed more alive than he had ever been; there was something truer about him, a strength that was not there before and that didn’t come from hours in the gym, talent on the pitch or some looks at the mirror... No, it was strength from within, emanating from the conviction that not everything was written down just yet, that he could still be the author of his own story. Neymar and Marcelo were still clowns, being happy and making everyone else happy too but their actions were now more natural and relaxed; they did not hang onto every word Leo said or every gesture Cristiano made waiting for it to mean something it never meant, they were freer now. Xabi and Robin, as calm as they had always been, had lighters eyes and deeper smiles; strengthened by a love they never knew they could feel. Even Iker had nothing to do with the boy he was anymore; you could still see the scars of his mistakes –those, as anybody else’s, would never leave- but his shoulders didn’t look crushed anymore by the weight of betrayal.

 

With those thoughts, Leo looked across the room and looked at a table he would have never stopped to look at a year before. Gareth, they guy he kissed and hasn’t talked to since it happened, was shoving Blondie’s shoulder playfully while Fábio rolled his eyes at him. Leo shook his head knowing that those two were the principal prove of how much everything had changed. Silva, a shy boy always hiding into a corner a year ago, was now loudly laughing and looking shamelessly at Villa from his place. Leo laughed to himself, realizing that sooner or later he would have to talk to Gareth. After all, there was just one more day to go: a football game against teachers, a party to celebrate then they would all walk into the summer. He wouldn’t see Gareth in two long months, two months and a half to be exact, and he shouldn’t go on vacation before solving their little kiss but what was there really to solve? Leo looked at the window and sighed contently, contemplating the sun coming through the glass. He closed his eyes and concentrated on feeling a heath he couldn’t really feel and that’s when it hit him: things would never been the same, they would never be the same and it wouldn’t matter if Cristiano and Blondie never made it or he and Gareth never talked again because there was no turning back anymore. The feeling was so overwhelming all of a sudden, so enormous, that he blurted it out in the middle of a conversation he wasn’t paying attention to.

 

“We’ll never be the same. We’ll never be the same, ever again.”

 

It came out as a sentence, the recognition of evidence he could no longer hold inside. His friends’ gazes suddenly fell onto him but he didn’t care because he hadn’t uttered those words for them but because he needed them to exist, he needed to be outside so he could realize how true they were. A strange silence fell upon the table and his gazed found Cristiano’s, a mutual understanding passing by. It wasn’t about it being good or bad, it was about it being irrevocable. They didn’t know it yet but they were finally touching with the tip of their fingers what defined adulthood; in childhood, nothing was ever permanent: you could insult your parents and love them deeply the second afterwards, you could cry while falling then smile crazily seeing the place you were headed to, you could swear to never ever be friends again at a break then swear eternal friendship the next day... Nothing was ever permanent. Adulthood was about recognizing that things would always be permanent; the words you didn’t say and wanted to, the ones you would take back but threw out, the persons you stopped calling and the ones you should have stopped calling anyway, the train you should have taken but never took... Second chances were not a given anymore. That year the boys had crossed their first border, the first one they could not undo and that’s why, time later, when they talked about that eventful year, they would always refer to it as the year that changed their lives.

 

 

**2\. Wish Me Luck And Don’t Cry As You Say Goodbye.**

 

 

Ricky looked at the man handing him the papers one last time then took a deep breath. He shot a look at his father, looking for support, and then took the pen with a shaking hand but a smiling heart. He signed on every page and laughed a bit when it was all done, still not totally conscious of how much his life had changed at the exact moment the ink caressed the paper slightly. They all shook hands and left the room, leaving Ricky’s dad to congratulate him warmly.

 

Gareth, who was passing by when he heard the entire hurdle, was standing at the door. Ricky’s dad saw his boy’s old friend and smiled at him before looking at his son and caressing his hair. He then decided to leave the two old friends alone for a little chat, telling his son he would come by tomorrow to help him move everything out.

 

“Hey.”

 

Gareth knew it wasn’t the most eloquent thing to say but it had been awhile since he and Ricky had a real conversation, only the two of them, and it felt somehow awkward.

 

“Hey back.”

 

Ricky smiled at Gareth, really smiled at him; he smiled as he did before Cristiano, before his and Gareth’s fall down, before the other boy started spending more and more times with others than him. For a moment, Gareth felt a bit younger; it was almost as if the past two years had never existed, almost.

 

“You can come in, you know. I don’t bite.”

 

Gareth shook his head and walked into the room, sitting at the chair in front of the study table.

  
“Don’t look so uncomfortable. You used to spend all your time here, remember?”

 

“Yeah, my room was always full of someone.”

 

Ricky snorted and smiled fondly at all the memories realizing, for the first time, that they did not hurt anymore.

 

“So, who were those guys?”

 

Ricky bit at his lip and it suddenly hit him that he hadn’t told anything to anybody yet.

“Agents from a Brazilian football club, a good one.”

 

“That’s great, man! What did they want?”

 

“They just signed me.”

 

Gareth smiled broadly and jumped at his friend to hug him tightly. He felt incredibly happy for Ricky; if someone deserved to be signed, it was him. He had always admired his work ethic and his amazing class, that was something you couldn’t train; Ricky was a natural, one of those who end up figuring in football’s history books. It felt a bit odd hugging him; there was nothing odder than something that has once been familiar and is not anymore. It was like coming home only that you sold it away and the house doesn’t belong to you anymore. He finally separated himself from the other boy and sat next to him, the smile never leaving his face.

 

“So that’s it, huh? One year to go and you already have everything figured out, it’s so like you Ricky!”

 

Ricky stared at Gareth intensely for a few seconds, wondering how to condense the last months in a few words and coming to the terrible conclusion that sometimes, most of the time, you just can’t.

  
“It’s not like that.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“They signed me for right now. I’m not coming back next year. I’m playing football next year, for real.”

 

Years later, when asked about that particular event, Gareth would always remember the cold chill that ran through his spine at those words. He would still wonder how on Earth he had not seen it coming. Sometimes, too many times, you take people for granted and they don’t always come back.

 

“But, but... You can’t do that, Ricky.”

 

“That was the point of this school all along, wasn’t it? To play football.”

 

“Yeah but you can play football in a year. You haven’t finished yet.”

 

“Yes I have, there’s nothing keeping me here anymore.”

 

And the words were so powerful, so full of final implications that Gareth could only looked at Ricky in silence for a few minutes before recovering his voice.

 

“But it was you and I, remember? You and I in this together, until the end.”

 

Ricky smiled sadly at Gareth before caressing his cheek with tenderness.

 

“But there’s no you and I anymore, is there? We’ve barely seen each other those last months, at least really seen each other.”

 

“But...”

 

“It’s fine, Gareth. You’ll be fine.”

 

“No, I won’t. I don’t know how to do this shit without you.”

 

And to anybody from the outside world, the conversation wouldn’t have made any sense because Ricky was absolutely right; he and Gareth had barely been the best of friends for the last months and the younger boy would be perfectly fine without him but it wasn’t that easy, it never was that easy. For years, they had been a duo; for years, they had known that the other was there and, even if they didn’t see each other so much anymore, that knowledge had always helped Gareth to sleep at night and face the world at day. Ricky squeezed his eyes shut and remembered the kiss he had contemplated the night before, believing Gareth wouldn’t need him anymore; he had someone who cared now, he’d be fine.

  
“I wish things would have worked out differently but that’s how it happened. It’s not your fault and it’s not mine; it’s just what happened. We’ll both be fine.”

“You’re not leaving because of me, right? Please, tell me you’re not leaving because of me.”

 

He knew it could sound pretentious but the question needed to be out in the open. He couldn’t keep going without a negative answer to that question.

 

“Of course not, you idiot. This is a chance in a lifetime, I can’t let it pass.”

 

That was true but it was not all the truth; of course Gareth had played a role in his decision, there was really nothing keeping him there any longer.

 

“They’ll be more chances.”

 

“Yeah, that’s what we always believe but we can’t really know, can we?”

 

And Gareth wanted to answer back but couldn’t because he had believed there would be more chances for he and Ricky and he was sure Ricky had believed the same thing and yet the second chance had never come.

 

“I’d like you to...”

 

Ricky’s index finger on Gareth’s lips protected them both from the mistake he was about to make.

 

“Don’t. Just don’t.”

 

And no more words were needed because sometimes the less you say, the more you mean.

 

“Then what should I do?”

 

“Wish me luck and don’t cry as you say goodbye.”

 

“You’d be the one crying.”

“Probably.”

 

“This is not the end, right?”

 

“It’s never the end, it’s just until we meet again.”

 

“Yeah, maybe we’ll do better the next time around, huh?”

 

“I’m sure we will.”

 

Then they hugged each other tightly, not wanting to let go of all the years they had shared.

 

 

 

  1. **I Know What You’ll Do Next Summer**



 

 

Silva was writing down furiously when Fábio closed the door to his room and sat in the bed, facing him.

 

“I never pegged you for the writing kind of lad.”

 

“I’m not, not usually at least.”

 

“And what are you writing about? Oh, let me guess, it’s a love letter to Villa, right? Knowing you two it could be a porn one.”

 

“Hey, asshole! May I remind you I’m the only virgin in this room?”

 

Fábio snorted before lying down on his bed.

 

“Not for long.”

 

Balls of paper soon hit his blond head, elating a beautiful laugh from him.

  
“Anyway, it’s not a love letter to Villa. In fact, I’m writing... Well, I’m writing to Mesut.”

 

Fábio looked at Silva surprised and smiled slightly when he saw the apprehension on his friend’s face.

 

“It’s okay, I’m not going to hate you for writing to him.”

 

“It’s just... I know he was horrible to you but he’s been my friend for years and we’ve been through a lot together...”

 

“Hey, Silva, you don’t owe me any explanation.”

 

Silva sighed, dropped the pen on the table, and turned around to look at Fábio.

 

“What is it?”

 

The blonde asked and Silva smiled at how he could never hide anything from his friend.

 

“Sometimes I feel guilty.”

 

“Guilty about Mesut?”

 

Silva nodded rolled his shoulders to alleviate some of the tension that was weighing him down.

  
“We weren’t that different, you see? We were both scared boys, only wanting a bit of peace. Sometimes I feel like it’s not fair I got Villa and he got Sergio. Some days I just feel I could be in his place.”

 

“No, you wouldn’t.”

  
“What do we know?”

 

“We do know. Don’t torment like this, Silva. It’s not worthy. Enjoy your happiness for awhile, you never know how much it will last.”

 

Silva frowned at the bitterness in Fábio’s last words and shut his eyes.

 

“I should have been a better friend.”

 

“You couldn’t have done anything. What has happened to Mesut is bigger than you and I, bigger than Sergio and the years of abuse.”

 

“I should have paid more attention but I was too involved with Villa.”

 

“It’s not your fault. Mesut is sick and he needs the help. Do write to him, yeah? Show him some support, show him that there are still people who care, people to come back to.”

 

Silva nodded and smiled gratefully at the blonde.

 

“I haven’t told you yet but I wanted to say thank you for not denouncing him. It must have been a tough decision to make.”

 

Fábio shrugged and sighed.

 

“I’m not the kind of lad who can judge others. I wouldn’t have been able to take that chance from him.”

 

“I’m sorry it coasted you your relationship with Cristiano.”

 

Fábio snorted and smiled bitterly.

 

“There’s always something coasting me my relationship with Cristiano. If it hadn’t been that, it would have been something else. That relationship is just fatally flawed.”

 

Silva looked at Fábio and smiled knowingly.

 

“You’ll keep coming back to each other, it’s just how you two work.”

 

“See, what did I tell you? Fatally flawed. So, let’s not talk about my tragic sentimental life. What are you doing this summer?”

 

“Going home and enjoying that my dad is okay. Plus, this time I won’t have nightmares about coming back which is really amazing.”

  
“No Villa?”

 

“Are you crazy? His parents would crucifix him. We have a special date tonight to say goodbye.”

 

Fábio smirked knowingly at Silva.

 

“Huh, so tonight is the moment you lose it. Let’s hope you’re conscious this time around.”

 

Silva took the first pillow he could find and threw him at his friend’s face.

 

“You don’t trick me into your sweet boy act, you’re a total brat!”

 

“Finally! I was hoping someone would realize it.”

 

“So, brat, what are you going to do this summer?”

 

“I don’t know. I wanted to go back, see how things are going, visit some people but Gareth keep insisting on taking me home with him.”

 

“You should go.”

 

“Should I?”

  
“Yes, there’s no need to go back there.”

Fábio smiled sadly at his friend and looked through the window. He couldn’t explain to them something they couldn’t understand. He couldn’t tell them that it wasn’t that simple. He couldn’t tell them that the shithole they wanted to take him out from forever was his past and, somehow, his home even if it was a shitty one. They couldn’t understand that he didn’t feel worthy of a better home, at least not yet.

 

 

 

  1. **This Is The Weirdest Relationship I’ve Ever had.**



 

 

Leo spotted Gareth out of luck. He was walking by when he saw the younger boy sat on a bench, looking into the distance. He had no intention of stopping when Gareth’s voice interrupted escape.

 

“Are you going to avoid me forever? It’s getting a bit annoying now.”

 

Leo frowned at Gareth before sighing and sitting next to the Welsh boy. How come he always took him by surprise? Leo was very good at reading people and anticipating their every gesture and move but with Gareth his talent didn’t seem to apply. He never knew how to act around that boy so he sat there in silence, wondering when had he conceded to throw out all of his power inside the relationship.

 

“My best friend is leaving school.”

 

“We all are.”

 

Gareth rolled his eyes and slapped Leo’s head slightly.

 

“Not that, you idiot. He’s leaving for good, not coming back next year.”

 

“Oh, I see. Wait, Blondie is leaving school?”

 

“Not that best friend, my childhood best friend.”

 

Leo frowned at Gareth, absolutely lost in the conversation.

 

“The one your best friend screwed up before screwing up Blondie.”

 

“Stop it, Cris don’t go around screwing people... Well, he kind of does but that’s not the point!”

 

Gareth looked at Leo, sufficiency written all over his face.

 

“Absolutely, the point is that Ricky is leaving.”

 

“Oh, you meant Kaká. What is he leaving for?”

 

“He got signed.”

 

“That’s great. That’s the kind of thing you should happy about, right?”

 

“I was a shitty friend.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I was in love with Ricky but he fell for Cris and I got mad because I knew he would get his heart broken which is exactly what happened. Then Ricky realized he was in love with me but I was too mad then Blondie came and this school exploded and I really don’t know why I am telling you all of that.”

 

“Yeah, neither do I.”

 

Leo looked at Gareth, confusion written all over his face, before asking the only question he could think of.

  
“Well, do you still love him?”

 

“No. I don’t think so, not like that at least. I don’t know. I just don’t want him to leave.”

 

“Yeah, well, it’s a great chance for him. If you care that much, I guess you should be happy for him even if you’re sad for you. Do I make any sense?”

 

Gareth shrugged before knocking his head with the wall behind him.

 

“At least more sense than when you kiss me out of the blue.”

 

Leo could instantly feel the blush swallowing whole. Gareth looked at him and smirked.

 

“Don’t worry though, the whole year has been out of the blue. It’s not just you.”

 

Leo swallowed and stared at the wall in front of him, avoiding Gareth’s gaze.

 

“I guess one more thing out of the blue won’t hurt.”

 

Once those words were out of his mouth, the Welsh boy turned to face Leo and brought his hands to the boy’s neck pulling him closer until their lips were touching once again. The kiss was nothing like the one Leo had given him a few days ago; there was nothing hesitant or sweet about it, it was rough and intense with tongues dwelling each other. Gareth ended the kiss in a rush, exactly the way he had started it. Leo looked at him, his lips swollen, and stuttered: “You-you-you kissed me.”

 

Gareth shook his head and snorted.

 

“That’s the only reaction you’ve got to kissing people?”

 

He smirked before leaving a stunned Leo behind, mumbling as he disappeared down the corridor: _“This has to be the weirdest relationship I have ever had...”_

 

  1. **Losing One Of Ours**



 

 

When he entered the room, a sad smile on his face and Xabi on his arm, every face turned to look at him. Gareth was the first one to walk to him, anxiously waiting for an answer.

“So?”

 

They had all been patiently waiting for Álvaro’s evaluation. Every year, the pupils of the school were evaluated by a commission that decided if they could stay or not. The rich kids, of course, had nothing to worry about; as bad as their year had been –whether it was academically or athletically- a solution was always found; those who got into the school thanks to scholarships, however, were at high risk at every evaluation. Álvaro entered in none of the categories anymore but his situation was specially delicate, only depending on Florentino’s gratitude towards his parents. Álvaro’s performances had been weak lately and all of his friends had sat in the common room, anxiously waiting for the commission to deliver their decision. Álvaro smiled at Xabi who nodded before leaving his boyfriend some time to chat with his friends alone.

 

“I’m out.”

 

The reactions were diverse; Wayne and Gareth kicked the first item he could find while Silva started crying. Ricky and Fábio simply looked at Álvaro, sadness in their eyes.

  
“Come on, guys. We knew it was coming.”

 

“It’s fucking unfair! A lot of things happened to you this year, of course you wouldn’t be focused! They should take it into account.”

 

Wayne’s outburst took everyone by surprise; they were used to him being silent most of the time and it had taken a long time to warm up to Álvaro.

 

“He’s right. There must be something that we can do... Maybe if we sign a petition or go to talk to the teachers...”

 

“Gareth, stop it. It’s over.”

 

“But it can’t be over!”

  
“But it is. It’s great to see you ready to change things but this one isn’t worth the fight. It’s okay, I’m okay.”

 

“I can’t believe you’re giving up without a fight.”

 

Wayne left mumbling angrily and Álvaro smiled sadly at his friend. He was happy to have had that last year at the school; he had the chance to start his relationship with Xabi and get all those amazing new friends. It had been worth it.

 

“You didn’t really want to stay, did you?”

 

Fábio’s question surprised everyone else but Álvaro only smiled.

 

“There are more important things in life than football. My mother need me and we can’t afford having me this. She wouldn’t have let me drop out.”

 

Fábio smirked knowingly and walked to Álvaro in order to hug him tight. Álvaro hugged him back, whispering into his ear.

  
“Thank you, man. If you hadn’t let me stay in your room, I don’t know where I’d be today.”

 

“It was only fair.”

 

“You always say that but it’s so not true. It was amazing. Everything you’ve done for us is amazing.”

 

“Take care, yeah?”

  
“Sure, brother.”

 

Silva looked at the two as they separated.

 

“Stop crying you twat! It’s fine, I swear!”

 

Álvaro approached him and ruffled his hair earning a smile from Silva.

 

“What about Xabi?”

 

Gareth asked, sighing deeply.

 

At the same moment, Xabi was talking to his friends.

  
“I’m leaving.”

 

Gaps echoed from the table. Leo was the first to talk.

  
“And why would you do such a stupid thing?”

 

“They threw Álvaro out. You know how much his family need him anyway. I’m moving back to Madrid with him.”

 

Cristiano stared at Xabi, mouth agape. They had never been really close but the news were still hard to swallow. Iker snorted, shaking his head while Robin smiled at Xabi and Marcelo & Neymar made little hearts with their hands.

 

“Okay, I rectify. It’s not such a stupid thing to do. It’s the most stupid thing you’ll ever do.”

 

“I didn’t expect you, of all people, to understand Leo.”

 

Leo snorted and shook his head.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m cold hearted jerk, blablablabla but this is stupid, Xabi. Relationships end. They do everyday. You shouldn’t throw away an opportunity like this for a teenage love.”

  
“You can’t understand.”

 

“And I hope I’ll never be able to. Take care, Xabi. Have a good life in Madrid.”

 

As Leo left Xabi started to say talk with everyone of the boys until he came to Cristiano. He shook his hand and the taller boy looked at him, frowning.

 

“You’re making a mistake.”

 

“It’s all about priorities, Cristiano. You need to start defining your priorities. I know mine.”

 

Then everything was said and done.

 

 

 

  1. **The First Time.**



 

Villa stared at Silva enjoying every minute of it. The younger boy was extremely anxious, tapping his foot against the floor. They had both agreed to a romantic dinner, far away from anyone who could disturb their privacy; that’s how they had ended up in Villa’s room and, to be more specific, on Villa’s bed. Champagne, chocolates, strawberries, oysters... Silva felt the protagonist of an erotic movie he hadn’t signed to be in.

 

Villa, mischievously, caressed Silva’s stomach lightly and his boyfriend jumped without realizing. The only reaction Villa was capable of was a laugh attack.

 

“What’s up with you?”

 

Silva looked at his boyfriend and shook his head.   
  
“Nothing in particular. I’m just tired, I guess.”

 

Villa hummed his approval while smirking; if Silva wanted to play that game, he’d gladly help.

  
“Let’s relax you then, shall we?”

He approached his boyfriend and took off his shirt excruciatingly slowly before starting a nice massage on his shoulders.

 

“Better?”

 

“Y-y-yes.”

 

In fact, he wasn’t better at all. Villa could notice how, with every touch, Silva’s body became more tense. He therefore started to sensually kiss his neck, biting and licking along until Silva, red as a tomato and heavily sweating, jumped away from the bed this time.

 

“So, are you going to tell me what’s up or do we need to keep playing this absurd game of yours longer?”

 

Silva sighed and hugged himself, suddenly painfully aware of his nakedness above the waist.

  
“It’s not I don’t want to, it’s just I’m nervous I guess.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Oh come on, David! The bed, the chocolate, the strawberries, the oysters, you taking off my tee shirt... I’m not stupid. I know what’s coming.”

 

Villa looked at his boyfriend amused and smiled.

 

“Really? Then please enlighten me.”

 

“You want us to... you know, for the first time.”

 

Villa sighed and sat himself straighter on the bed.

 

“First of all, you shouldn’t be so scared of saying it. It’s called sex, not Voldemort all right? Secondly, I don’t get why you’re so nervous about a tee-shirt being taken off, it’s not like we’ve done absolutely nothing already.”

 

Silva blushed under Villa’s gaze, remembering the intimacy they had already shared.

 

“Last but not least, sometimes I think you don’t know me at all.”

 

Silva frowned at Villa trying to decipher the smugness on his face until realization hit him.   
  
“Of course, of course you would play me.”

 

Villa laughed out loud; Silva looked like a five year old who has been tricked into going to the dentist by promising him a trip to Disneyland.

 

“You knew I’d jump to conclusions...”

 

“I’m sorry but you’re just too damn easy! Although it’s good to know it’s not something you don’t want...”

 

“It’s just...”

 

“Hey, why don’t you stop stressing about it? It’s not that big of a thing.”

 

“No?”

 

“Not as good as they say and not as bad as they tell.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Nothing to worry about. Why don’t you just come back to the bed, enjoy the dinner and see where it leads us?”

 

Silva bit his lip smiling at Villa who knew at that moment that sweet boy would be the death of him. 

 

 

  1. **Another Year By Your Side.**



 

 

Leo was lying on his bed at night, still shaken about Gareth’s kiss, when Cristiano came in. The room was full of Leo’s clothes and things, all scattered over the place; a real mess.

 

“What the hell! Why haven’t you started packing yet?”

 

Leo shrugged, his eyes riveted on the ceiling.

 

“Leo, we leave tomorrow, remember?”

 

Leo nodded, still looking at the ceiling. Cristiano sighed and opened his own suitcase.

 

“Whatever, but tomorrow don’t come and tell me you don’t have time or enough space for your things or whatever.”

 

Leo’s only answer was to put his legs in the air and keep staring at the ceiling. In the meanwhile, Cristiano maniacally tidied everything.

 

“You’re weirder each day I swear. Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

 

“Gareth kissed me. Like really kissed me, with tongue and everything.”

 

“Gross, spare me the details. Shouldn’t you be... Wait, what should you be exactly?”

 

“I don’t know. Nothing’s ever normal between us.”

 

Cristiano shook his head, smirking the whole way.

 

“It’s not like you are normal, you couldn’t expect a normal relationship. At least, you could have pick a guy that hated me a bit less.”

  
“I didn’t pick him. I would have never picked him.”

 

“Whatever. What does this make you two?”

 

“Don’t know, nothing special I guess. He was shaken because Kaká is leaving.”

 

Cristiano stopped his activity and sat on his bed to look at Leo.

 

“What do you mean Ricky is leaving?”

 

“He got signed by a team. He’s not coming back in September.”

 

After a few minutes of silence, Leo sat straight to look at Cristiano.

 

“I didn’t know it would shake you that bad.”

 

“Yeah, neither did I.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“It’s just... It’s just everyone seems to have go forward but me, you know? Last year at this time of the year I was losing Ricky and now I’ve lost Fábio. It’s like I can’t do anything but losing the people I care about.”

 

Leo sighed before getting up to sat next to Cristiano, passing an arm over his shoulders.

 

“That’s not true. You’ve been through a lot this year and you’ve changed too.”

 

“Maybe not enough.”

 

“Hey, why would you want to change enough? We’ve got plenty of years to mature. Just take your time, enjoy it while it lasts.”

 

Cristiano smiled gratefully at Leo.

 

“Hmm, what would I do without you, huh?”

 

“Don’t know, probably drown yourself in an ocean of meaningless and unprotected sex to end up as some rock star who’ll be in decadence by the time he reaches twenty-eight. Shit man, that doesn’t sound too bad. Maybe you should ditch me after all.”

 

Cristiano laughed and hid his head in the crook of Leo’s neck.

 

“Never.”

 

“See? That’s something that hasn’t changed and won’t change. Another year by your side, man.”

 

“Another year by your side.”

 

 

  1. **Partying It Out.**



 

 

Every year at the school ended with a big party full of music, fun and people. The students could finally let it all out; it was the official beginning of summer.

 

Cristiano, usually the party’s soul, was sitting on the grass, sipping at some cola while looking at Fábio who was happily dancing with Gareth and Silva; at least until Ricky’s body blocked his view.

 

“Sorry to interrupt the staring contest.”

 

Cristiano blushed immediately and asked himself when had Ricky got so blunt.

 

“I wasn’t staring.”

 

The Brazilian snorted and shook his head, smiling.

 

“Sure thing.”

  
“I heard you’re leaving us?”

 

“Yeah, it’s not an opportunity I can let pass by me without taking it.”

 

“Absolutely Ricky, you deserve it.”

 

“Someday it will be you.”

 

“I doubt it. I don’t play football anymore, remember?”

 

Ricky smiled and looked into the direction Cristiano was staring some seconds ago.

 

“Yeah well, some things are addicting enough to keep you coming back.”

 

Cristiano smirked and shook his head.

 

“I’m gonna miss you, Ricky.”

 

“Yeah, me too Cris.”

 

They both shared a smile and a meaningful look, the look of two people who used to know each other very well, once upon a time.

 

“You should talk to him.”

 

“What for?”

 

“It can’t be all love or hate, Cris. Maybe you could try and be friends? I think he’s important enough for you to try, isn’t he?”

 

Ricky kissed Cristiano’s cheek before disappearing into the horizon, leaving him to stare at Fábio some more.

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

“So, are you coming with me this summer or what?”

 

After having spent a good hour teasing Silva for losing his V-card, Fábio was now too busy contemplating the “Stare when you think he’s not watching” contest Leo and Gareth were having to answer seriously.

 

“I don’t know man, maybe you should take Messi with you after all.”

 

Soon enough he got a light slap for answer.

 

“I’m serious, man. I mean, it doesn’t have to be for the whole summer but at least sometime, yeah?”

  
“I don’t want to be a burden for your family.”

 

“Don’t be stupid, my family will love having you.”

 

Fábio stared at Gareth unsure and the Welsh boy sighed.

 

“I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong. I’m not doing this out of pity, okay? I just want to spend summer with my best friend.”

 

That earned him a smile from Fábio who looked at him and finally nodded his head; yes, of course he would spend his summer at Gareth’s.

 

“Finally! Let’s party it out!”

 

Soon enough the music was too loud, the faces were everywhere and the only thing Fábio could feel was pure insouciance.

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

Cristiano smiled at Marcelo and Neymar’s stupid dance moves but he couldn’t keep his eyes away from Fábio. Looking at him, every memory of them together hit him hard; the first meeting by the bench; the party; their first time at the beach; the stupid bet; the Logia; their second chance; the end... He could only smile at them; yes, he wanted to be something more than a memory for Fábio but Ricky was right: the blonde had become such an important part of his life, he couldn’t leave him out.

 

He waited for Fábio being alone, resting from dancing, and strolled casually towards him.

 

“Can we talk for a moment?”

 

Fábio sighed at him, looking suddenly older and extremely tired.

 

“I really do not want another discussion, Cris. It’s a party. Let’s enjoy it, shall we?”

 

“No discussion, I promise.”

 

Fábio analyzed Cristiano’s expression and, seeing nothing but truth etched on his features, smiled.

 

“Fine, what do you want?”

 

“I’d like for us to be friends. We’ve never really been that before, have we?”

 

Fábio shook his head, realizing Cristiano was right. They had never been friends, how was that even possible? What Fábio didn’t know at the time was that the true impossibility for them lied precisely in only having a friendship.

 

“I guess not.”

 

“I know I screwed up. I know I’ve screwed up multiple times but I don’t want it to be all or nothing between us. You’ve been really important to me this year and I’d like for you to still be.”

Fábio looked up at Cristiano and they both smiled at each other without further intentions. The blonde extended his hand towards the older boy.

 

“Then friends it is?”

 

Cristiano shook the hand he was being offered and smiled.

  
“Friends it is.”

 

There was nothing friendly in the electricity passing through their hands as they shook.

 

 ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

Cristiano entered his room a few hours later, too tired to do anything. He was extremely glad to have moved everything out the day before, something Leo regretted deeply to not have done.

 

“I told you so.”

 

“Shut up asshole!”

 

Leo was furiously throwing anything he could find inside his suitcase, absolutely failing at it. Cristiano smirked and sighed before sending his friend away to start all over again methodically.

 

“Every year it’s the same shit.”

 

“What can I say? Some things never change.”

 

Cristiano smirked and shook his head.

 

“So, what are you doing this summer?”

 

Leo shrugged.

“I don’t know, travel a bit I guess.”

 

“Hmm, what about travelling with me? You could come home with me.”

 

Leo smiled gratefully at Cristiano for everything he meant and he avoided to say.

 

“I’d love that, man.”

 

“It’s a deal then.”

 

“It’s a deal.”

 

 

And that’s how the boys left for the first summer after the year that changed their lives. They had learned an enormous amount of thins that year; they had learned the value of rebellion when it comes to stand up for what you believe is right; they had learned the value of friendship when it comes to growing up in our awfully big world; they had learned the value of truth when told in time; they had learned the power of love when it burns your whole body for the very first time and they knew there was still so much to learn.

 

 

 

_“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”_

_[Eric Roth](http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/80495.Eric_Roth), [The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Screenplay](http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1650517)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what are your thoughts on the whole year? And what should happen in season 2?
> 
> New characters will get in, don't hesitate to suggest names you'd like to see. 
> 
> Ps: I made myself a Tumblr -yourclems- and I don't have a single idea of how it works and what I'm supposed to do with it. Please, do not hesitate to enlighten me.
> 
> Ps1: anyone makes some art? Would love some for season 2. 
> 
> See you soon,
> 
> XOXO.


	36. Author's note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> READ

Hello my dear readers, remember me?

Season 2 is up... In case anybody is still here.

Cheers!

Clems.


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